be careful.
Be careful (of who you mess with)
Warning: Selfharm at the end of the chapter.
They were eating dinner that was served by Jimin who was humming as he finally sat down with them. He was too oblivious person because he couldn’t see the fire in Sehun’s eyes that was directed to him.
“You’ll feed me right, Sehun?” Jiyeon asked as she stared at Sehun with a glint of mischievousness.
Sehun turned to look at her, glaring. He know fully she was doing this on purposely. He crossed his arms and straighten his back. “Do i look like your mother? Because she’s the only person who can feed the dinosaur. Not me.”
“But you feed me the breakfast remember?” Jiyeon whined.
“I didn’t.” Sehun denied it straight away, feeling no shame at all.
Jiyeon gasped as she stand up on her place and pointing an accusing finger at him. “You did!”
“Okay, i did.”
Jiyeon was muted for a while. This was awkward now. He couldn’t just start something then act like he’s innocent. She thought for few seconds what to say until she remembered what she actually wanted from him. Calmly she sat down and demanded.
“Feed me!”
“And why would i?” Sehun asked as he start eating, totally ignoring the harsh glare from Jiyeon.
“Because my hand is burned. And because you’re my friend.”
Sehun stopped eating as he stared at the food with empty eyes. “Are friends suppose to do this?”
At first Jiyeon thought he was fooling around but when she stared at him and his body language, she know he was serious.
“They are. Friends are suppose to be always beside you whenever you need them. So now you’ll feed me.”
Sehun made annoying face. “If thats the case then i don’t want friends. Thank you.”
Jiyeon gasped offended. “You can’t be like this! Its so rude you know.”
Sehun didn’t bother as he kept eating. Jiyeon sighed. Sehun was really cold hearted person. Why can’t he be nice for once? Oh wait he had been nice few times. Still pouting, she stared at food. She wasn’t hungry but she won’t hide the disappointment she felt. She thought Sehun’ll will actually treat her nicely after being friends. It was proven Sehun don’t care. He never did. All he know is how to confuse her. She felt hurt. Why was she even sensitive? She wasn’t like this before. She hated being so sensitive but she couldn’t help herself. Thats how she decided to not eat.
Sehun stared at her from the corner of his eyes. He didn’t like the gloomy aura around her. Yet he was clueless of what he did to make her like this. Was it because he didn’t feed her? It was ridiculous but when she made no effort to eat Sehun start feeling bad. The reason was unknown but his heart know. How come his heart know most of the things whenever it came to Jiyeon? Why not others?
Jiyeon decided to leave. She wasn’t hungry and sitting like this won’t get her anywhere. Sehun was a cold jerk like always. Slowly pushing her chair back she stand up to leave and when she turned her head she felt hand grabbed her fingers. Trying to mask the hurt expression with annoyed one she looked at Sehun and her fingers.
“You didn’t touch your food.”
Jiyeon chuckled bitterly. “I’m not hungry.”
She tried to release her fingers but Sehun tightened his grip which earned him a harsh look from Jiyeon but as always Sehun could careless.
He got up too which confused both Jiyeon and Jimin. Sehun release his grip from her fingers only to grab her wrist. It was a gentle touch as he lead her to the living room. Confused, Jiyeon follow him.
Sehun gently push her against the wall. Jiyeon felt her heart going all raged. She don’t no what was Sehun doing but it made her nervous. Why would Sehun bring her here and corner her like this? What was his intentions?
Sehun’s warm hand grabbed her shoulders and leaned in, eyes on her eyes level with his lips only three inches away from her lips. His eyes so dark staring at her intensely made her wanted to hide her blushing face. She tried to calm her outside but from inside, it was impossible to control her crazy desires. The proximity was killing her. Needed a personal space, she placed her hand on his chest to push him away but Sehun didn’t budge. He even dare to move her hand away from his chest, a clear answer to her request. He wasn’t moving away.
He parted his lips and instantly she felt hot breath on her lips. Unconsciously she tightly shut her lips. Sehun chuckled as his eyes stared at her lips and shook his head then turn his eyes to hers.
“You’re mad at me.” It wasn’t even a question.
Jiyeon had to ignore her insides desires as she muttered in low voice. She don’t wanted to talk in normal voice and make Sehun think her of annoying creature for talking loudly. They were too close that she could feel his heart.
“What made you think so?”
Only if she know what impact that leave on Sehun. Jiyeon didn’t even realize her voice was seductive. Sehun growled lowly trying to stay under control.
“I just know.” He said in baritone.
Feeling sweats form on her forehead. She tried to act like she wasn’t effected. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Things never makes sense when it comes to me. I thought you should’ve know that by now.”
Slowly once again she brought her hand to his shoulder and placed it there. Wanting him to loose focus so she could push him away.
“Sehun, stop invading my personal space.” she muttered finally avoiding his eagle eyes.
Sehun chuckled lovingly. He push himself away. He was amused. Slowly backing away from her.
“If i made you nervous like this, you should’ve said so.” He informed even if he already know she was nervous.
Scoffing Jiyeon crossed her arms. Leaning on the wall with her comfort.
“If you have nothing to say, i need to sleep.”
Sehun sat on the arm rest of the couch. Looking down he said. “You don’t understand. I don’t want you to understand me but atleast... Let me understand you... One minute you’re trying to joke with me then the other you act like i did something wrong. I just don’t get it.”
Jiyeon’s eyes softened. She forget Sehun doesn’t understand normal friendship. He doesn’t give much attention to feelings. About how others feel.
Jiyeon walked to the couch and sat there, beside Sehun. Gently helding his hand which Sehun almost insanity snatched away from her. Jiyeon glared at his y face. Again she reached and held it tightly. She was thankful Sehun didn’t bother to use the strength to move his hand away from her.
“Friends depend on their friends. They tell their problems, share their happiness and sadness with their friends. They understand each other.” She said as she played with his long and lean fingers. She wondered how many people did he torture with these fingers. These fingers were full of sins Sehun commited but she admired them. They were part of Sehun’s body. They were just as y as Sehun’s entire self. She didn’t feel disgusted though. Even if these were the fingers that were curled into fist many times and collided with her own delicate cheeks. She couldn’t come to hate them. Not now. Not ever.
“You .” Sehun scoffed as he take his hand back. “I do these things with my friends too.”
Jiyeon rolled her eyes. Sehun really lacked manners. She wondered from when she start caring about manners. She never had some.
“Then why the hell you don’t understand me?!”
Sehun laughed at this. He was having fun annoying Jiyeon even if it wasn’t on purpose.
“Thats simple. Because i don’t no about you. All i know about you is you’re from rich family, love by them as their only child. Arrogant, self-centered, a bully, no manners or etiquette. A cry baby... I couldn’t think more but these things are flows. You’re full of flows. Thats what i think about you. I never saw any nice act from you. Now tell me how should i treat someone with these attitudes?”
Jiyeon become silent. Not only other people think about her like this but Sehun too. Was she really this kind of person? How come everyone saw that and not her? Was she that oblivious about herself? No wonder Sehun most of the time ignored her, no wonder Baekhyun was sick of her attitudes. On top of that, she teached Hyeri this Kind of things. She was wrong all along and only now realizing this.
“You must hate me. Here i was forcing you to be my friend...” She muttered with broken voice. She was mad at herself.
Sehun widened his eyes in surprise and got off then stand infront of her. “Wait i never said i don’t want to be your friend. What i wanted to tell you was let me know everything about you. Show me the sight you never show anyone.”
Jiyeon getting the wrong idea jerked back and pulled her arms on her chest, hiding it from Sehun in protective way. Sehun face palmed.
“I didn’t mean that sight. I mean your personality. Everyone have their fair share of flows and you just happened to have so many. Not like i’ve none, i have too many too so don’t worry. Nobody is all bad or all good character. Everyone have their reasons. And i believe you have your own. Open up to me so i understand you better.” he softly said the last sentence.
Jiyeon smiled, touched. Few seconds before she was feeling like a trash but Sehun made her feel human. A down to earth person. An ordinary human. She wasn’t alone. Everyone has flows. Some had big and some had small. With a weird luck, she and Sehun happened to have biggest flows. That way they could try to understand each other without judging. It was weird though. She shouldn’t be happy because they had big flows.
“I’ll try. We should try. You accept mine and i’ll accept yours.” Jiyeon shyly muttered.
And this time Sehun could never deny how much it effected his heart. Nobody ever said that to him. His friends were his friends because they were like him. Same flows. And other people treated him like a monster with no feelings. But Jiyeon despite being from different world wanted to accept him even with all the flows he had. He felt happy. He felt like he was human. He wasn’t scary like everyone made him out to be. It was the warmth he found in Jiyeon and he decided, he shouldn’t loose her. Even if she get tired of him, he’ll find a way to keep her with himself. Even if its means like prisoner then so be it. He was selfish for thinking like this. He was but that was one of his flow and Jiyeon to accept that. She said so.
Sehun feed Jiyeon the spoonful of rice. Only rice. Then laughed when Jiyeon tried hard to chew it down.
“Why are being annoying kid, old man!” Jiyeon hissed at Sehun with frown. Sehun was messing with her. First he forcefully made her eat, then he pressured that he’ll feed her and now he shove a spoonful with nothing but white rice which had no taste, in .
“I’m not.” With that he shoved another spoonful of rice.
Jiyeon throw the rice out and Sehun made a disgusting face and said. “Its gross. We are eating you know.”
Just then the door from outside opened and came a very dirty smell GD. Jiyeon widened her and took a step back, putting a hand on her nose. Jimin was surprised too while Sehun waved.
“What took you so long? We’re almost done with the dinner.”
Gd didn’t say anything and walked to the washroom. He badly needed it. Jimin got up to bring him some clothes. Sehun had clothes of many peoples sizes. They were old but nonetheless useable.
“What happened to him?” Jiyeon asked.
“Must have messed with someone out of his league.”
Jiyeon confusedly stared at him.
Jiyeon was already in her room. Trying to not sleep and staring at the time in each five or ten minutes. It was already one and she saw Sehun left about an hour ago. GD and Jimin were in their room sleeping. The outside door was locked with alarm. And she won’t dare to run away, not anymore.
She stared blankly, waiting for one twenty to happen and see what would happen but unfortunately the time was passing too slow. And the sleepiness was making her dizzy. Sehun before always made sure she should be sleeping before twelve a.m. So she was use to sleeping early and now this sudden act from herself was so irritating her at that one point she wanted to forget about Sehun and sleep but her eyes landed on the clock. More five minutes.
Five minutes later...
Jiyeon was wide awake. She was really curious to know what’ll be happening. Yet nothing happened. No one came from outside.
Half hour passed and she decided to just sleep. It doesn’t seem like Sehun has any intentions of coming back, well not anytime soon.
She walked out of her room to drink a glass of water and fall into deep slumber. Once she bring the glass to her lips, a door opened fron outside. Her heart stopped for a seconds in fear. She almost let the glass fall but regain self control and didn’t move from the kitchen. Too scared to do anything.
She peeked outside and saw a girl with really really tiny dress was blindfolded. Why? And Sehun was guiding her to the couch. Once he make her sit down, he removed the blindfold and before the girl could admire the house, Sehun smashed his lips on her harshly. The girl didn’t minded that as she kissed him back.
Jiyeon didn’t feel anything. She was shocked. Totally shocked. Sehun was making out some other girl on the same couch she was sitting before. And sit every morning.
Her lips trembled as Sehun kissed the girl’s neck, going lower and unfortunately Jiyeon know where this was going to end when she heard the zipper of the girl’s dress being opening by none other then Sehun’s hand. His fingers to be specific. The fingers she was admiring few hours ago. Don’t want to witness such a thing, she walked out the kitchen. Didn’t give much thought if Sehun caught her. So what if he did? Was she not allowed to drink water at one or two a.m.?
She heard the girl moan and stopped in her way. The girl start more. As always, a nosy person, she turned to look back and suppressed any sound coming from . First Sehun’s eyes were directed on her. His eyes were so full of lust and yet his hand were on the girl’s lower body part inside her dress.
It was obvious what he was doing. Sehun shamelessly doing something like this and staring at her didn’t help her in anything. It only made her realize her place. She was only a friend to him.
She turned away and ran to her room. Locking the door, she leaned her back on the door and slid down. Shutting as she heard the girl’s voice from the pleasure Sehun was giving her.
She sobbed. She sobbed from her heart. They were nothing more then friends but she thought they could be more. Oh how stupid she was for thinking like that. Sehun won’t ever look at her like this. Yes, Sehun do kiss her sometimes but he never seemed to have intentions of touching her with love. All it ever was lust. There was no place for her love in Sehun’s heart.
She walked to her bed and heard all the sounds from the living room. She was purposely trying to hear too. It was all , groaning and begging. She hide her face and slept like that. Crying the whole time she was awake.
The next morning Jiyeon woke up with puffy eyes. She washed up and instead of going out decided to lay on her bed.
Later Jimin knocked and informed her about food. She lazily walked to the dining room. The last night was terrible nightmare for her. Worst was it wasn’t just a nightmare. It was reality.
She saw Sehun eating silently while checking his phone out. She sat down looked at the food and thats when he looked at her.
Jiyeon felt his stare and looked at him. His eyes. He gave her a knowing look and smirked. It was strange. Sehun never smirk without reasons. So he remembered her watching him.
“How was your sleep?” Sehun asked starting a causal conversation with Jiyeon.
Jiyeon smiled weakly. “Good.”
Sehun nodded and Jiyeon sighed lowly in relief. But someone had to expose her and made her humiliated infront of Sehun.
“Weird, i thought i heard crying voices from your room and... Was it you... Or could it be ghost?” Jimin said with fearful eyes once he mentioned ghost.
Gd gasped hearing that and start making conclusions.
Jiyeon was mad. The person she wanted to hide from know for a fact what happened while the other two know nothing. Its not like Jiyeon wanted them to know too. She just wanted Sehun to be like them. Oblivious.
“Enough you two. Jiyeon... I’ve to talk with you after this.” Sehun said as he pointed at the food.
Jiyeon nodded. Avoiding to look at Sehun. It hurts to look at him.
Once they were finished, Sehun and Jiyeon walked to Jiyeon’s room. Jiyeon sat on her bed while Sehun sit on the chair.
“So... About last night... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it in living room and unfortunately you had to look at that.”
Jiyeon smiled bitterly and murmured its okay. Sehun sighed. “I think you like me... Don’t you?” Sehun asked carefully. Hoping 'no' for an answer.
Jiyeon shook her head. She couldn’t just admit it even if she do like him, a lot.
“Look, if by any chance you like me more then a friend then don’t. Stop. Because i won’t love you that way. I’m not a one women man. I don’t date. I just . So if you love me, you would only end up hurting yourself because i can’t give you what you want. Even if somehow we become together, i’ll cheat on you someday so... Don’t bother with me.” Sehun explained as nicely as he could. For two reasons. First he don’t want to loose a really good friend and two he want to avoid drama.
“But i already love you.” Jiyeon admitted lifelessely.
Sehun’s lips turned into thin line. This wasn’t how it was suppose to happen. “You can’t love me. I don’t love you. We can’t be anything more then friends.” he said coldly.
Jiyeon frowned as her lips trembled. Was she rejected?
“I love you Oh Sehun!”
Sehun get up and shook his head. His facial expressing were cold, just as cold as his voice. “I don’t love you. You’re not my type. Too innocent.”
Sehun left and when he did, Jiyeon felt dead. She cried and cried. But Sehun didn’t come.
Sehun didn’t bother about her cries. He heard the loud sobbing and he know it was time to kill her or send her far away. He finally broke her heart. He played with her feelings and now like always left the girl with broken heart. Just this time its different. This time Sehun won’t let the girl go. He’ll keep her with himself and would force her to be his friend. Doesn’t matter how much she’s hurting. Eventually he she’ll learn to live with Sehun with no love involved and just friendship.
Sehun was in the club waiting for someone. He felt bad for talking with Jiyeon like this but it was the fact that he stated. Beside it was for her own good too. It was true he won’t love her. If he did, he was sure he’d end up cheating on her. This was Sehun’s nature.
“Hey Sehun.”
Sehun waited for the girl to reach. She smiled brightly at Sehun. Sehun faked a smile. Surely not in the mood to act nice yet had to.
“Last night was amazing. And because you made me feel great, i’ll take good care of your girl.” The girl said in utter excitement that made Sehun wonder whats so good that made them happy. There was nothing good in the world to be happy about. The world was colorless. Or maybe that was his world. All he ever see was red. A blood color.
“You had to either way, Naeun. I didn’t waste my night for free.” Sehun muttered as he placed the cigarette between his lips and light it up with lighter.
“You really wanted to die that badly? I told you to stop smoking already!” Naeun demanded but Sehun simply did not listen and to annoy her more, he pulled the cigarette away from his mouth just to let the smoke on Naeun’s face, making her cough a little as she gave him a disappointed look.
“And when did i start listening to a ? Oh please, just go and someone else.” Sehun stated. He saw the hurt look on the girl’s face but he could careless.
All he could remember was Jiyeon.
Seriously he was going crazy. Why he only think of her and now he was here for Jiyeon when he was suppose to be resting. He actually had a one night with Naeun as a condition for Naeun to take care of Jiyeon when she’ll start working. To help Jiyeon when she needed one.
But to make himself feel better he repeated it was for a friend. He was being careful because Jiyeon was a friend to him. And friend do care about their friend.
Then he remembered something. Jiyeon was . He can’t let someone her. If she work here, the chances are bigger to get and what if Sehun might not be here to help her? He needed to prepare her. He needed to take her ity so she won’t lose it to someone gross and disgusting. No, he wasn’t going to take advantage of her. He just wanted to be a nice friend. Atleast he’d be gentle for her. Unlike some other man who won’t give a two about her.
Sehun wasn’t truelly cruel. He know she won’t be ready. So he’ll explain her first and then would wait until she want him to take her. And no, he wasn’t going to give her option to choose someone else. Let it be Kyungsoo or Minseok. He won’t let them touch her. It’ll be him and just him. Again because he don’t trust peoples on Jiyeon.
Sehun was such a sore looser. He didn’t realise or just didn’t want to admit that he want her for himself. It was the jealousy he felt once he think of her with some other guy. A slightest touch made his blood boil. It didn’t felt like that before though so what Happened?
Jiyeon stared blankly. Its been two days she had been rejected. It was the second time she loved the same person and end up hurt. Why? Jusy why? Why Sehun had to be the worst human being alive? Why can’t they be more then friends? She thought friendship could lead to more things but... It didn’t. It made her to understand Sehun better but that wasn’t good enough. She wanted more. She needed more.
But Sehun don’t want to give her more. He was selfish. He caged her here and didn’t leave her an option but to love him. Who wouldn’t fall in love with him? He had the charm to make one go crazy so it wasn’t Jiyeon’s fault.
So she decided. She’ll move on. She can’t keep loving someone who won’t return her feelings. It was useless and waste of her precious time. She planned that once she start her work, she’ll find someone who she’ll love and who’ll love back. She’ll run away with that person. Away from Sehun and away from his troubles. She might miss him but that won’t matter much after.
One last thing left for now. Jiyeon slowly got up and walked to ger kitchen. She took a knife and walked to the washroom. Staring at the mirror at her reflection she nodded her head, encouraging herself.
She needed to punish herself for loving Sehun who didn’t return her feelings. So next time she won’t do the same mistake.
She looked down at her body, trying to see where she should hurt herself and it won’t be visible infront of anyone’s eyes. Then she stared at her collar bone.
It was such beautiful, milky and clean skin but shamefully it had to be ruined. Jiyeon thought as she slowly cut the flesh there. Once the cut was deep she stopped and clean the blood and blood from her collar bone, wincing at itching pain. Once cleaned, she use the band aid and left the washroom clean like nothing happened.
Once she started, she couldn’t stopped.
This is what Sehun said.
They were eating dinner that was served by Jimin who was humming as he finally sat down with them. He was too oblivious person because he couldn’t see the fire in Sehun’s eyes that was directed to him.
“You’ll feed me right, Sehun?” Jiyeon asked as she stared at Sehun with a glint of mischievousness.
Sehun turned to look at her, glaring. He know fully she was doing this on purposely. He crossed his arms and straighten his back. “Do i look like your mother? Because she’s the only person who can feed the dinosaur. Not me.”
“But you feed me the breakfast remember?” Jiyeon whined.
“I didn’t.” Sehun denied it straight away, feeling no shame at all.
Jiyeon gasped as she stand up on her place and pointing an accusing finger at him. “You did!”
“Okay, i did.”
Jiyeon was muted for a while. This was awkward now. He couldn’t just start something then act like he’s innocent. She thought for few seconds what to say until she remembered what she actually wanted from him. Calmly she sat down and demanded.
“Feed me!”
“And why would i?” Sehun asked as he start eating, totally ignoring the harsh glare from Jiyeon.
“Because my hand is burned. And because you’re my friend.”
Sehun stopped eating as he stared at the food with empty eyes. “Are friends suppose to do this?”
At first Jiyeon thought he was fooling around but when she stared at him and his body language, she know he was serious.
“They are. Friends are suppose to be always beside you whenever you need them. So now you’ll feed me.”
Sehun made annoying face. “If thats the case then i don’t want friends. Thank you.”
Jiyeon gasped offended. “You can’t be like this! Its so rude you know.”
Sehun didn’t bother as he kept eating. Jiyeon sighed. Sehun was really cold hearted person. Why can’t he be nice for once? Oh wait he had been nice few times. Still pouting, she stared at food. She wasn’t hungry but she won’t hide the disappointment she felt. She thought Sehun’ll will actually treat her nicely after being friends. It was proven Sehun don’t care. He never did. All he know is how to confuse her. She felt hurt. Why was she even sensitive? She wasn’t like this before. She hated being so sensitive but she couldn’t help herself. Thats how she decided to not eat.
Sehun stared at her from the corner of his eyes. He didn’t like the gloomy aura around her. Yet he was clueless of what he did to make her like this. Was it because he didn’t feed her? It was ridiculous but when she made no effort to eat Sehun start feeling bad. The reason was unknown but his heart know. How come his heart know most of the things whenever it came to Jiyeon? Why not others?
Jiyeon decided to leave. She wasn’t hungry and sitting like this won’t get her anywhere. Sehun was a cold jerk like always. Slowly pushing her chair back she stand up to leave and when she turned her head she felt hand grabbed her fingers. Trying to mask the hurt expression with annoyed one she looked at Sehun and her fingers.
“You didn’t touch your food.”
Jiyeon chuckled bitterly. “I’m not hungry.”
She tried to release her fingers but Sehun tightened his grip which earned him a harsh look from Jiyeon but as always Sehun could careless.
He got up too which confused both Jiyeon and Jimin. Sehun release his grip from her fingers only to grab her wrist. It was a gentle touch as he lead her to the living room. Confused, Jiyeon follow him.
Sehun gently push her against the wall. Jiyeon felt her heart going all raged. She don’t no what was Sehun doing but it made her nervous. Why would Sehun bring her here and corner her like this? What was his intentions?
Sehun’s warm hand grabbed her shoulders and leaned in, eyes on her eyes level with his lips only three inches away from her lips. His eyes so dark staring at her intensely made her wanted to hide her blushing face. She tried to calm her outside but from inside, it was impossible to control her crazy desires. The proximity was killing her. Needed a personal space, she placed her hand on his chest to push him away but Sehun didn’t budge. He even dare to move her hand away from his chest, a clear answer to her request. He wasn’t moving away.
He parted his lips and instantly she felt hot breath on her lips. Unconsciously she tightly shut her lips. Sehun chuckled as his eyes stared at her lips and shook his head then turn his eyes to hers.
“You’re mad at me.” It wasn’t even a question.
Jiyeon had to ignore her insides desires as she muttered in low voice. She don’t wanted to talk in normal voice and make Sehun think her of annoying creature for talking loudly. They were too close that she could feel his heart.
“What made you think so?”
Only if she know what impact that leave on Sehun. Jiyeon didn’t even realize her voice was seductive. Sehun growled lowly trying to stay under control.
“I just know.” He said in baritone.
Feeling sweats form on her forehead. She tried to act like she wasn’t effected. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Things never makes sense when it comes to me. I thought you should’ve know that by now.”
Slowly once again she brought her hand to his shoulder and placed it there. Wanting him to loose focus so she could push him away.
“Sehun, stop invading my personal space.” she muttered finally avoiding his eagle eyes.
Sehun chuckled lovingly. He push himself away. He was amused. Slowly backing away from her.
“If i made you nervous like this, you should’ve said so.” He informed even if he already know she was nervous.
Scoffing Jiyeon crossed her arms. Leaning on the wall with her comfort.
“If you have nothing to say, i need to sleep.”
Sehun sat on the arm rest of the couch. Looking down he said. “You don’t understand. I don’t want you to understand me but atleast... Let me understand you... One minute you’re trying to joke with me then the other you act like i did something wrong. I just don’t get it.”
Jiyeon’s eyes softened. She forget Sehun doesn’t understand normal friendship. He doesn’t give much attention to feelings. About how others feel.
Jiyeon walked to the couch and sat there, beside Sehun. Gently helding his hand which Sehun almost insanity snatched away from her. Jiyeon glared at his y face. Again she reached and held it tightly. She was thankful Sehun didn’t bother to use the strength to move his hand away from her.
“Friends depend on their friends. They tell their problems, share their happiness and sadness with their friends. They understand each other.” She said as she played with his long and lean fingers. She wondered how many people did he torture with these fingers. These fingers were full of sins Sehun commited but she admired them. They were part of Sehun’s body. They were just as y as Sehun’s entire self. She didn’t feel disgusted though. Even if these were the fingers that were curled into fist many times and collided with her own delicate cheeks. She couldn’t come to hate them. Not now. Not ever.
“You .” Sehun scoffed as he take his hand back. “I do these things with my friends too.”
Jiyeon rolled her eyes. Sehun really lacked manners. She wondered from when she start caring about manners. She never had some.
“Then why the hell you don’t understand me?!”
Sehun laughed at this. He was having fun annoying Jiyeon even if it wasn’t on purpose.
“Thats simple. Because i don’t no about you. All i know about you is you’re from rich family, love by them as their only child. Arrogant, self-centered, a bully, no manners or etiquette. A cry baby... I couldn’t think more but these things are flows. You’re full of flows. Thats what i think about you. I never saw any nice act from you. Now tell me how should i treat someone with these attitudes?”
Jiyeon become silent. Not only other people think about her like this but Sehun too. Was she really this kind of person? How come everyone saw that and not her? Was she that oblivious about herself? No wonder Sehun most of the time ignored her, no wonder Baekhyun was sick of her attitudes. On top of that, she teached Hyeri this Kind of things. She was wrong all along and only now realizing this.
“You must hate me. Here i was forcing you to be my friend...” She muttered with broken voice. She was mad at herself.
Sehun widened his eyes in surprise and got off then stand infront of her. “Wait i never said i don’t want to be your friend. What i wanted to tell you was let me know everything about you. Show me the sight you never show anyone.”
Jiyeon getting the wrong idea jerked back and pulled her arms on her chest, hiding it from Sehun in protective way. Sehun face palmed.
“I didn’t mean that sight. I mean your personality. Everyone have their fair share of flows and you just happened to have so many. Not like i’ve none, i have too many too so don’t worry. Nobody is all bad or all good character. Everyone have their reasons. And i believe you have your own. Open up to me so i understand you better.” he softly said the last sentence.
Jiyeon smiled, touched. Few seconds before she was feeling like a trash but Sehun made her feel human. A down to earth person. An ordinary human. She wasn’t alone. Everyone has flows. Some had big and some had small. With a weird luck, she and Sehun happened to have biggest flows. That way they could try to understand each other without judging. It was weird though. She shouldn’t be happy because they had big flows.
“I’ll try. We should try. You accept mine and i’ll accept yours.” Jiyeon shyly muttered.
And this time Sehun could never deny how much it effected his heart. Nobody ever said that to him. His friends were his friends because they were like him. Same flows. And other people treated him like a monster with no feelings. But Jiyeon despite being from different world wanted to accept him even with all the flows he had. He felt happy. He felt like he was human. He wasn’t scary like everyone made him out to be. It was the warmth he found in Jiyeon and he decided, he shouldn’t loose her. Even if she get tired of him, he’ll find a way to keep her with himself. Even if its means like prisoner then so be it. He was selfish for thinking like this. He was but that was one of his flow and Jiyeon to accept that. She said so.
Sehun feed Jiyeon the spoonful of rice. Only rice. Then laughed when Jiyeon tried hard to chew it down.
“Why are being annoying kid, old man!” Jiyeon hissed at Sehun with frown. Sehun was messing with her. First he forcefully made her eat, then he pressured that he’ll feed her and now he shove a spoonful with nothing but white rice which had no taste, in .
“I’m not.” With that he shoved another spoonful of rice.
Jiyeon throw the rice out and Sehun made a disgusting face and said. “Its gross. We are eating you know.”
Just then the door from outside opened and came a very dirty smell GD. Jiyeon widened her and took a step back, putting a hand on her nose. Jimin was surprised too while Sehun waved.
“What took you so long? We’re almost done with the dinner.”
Gd didn’t say anything and walked to the washroom. He badly needed it. Jimin got up to bring him some clothes. Sehun had clothes of many peoples sizes. They were old but nonetheless useable.
“What happened to him?” Jiyeon asked.
“Must have messed with someone out of his league.”
Jiyeon confusedly stared at him.
Jiyeon was already in her room. Trying to not sleep and staring at the time in each five or ten minutes. It was already one and she saw Sehun left about an hour ago. GD and Jimin were in their room sleeping. The outside door was locked with alarm. And she won’t dare to run away, not anymore.
She stared blankly, waiting for one twenty to happen and see what would happen but unfortunately the time was passing too slow. And the sleepiness was making her dizzy. Sehun before always made sure she should be sleeping before twelve a.m. So she was use to sleeping early and now this sudden act from herself was so irritating her at that one point she wanted to forget about Sehun and sleep but her eyes landed on the clock. More five minutes.
Five minutes later...
Jiyeon was wide awake. She was really curious to know what’ll be happening. Yet nothing happened. No one came from outside.
Half hour passed and she decided to just sleep. It doesn’t seem like Sehun has any intentions of coming back, well not anytime soon.
She walked out of her room to drink a glass of water and fall into deep slumber. Once she bring the glass to her lips, a door opened fron outside. Her heart stopped for a seconds in fear. She almost let the glass fall but regain self control and didn’t move from the kitchen. Too scared to do anything.
She peeked outside and saw a girl with really really tiny dress was blindfolded. Why? And Sehun was guiding her to the couch. Once he make her sit down, he removed the blindfold and before the girl could admire the house, Sehun smashed his lips on her harshly. The girl didn’t minded that as she kissed him back.
Jiyeon didn’t feel anything. She was shocked. Totally shocked. Sehun was making out some other girl on the same couch she was sitting before. And sit every morning.
Her lips trembled as Sehun kissed the girl’s neck, going lower and unfortunately Jiyeon know where this was going to end when she heard the zipper of the girl’s dress being opening by none other then Sehun’s hand. His fingers to be specific. The fingers she was admiring few hours ago. Don’t want to witness such a thing, she walked out the kitchen. Didn’t give much thought if Sehun caught her. So what if he did? Was she not allowed to drink water at one or two a.m.?
She heard the girl moan and stopped in her way. The girl start more. As always, a nosy person, she turned to look back and suppressed any sound coming from . First Sehun’s eyes were directed on her. His eyes were so full of lust and yet his hand were on the girl’s lower body part inside her dress.
It was obvious what he was doing. Sehun shamelessly doing something like this and staring at her didn’t help her in anything. It only made her realize her place. She was only a friend to him.
She turned away and ran to her room. Locking the door, she leaned her back on the door and slid down. Shutting as she heard the girl’s voice from the pleasure Sehun was giving her.
She sobbed. She sobbed from her heart. They were nothing more then friends but she thought they could be more. Oh how stupid she was for thinking like that. Sehun won’t ever look at her like this. Yes, Sehun do kiss her sometimes but he never seemed to have intentions of touching her with love. All it ever was lust. There was no place for her love in Sehun’s heart.
She walked to her bed and heard all the sounds from the living room. She was purposely trying to hear too. It was all , groaning and begging. She hide her face and slept like that. Crying the whole time she was awake.
The next morning Jiyeon woke up with puffy eyes. She washed up and instead of going out decided to lay on her bed.
Later Jimin knocked and informed her about food. She lazily walked to the dining room. The last night was terrible nightmare for her. Worst was it wasn’t just a nightmare. It was reality.
She saw Sehun eating silently while checking his phone out. She sat down looked at the food and thats when he looked at her.
Jiyeon felt his stare and looked at him. His eyes. He gave her a knowing look and smirked. It was strange. Sehun never smirk without reasons. So he remembered her watching him.
“How was your sleep?” Sehun asked starting a causal conversation with Jiyeon.
Jiyeon smiled weakly. “Good.”
Sehun nodded and Jiyeon sighed lowly in relief. But someone had to expose her and made her humiliated infront of Sehun.
“Weird, i thought i heard crying voices from your room and... Was it you... Or could it be ghost?” Jimin said with fearful eyes once he mentioned ghost.
Gd gasped hearing that and start making conclusions.
Jiyeon was mad. The person she wanted to hide from know for a fact what happened while the other two know nothing. Its not like Jiyeon wanted them to know too. She just wanted Sehun to be like them. Oblivious.
“Enough you two. Jiyeon... I’ve to talk with you after this.” Sehun said as he pointed at the food.
Jiyeon nodded. Avoiding to look at Sehun. It hurts to look at him.
Once they were finished, Sehun and Jiyeon walked to Jiyeon’s room. Jiyeon sat on her bed while Sehun sit on the chair.
“So... About last night... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it in living room and unfortunately you had to look at that.”
Jiyeon smiled bitterly and murmured its okay. Sehun sighed. “I think you like me... Don’t you?” Sehun asked carefully. Hoping 'no' for an answer.
Jiyeon shook her head. She couldn’t just admit it even if she do like him, a lot.
“Look, if by any chance you like me more then a friend then don’t. Stop. Because i won’t love you that way. I’m not a one women man. I don’t date. I just . So if you love me, you would only end up hurting yourself because i can’t give you what you want. Even if somehow we become together, i’ll cheat on you someday so... Don’t bother with me.” Sehun explained as nicely as he could. For two reasons. First he don’t want to loose a really good friend and two he want to avoid drama.
“But i already love you.” Jiyeon admitted lifelessely.
Sehun’s lips turned into thin line. This wasn’t how it was suppose to happen. “You can’t love me. I don’t love you. We can’t be anything more then friends.” he said coldly.
Jiyeon frowned as her lips trembled. Was she rejected?
“I love you Oh Sehun!”
Sehun get up and shook his head. His facial expressing were cold, just as cold as his voice. “I don’t love you. You’re not my type. Too innocent.”
Sehun left and when he did, Jiyeon felt dead. She cried and cried. But Sehun didn’t come.
Sehun didn’t bother about her cries. He heard the loud sobbing and he know it was time to kill her or send her far away. He finally broke her heart. He played with her feelings and now like always left the girl with broken heart. Just this time its different. This time Sehun won’t let the girl go. He’ll keep her with himself and would force her to be his friend. Doesn’t matter how much she’s hurting. Eventually he she’ll learn to live with Sehun with no love involved and just friendship.
Sehun was in the club waiting for someone. He felt bad for talking with Jiyeon like this but it was the fact that he stated. Beside it was for her own good too. It was true he won’t love her. If he did, he was sure he’d end up cheating on her. This was Sehun’s nature.
“Hey Sehun.”
Sehun waited for the girl to reach. She smiled brightly at Sehun. Sehun faked a smile. Surely not in the mood to act nice yet had to.
“Last night was amazing. And because you made me feel great, i’ll take good care of your girl.” The girl said in utter excitement that made Sehun wonder whats so good that made them happy. There was nothing good in the world to be happy about. The world was colorless. Or maybe that was his world. All he ever see was red. A blood color.
“You had to either way, Naeun. I didn’t waste my night for free.” Sehun muttered as he placed the cigarette between his lips and light it up with lighter.
“You really wanted to die that badly? I told you to stop smoking already!” Naeun demanded but Sehun simply did not listen and to annoy her more, he pulled the cigarette away from his mouth just to let the smoke on Naeun’s face, making her cough a little as she gave him a disappointed look.
“And when did i start listening to a ? Oh please, just go and someone else.” Sehun stated. He saw the hurt look on the girl’s face but he could careless.
All he could remember was Jiyeon.
Seriously he was going crazy. Why he only think of her and now he was here for Jiyeon when he was suppose to be resting. He actually had a one night with Naeun as a condition for Naeun to take care of Jiyeon when she’ll start working. To help Jiyeon when she needed one.
But to make himself feel better he repeated it was for a friend. He was being careful because Jiyeon was a friend to him. And friend do care about their friend.
Then he remembered something. Jiyeon was . He can’t let someone her. If she work here, the chances are bigger to get and what if Sehun might not be here to help her? He needed to prepare her. He needed to take her ity so she won’t lose it to someone gross and disgusting. No, he wasn’t going to take advantage of her. He just wanted to be a nice friend. Atleast he’d be gentle for her. Unlike some other man who won’t give a two about her.
Sehun wasn’t truelly cruel. He know she won’t be ready. So he’ll explain her first and then would wait until she want him to take her. And no, he wasn’t going to give her option to choose someone else. Let it be Kyungsoo or Minseok. He won’t let them touch her. It’ll be him and just him. Again because he don’t trust peoples on Jiyeon.
Sehun was such a sore looser. He didn’t realise or just didn’t want to admit that he want her for himself. It was the jealousy he felt once he think of her with some other guy. A slightest touch made his blood boil. It didn’t felt like that before though so what Happened?
Jiyeon stared blankly. Its been two days she had been rejected. It was the second time she loved the same person and end up hurt. Why? Jusy why? Why Sehun had to be the worst human being alive? Why can’t they be more then friends? She thought friendship could lead to more things but... It didn’t. It made her to understand Sehun better but that wasn’t good enough. She wanted more. She needed more.
But Sehun don’t want to give her more. He was selfish. He caged her here and didn’t leave her an option but to love him. Who wouldn’t fall in love with him? He had the charm to make one go crazy so it wasn’t Jiyeon’s fault.
So she decided. She’ll move on. She can’t keep loving someone who won’t return her feelings. It was useless and waste of her precious time. She planned that once she start her work, she’ll find someone who she’ll love and who’ll love back. She’ll run away with that person. Away from Sehun and away from his troubles. She might miss him but that won’t matter much after.
One last thing left for now. Jiyeon slowly got up and walked to ger kitchen. She took a knife and walked to the washroom. Staring at the mirror at her reflection she nodded her head, encouraging herself.
She needed to punish herself for loving Sehun who didn’t return her feelings. So next time she won’t do the same mistake.
She looked down at her body, trying to see where she should hurt herself and it won’t be visible infront of anyone’s eyes. Then she stared at her collar bone.
It was such beautiful, milky and clean skin but shamefully it had to be ruined. Jiyeon thought as she slowly cut the flesh there. Once the cut was deep she stopped and clean the blood and blood from her collar bone, wincing at itching pain. Once cleaned, she use the band aid and left the washroom clean like nothing happened.
Once she started, she couldn’t stopped.
This is what Sehun said.
Here’s it. I hope
you guys like this.
Well i’m too much
sleepy and don’t
no what to say.
Its already 11 a.m
yet i didn’t sleep
so i’ll be going
now.
Btw many things
happened and
are going to
happen. Enjoy :)
Thanks for subscribing,
commenting and voting :)
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