[JIYEON’S POV]

I was up all night thinking whether it was true or not. Last night’s moment was still printed onto my mind – which somehow wouldn’t fade away and kept on rewinding like a video that’s on loop for hours now. My veins felt like got electrified when Hyomin leaned closer and touched my lips. That it felt like her warm transferred to mine, and I was wondering if I ever did breathe for I was too shock since it was too sudden that it was unexpected act to happened.

[FLASHBACK]

“Hyo..Hyomin….” I called out her name, my eyes widened.

Hyomin felt like she got startled by her sudden act, and I’m here waiting for her to say something. To think I’ve forgotten all the pain I endured because of that, now I’m mess up.

“This shouldn’t happened..” Hyomin stood up as if saying that didn’t happened, “since you’re absent for 3 days, I hope you don’t mind catching up the lessons you missed with me tomorrow.”

She looked away, wouldn’t look on me straight. The brunette was about to go when suddenly I found my courage to held her hand and maybe stop her to ask why she did that to me.

“Hyomin do you perhaps..”

“Let’s go home now, it’s late.”

Hyomin continued leaving away from me. I feel like she was afraid to say what she really meant by that kiss..

“Why did you do that?” I ask, still hoping I could receive an honest answer from her.

But to my disappointment, she wouldn’t reply. That for some reason I feel like there’s this little hope for this desire – this desire that turning to flames.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

“Hey!”

I lifted up my head for my mom tapped my shoulder wondering what I was thinking, maybe?

“You’re completely different from these past 3 days…” she looked on me, judging, crossing her arms like I just caught red handed.

“What different?” I ask, sipping on my fresh milk, “anyway, I thought of doing something different on Christmas day – “

“Don’t change the topic.” Mother insists.

“What?”

She sat right in front of me curving her lips. Giving me that questionable look like she was a detective asking me for evidences. For evidence of why I’m acting strange?

“You were so quiet and very gloomy that I had observed, but now you’re completely different, very charming. Why is that?”

I giggled and continued eating my breakfast. I laughed again as I glimpse of her giving me that worried look.

“Has my daughter obtained mental illness?”

Bursting to laughter, I almost got choke up and almost spit the food from my mouth for that.

“Mom!” I muttered, pouting.

“Are you hiding something from me?”

I shook my head and continued eating. As if like she’s going to read my mind, so I wouldn’t worried about that. I’ll keep all the happiness I felt inside without sharing, though somehow blurry, I couldn’t just avoid feeling satisfied by that kiss from Hyomin.

Since it was weekend and mom told me to not go out, I wasted my time sitting on our cozy couch as I watch some movie while waiting for Hyomin. My mom went to her business and my dad has a meeting for their company. I’m here alone eating strawberries and never miss a chance to glimpse at my phone, might receive a message from her and I wouldn’t waste any time to not reply.

I didn’t really give that much attention on the movie, since I was still thinking of what will she say about last night. I couldn’t just let this away knowing she can’t just do that without any reason – I do believe that wasn’t just nothing.

After a few more minutes, I can now hear someone knocks at the main door. I know it’s her, my expected guest.

I went my way at the main door and making sure I look good before I jiggled the door knob and open it to see her.

“Hi..” I greeted with a charming yet sheepish smile.

Hyomin won’t look at me unlike she would before – I guess she doesn’t want to see me after that night. I let her in and ask her to sit on the couch for I haven’t prepared my papers, notebooks and books that are needed. She would just nod and started to pull out her books and notes, she was really serious when she said she’ll help me catch up with our lessons.

“Do you want to eat something?” I ask her, well she’s my guest that needed to accompany with, “mom prepared fruit sandwiches earlier.”

Hyomin nodded.

I stare at her checking her notes and the books’ pages she needed to explain. She wrote something on her notebook and went back to book’s pages with some highlighted words and paragraphs on it. I slowly went my way to kitchen and grab the sandwiches I told her, we could, or at least eat something while listening to her. For that, I feel like she’s becoming my private tutor now.

“Do you want orange juice or?”

“I’m fine with water.” she replied, with that expressionless look I had witness before.

Hyomin discuss few lessons to me and gave me a 10 items questionnaire to answer. It was fill-in-the-blanks – and I hate fill in the blanks the most. Not to mention essays, glad she didn’t made one and let me write 5 paragraphs and think of words for it. The brunette is slightly being strict today, we almost took an hour and a half explaining and answering nonstop. This makes me crazy; I should have just attended school for those 3 days instead. Well I’m happy today. I’m happy that she’s here with me, helping. But somehow I feel like she was just forced to since I know she don’t want to see nor talk to me because of what had happened that night.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Hyomin finally converse, I get startled by it a bit.

“I ah..” I cleared my throat,

I opened my mouth to say something but ended up close it since, well, she doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Thank you.” instead, I thanked her for doing this.

The girl in front nodded again. I wanted to talk to her but it was way too awkward – very awkward. I actually remember I asked her to keep our friendship that night and I think that’s the reason why she’s here with me. But then again I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, that somehow I feel like wanting to ask her that but I’m sure enough she would reply irrelevant things like she did before.

But I really wanted to know, she left me that night clueless and bewildered.

“C-can I ask you something?” finally I ask.

Hyomin, would just look at me with her brows raising.

“I was wondering if…” I looked down, “you know, about what you did that night?” I glimpse at her and gaze at my paper which contains questions I haven’t done answering yet.

I observe her reaction, anticipating for her answer. She cleared and started to write something on her notebook without saying anything. I don’t know but I see her cheeks turns red and look down to maybe avoid for me seeing it. Did she just blush?

“Hyomin?”

“It was nothing..”

Hyomin won’t look at me, but I am here gazing at her lovingly, unconditionally.

I leaned my chin on my palm while looking at her – I couldn’t just look away since I love this feeling I’m feeling right now. I wanted to hold her hand and say how much she really means to me, but I tried to not do so since I don’t want to pressure Hyomin.

“Why would a kiss be nothing?” I feel like I’m torturing her asking persistently.

The girl in front finally look on me, did shrug a little bit indicating she doesn’t know too.

“I don’t have an idea..” she replied, “we shouldn’t talk about this. You should continue answering now,”

“Answer me first.”

“Jiyeon,” Hyomin sigh, “just please answer the questions on your paper”

I did smile. I can see she is struggling, I guess I need to stop if she doesn’t want to say what she really wants to say. But instead of working on the little test she had gave, I enjoyed gazing at her since I loved to stare at blushing Hyomin – and a very shy Hyomin I haven’t get to see before.

“Did I just told you to not look at me like that?”

Our lovely staring moment got interrupted when someone opened the main door as she comes in. It was my mom, carrying plastic bags with goods in it.

“I’m home!”

My beautiful mom smiled seeing my friend did the same too. They got close since Hyomin lived her for days, that they have some similarities which lead them to understand each other. Mom placed all the goods on the table, asking us if we had eaten yet so she could prepare something. The smart girl shook her head saying she’s full but since my mom don’t want her to leave without taking a meal, she don’t have a choice but to wait and eat dinner together with my family.

I thought mom knew I skipped classes for days but she didn’t mention any about school, I think Hyomin didn’t tell her. I’m safe now, I wouldn’t worry seeking for excuses about why.

The day went well, I thought I couldn’t get any chance to have a conversation with Hyomin today. My parents were thankful and impress by Hyomin about what she had done, and she’s capable of. Dad even ask if I found any place to live in nearby university, I couldn’t answer him since I didn’t really start searching for some until they want me to or they would do it themselves.

“I’ll take you home,” I suggested, I always get declined whenever I say this to her,

“You don’t have to. Besides I have somewhere to go-”

“I’ll go with you.” I pipe in.

Hyomin look on me with her furrowed brows. We were outside waiting for a cab and I’m here willing to join her, well I just wanted to know where she lives.

“It’s cold, you’re not supposed to go outside for hours.”

“So are you planning to be outside for hours?”

The brunette sigh, she looked like hopeless.

“I just want to know where you live so I can visit.” I said frankly, never did I imagine I can be this too persistent towards her.

“Fine, couldn’t do anything about it.”

Right after Hyomin called a cab so she could go to somewhere she wanted, but with me. I enjoyed this day being with her, to think just by sitting next beside her made me happy like this, how much more if I’ll able to know what she wants to say to me. I’ll leave it that way, maybe she needs more time.

The cab stop and she went out first – I look outside and saw green gate. I can see there are divided rooms in that big house, now I know where she lives so I won’t bother asks her over and over again about this.

“Please send this girl back to..”

I heard her asking the driver to send me back to my house. Without any doubt, I quickly went out from the cab and told the driver to just go without me.

“What are you doing?” she ask, curving her lips downwards.

I try to familiarize the place so I won’t get lose if I ever want to go here, on next day or visit days. Now I look at her and smiled, her expression was very opposite to mine.

“I guess I have to go now,” I said meekly,

I waved my hands at her as I waited for her to get inside. Hyomin’s strolling away towards the gate, presses the button to let the landlady know she just came. I put my hands in my jacket’s pocket and remembered a thing – the girl wasn’t wearing a scarf I had gave, last time I saw it was when she used that scarf to cover the poor puppy that needed help.

“Hyomin!” I called her name,

I went my way closer to her, stripped the scarf and put it on her. She was looking at me quietly, the same way as she did when I first put some scarf on her before.

“Please dress more warmly” I reminded, “and do not catch a cold.”

Hyomin smiled and nodded, it was enough for me to leave. I stroll away leaving her so I could call a cab again to go home. The more I stayed longer with her the happier I am. Regardless of the things that are left unsaid and the actions that hasn’t given any explanation yet, I am satisfied now and did not regret telling her I love her. Though confuse, I am still hoping she feel the same way.

I paused and turn back to see Hyomin again. She was still waiting for the gate to be opened. I take steps going to her position and I can clearly see she’s questioning herself about why and wondering what I’m going to say or do this time. As a sweet goodbye and to wish her goodnight and sweet dreams, I kiss her cheek very quick even I know I’ll get embarrassed about it after.

“Goodnight.”

The next day came and as expected, we always end up having this awkward look and conversation. Luckily Eunjung and Boram didn’t suspected any, they might think we fought so we tried our best to be as the usual we were. It was hard. It was hard to the point Hyomin wouldn’t tease me as much as she does, that we don’t share bottled water anymore and meals unlike before. I feel like we just became strangers again to each other, so I tried, at least to treat her the way I did when we were friends.

Wait we’re still friends right?

Somehow I feel like there’s this sudden wall between us, I don’t know how to break it. I still wanted to know why and very curious about that kiss. I hope I’ll get an honest answer soon.

~~~

Author’s note: I tried to make a very cheesy moment but I guess I failed haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading and thanks a lot for the comments! And oops! I just got to share this GIF file if you haven’t seen this before, minyeon looks so adorable together as always *sobs*