I couldn’t answer her right away. My mind is just not in the state to reply that question. I do love roses and flowers a lot; and I had mentioned it before. Feels like she was waiting for me to utter a word but didn’t laid her eyes on me. She wasn’t smiling though, so do I.  The atmosphere feels like the awkward beating up the silence which was caught in the act but hard to deny because I felt embarrassed by it.

Wait did I just said ‘embarrassed by it’? Since when did love felt to be embarrassed for?

“You got pink rose again?”

A phrase from a familiar’s voice which lead me back to reality, waking me up all this time.

“Yup. Isn’t it cute?” the angelic voice giggled, grabbing the rose from her locker.

“I wonder who’s giving you those for all these years. Such an effort I find it very impressive.”

“Falling in love with my charms?” again Soyeon giggled, but in a cuter way.

I was still having this uncomfortable gesture standing while looking at her smiling like that. It was like my body got separated for the two different current feeling I had; half of me feeling very flattered while the other half feeling really sick and terrible seeking an answer to give to this new transferee girl. I wouldn’t dare to say those words though since it’s going to be so obvious for her. And the conversation they had made, what do I expect to this Hyomin to think of?

Does this mean I got really caught by this girl from my hidden secret for these years? Everything is just too late and it really is obvious indeed so…

“Aren’t you curious of who would that guy be?” the elf-like eared asked.

The cuter curved her lips upwards and I could clearly see that since I fixated my eyes on her. Definitely neglecting Hyomin’s appearance right now.

“I was, pretty Qri. For a long time now actually.” Soyeon responded “He might be an innocent guy.” then added.

‘He’?

I always thought about it. Soyeon would expect it was a ‘he’ but actually a ‘she’. I always put it as a consideration, since we’re both girls. I know, I know exactly how society would react to this and I know too someone would understand, understand this weird feeling I had. But I don’t know whether it’s taking too long to find that someone who would or is it just me who doesn’t liked to wait for once?

It was once said that a love story could be called one with a girl falls in love at a boy and vice versa. For some reason I wanted to be in a different gender not on what I am right now, with that I could confess to lovable Soyeon with no more worries and such.

I always think of one thing bothering me for 2 years now. Like does gender really matters when it comes to love?

“We’re in the same class right?” the new transferee uttered, hanging her headphones on her shoulder.

“W-what?” I got startled for a while. I was thinking things too deep just right now.

“Last time I remembered we’re classmates.”

“We are?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Hyomin raised her brows. Not really sure if she was insulted about me not remembering her as my new classmate.

What’s gotten onto me? Am I that too loner to not recognize her as my classmate in a class or is it just I don’t really care who my classmates are?

The transferee left me without a word, and I too was still observing my crush smiling prettily. Completely not giving any care about her and about what she had heard. Watching Soyeon holding that light pink rose was a better idea than thinking worries. I wanted to see her every morning like that while looking at the rose I had secretly gave. Maybe she liked roses too that a pleasure feeling shown on her facial whenever she received some.

I had gave her approximately 220 pink roses per school year, and I don’t really mind counting them every week. Right now, for 2 years of hiding my feelings for her, the pink roses I had grab from our backyard and bought ones from flower shops had almost 500 counts. It made me freak out for a while, like how on earth did I survived delivering those on her locker and not even giving any clues about my identity?

But the question is, would she be happy knowing it was a ‘she’?

“Park Jiyeon?” an angry voice breaking the silence of the room, almost growling.

My eyelids fell down slowly as I look on the person who was crossing her arms and completely judging me. Yup, the class had started almost an hour and I found myself not even listening to her lessons because it’s kinda boring. I tried my best to give my attention for an entire lesson she would tackled, but my mind won’t just especially knowing I hated this subject a lot.

Really a lot.

“When an entire group of atoms acquires a charge, a blank forms.” She uttered, it made me scared “answer this question. Your mentality is not in the class for an entire session, I figured.”

I feel like my head is spinning itself collecting my brain cells as to review anything I had learned. But why would I come up with a word review and think of it when I don’t actually study anything related to this subject?

What the heck is the answer?

“Polyatomic ion…” someone whispered from behind, made me think there’s an angel guiding me.

I gulped for the second time, tried to have a right posture while playing my trembled fingers under the table.

“Polyatomic ion?” I uttered and of course I don’t know whether it’s right or definitely wrong.

The teacher felt calm. Wondered why?

“Guess I looked down on you much,” piling the papers on her desk, giving signs to leave “thank you and that’s all for today.”

All of my classmates in the class started to take their leave after a loud ring rang from a bell at the school. Talked about where would they hang out, where to take their lunch and such. And I was still putting my notes in my backpack feeling my mind is not literally in the world where I am right now. I get a chance to check on who was the person right behind me; the one who helped me from that dangerous question I got from that terror teacher. I figure it was the new transferee sitting calmly while writing some notes on her book.

So it was her. Hyomin helped me. I find it very brilliant.

“Thanks.” I speak up graciously. I was very thankful to be very honest.

The girl didn’t respond.

I just leave it as it is, I find her not easy to hang out with. She was preparing herself to go and didn’t let out words from after. Grabbed her backpack on as she stand straight in front of me, showing that awkward look. But I was too, replying with one. I wonder what she was thinking.

“The thing you saw earlier, keep it as a secret.” I commanded her bravely, more like begging?

Hyomin furrowed her brows the same as how her lips curved downwards. Did she not get that thing she had witnessed a while ago or is she acting like she didn’t?

“Why would I?” finally she responded.

“For pity’s sake.”

I observed her reaction. I find myself very rude acting like that.

“Light pink rose means admiration. And I know you admire that girl with bangs earlier.” She blurts out.

“That’s why I’m saying..” a sigh continued my sentence, making me feel a bit odd “Just please keep it as a secret.”

Hyomin instead gave me those bitter look, taking some small yet slow steps towards the exit door in the room. I’m screwed if she ever spread that, I don’t even know a little single thing about her either.

“Don’t worry. I don’t give a damn care about it.” Right then she responded.

~~~

Author's note: The second chapter comes out! Hoping you would like it :) Thank you for reading <3