be careful.
Be careful (of who you mess with)
Warning: Drug use.
“Force him to rest. I know he’s a hard headed person so he will most probably ignore that. But please, do your best to stop him from working.” Kyungsoo said as he stared at Minseok with knowing look.
Minseok sighed. “I’ll try to do my best but you know i’ve a business to take care of so i’m not free all the time.”
Kyungsoo nodded. It was true, he would’ve volunteer to stay with Sehun himself but he’s busy himself.
“Who will do the housechores? We need to come with solution. Jiyeon is spoiled daddy’s girl so she don’t how to do anything, not like she’s in any good condition.”
Both fall into silence. Thinking what should they do. Minseok can only stay for a day and a maid coming here means exposing Sehun’s where about to the world, which they’ve to avoid.
“How about GD? I think he’s on his vacation so maybe we should talk with him to take care of Sehun, Jiyeon and the house for few days.” Minseok helplessely muttered.
Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow. “You know what you’re talking about? It GD for god sake. He’s a number one lazy human and beside he’s such a ert who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Remember he’s biual. Beside once i heard him saying he wanted to taste Sehun. Sehun isn’t ready to defend himself either if he tried to do something, let alone save Jiyeon. GD isn’t someone we can come and play with then life happily ever after.”
Minseok’s jaw dropped.
“You’re overthinking.” was what Minseok could say.
Kyungsoo chuckled lightly in embarrassment. “Okay i might have thought too much but still its GD... He likes to make trouble...”
“GD might be but he know his limits beside he’s friend of mine. Sehun is old enough to beat the crap out of him if he tried to do something. Sehun is mentally vulnerable, not physically. Why you made him sound like a fragile girl needed a knight to be saved. If anything, Sehun is the knight.” Minseok tried to persuade that GD wasn’t a bad option.
“Would you let him alone with Chorong?” Kyungsoo asked challenging.
Minseok groaned. “Chorong is a girl. Sehun is a big man.”
“But GD don’t find any difference. He like both male and female so he i can’t trust him for Sehun. Sehun is like a baby to m-”
Minseok gasped in offending manner. “So you’re saying a baby can kidnap a young girl just for fun? To see her get hurt?! SEHUN ISN’T BABY!! HE’S ING GROWN UP MAN YOU DIMWIT!!”
Kyungsoo stood up and throw his arms in the air. “SAY WHAT YOU WANT, SEHUN WILL STAY MY BABY FOREVER! I take care of him when he needed someone beside him so who the hell are you to interrupt between us?! HE’S MY BABY AND THATS FINAL!!!”
Kyungsoo screamed his lungs out.
It was silence with Minseok frightened.
Hesitatingly Minseok muttered. “But he is twenty three-”
“AARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Kyungsoo screamed like a gorilla and walked away.
Minseok eyes were widened. Did he say something wrong? Kyungsoo looked so pissed off.
Minseok shrugged and followed Kyungsoo to Sehun’s room.
Kyungsoo glared at him sassily and hushed him. He knocked then lightly opened it.
Sehun’s back was placed on the soft pillow, on the headboard. He was staring blankly, nowhere exactly. His eyes seemed so empty. He didn’t even move his head to the door when Kyungsoo and Minseok came in.
“Sehun... Do you feel okay?” Kyungsoo asked softly, standing closer to the bed.
Sehun slowly turned to look at Kyungsoo then shook his head.
“I feel like a crap. A loser. Coward. Useless. I feel i should’ve died in that accident.” Sehun spoke those words with broken voice.
Kyungsoo frowned. “Why are you saying this?! Do you ever consider our feelings? I... So i saved you for nothing that day?! Till today i’m watching you doing dirty deeds with hand on hand, acting like i don’t no anything when police ask me. Hiding the people who you kill, always on your aid and whoever you want me to aid?! I put effort into those things just because i care for you like a younger brother and yet you come and say you should’ve died?! Unbelievable.” Kyungsoo snapped at Sehun.
Sehun looked down at his lap in shame. Sehun wasn’t the one to show emotions. But to his best friends, he’s defeated. He don’t feel the need to hide his emotions. They weren’t the one to judge him.
“I-it hurts.” muttered Sehun.
Minseok decided to interrupt this time. He climb on the bed and sat infront of Sehun. “What hurts?”
Sehun looked at Minseok. “The guy... In my memories... I didn’t fight for him... I let him get hurt... And now i don’t even know who he is. Its just frustrating. I was at the verge of forgetting him! But she made me remember all that... She made me... Its unfair... Why?” Sehun low down his face again. Few tears slipping down which Minseok wiped it for him as he pulled the tall in guy in hug.
“Maybe thats a sign that you shouldn’t give up on that guy. Maybe that guy still needs you. Its good you remembered something. The only thing you need to remember is now whose that guy. You’ll, with time you’ll.”
After few minutes Sehun looked up again at Kyungsoo and Minseok. “Do you think maybe Mr Park know about him?”
Kyungsoo shook his head. “If he know about him, he would rather take him as hostage then, to keep your mouth shut instead of sending someone to kill you. Or better, do what you did to his daughter.”
Minseok nodded, agreeing with Kyungsoo. “He’s right. By the way, this Jiyeon is the same girl you ruined her face before right?”
Sehun nodded.
“So this beautiful face is plastic surgery?” Minseok asked shocked.
Sehun raised his eyebrows. “I never give it a thought before. I think it is plastic surgery.”
Kyungsoo shook his head in disappointment. “Does Jiyeon know it was you? No wonder her father send peoples to kill you. You were . Wait- you ARE .” Kyungsoo emphasized the 'are' word.
Sehun shook his head. “If she remembered, she would’ve hated me from the start for different reasons not because i was strick. Beside when i throw it at her face, she was looking down then she start shouting. My face was hidden with mask too.”
“I’ll be going. Don’t work. Let Jiyeon rest too.” Kyungsoo immediately said, wanting to see Jiyeon’s face. He walked out, not realizing his words made Sehun all gloomy.
Kyungsoo went to Jiyeon’s room. She was sleeping with her hand all bandaged. Her chest gently rising and falling.
Kyungsoo looks closely at her face, trying to see any traces of plastic surgery. He ended up sighing. Her father must have hired the best doctor out there to hide the knife work because he could see none... Or this was her natural beauty and Sehun did some mistake in whatever he throw at her, or maybe he ruined somewhere else instead of her face then. Anything could happened.
Were they destined to meet?
Kyungsoo wondered.
“Sehun, i’ve to talk to you about Jiyeon.” Minseok seriously said. Sehun just looked at him.
“Don’t you think you’re too harsh with her. Why are you doing this? Do you want to make her like yourself? Tell me, Sehun. Say something.”
Sehun closed his eyes tiredly, annoying headache coming as he remembered her bleeding arm. “I don’t no. I was mad at her for trying to run away when i was being nice. I lost control.”
Minseok shook his head. “No Sehun. You can’t use that excuse of being out of control. Stop this. Man up and take responsibilities.”
Sehun looked up. “I don’t no what to do. You want me to be honest? Yes, i almost wanted to kill her there with the man who helped her... I just changed my mind... I don’t no why i did that. Its stupid and ridiculous. I’m being a pathetic idiot.”
Minseok listened. He would have loved to say Sehun was changing but not for good. He was lettings his guards down for a girl. He feels like Sehun has something for her. Minseok has to stop that. Jiyeon had to go away before Sehun could fall for her. If Sehun fall for her, Sehun’s enemies will use her to get Sehun. This way it would be dangerous for both of them. He treat Sehun like a family and no way he would let that happen. Sehun and Jiyeon both are from different worlds. They can’t live with each other without difficulties. Being with Sehun means all kind of danger. Being with Jiyeon mean... Sehun has to change his entire self. Thats why this isn’t right for them to be together. Minseok concluded.
“You need rest. And its better if you keep distance from her. This way you won’t hurt her.”
And won’t fall in love with her either.
Sehun listened. He just didn’t like the way Minseok said it. Was Minseok commanding him? Did Minseok thought he was stupid who will destroy everything? Sehun frowned at the thought. No one has rights to think about him like this but only himself.
“I’ll be going for now. Will come to check on you at night. Rest for now.”
Sehun was left alone as Minseok left. He sighed loudly. His headache was getting worse. He clutched it tightly in his hands as he lay flat on the bed. Trying his best to ignore the thinking of the blurry person in his memories.
Few minutes later when it didn’t stop, he sat down with pained expressions. His eyes went to the drawer of his medicines. He just wanted to end the pain. He slowly got up on his weak feet and walked to the drawer. His posture that was always perfect wasn’t anymore.
Once he opened the drawer, his eyes didn’t landed on the medicines. It was the drug that he stared with longing eyes. He didn’t needed it for a long time until today. Shaking hand grabbed the box filled with white powder.
He stared deeply at the drug called heroin. Knowing he’ll regret later, he hesitated. It was like a friend for him whenever he couldn’t come over the pain, whether physical or emotional. He use to be drug addict after the accident where he lost his memories. But once his health become so worse that he was between life and death. He survived but after that, his friends take all the drugs he had in his house. It was painful, Sehun start killing after that. He tortured others for his frustration. Then he find the same pleasure in killing. Yet he hide the one box from his friends, incase things get worse for him. And here he was, staring at the poison.
Slowly he walked back to the bed and sat at the edge, staring at the drug. Still not sure if he should use it. Was it worth it? Was it worth risking his life for a ridiculous pain and a stupid blurry guy?
Just then extreme pain shot through his head, making him whimper. He was used to pain and all but he could never get use to this pain whatever he tried. He loved pain but not this one.
This was the trigger as he sniff the powder and put a very little amount of it in his tongue. Once he tasted it, it taste so good that Sehun felt like wanting more. He know it would harm him so he immediately get up and put the box in drawer.
He felt his pain reducing. Slowly his breathing start slowing down too. His mind calming down. As the amount was less, it didn’t make him out of his body control. He just felt the pain leaving him. His messed up thoughts leaving him away.
The only thing stayed was Jiyeon. Her blood filled arm. He wondered was she fine now? Did kyungsoo took care of her? He thought to check up on her, nothing much, just checking her up. Afterall she’s his responsibility. Minseok said so.
This was excuse to make himself feel better.
He personally was worried.
He get up, his vision not cleared as his felt so sleepy. He wanted to sleep but his mind and heart couldn’t let him.
Slowly, trying to balance his body he walked to the door. Opening it gently then closing behind him. The hallway seemed so large but he needed to see her. It was all he wanted to do.
Once he reach her room, he opened it and peek inside. She was sleeping peacefully on the bed. He entered inside, closing the door gently. He didn’t turn the light on and just went to the bed, the room dark and cold. She was covered in blanket, except her injured arm.
He looked closely at her sleeping face. The moonlight from outside making it slightly visible. He grabbed the chair and bring it closer to the bed and sat on it. For a while, all he did was staring.
He brought his warm hand and lay it on her injured hand. She stirred but didn’t wakeup. He leaned closer to her, still on the chair as he kept looking. His heart was on fire.
“I’m sorry for being .”
He grabbed her hand a little tighter at the silence but losen it immediately, thinking it might hurt her.
He brought her injured hand closer to his lips and gently kissed it. The guilt was shown on his face. He don’t no why he felt so bad about it, he just did. And it make him restless.
“I know how you feel...” He gulped the lump to avoid the tears from coming out.
“But... This is what i learn... I learn how to be cruel.” His lips trembled as it take his whole will power to stop the tears.
“Nice and weak peoples only get pushed around by the one stronger then them.”
He paused as he lowered his eyes from her face to the bed sheet. “I... I don’t want to get push around... It... I feel... I’m useless... I hate being useless...”
Finally the first tear drop from his eye on the white bed sheet. Jiyeon’s face remains calm. His other hand reach her face. He caressed her right cheek. Eyes still down on the sheet.
“I’m orphan... M-my parents abandoned me... Saying i was mistake.”
He sniffed as more tears drop down from his face, his skin cold as the room was cold, no blanket and a thin button up shirt only.
He lifted his eyes to look at her. “My neighbor were nice old couples. They gave me money and a place to live until i grow old... I... I... Didn’t have friends in school... They told me i was parentless. That i was dirty and not worth to be with them when i was only eight years old. They made fun of me and always looked down at me...”
He chuckled bitterly. It was really painful smile on his face, remembering all the ugly memories. “Peoples like you. People like you told me i was worthless. They told me i should just go and die. I thought i was really all what those people told me. I thoughts because i was worthless and useless, thats why my parents don’t want me... I should just die but i was never brave enough to hurt myself...”
He cried. A painful moan leaving his cold lips. He was hurt. Badly. “Then one day i saw them bullying a kid older then me a year. I was shocked. They would laugh at me, make fun of me and call me names but they never touch me. I saw them beating that guy. I was scared. I wanted to help him but i was s-scared... Once they left him, i went to help him. He... was a nice guy. He told me i wasn’t worthless. He was the one who told me not everyone is cruel. I start hanging with him. Others words didn’t effect me anymore as long as he was with me...”
His cries and voice got louder as he sniffed. His lips, nose and cheeks red from crying from his heart.
“But peoples like you start bullying him more and more because of me hanging with him... It hurts to see him smile when he was bruised up, bleeding yet he smiled. He always surprised me with his always bright smile afterall the suffering. He... Was also orphan. B-but his parents died... He stayed with me because of me, not because he wanted something from me... while i stayed with him because i need a friend... Not because he was being himself... I was afraid to be alone and used him... Yet he let me be... I only watched him getting hurt... Not even once did he complain to me for not helping him... instead he always tell me to run away and save myself first... I was selfish... Am still.”
At this point, the sheets were wet with his tears. He hiccupped as he let of go of Jiyeon’s hand and face, wiping his tears. “He did all that for me... Yet i don’t even remember who he is... I’m ed up... I’m useless... I hate being called useless because i’m useless... Why? Why peoples like you have to exist? Huh? Why don’t you ing answer me?!” He raised his voice at her.
Jiyeon didn’t even move afterall noises Sehun maked. She was exhausted. Her face was pale.
It become silence in the room. AC and Sehun’s whimpers were only sound in the room.
Sehun’s face was numb from cold. His eyelids getting heavier as sleep slowly welcoming him in its embrace after he let everything out of his chest. He placed his head beside Jiyeon’s shoulder, hand gripping Jiyeon’s injured hand, while the other hand on her forehead. He still sat on the chair, fall a sleep like this. Finally letting the drug to take all control of his body.
He would’ve never said all this in his right mind. It was the drug that made him say this.
Minseok peeked from the door. He stared at Sehun who was sleeping in uncomfortable position. He’ll get a sour neck, back and arms in the morning but Minseok let him be. He might wake Sehun up if he did something. Sehun seemed so tired too.
Just for tonight.
Minseok thought as he brought a blanket and placed it on cold Sehun. He’ll let it go but not next time. He can’t effort to lose Sehun because of a stupid mistake. He sighed and left the room. Helping Chorong in washing the dishes and cleaning the house. Sehun was clean freak. He can’t rest when his house is dirty. Everyday he would clean the whole house. He was use to it by now. He once said, its like a exercise for him.
“Did you clean the floor as it should?” Minseok asked Chorong.
Chorong nodded as she was mopping now. Minseok tied the apron around his waist and start washing dishes. Throwing the uneaten food in the basket. Sehun didn’t clean it in the morning because Minseok and Chorong came to take them outside. Well, i deserve it. Minseok thought bitterly as he tiredly washed. This will be happening for few days now. Him, Kyungsoo and Chorong and some other Sehun’s best friend will come over to clean the house. For Sehun only.
The sunlight shining on Jiyeon’s face made her wakeup. She opened her one eye. She rubbed her eyes with her not injured hand and looked up. Finally out of her sleep. Feeling the heavy weight beside her shoulder, she turned her face and blankly stared at Sehun’s head. She wondered what he was doing here like this but at second thought, she decided to ignore that. It wasn’t important. Nothing was important.
She looked at her bandaged hand. Slightly moving it and it end up itching. She shut down all thoughts and stared at the door infront of her. Like a dead human. Nothing matter to her at this point of her life. She just wanted to stay still with nothing around. Sehun was right, it won’t matter to anyone if she dies. Would it? No, ofcourse not. She was a burden. Nobody wanted her. Her friends must be happy, her parents who were sick of her attitude must be happy too. For sure she know.
Sehun stirred as he groaned. Probably annoyed at the sunlight and at uncomfortable position. His eyes opened slowly, dark circles around it. Feeling dizzy, he slowly sat up. Staring at Jiyeon, still not fully conscious. It was one of the side effect of heroin. He would be awake but not conscious to his surroundings. Normally people who use it frequently, they had this effect for days but because Sehun take a little amount after a really really long time, it’ll last for few hours with other side effects. Like his pupils were smaller. His mouth was dry, heart beating at a slow speed and quick movement would make him flushed up, light sensitivity, confusion and feeling of nausea.
So he kept looking at her without having any knowledge. Jiyeon didn’t bother to see him too, she kept looking infront, totally ignoring his existence.
Time passed that way until a knock was heard, which was probably ignored by the two.
Kyungsoo opened the door, and looked inside. He raised his eyebrows at the two blanked faces. Weirded out.
Last day, he saw Jiyeon when she lost consciousness and Sehun, well, Sehun was fine last night. Atleast not like he is now.
“Umm... You guys okay?” he asked but got no answer.
Slightly pouting, he stepped inside and walked further to the bed and stared at Jiyeon then at Sehun then at Jiyeon, then again at Sehun.
“Jiyeon, you okay?” He asked as he shake her body a little. Then he realised, she must be in her own mind because she hurt herself last night, she was ofcourse not okay.
Then he turn to look at Sehun and asked the same question. “Sehun, you okay?”
Nodding the head, Sehun carelessly looked at Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo frowned. He could feel Sehun wasn’t fine. He was a doctor so he had enough information about people who use drugs. Beside, Sehun use to be like this when he was drug addict. Concerned, he walked away.
Few minutes later, Minseok came with Kyungsoo, concerned as well.
Minseok grabbed Sehun’s collar to grab his attention, even if he know he’s going to get none. “Did you use drugs again? Sehun! I’m talking to you!”
Sehun staring at him, eyes not focusing on Minseok’s face yet he nodded, not even sure on what he nodded.
Minseok sighed as he let go of Sehun’s collar. "He’s drugged. This is stupid! Who gave him in the first place? He was fine when i checked him last night.”
Kyungsoo sighed tiredly. Too tired to say anything anymore. Sehun was making so much troubles these days and it was exhausting to act like it was fine. It wasn’t. He rarely got time to rest. He had to work at hospital, at Sehun’s house then at home. Back and forth. Worse fact is, Sehun live so far from the people. It was sincerely hard.
Things were never better for Minseok. He had to take care of his club then come at Sehun’s house and clean. Chorong needed his attention too even if she acted like she was fine. For god sake, they were lovers, its been a while he didn’t take her on a date, on top get his frustration on her sometimes, by beating her. He didn’t beat her purposely because he wanted to, its just happen. Not under his control. Chorong endured it even if she shouldn’t. She should be complaining but she was a nice person with a kind heart. She just loved Minseok more then anyone can think of it.
“Let Sehun sleep some more. I think in four or five or six the most, he’ll be acting normal. We don’t want a weird Sehun. Now, do we?” Kyungsoo said as he told Minseok to take Sehun to his room.
Minseok sighed irritably as he lifted Sehun’s heavy body from the chair and take him to his room.
Kyungsoo gaze at Jiyeon. “Do you need anything?” When she answerd none he sighed.
“I’ve to see your hand.” Kyungsoo said but this time didn’t waited for her to reply, she won’t reply anyway. He brought a bandage and few other stuff and closed the door.
“Why did you hurt yourself?” Kyungsoo asked gently.
Jiyeon’s expression didn’t change but she gazed at Kyungsoo.
“I’m sick of Sehun’s attitude. He always treat me like... I’m nobody... Worth of nothing... I’m sick of this treatment.” She confessed, fed up with Sehun’s treatment towards herself. She told Kyungsoo this because he was the only she was close with, after her friends and parents.
Kyungsoo nodded. He know this but he was hesitated to tell about how Sehun felt of what he did. Should he? What if she hate Sehun more?
“But he was worried, he stayed her all night.” Kyungsoo know it was lie. Yes, Sehun was worried but staying here for her? Sehun was drugged so he did something he would never do in his right mind. Yet it was a white lie.
“Oh, so now he can treat me like a trash and stay with me when i’m hurt, what is this? Are you kidding me? I’m not going to forgive him for what he did!”
Kyungsoo sighed as he sat down. She finally showed some emotions and Kyungsoo had to make sure what is annoying her so to warn Sehun about it.
“What did he do? Was he careless, again?” Softly Kyungsoo asked.
Jiyeon felt tears as she remembered how he treated her in cannibalism prison. “I... Was scared... They were human eater... We enter inside a cell... A kid... He ate raw meat and... I was disgusted... It was... It made me feel so weird... I felt like vomiting and Sehun came, he said i was making the human eater nervous and said i should stop acting... I mean i was freaking dying there! Didn’t he care enough about me?! He accused me of acting! He even called me and-and shouted at me! He even said nobody care about me and i should be grateful that, that kid cared about me. He’s-s soo bad...Kyungsoo he’s really really heartless person. He hurt my feelings so many times Kyungsoo...” Jiyeon was out of breath as she cried. She was hurt at the insensitive treatment. Sehun was a jerk and she wasn’t going to forgive him, not this time. She had enough of his dirty plays.
Kyungsoo pulled her in his arms, moving his hand up and down her back, calming her broken heart.
Really? What was Sehun thinking.
“Force him to rest. I know he’s a hard headed person so he will most probably ignore that. But please, do your best to stop him from working.” Kyungsoo said as he stared at Minseok with knowing look.
Minseok sighed. “I’ll try to do my best but you know i’ve a business to take care of so i’m not free all the time.”
Kyungsoo nodded. It was true, he would’ve volunteer to stay with Sehun himself but he’s busy himself.
“Who will do the housechores? We need to come with solution. Jiyeon is spoiled daddy’s girl so she don’t how to do anything, not like she’s in any good condition.”
Both fall into silence. Thinking what should they do. Minseok can only stay for a day and a maid coming here means exposing Sehun’s where about to the world, which they’ve to avoid.
“How about GD? I think he’s on his vacation so maybe we should talk with him to take care of Sehun, Jiyeon and the house for few days.” Minseok helplessely muttered.
Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow. “You know what you’re talking about? It GD for god sake. He’s a number one lazy human and beside he’s such a ert who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Remember he’s biual. Beside once i heard him saying he wanted to taste Sehun. Sehun isn’t ready to defend himself either if he tried to do something, let alone save Jiyeon. GD isn’t someone we can come and play with then life happily ever after.”
Minseok’s jaw dropped.
“You’re overthinking.” was what Minseok could say.
Kyungsoo chuckled lightly in embarrassment. “Okay i might have thought too much but still its GD... He likes to make trouble...”
“GD might be but he know his limits beside he’s friend of mine. Sehun is old enough to beat the crap out of him if he tried to do something. Sehun is mentally vulnerable, not physically. Why you made him sound like a fragile girl needed a knight to be saved. If anything, Sehun is the knight.” Minseok tried to persuade that GD wasn’t a bad option.
“Would you let him alone with Chorong?” Kyungsoo asked challenging.
Minseok groaned. “Chorong is a girl. Sehun is a big man.”
“But GD don’t find any difference. He like both male and female so he i can’t trust him for Sehun. Sehun is like a baby to m-”
Minseok gasped in offending manner. “So you’re saying a baby can kidnap a young girl just for fun? To see her get hurt?! SEHUN ISN’T BABY!! HE’S ING GROWN UP MAN YOU DIMWIT!!”
Kyungsoo stood up and throw his arms in the air. “SAY WHAT YOU WANT, SEHUN WILL STAY MY BABY FOREVER! I take care of him when he needed someone beside him so who the hell are you to interrupt between us?! HE’S MY BABY AND THATS FINAL!!!”
Kyungsoo screamed his lungs out.
It was silence with Minseok frightened.
Hesitatingly Minseok muttered. “But he is twenty three-”
“AARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Kyungsoo screamed like a gorilla and walked away.
Minseok eyes were widened. Did he say something wrong? Kyungsoo looked so pissed off.
Minseok shrugged and followed Kyungsoo to Sehun’s room.
Kyungsoo glared at him sassily and hushed him. He knocked then lightly opened it.
Sehun’s back was placed on the soft pillow, on the headboard. He was staring blankly, nowhere exactly. His eyes seemed so empty. He didn’t even move his head to the door when Kyungsoo and Minseok came in.
“Sehun... Do you feel okay?” Kyungsoo asked softly, standing closer to the bed.
Sehun slowly turned to look at Kyungsoo then shook his head.
“I feel like a crap. A loser. Coward. Useless. I feel i should’ve died in that accident.” Sehun spoke those words with broken voice.
Kyungsoo frowned. “Why are you saying this?! Do you ever consider our feelings? I... So i saved you for nothing that day?! Till today i’m watching you doing dirty deeds with hand on hand, acting like i don’t no anything when police ask me. Hiding the people who you kill, always on your aid and whoever you want me to aid?! I put effort into those things just because i care for you like a younger brother and yet you come and say you should’ve died?! Unbelievable.” Kyungsoo snapped at Sehun.
Sehun looked down at his lap in shame. Sehun wasn’t the one to show emotions. But to his best friends, he’s defeated. He don’t feel the need to hide his emotions. They weren’t the one to judge him.
“I-it hurts.” muttered Sehun.
Minseok decided to interrupt this time. He climb on the bed and sat infront of Sehun. “What hurts?”
Sehun looked at Minseok. “The guy... In my memories... I didn’t fight for him... I let him get hurt... And now i don’t even know who he is. Its just frustrating. I was at the verge of forgetting him! But she made me remember all that... She made me... Its unfair... Why?” Sehun low down his face again. Few tears slipping down which Minseok wiped it for him as he pulled the tall in guy in hug.
“Maybe thats a sign that you shouldn’t give up on that guy. Maybe that guy still needs you. Its good you remembered something. The only thing you need to remember is now whose that guy. You’ll, with time you’ll.”
After few minutes Sehun looked up again at Kyungsoo and Minseok. “Do you think maybe Mr Park know about him?”
Kyungsoo shook his head. “If he know about him, he would rather take him as hostage then, to keep your mouth shut instead of sending someone to kill you. Or better, do what you did to his daughter.”
Minseok nodded, agreeing with Kyungsoo. “He’s right. By the way, this Jiyeon is the same girl you ruined her face before right?”
Sehun nodded.
“So this beautiful face is plastic surgery?” Minseok asked shocked.
Sehun raised his eyebrows. “I never give it a thought before. I think it is plastic surgery.”
Kyungsoo shook his head in disappointment. “Does Jiyeon know it was you? No wonder her father send peoples to kill you. You were . Wait- you ARE .” Kyungsoo emphasized the 'are' word.
Sehun shook his head. “If she remembered, she would’ve hated me from the start for different reasons not because i was strick. Beside when i throw it at her face, she was looking down then she start shouting. My face was hidden with mask too.”
“I’ll be going. Don’t work. Let Jiyeon rest too.” Kyungsoo immediately said, wanting to see Jiyeon’s face. He walked out, not realizing his words made Sehun all gloomy.
Kyungsoo went to Jiyeon’s room. She was sleeping with her hand all bandaged. Her chest gently rising and falling.
Kyungsoo looks closely at her face, trying to see any traces of plastic surgery. He ended up sighing. Her father must have hired the best doctor out there to hide the knife work because he could see none... Or this was her natural beauty and Sehun did some mistake in whatever he throw at her, or maybe he ruined somewhere else instead of her face then. Anything could happened.
Were they destined to meet?
Kyungsoo wondered.
“Sehun, i’ve to talk to you about Jiyeon.” Minseok seriously said. Sehun just looked at him.
“Don’t you think you’re too harsh with her. Why are you doing this? Do you want to make her like yourself? Tell me, Sehun. Say something.”
Sehun closed his eyes tiredly, annoying headache coming as he remembered her bleeding arm. “I don’t no. I was mad at her for trying to run away when i was being nice. I lost control.”
Minseok shook his head. “No Sehun. You can’t use that excuse of being out of control. Stop this. Man up and take responsibilities.”
Sehun looked up. “I don’t no what to do. You want me to be honest? Yes, i almost wanted to kill her there with the man who helped her... I just changed my mind... I don’t no why i did that. Its stupid and ridiculous. I’m being a pathetic idiot.”
Minseok listened. He would have loved to say Sehun was changing but not for good. He was lettings his guards down for a girl. He feels like Sehun has something for her. Minseok has to stop that. Jiyeon had to go away before Sehun could fall for her. If Sehun fall for her, Sehun’s enemies will use her to get Sehun. This way it would be dangerous for both of them. He treat Sehun like a family and no way he would let that happen. Sehun and Jiyeon both are from different worlds. They can’t live with each other without difficulties. Being with Sehun means all kind of danger. Being with Jiyeon mean... Sehun has to change his entire self. Thats why this isn’t right for them to be together. Minseok concluded.
“You need rest. And its better if you keep distance from her. This way you won’t hurt her.”
And won’t fall in love with her either.
Sehun listened. He just didn’t like the way Minseok said it. Was Minseok commanding him? Did Minseok thought he was stupid who will destroy everything? Sehun frowned at the thought. No one has rights to think about him like this but only himself.
“I’ll be going for now. Will come to check on you at night. Rest for now.”
Sehun was left alone as Minseok left. He sighed loudly. His headache was getting worse. He clutched it tightly in his hands as he lay flat on the bed. Trying his best to ignore the thinking of the blurry person in his memories.
Few minutes later when it didn’t stop, he sat down with pained expressions. His eyes went to the drawer of his medicines. He just wanted to end the pain. He slowly got up on his weak feet and walked to the drawer. His posture that was always perfect wasn’t anymore.
Once he opened the drawer, his eyes didn’t landed on the medicines. It was the drug that he stared with longing eyes. He didn’t needed it for a long time until today. Shaking hand grabbed the box filled with white powder.
He stared deeply at the drug called heroin. Knowing he’ll regret later, he hesitated. It was like a friend for him whenever he couldn’t come over the pain, whether physical or emotional. He use to be drug addict after the accident where he lost his memories. But once his health become so worse that he was between life and death. He survived but after that, his friends take all the drugs he had in his house. It was painful, Sehun start killing after that. He tortured others for his frustration. Then he find the same pleasure in killing. Yet he hide the one box from his friends, incase things get worse for him. And here he was, staring at the poison.
Slowly he walked back to the bed and sat at the edge, staring at the drug. Still not sure if he should use it. Was it worth it? Was it worth risking his life for a ridiculous pain and a stupid blurry guy?
Just then extreme pain shot through his head, making him whimper. He was used to pain and all but he could never get use to this pain whatever he tried. He loved pain but not this one.
This was the trigger as he sniff the powder and put a very little amount of it in his tongue. Once he tasted it, it taste so good that Sehun felt like wanting more. He know it would harm him so he immediately get up and put the box in drawer.
He felt his pain reducing. Slowly his breathing start slowing down too. His mind calming down. As the amount was less, it didn’t make him out of his body control. He just felt the pain leaving him. His messed up thoughts leaving him away.
The only thing stayed was Jiyeon. Her blood filled arm. He wondered was she fine now? Did kyungsoo took care of her? He thought to check up on her, nothing much, just checking her up. Afterall she’s his responsibility. Minseok said so.
This was excuse to make himself feel better.
He personally was worried.
He get up, his vision not cleared as his felt so sleepy. He wanted to sleep but his mind and heart couldn’t let him.
Slowly, trying to balance his body he walked to the door. Opening it gently then closing behind him. The hallway seemed so large but he needed to see her. It was all he wanted to do.
Once he reach her room, he opened it and peek inside. She was sleeping peacefully on the bed. He entered inside, closing the door gently. He didn’t turn the light on and just went to the bed, the room dark and cold. She was covered in blanket, except her injured arm.
He looked closely at her sleeping face. The moonlight from outside making it slightly visible. He grabbed the chair and bring it closer to the bed and sat on it. For a while, all he did was staring.
He brought his warm hand and lay it on her injured hand. She stirred but didn’t wakeup. He leaned closer to her, still on the chair as he kept looking. His heart was on fire.
“I’m sorry for being .”
He grabbed her hand a little tighter at the silence but losen it immediately, thinking it might hurt her.
He brought her injured hand closer to his lips and gently kissed it. The guilt was shown on his face. He don’t no why he felt so bad about it, he just did. And it make him restless.
“I know how you feel...” He gulped the lump to avoid the tears from coming out.
“But... This is what i learn... I learn how to be cruel.” His lips trembled as it take his whole will power to stop the tears.
“Nice and weak peoples only get pushed around by the one stronger then them.”
He paused as he lowered his eyes from her face to the bed sheet. “I... I don’t want to get push around... It... I feel... I’m useless... I hate being useless...”
Finally the first tear drop from his eye on the white bed sheet. Jiyeon’s face remains calm. His other hand reach her face. He caressed her right cheek. Eyes still down on the sheet.
“I’m orphan... M-my parents abandoned me... Saying i was mistake.”
He sniffed as more tears drop down from his face, his skin cold as the room was cold, no blanket and a thin button up shirt only.
He lifted his eyes to look at her. “My neighbor were nice old couples. They gave me money and a place to live until i grow old... I... I... Didn’t have friends in school... They told me i was parentless. That i was dirty and not worth to be with them when i was only eight years old. They made fun of me and always looked down at me...”
He chuckled bitterly. It was really painful smile on his face, remembering all the ugly memories. “Peoples like you. People like you told me i was worthless. They told me i should just go and die. I thought i was really all what those people told me. I thoughts because i was worthless and useless, thats why my parents don’t want me... I should just die but i was never brave enough to hurt myself...”
He cried. A painful moan leaving his cold lips. He was hurt. Badly. “Then one day i saw them bullying a kid older then me a year. I was shocked. They would laugh at me, make fun of me and call me names but they never touch me. I saw them beating that guy. I was scared. I wanted to help him but i was s-scared... Once they left him, i went to help him. He... was a nice guy. He told me i wasn’t worthless. He was the one who told me not everyone is cruel. I start hanging with him. Others words didn’t effect me anymore as long as he was with me...”
His cries and voice got louder as he sniffed. His lips, nose and cheeks red from crying from his heart.
“But peoples like you start bullying him more and more because of me hanging with him... It hurts to see him smile when he was bruised up, bleeding yet he smiled. He always surprised me with his always bright smile afterall the suffering. He... Was also orphan. B-but his parents died... He stayed with me because of me, not because he wanted something from me... while i stayed with him because i need a friend... Not because he was being himself... I was afraid to be alone and used him... Yet he let me be... I only watched him getting hurt... Not even once did he complain to me for not helping him... instead he always tell me to run away and save myself first... I was selfish... Am still.”
At this point, the sheets were wet with his tears. He hiccupped as he let of go of Jiyeon’s hand and face, wiping his tears. “He did all that for me... Yet i don’t even remember who he is... I’m ed up... I’m useless... I hate being called useless because i’m useless... Why? Why peoples like you have to exist? Huh? Why don’t you ing answer me?!” He raised his voice at her.
Jiyeon didn’t even move afterall noises Sehun maked. She was exhausted. Her face was pale.
It become silence in the room. AC and Sehun’s whimpers were only sound in the room.
Sehun’s face was numb from cold. His eyelids getting heavier as sleep slowly welcoming him in its embrace after he let everything out of his chest. He placed his head beside Jiyeon’s shoulder, hand gripping Jiyeon’s injured hand, while the other hand on her forehead. He still sat on the chair, fall a sleep like this. Finally letting the drug to take all control of his body.
He would’ve never said all this in his right mind. It was the drug that made him say this.
Minseok peeked from the door. He stared at Sehun who was sleeping in uncomfortable position. He’ll get a sour neck, back and arms in the morning but Minseok let him be. He might wake Sehun up if he did something. Sehun seemed so tired too.
Just for tonight.
Minseok thought as he brought a blanket and placed it on cold Sehun. He’ll let it go but not next time. He can’t effort to lose Sehun because of a stupid mistake. He sighed and left the room. Helping Chorong in washing the dishes and cleaning the house. Sehun was clean freak. He can’t rest when his house is dirty. Everyday he would clean the whole house. He was use to it by now. He once said, its like a exercise for him.
“Did you clean the floor as it should?” Minseok asked Chorong.
Chorong nodded as she was mopping now. Minseok tied the apron around his waist and start washing dishes. Throwing the uneaten food in the basket. Sehun didn’t clean it in the morning because Minseok and Chorong came to take them outside. Well, i deserve it. Minseok thought bitterly as he tiredly washed. This will be happening for few days now. Him, Kyungsoo and Chorong and some other Sehun’s best friend will come over to clean the house. For Sehun only.
The sunlight shining on Jiyeon’s face made her wakeup. She opened her one eye. She rubbed her eyes with her not injured hand and looked up. Finally out of her sleep. Feeling the heavy weight beside her shoulder, she turned her face and blankly stared at Sehun’s head. She wondered what he was doing here like this but at second thought, she decided to ignore that. It wasn’t important. Nothing was important.
She looked at her bandaged hand. Slightly moving it and it end up itching. She shut down all thoughts and stared at the door infront of her. Like a dead human. Nothing matter to her at this point of her life. She just wanted to stay still with nothing around. Sehun was right, it won’t matter to anyone if she dies. Would it? No, ofcourse not. She was a burden. Nobody wanted her. Her friends must be happy, her parents who were sick of her attitude must be happy too. For sure she know.
Sehun stirred as he groaned. Probably annoyed at the sunlight and at uncomfortable position. His eyes opened slowly, dark circles around it. Feeling dizzy, he slowly sat up. Staring at Jiyeon, still not fully conscious. It was one of the side effect of heroin. He would be awake but not conscious to his surroundings. Normally people who use it frequently, they had this effect for days but because Sehun take a little amount after a really really long time, it’ll last for few hours with other side effects. Like his pupils were smaller. His mouth was dry, heart beating at a slow speed and quick movement would make him flushed up, light sensitivity, confusion and feeling of nausea.
So he kept looking at her without having any knowledge. Jiyeon didn’t bother to see him too, she kept looking infront, totally ignoring his existence.
Time passed that way until a knock was heard, which was probably ignored by the two.
Kyungsoo opened the door, and looked inside. He raised his eyebrows at the two blanked faces. Weirded out.
Last day, he saw Jiyeon when she lost consciousness and Sehun, well, Sehun was fine last night. Atleast not like he is now.
“Umm... You guys okay?” he asked but got no answer.
Slightly pouting, he stepped inside and walked further to the bed and stared at Jiyeon then at Sehun then at Jiyeon, then again at Sehun.
“Jiyeon, you okay?” He asked as he shake her body a little. Then he realised, she must be in her own mind because she hurt herself last night, she was ofcourse not okay.
Then he turn to look at Sehun and asked the same question. “Sehun, you okay?”
Nodding the head, Sehun carelessly looked at Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo frowned. He could feel Sehun wasn’t fine. He was a doctor so he had enough information about people who use drugs. Beside, Sehun use to be like this when he was drug addict. Concerned, he walked away.
Few minutes later, Minseok came with Kyungsoo, concerned as well.
Minseok grabbed Sehun’s collar to grab his attention, even if he know he’s going to get none. “Did you use drugs again? Sehun! I’m talking to you!”
Sehun staring at him, eyes not focusing on Minseok’s face yet he nodded, not even sure on what he nodded.
Minseok sighed as he let go of Sehun’s collar. "He’s drugged. This is stupid! Who gave him in the first place? He was fine when i checked him last night.”
Kyungsoo sighed tiredly. Too tired to say anything anymore. Sehun was making so much troubles these days and it was exhausting to act like it was fine. It wasn’t. He rarely got time to rest. He had to work at hospital, at Sehun’s house then at home. Back and forth. Worse fact is, Sehun live so far from the people. It was sincerely hard.
Things were never better for Minseok. He had to take care of his club then come at Sehun’s house and clean. Chorong needed his attention too even if she acted like she was fine. For god sake, they were lovers, its been a while he didn’t take her on a date, on top get his frustration on her sometimes, by beating her. He didn’t beat her purposely because he wanted to, its just happen. Not under his control. Chorong endured it even if she shouldn’t. She should be complaining but she was a nice person with a kind heart. She just loved Minseok more then anyone can think of it.
“Let Sehun sleep some more. I think in four or five or six the most, he’ll be acting normal. We don’t want a weird Sehun. Now, do we?” Kyungsoo said as he told Minseok to take Sehun to his room.
Minseok sighed irritably as he lifted Sehun’s heavy body from the chair and take him to his room.
Kyungsoo gaze at Jiyeon. “Do you need anything?” When she answerd none he sighed.
“I’ve to see your hand.” Kyungsoo said but this time didn’t waited for her to reply, she won’t reply anyway. He brought a bandage and few other stuff and closed the door.
“Why did you hurt yourself?” Kyungsoo asked gently.
Jiyeon’s expression didn’t change but she gazed at Kyungsoo.
“I’m sick of Sehun’s attitude. He always treat me like... I’m nobody... Worth of nothing... I’m sick of this treatment.” She confessed, fed up with Sehun’s treatment towards herself. She told Kyungsoo this because he was the only she was close with, after her friends and parents.
Kyungsoo nodded. He know this but he was hesitated to tell about how Sehun felt of what he did. Should he? What if she hate Sehun more?
“But he was worried, he stayed her all night.” Kyungsoo know it was lie. Yes, Sehun was worried but staying here for her? Sehun was drugged so he did something he would never do in his right mind. Yet it was a white lie.
“Oh, so now he can treat me like a trash and stay with me when i’m hurt, what is this? Are you kidding me? I’m not going to forgive him for what he did!”
Kyungsoo sighed as he sat down. She finally showed some emotions and Kyungsoo had to make sure what is annoying her so to warn Sehun about it.
“What did he do? Was he careless, again?” Softly Kyungsoo asked.
Jiyeon felt tears as she remembered how he treated her in cannibalism prison. “I... Was scared... They were human eater... We enter inside a cell... A kid... He ate raw meat and... I was disgusted... It was... It made me feel so weird... I felt like vomiting and Sehun came, he said i was making the human eater nervous and said i should stop acting... I mean i was freaking dying there! Didn’t he care enough about me?! He accused me of acting! He even called me and-and shouted at me! He even said nobody care about me and i should be grateful that, that kid cared about me. He’s-s soo bad...Kyungsoo he’s really really heartless person. He hurt my feelings so many times Kyungsoo...” Jiyeon was out of breath as she cried. She was hurt at the insensitive treatment. Sehun was a jerk and she wasn’t going to forgive him, not this time. She had enough of his dirty plays.
Kyungsoo pulled her in his arms, moving his hand up and down her back, calming her broken heart.
Really? What was Sehun thinking.
Another update.
Hope you guys
like it. And Sehun’s
childhood is
revealed :) its
not really good
but thats it. And
can you kind of
guess Mr Park
and Sehun’s
relationship?
Mr Park was the
one who send
man to kill Sehun
and Sehun ruining
Jiyeon’s face
even before all
this. Well, i’ve
planned it all
before... I was
wondering, is
the story rushed?
Is it going too fast?
I think sometimes
its too slow
sometimes its
going too fast...
i’m not sure...
Thanks for subscribing, commenting and voting, i appreciate that ^^
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