[JIYEON’S POV]

I’m looking at my reflection – couldn’t really behave myself for I had been waiting for 2 hours just to get a new hairstyle. My mom was on the other rolling chair, reading some magazine as she was having her hair spa for a bit. I joined my mom here because she wanted me to, well – actually I force her to come with me since I really wanted to get that hairstyle I want to try myself on.

 

“How do you want your hair cut to be done, miss?” the hair stylist asked, hovering her hair cutting shears as she was checking on my brown hair.

 

“Just cut it till on shoulder,” I replied, “and I want cute fringe too.”

 

The hair stylist started her job, doing as what I told her to do so. I feel like I’m insane smiling looking at my reflection, since I kept on remembering that words came from accidentally.

 

“Why do you want to cut your hair? Last time I remembered you don’t even want anyone to touch your hair..” my mom at the other side, asked me curiously.

 

“Well uh – “ I had thought of a very not obvious answer, “I just wanted to have a new look?”

 

“Really? What came up to my daughter’s mind to have that thought?”

 

“Ha ha! Your daughter just wanted to look pretty.” I convey confidently, giggling.

 

“Why? Who said you’re not pretty?” my mom furrowed her brows, putting the magazine at rest.

 

“Am I pretty?”

 

“You are beyond pretty. Even if you don’t do anything, you’re perfectly beyond pretty.”

 

I wrinkled my nose, happy for my mother’s compliment. She would always say I’m pretty, yeah I know I’m pretty, but I wanted to make sure I looked like one in front of that person. I heard Hyomin likes girls with short hair till on shoulder, and with a fringe. And somehow, I’m thankful for that Eunjung asking her several questions that time, it was a help for me. Looking at myself right now, after my hair cut had done, how I wish Hyomin will like the Jiyeon with this new hairstyle, the hairstyle she liked the most.

 

Putting my jacket on and scarf back to go out from the salon, having this satisfied feeling since the others told me I suited with this hair style.  I called my dad for him to drive us to home, and it’s already 7 in the evening so he probably was off to work now. We were waiting for him to come and as we waited, I grab my phone from my pocket and press the camera icon before lifting it on to take a selca.

 

“Are you going to post that on SNS?” my mom asked, still with her curiosity.

 

“Uhmm nope!” I shook my head slightly, “just wanted to take a shot of me.”

 

My mother, whose not comfortable looking at me being like this, turned her head on me as she flicks my arm with her elbow.

 

“Is my daughter having infatuation to one of those students in your school?” raising her brows, looking at me like that, I laughed a little as I can’t take her expression.

 

“Mom!” I laughed again, “so when you get a new hairstyle means you’re having an infatuation to someone?”

 

“That must be one of your reasons,” she pouted, how cute, “then mind if you tell me who made my daughter’s heart flutters?” then giving me that smirk I know what’s behind.

 

I rolled my eyes and fixed my sight on my phone. Scrolling down on my gallery, I paused seeing Hyomin’s picture smiling with a beautiful flower tuck on her right ear. I could clearly remember how I got hypnotize by those smile and eye smile, the way she touch my cheeks and the way she look at me back. The way my heart beats so fast that I don’t even know how to calm it down, and the way I felt those warm. I don’t know when I started liking her, but the important thing is I do really like her. I just did.

 

The next day came and I’m on a bus on my way to school. I was on the last row of the seats, near the window as I loved being here. Started my morning with a smile, I couldn’t stop thinking what my mom told me earlier.

 

“You’re really blooming today..”

 

I giggled reminiscing that. I could only smile all the way like a retarded jerk hallucinating impossible things. I never thought Hyomin will give this kind of impact to me – who would’ve thought? She has this very ‘I don’t care look’ when I first saw her. She has this ‘mind your own businesses’ through the look on her eyes. It was as if she only cares about herself but she’s not. I know I haven’t explored her life from why she’s here and why she is today, but I’ll confidently say she’s beautiful at heart.

 

My thoughts got interrupted since the bus had stop. Some passengers came in and one girl with a cool blue beanie sat right next to me. I didn’t really give that much attention, but the girl next to me spoke out and it made me turn my head to her since I know that familiar voice so much.

 

“Jiyeon?”

 

“Oh..” I paused, “Soyeon?”

 

The cuter curved her lips after realizing she was right. I smiled back at her and right then giving me that confuse look and I think I do know why.

 

“Nice hairstyle.” she convey, “had thought for a change?”

 

“Not really. Just to have a maybe, a better look.”

 

Soyeon blinked her eyes trice, which was really cute.

 

“But you are, aren’t you?”

 

I showed a small smile before setting my sight to the side window. It was really awkward to talk to her before, but now I don’t know why. Glad I didn’t bring pink rose today, ah! I planned on not giving one anymore. That day was the last, and I don’t mind giving some or any letters for encouragements anymore. Not because I don’t like her now, but because I know it’s for the better.

 

“Sorry for being rude that day, I was not really in the mood.” Soyeon started again, looking down pressing her pass code on her iPhone.

 

“For what?”

 

“You forgot already? The day you saw me crying – yeah I was actually crying that night.”

 

Ah.. So she was talking about that night. Well I don’t really mind that now.

 

“Feelings just carried me away and I can’t hold it back.” she smiled again.

 

“Don’t mind. It was my mistake intruding you.”

 

We talked a little about things at school and went in to campus together. The guards greeted us warmly although it was really cold. I went my way to my classroom and bid some goodbyes to Soyeon, now I can call friend and thanking myself for having peace of mind.

 

Right straight to my room, I found no Hyomin. I waited for like 10 minutes but she’s not here again. I wanted to show off what’s new to me today and I really do hope she’ll like it. I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I hope this day would be great.

 

The rest of my classmates went in, 20 minutes later and our class will start soon. Eunjung and Boram were beside me and chattered a lot on what happened to them during weekends and such. They praised me too; they even said I’m cute with this hair style. I smiled as saying thank you to them, I’ll get really shy when someone praised me.

 

Sitting here alone waiting for my friend, my love, Hyomin, I grab my little notebook from my backpack and wrote something on it. I don’t know what came up with my mind of a sudden – but I literally wrote four capital letters on it.

 

L O V E

 

It was the word I kept on thinking since the day I realize I have these feelings for her. And I’ll be gladly happy if it’ll come beyond to that.

 

And so, I continued writing..

 

H Y O M I N

“Good morning Hyomin!”

 

I startled a bit as I quickly closed my notebook after hearing that name. I look down not wanting to lift my face up, I don’t want Hyomin to feel suspicious looking at my uncomfortable expression right now.

 

“Good morning!” and she greeted back.

 

Hyomin went straight to her desk and pulled her earphones as she putted her backpack on the table. Feeling excited, I find my courage to look at her and maybe greet her since she’s my friend. It would be weird if I wouldn’t, people might think we had fought or something.

 

“Hey…uhm, good morning!” I wrinkled my nose, looking really shy right now.

 

The girl sitting at the back raised her brows; still wearing that scarf I gave her last week, and a very warm smile was on her facial afterwards. I wanted her to notice what’s new on me today. But to my dismay, Hyomin didn’t even praise me like others did.

 

“Good morning!”

 

Turning back, having this little hope that she will say something, holding my black pen, I couldn’t keep calm.

 

“Jiyeon…”

 

“Yes?” I quickly went to face her up, maybe she had realize what I wanted her to.

 

“I forgot to bring your history book back, my sincere sorry.”

 

Feeling disappointed, I looked down again and let a very small yet frustrating sigh, so the other wouldn’t notice.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“But you can use mine for the exam, I heard our teacher might give us quiz today. Use it for a review.”

 

“No you don’t have to. It’s really okay.” I declined, didn’t really felt good about what just happened. Expectations really lead you to disappointments.

 

“Hey, take this before I’ll nag you later..” Hyomin stated calmly.

 

Couldn’t do anything, I just let Hyomin be. To think I don’t really study or either opened my book for a small review regarding to this subject, maybe reading some small parts will help.

 

But I can’t take my thoughts of why Hyomin won’t say anything about my hair style today. She said she liked girls with this kind of hair style right? Why won’t she say that to me then?

 

[HYOMIN’S POV]

I’m on my way to school now but not with the usual time I would. My mom called, saying things what she wanted to. Though feeling angry after knowing she didn’t change at all, I know myself that somehow I want to come back and hug her tightly. But I don’t.

 

“Hyomin, when will you be back? ”

 

And so with my attitude, and with my pride, I didn’t tell her. Instead I dropped the call. But she called again.

 

“Mama will do her best! Mama will make things right so my baby daughter should wait patiently, you will right?” she said, though I couldn’t see her, I know she’s crying silently as if I was there standing, looking at her without doing anything as I always do.

 

“I loved your father and I loved you even more. I can’t take losing you both.”

 

“Mom please stop it. Don’t call me again if all you have to say is this all over again.”

 

I turned off my phone, feeling guilty. If I could only just do the divorce papers then I would, so mom and I can live happily. If only I could just say my mother’s inner feelings, tortured heart and dreadful memories to my father, then I would gladly tell him all of those. This family’s nightmare father created, all of those things happened lead us to become like this. I wanted to tell him everything, about what I felt about it to both of them, about how miserable this family is and so, I wanted to say I hated my father so much right in front of him.

 

I hated him so much but I could only make a fist and control my feelings. If only I have the courage to, then I’ll let this inside, the anger, the disappointments and the frustrations. I’ll tell them that. Everything but I just couldn’t.

 

I wanted to do it all, but I am really tired for everything.

 

“Good morning Hyomin!”

 

I snap back to reality. Didn’t realize I was right on my classroom receiving warm greetings from classmates. I smiled at them, and I greeted them as well. My eyes laid to someone’s new hairstyle; she was looking down as she closed her little notebook very quickly. What is she doing?

 

I smiled, went to my desk and sat quietly, pulling my earphones away. My friend, who was in front of mine, turned her head on me and greeted me with a ‘good morning’ while having that shy face. What’s with her today?

 

“Good morning!” I greeted her back,

 

I wanted to see Jiyeon longer, but the latter turned her head very quickly facing me back. She has this hair style I loved the most, I couldn’t still see her very clearly so maybe calling her would be a great idea.

 

“Jiyeon…”

 

“Yes?” that was a very quick response.

 

I saw her again, with that new hair style of hers. She was beautiful, she’s always be. I wanted to pinch her cheeks a little, for I kind of not resist her beauty. Jiyeon was cute with that hair style when she’s giving me that lovable and somehow confused look. But she’ll look best when she says nothing, I could only admire looking at her. A goddess-like being.

 

And so, I remember what I was going to say, glad my memory cooperated with me.

 

“I forgot to bring your history book back, my sincere sorry.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“But you can use mine for the exam, I heard our teacher might give us quiz today. Use it for a review.”

 

“No you don’t have to. It’s really okay.” she declined; I saw some disappointment right into her eyes. I wanted to know why?

 

“Hey, take this before I’ll nag you later..” I stated calmly, still wanting to see her smile like I always seen every morning.

 

But Jiyeon pouted taking my book. She’s just way too cute with that fringe!

 

Before I could call her to get her attention again, our teacher came and said her good morning too. I’ll just tell her later, she might think I am not caring about her new hair style.

 

It was lunch break when I and Jiyeon went to cafeteria from school library. We were having this quick research for chemistry subject and we would glad to help each other. The others had done and so the classroom president went to the faculty to send the worksheets. Still not opening up an interesting topic, Jiyeon and I ordered some meals before taking vacant seats quietly.

 

“How was your weekend?” Jiyeon, opening her lunch box, slowly broke our silence.

 

“It was fine.” I answered with my lovely smile.

 

Silence happened after. I don’t really like this kind of conversation.

 

“Did you plan on where to take an entrance exam for college yet?” I asked, thought of this might lead to a longer and comfortable convo.

 

“Ahmm not yet.” she giggled, “Where do you want to study?”

 

I tilted my head since I don’t have yet a choice right now.

 

“I’m still looking, might as well look or browse rental apartment near the university.”

 

“Oh I see.”

 

Jiyeon was busy on her meal so I got the chance to look on her facial very carefully. She looked so beautiful that I feel like even the word ‘beautiful’ can’t describe her. So as to make the things I wanted to tell her earlier right now, I paused and might as well tell her about why she did the hair style and so does she loved it too.

 

“Hyomin can we share seats with you both?”

 

Unfortunately, two girls interrupted my very warming moment.

 

“The kids looks like zombies when hungry. And there are no more vacant seats.” Eunjung reasoned out.

 

“Yeah sure.”

 

Boram went to sit beside Jiyeon while Eunjung was beside on me. Now I don’t have the chance to praise this outrageous young being in front, thanks to these two.

 

Instead of having some lovely conversation with Jiyeon alone, now we have a dorky conversation I don’t know when to stop. These two are just way too funny, they’re kind friends too. I didn’t know I would come up with friends like them, I never thought of having one with my somewhat loner attitude. Thanks to Jiyeon. I always think this happened because of her.

 

And so after the class has ended, I went my way to locker room first before I went back to my room since Jiyeon was waiting. We had this weekly routine after class – go and enjoy ourselves first eating desserts or having some ice creams. Jiyeon and I would usually go to a mall and explore more fashion and trends. But Jiyeon would only appreciate color black, I kind of want to give her some coat I liked but it wasn’t black colored.

 

So I’m here again, with Jiyeon, going to ditch campus together. It was really cold and so I putted the scarf she had gave me last week. My hands were on my jacket’s pocket but still I could feel the cold breeze. Shivering, the other girl tilt her head and hand me out a hand warmer pack and gave me a warming smile as a bonus.

 

“Use this,” she said, “it’ll make you feel warm a little.”

 

Her smile was the warmest I’ve ever seen.

 

“Ah! You have a very nice hair style today.” finally I conveyed, feeling satisfied.

 

The other pouted cutely, now her cheek starts to blush. I smiled again while I tried to but Jiyeon would only look to the other way, not looking at me. Maybe because she doesn’t want me to see her blushing that hard.

 

I laughed at her as I always did whenever she’s shy. There’s nothing to be shy about? Why is she doing this?

 

“Can you stop it?” she pleased,

 

“Okay I’ll stop now,” still giggling, Jiyeon gave me a very cold look, “Okay okay.”

 

“Ah it’s really cold..” I murmured, still holding the hand warmer, rubbing it against my hands.

 

Jiyeon turned her head on me again, or more like checking on me. The latter grab my hand, putting hand warmer on mine as she holds my hand. The feeling was warm; it was really warm that I don’t want to let it go anymore – and that I couldn’t move an inch when Jiyeon laid her eyes on me, smiling like that.

 

“It’ll be warmer that way.” Jiyeon stated, and right after showed me that lovable side of hers.

 

Stunning and hypnotizing. I closed my eyes and look at her back. I don’t know how to handle these feelings anymore, I don’t know what’s better. To have Jiyeon as my friend was great, but I’ve been having this thing unconditionally towards her.

 

“Jiyeon…” I spoke out, calling her name. Wanted to let out these words I kept for days.

 

“Hmm?” Jiyeon smiled.

 

The more I think about it, the more I doubt.

 

Should I confess to her?

 

~~~