My phone rings, it was actually a several times already. I’m trying to clear my mind for now; it’s too much for me to think about my family’s situation and about Jiyeon’s too. I don’t know whether I should stand beside her as a sign of strength or just give her some cheerful thoughts for her to cheer up. I can only utter words like ‘It will be fine’ or ‘Everything will be okay, time heals’ but guess it didn’t work out. She didn’t cried, that I thought she would easily. Maybe she wasn’t a sensitive one but I know she isn’t a cold-hearted one – a warm and a true heart couldn’t be insensitive though, and I know she doesn’t want anyone to see her cry and that one truth that she doesn’t want anyone to be worry or even concern. Or just like me, the way I treated her, to not get onto someone else’s business.

I wanted her to tell me how much she felt. Like the way she pursued me to, and the way her concerns calms me everytime. Now I understand why Jiyeon is being like that to me – that being a good friend is not just for her to be by your happiest side, but on your loneliest and broken side too.

I know and I’m trying.

I stood up, wanted to get some fresh air. Jiyeon isn’t around, she left without me. She was clearly out of herself today, and I can tell that by just looking at her blank expression. It’s already past 5pm but she didn’t return yet, so I decided to find her out. I’ll get fresh air anytime anyway, I just needed to talk to her and settle her doubtful feeling, if she ever had.

But one thing for sure I can’t promise to heal, and it’s her wounded heart.

The classrooms were empty and my footsteps were echoed in this silent building. Now a sound of a melodic instrumental could be heard, sad lyrics sang by someone’s powerful voice occupied the entire building. The song was ‘I don’t know anything but love’ by Shim Soo Bong, but I can’t deny that this version is more dramatic than the original in my opinion. Her voice could melt someone’s heart and I’m pretty sure this voice can make you feel the meaning of the song more.

Now I paused and I closed my eyes and quickly open it again. There she was, standing watching Soyeon. That unexplainable look on hers made me worried. And that lips of hers curved upwards made me confused, with her head bow downed after seeing that cuter smiling with that girl Jiyeon called her bestfriend. The brunette lifted up her face again, as if it was okay, as if she is okay. As if she was fine in front of her weakest standing bravely like that.

I hate seeing such thing. It only reminds me of how heartbroken it was for me to witness one.

~~~

“Hyomin?”

Half-asleep, but still I could hear her husky voice wanting my attention. Glad this girl decided to talk to me, I can now be worry less.

“You still awake?” she asked,

I can feel she sat on the bed, and that she took a big sigh, I can still hear those. I open my eyes as to take this chance to talk to her, and maybe I can say an advice so she can have a peaceful mind by now. But then she started before I could, and I just let her be since I want to listen to something she doesn’t want me to listen to. By any chance, does she want me to?

“Hyomin I-” her voice cracked up, it feels like some burden cut her words.

“I know you’ve been worried all this time for me, and I’m sorry for that.” Jiyeon then started, clearing up, “by the way it’s not like what you think it is, though it seems like to think it was?”

What? What is she saying? I don’t understand…

“It’s getting confusing, I wish you could just tell me things to clear up my mind right now..”

There you go, this girl thought I was a sleepyhead sleeping soundly as if I didn’t hear her. But maybe it would be good to just listen, she won’t say anything if ever I’m awake either.

“The thing is,” Jiyeon heave a big sigh before she continued, “it’s weird. Like literally weird.”

Weird?

“You do know I was all happy bringing that pink rose to Soyeon’s locker but sadly I didn’t get the chance, right?”, she let out a big sigh again. It makes me want to look at her and witness her cuteness by now.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your questions nor talk to you after that. But there is just something I’m confused about and that I thought you wouldn’t understand why.”

“Things like, I should be hurting seeing them like that and I’m not that naïve to not know why. That I should be hurting inside, crying out loud as I regretted those things you had said before, that there’s no wrong about trying but I chose to not.”

I keep on listening; I wanted to hear what’s inside her pure heart.

“What makes me confused is that I’m happy seeing her happy-”

“I mean, there’s no ache could be felt on, that I am literally happy seeing her with Qri, her bestfriend.”

I sense something weird, as what she told me earlier. But it’s a good thing, moving on without realizing it is a good thing.

“What makes me confuse more is that…” Jiyeon sigh again, for how many times actually? “I should be hurting right? But I’m not…”

“I think I don’t like Soyeon anymore. I think I’d been letting her go all this time, I think that’s enough already..”

 A sweet smile can be seen on my face, now I don’t have to worry.

“But I am still not sure about that.”

~~~

[JIYEON’S POV]

“Mom!”

I shouted after opening my eyes sensing something was off. Hyomin is nowhere to be found, I couldn’t even find her belongings in my wardrobe and her school supplies on my desk. I went downstairs as I kept on calling my mom, bet they got annoyed with my screaming morning-voice.

“Mom!?” again I shouted, seeing my mother giving me that concern look as she hovers that ladle.

“Why are you in a hurry? Have you seen a ghost or something?” she asked, more like teasing me.

I took a deep breath as to calm myself before asking her again. I know she knew why Hyomin isn’t here anymore.

“Where’s Hyomin?” a concern and desperate voice came out from my mouth. It makes me sad.

“She left early this morning, haven’t she told you?”

What…?

I went back to my room to do my daily routine. But before anything else, I dialed Hyomin’s number hoping she would answer my call – but she doesn’t. She should have told me before so I could help her move out or she could have just stay here until weekend so we could still talk things I wanted to talk with her. But then again, seems like she wanted to do things on her own without me knowing; it felt so odd feeling this emptiness in me.

Strange, did I just used to be by her side that I wanted to see her every time I wake up from my dreams?

“Anyway, she should have told me. She won’t even answer her phone..”

I buried my body on my bed, now a very deep sigh came out after.

I got up after sensing something that isn’t mine on the bed side table – so I pull my right arm to reach it and read the title on the cover. I’m pretty sure this is from Hyomin’s, I don’t like reading to be very honest.

Something came up with my mind so I opened the book and turns to the folded page on it, guess she stopped by here and didn’t get to continue and maybe went to fell asleep or so. I unfolded the page and see what its content is – a short poems were on there, and I went to the cover again to see who’s the author. It was from Lang Leav’s, how brilliant and amazing.

And this sentence could be read.

“You see,”she said, “your first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to – it’s the first one who breaks it.”

~~~

The classroom was in silent. All students’ heads were all bow down, writing exact answers on a sheet of paper that was on the desk. The others were done answering numbers 1 to 3, some are trying to remember what they had read and some were pretending like they’re studying. The whispers from the right side could be heard, it was Boram whining answers from Eunjung. The short-haired knockout again, nothing can do about this sleepy side of hers.

While me, nah. I couldn’t even give my attention to this crap, well yeah – surprise quiz again. From this dreadful chemistry teacher that horrifies every vein out of me and those sharp-eyes that can kill any student, I wonder why is she being so terror and all, I mean it’s not really necessary to have that kind of look to scare bully or stubborn students.

But guess what? I can’t do anything about it.

I glance at my wrist watch, numbers could be read – 10:48am. Yet Hyomin isn’t around, is she going to skip class today?

“Number fo -” the teacher paused, right then she continued “you’re very late.” with a heavy tone.

I lift my head after that, seeing her crossing her arms looking at the student who was on the classroom door, bowing as she says sorry.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” she then apologized.

“Go to your seat, we’re still at number four.” then those sharp eyes laid on me, I got startled a bit for that.

Damn.

Hyomin went to her seat while I gave her a paper to get started; she smiled at me and whispered her ‘thank you’ as she took her pen out from her bag. Such a cutie, I couldn’t resist.

“Let’s resume, number four,” and the teacher continued, with my mentality absence.

~~~

I’m tired. I had been thinking things on what to present next week and my partner’s not good on thinking great ideas too. Great, great combination. I don’t blame Boram for being like me but I just couldn’t think something that is good for us to try – or something that we both can do, I can dance a little but I’m not a pro though to think such steps which we can dance to on the stage for at least 3 to 4 minutes. And I’m really hopeless right now, I did not did a great job from that quiz plus our teacher assigned us lessons to advance studying and stuff like that for further. Ah, I hate this.

“Ahh let’s have a break! My stomach’s growling like hell.” Boram frowned, holding her little tummy.

“Let’s continue after class today.”

“Uh…see you later” then she went out hastily, without looking back.

My classmates were on the cafeteria of course, it’s lunch time. I packed my things up and ready to take mine too, I bet Hyomin was having her lunch there.

I went straight to that place after receiving some message from Hyomin telling me where she is, with my lunch box and this bottled fresh orange juice mom prepared. I don’t really want to waste such precious time since we will not be able to talk for days because of this presentation we, as pairs prepared. There’s this little part of me saying I wish we were just partners, by that I can think and work comfortably with her all the way. Nope, not just little of me, all of me actually.

Time check, its 12:13pm. I still got some more time to be spent with her.

And there I saw Hyomin, sitting alone. Reading something on the table and I know it’s full of poems about life again.

I take my step forward but then some stranger went at her, strangers actually.

“Hi, Hyomin.”

Hyomin with her attitude then gave him such blank look.

“I heard you’re new here, umm actually long time ago.”

His friends laughed at him, such an awkward boy.

“Do you want to take lunch together? I bet you don’t have any friends yet.”

I’m narrowing my eyes to this guy, and strangely I can clearly hear their conversation.

“But before that,” again he converse, “may I have your number?”

No..

No dude.

“Hey!” I heard his complaint, after intentionally bumping onto him with my bottle open up. Such a waste, I needed to spill this orange juice onto his uniform for safety purposes.

“What the he--” his other friends complaint too.

“I’m sorry, you all blocking the way.” I responded coldly.

“You should be more careful next time.” I can tell this guy slowly having a grudge on me, heh.

“Come on let’s just go!”

Thank goodness they left; I never thought I can do that in just one act.

“What’s with that?” now Hyomin asked, curiously wanted to know why “you did that on purpose right?”

I smiled a little, I don’t know if she had sensed that.

“I think so.” I replied with this sheepish smile I could ever have.

Now, it felt like time just stopped by –

Hyomin just stared at me with her lovable cat-liked eyes with an eye smile form on it. I couldn’t resist those, feel like I could melt anytime. That now I looked at her back, I am brave enough to have that.

~~~