[HYOMIN’S POV]

I opened my eyes and could only hear nothing but the tick tocks of the small clock on Jiyeon’s desk. I see her, she was sleeping right next to me with the same position – but facing at me. She was sleeping soundly that I don’t even dare to move an inch for it might wake her up. So what I did, I stare at her sleeping soundly for I couldn’t help but to. I longed for touching her facial as well as her hair. I did hope I could without worries and without a doubtful feeling that recently grew on me – so I could dare feel how warm she is and gets happy just by knowing her presence. I did longed too to hold her hand tight, letting her smiles melts me for I was, I guess, too frozen for a long time.

 

Jiyeon made me happy for a minute and gloomy for a minute. I hate it when I’ll get this hatred feeling whenever she’s with that girl, and later on be calm and okay whenever she’s with me. I think her charms really hit me real hard, for I couldn’t do anything about it.

 

My thoughts got intruded when the other make a move, marking she’s going to wake up in no time.

 

“You’re awake…” Jiyeon mutters.

 

I checked the time and it’s almost 11 in the evening.

 

“Yeah, it would be good for me to go now.” I uttered.

 

I closed my books and place it inside my bag, segregate the unfinished assignment to finish ones. We both went our way downstairs without any noise so we wouldn’t be a bother for the couple’s sleep.

 

“I think my mom is still awake,” Jiyeon whispers, slowly taking steps down stairs.

 

I followed her all down and didn’t let out any words. I was reminiscing that silent moment between me and sleeping Jiyeon recently, that I couldn’t even wash it away from my mind.

 

“Jiyeon? It’s late…” her mom converse,

 

“Yeah, Hyomin had to go.”

 

“Isn’t it a little bit too late?” her mom seems like not wanting me to go, but I had to.

 

“I’ll be fine.” I say,

 

Her mom protest not to but I insists. Jiyeon looks like trying to stop me too but I told her I’ll be okay since there’s no really harm going on my way to my dorm.

 

In the end I won, and so I’m going to go and leave this place. I have lots to do in my dorm and I bet the landlady is waiting for me, and I know it’s uncomfortable to her side and make this as my excuse. So they let me.

 

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Jiyeon asked again, for countless times.

 

“Don’t worry,”

 

I look on her and smiled to reassure. It is really okay.

 

“So I should go now.”

 

“Wait!”

 

“Hhm?”

 

The other looked down like she was thinking of what to say. After a minute Jiyeon finally lifted her head and is ready to say something,

 

“Can you help me get in to that university?” a favor was spoken from , and I couldn’t say no for that.

 

“Sure. Let’s review together.” I retorted, “so I got to go now?”

 

Jiyeon nodded and waved her hands at me, as saying goodbye. I smiled at her and turn back, as I call a cab and ready to open its door.

 

“Hyomin..” the girl held my hand making me stop from getting inside, and so I did pause again.

 

I raise my brows waiting for her to speak. I’m happy I feel that warm from her hand again.

 

“T-take care!” and she pull away her hand, “text me when you’re arrive.”

 

And so I nodded.

 

Its lunch time and every student were busy taking their meals. Since our last teacher asked me to take all the test papers from her desk in the office, and that all the boys were all out avoiding her, and that I was all alone in the class since Jiyeon went her way to toilet, I did say yes and went my way to follow her. We were busy this morning doing the Christmas decorations and for that excuse, two subject teachers weren’t able to come since they were busy too with their assigned advisory classrooms. Cutting all the garlands with the same exact sizes and the boys were busy too preparing the big Christmas tree inside the classroom. I won’t be surprise if they don’t want this teacher to ask them a favor; I know they’re tired but so do I?

 

“Hyomin kindly return these papers to your classmates and tell them to do the assignments and send the worksheets on time this afternoon?” the teacher asked,

 

I nodded as I get all the papers from her desk and went my way out from their faculty room.

 

I walked slowly on the lobby and noticed it became colourful than it usually was. Of course, Christmas is coming and that I could hear some jingle bell music from the speaker and it filled the atmosphere more outrageous. Every classrooms has different designs, and I smiled knowing our efforts were worth it.

 

Few more steps and I could be on my classroom where I saw Jiyeon, was probably waiting for me with another girl, talking. This feeling will retrieve again so I step backwards and turned so I won’t see them laughing at each other as they talk about things. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, there’s nothing wrong about feeling jealous but there’s also no wrong of loving someone who loves another.

 

I think they call it unrequited love. I guess I’m one of those…

 

“Ah you’re there!”

 

Jiyeon went closer to me and I didn’t even notice her coming, she tapped my shoulder and asked me where I had been.

 

“Mrs. Kim wanted me to return these papers,”

 

“Return it after lunch, come on I’m hungry”

 

The same table with the same two persons. Would always talk about random stuff and laughed at the weirdest things. We’re in this kind of friendship – Jiyeon has finally learned how to tease me as well as how much I loved to . We even did exchange lunch meals and shared a bottle of water. Yeah, we did, and I think that is something special – sharing is caring.

 

“You two got close huh,” the short haired girl approach, sitting next to me

 

I just did smile and looked at the girl in front, who’s totally staring at me back.

 

“Where’s Boram?” I asked,

 

“Nah, she went back to classroom since she left her money there,” Eunjung sigh and continued, “that midget is getting old, starting to forget small things” then burst to laughter.

 

Boram had finally arrived and was complaining since Eunjung didn’t even brought a food for her. The short haired girl said her sorry and went her way to grab a meal for the midget. Such friendship. I find it very precious though sometimes rude.

 

“I’ll be ditching here for some important matters. Can you go out alone?”

 

Jiyeon was packing all her things and was in a rush. I haven’t seen her like this before but I guess there’s an important matter so she is right now. We were the only ones left at the classroom after the class.

 

“Just go on ahead, I’ll always be fine.”

 

“Thanks! Be careful on your way home!” Jiyeon was about to go out from the room, but for some reason she paused, “By the way..”

 

I look on her again,

 

“I ah…” I can see she was biting her lip there, “I have something to tell you later, won’t you be busy after?”

 

Busy after?

 

“I thought you’re in a hurry?”

 

“Never mind. I’ll just text you, bye!”

 

I shook my head as I laughed at her, rushing her way to somewhere. I packed all my things to as I was ready to go home. I put on my earphones since I won’t be with Jiyeon right now, so I could enjoy listening to music on my way. The school is getting quiet and all that’s left is the footsteps from the members of dance club and the athletes who’s probably having a meeting and went their way out to have a warm up and practice. The student council’s office was empty, I guess they don’t have any programs this month or did they already went home?

 

I passed by at the music studio and found a big Christmas tree there, bigger than we had in our room. I saw a girl trying to put the star on the top, as she was carefully went up from the ladder. I saw Soyeon, well she was the one who designed it. Unexpectedly I saw Jiyeon there too, holding the cuter’s hand as she was on her way down safely.

 

So she was the important matter. Somehow, I feel empty.

 

From: Jiyeon

I’m at the park where we usually stop by.

Can you come here for a second?I have

Something to say ^^

 

Again, I have this selfish feeling of not wanting to see her. I am not really in the mood.

 

From: Jiyeon

I hope you’ll come

 

I got another message from her and decided to just go. Maybe she finally want me to know the things she wanted me to, like she was wrong saying she don’t like her anymore or something else. I wouldn’t want her to wait there for too long though, I do know how cold this day is. I better be there in no time, if I really wanted to know what she meant about telling me something.

 

I came there 15 minutes after, the park, as expected, was empty. There are no more kids playing and families staying and having some talks while sitting one of the benches. I narrowed my eyes to some familiar girl who’s sitting, back facing. It’s starting to snow again so I went my way fast there since I know it was Jiyeon.

 

“Why wait here?” I asked, bewildered, “it’s too cold.”

 

The girl in front stood up and was hiding something behind. She was totally smiling to me, so much opposite to mine.

 

“I’m glad you came..” she converse,

 

“We should go to some warm place, not here.” I recommended.

 

Jiyeon wouldn’t respond. The girl was just kept on looking down and look away from a far and I don’t know why. I tried to observe her but still I couldn’t get her.

 

“What?” finally I asked.

 

“I ahmm…” Jiyeon’s voice were so small, I almost don’t hear her.

 

Still standing, I did wait not really anticipating of what she would say.

 

“I have something to say to you…” she continued, “but I find it really hard since you are my friend.”

 

…

 

“Hyomin, please listen to me and allow me to say,”

 

She looked onto my eyes, and for some reason my heart was beating so fast. Why am I nervous?

 

[END OF HYOMIN’S POV]

 

[JIYEON’S POV]

Today I had decided to tell Hyomin about everything. Though nervous and not knowing about the result, I would go for it and let her know. They say it’s hard to express yourself to someone you love, harder to the ones you’re friends with. I have been thinking this all night, sometimes I get to say no but sometimes my own self would respond with a yes. Well, she’s my friend. It wasn’t hard to approach her since she’s really nice to me. But I don’t really know if after all these things, will our friendship will still be the same? Obviously not, but I somehow encourage myself to keep this friendship no matter what.

 

Everything went the same as always. Soyeon talked to me that lunch time as I was wondering where Hyomin was but later on came together with the test papers. I wasn’t really focusing last morning about decorating the classroom, my mind is filled with what to say after to her. I didn’t even prepare a lot for this, but there’s this much important thing to get ready and prepare for – my emotional aspect.

 

I know I’m not expert to this kind, but I’ll make sure to try my best to accept whatever the outcome is. Hyomin is a good friend, and I want her to know I like her but at the same time I don’t want to lose her. I know too she’s a straightforward person – but that don’t give me as an excuse to give up. I know she’s my friend; I treated her special than anyone else because I like her. But I know too that reality is much different from all the fairytales – reality is more tragic than those stories I had read.

 

“I’ll be ditching here for some important matters. Can you go out alone?”

 

I was ready to go and buy something after. Since the shop will be close at 5pm, I need to hurry.

 

“Just go on ahead, I’ll always be fine.”

 

“Thanks! Be careful on your way home!” I paused and just in case I would like to remind her, “By the way..”

 

Hyomin look on me.

 

“I ah…” out of control, I accidentally bit my lip for that, “I have something to tell you later, won’t you be busy after?”

 

“I thought you’re in a hurry?”

 

“Never mind. I’ll just text you, bye!”

 

Since I was in a rush, I didn’t bother turning back to hear her saying goodbye to me. I have these quick steps on my way to exit. I couldn’t be late there since it’s the only flower shop nearby. I don’t want to go home either and back to my planned destination since I know my mom will do tease me about things she always says. If I grab a taxi quickly, I could be there for like 5 minutes and I could still catch up. But if I don’t, it’ll ruin my plan. It’s pretty cold today and I don’t want Hyomin and I to stay longer outside getting freeze from the snow.

 

“Jiyeon, glad you pass by..”

 

I got intruded when Soyeon called me out asking for help. She said Qri went out to buy something for the equipment needed. I was hesitating at first but later on said yes and make her help in quick.

 

“Are you in a hurry?”

 

“Yeah..” I honestly exclaimed.

 

“Oh, just help me put this star on the top. I’m sorry to bother you,” Soyeon pouted.

 

“It’s okay, let’s just make it quick.”

 

Soyeon was struggling coming up with the ladder, putting that star on the top of the big Christmas tree. She said her fellow music members went out and some were absent.

 

We made it for more like a few minutes and I say my goodbyes after she came down from the ladder. I took a cab, and finally reach to the flower shop and brought a pink rose. Hyomin mentioned before that pink roses means admiration, I know what it was then from the beginning since my mother loves flowers a lot. Though I know this may be cheap to hear, but this is the only way for me to be a romantic admirer. I have done this for years and I know I won’t be failed giving this to Hyomin – who knows who I am and understands it.

 

I sent her a message saying I have something to say, and send another message hoping she would come. I was sitting on the same bench we used to sit after class, and have a more warm conversation than we had when we first became friends.

 

I thought of what to say again, the snow starts to fall and it was really cold. I gaze at the rose and smiled for no reason. Half of me feeling happy while the other feeling dead nervous. Who wouldn’t feel it when you decided to confess your feelings to a friend?

 

“Why wait here? It’s too cold.”

 

Startling, I got up and hid the pink rose from behind.

 

“I’m glad you came..” I responded,

 

“We should go to some warm place, not here.”

 

My heart beats fast knowing she’s already in front of me. Didn’t think of she’ll come here very quickly after sending that messages. Due to nervousness, I started to look down and look from a far avoiding her stares.

 

“What?” Hyomin asked,

 

“I ahmm…” I couldn’t say it straightforwardly since Hyomin was having this expressionless facial.

 

Still standing, I know she’s waiting for me to continue what I had just started.

 

“I have something to say to you…” I shyly continued, “but I find it really hard since you are my friend.”

 

I can now feel my ears starts to get warm, feeling my cheeks starts to blush. I know this will happen, I hope I won’t get stutter.

 

“Hyomin, please listen to me and allow me to say,”

 

Lifting my head up, I gulped for she was seriously looking at me with that meaningless gaze. I don’t know, I feel like my heart just wanted to jump off from my chest.

 

“Hmm?”

 

I took a deep breath and looked down again. Find my courage to look at her and say these things I had kept for long.

 

And so, I handed her the pink rose. I know there’s no turning back after this.

 

“Hyomin…”

 

“I like you”

 

“And I think I started to love you too….”

 

The surroundings seems like went to slow motion as I was looking at her after conveying what I feel. I was waiting for her respond and is ready for it. Hyomin somehow, gaze at the pink rose for a moment and lifted her head to look on me again.

 

Feeling these beats inside starting get worst, I tried to inhale and exhale to relax myself – before I heard her saying no…

 

“No…” she said, “You shouldn’t do this.”

 

The beats earlier suddenly stop – and I don’t know whether it will resume or not anymore..

 

“You can’t fall in love with me”

 

Was that a rejection?

 

~~~