I wake up and look at the ceiling, my vision is blur, so I have to blink my eyes for seconds, as I was doing that, I heard my mom said,

 

“Oh god ___ your finally awake”, while hugging me tight and she was slightly sobbing , I was just confuse, I wanted to sat up, but I don’t feel my legs, I try to move it again but it didn’t work. I try to sat up but I cant, my mom look at me and ask what’s wrong and I told her.

“umma I cant feel my legs”. I look at my mom and told me to try moving it,

I get the blanket away from me and try it again, but I cant. I look at my mom confuse, and I said.

 

“Umma I cant feel it, mom I cant move my legs, what’s wrong”, I ask non stop, mom was getting worried and said,

“____ im going to get the doctor okay just wait for me”, I was confuse I saw her run from me, after minutes the doctor came, and he examine it, after that he said,

 

“Ms.kang  this is because of the damage done in the accident, and you where in a comatose for 2 months, your body need to adjust, we will be examining it. But for now, try to understand the situation and you have to rest your body. That accident gives a hard impact to your body. You were lucky enough to survive that kind of accident, and you were lucky that you were brought here immediately. So for now rest and you have to make your body healthy and I will assign a therapies for you. don’t worry ms.kang you will be able to walk after the therapy”. he said while explaning it, and left, my mom was talking to the doctor outside, so I just sat there silently, well thanks god that I will be able to walk if I undergo therapy, I was staring at my feet, trying to move in, but nothing happens. I saw mom walking towards me, looking at me worried and cupped my face and said,

 

“Don’t worry baby , you will be able to move your legs and I promise that I’ll be helping you. You scared me ___,  I thought I would lost you ___, I hear her crying out loud on me, and it hurts me so much, I hug my mom and said,

 

“Sssshhh sshhh, im okay now umma”. When she calm down, she look at me, and I ask her,

 

What happen umma? My mom look at me confuse. And said.

“ You don’t remember the accident ­­­____?” i look at her confuse and shook my head, my mom spoke and said,

 

“When you told me the address that night, i just run off and went to you, yuri called me and ask if I talk to you, and I said yes, so we met at the bar and went inside. But we didn’t see you anywhere, I tried calling you but you’re not picking up. Yuri was really worried and she got scared because maybe something might bad happen to you. she was crying, and so do I, we went to your apartment hoping that you’ll be there, we’ve been knocking but no one answer it, yuri was so frustrated and broke your apartment’s door, as we went inside, we look everywhere but to our dismay you’re not there too. We didn’t know what to do, until someone called yuri. Telling her that you were in an accident and brought to the hospital, so we went there , asking where you were , they said you were in the operating room. And some police came telling us about what happen to you, they said that you were driving drunk but it was not your fault cause the car who hit you was doing a u turn, he just come to inform that and will be coming later on when your awake, they left and  We’ve waited  for you and after hours the doctor come out”, my mom push and continue,”

 

 

“I ask the doctor what happen to you and he said, that there’s a blood clot on your head and broken ribs and some bruises to your body and your legs was the most damage. he said you were in a comatose stage I broke down and he said that you will be waking up like 2 weeks and its been 2 months ___”, when my mom said 2months? I widen my eyes. I feel my mom hug me tight,

 

“___ I don’t want to lose you, you’re everything that I have , please don’t leave me huh?”. She said while crying again, I cupped her face and wipe her tears, I kiss my mom’s both eyes and said,

 

“Can you not cry umma? Im okay now, and Im really sorry for what I did. And sorry if I disappoint you, im really really sorry umma”. I cant held myself and broke down in front of my mom. She just hug me tight, my head hurts a bit and mom notice it and said.

 

“You have to rest ___. Your head is still hurt, just rest okay?” She said while gently press me to lay down, I just obey her, and was just staring at her,

 

“Are you hungry”, she ask me but I shook my head, she ask me again,

“You thirsty?” I nodded my head, and my mom handed me water and I drink it, and said thanks to her,

 

I look at mom and she really look like a zombie. I wanted to ask her to go home and rest. But I know she will just refuse, I was still looking at her when we heard a knock. I hear mom say come on in. I saw jessica slowly going in, she mustn’t notice that im a wake she hug my mom and she was asking if im already a wake my mom was about to answer her but I cut her off and said.

 

“Hi sica, she looks where the voice came and I see her widen her eyes and clamp her both hands on her mouths, tears are streaming down on her face. And the next thing I knew she hug me real tight that I cant breathe,”

 

“Yah yah yah yah sica too tight too tight”, she notice it and release the hug she said,

“Your really awake”, she said while her tears are streaming down nonstop, I pinch her both cheeks and said,

 

“Yeah sica im awake now”, she look at me and hold my hands which is still in her face, I can see in her eyes that she really scared, I hear her say.

 

“____ don’t ever scare me like that, we thought we lose you. I thought I wouldn’t see you again”, while broking down on me”, I grab her down and  hug her tight while calming her, I saw mom mouthed at me that she’ll be outside, I just give her a nod and smile, minutes later jessica stop crying and look up at me, I give her a smile and wipe her tears,

 

“How you’re feeling ___?”Are you hurt? Do you have headache? She ask me nonstop and I cut her off and said.

 

“Sica im okay now, but I cant move my legs”, I saw jessica widen her eyes, but I didn’t let her speak and said,

“Don’t worry sica the doctor said I just need to have the therapy, my legs was the most damage after that accident, and was lucky enough to survive, I’ll be okay so don’t worry”,

I saw jessica nodded her head, and looking down, she’s really worried.

 

“Sica” , I called her, but she didn’t answer,

“Sica” I called her again. But no reply. I hold her hands but she didn’t look at me,

“Sic- jessica cut me off and said,

 

“Are really that dumb ___? Are you really a coward? Making your self miserable? Are you ___!!!!” I jump a bit when I heard jessica shouted at me, I felt dumbfounded. And she continue,

“Are you willing to die just because of her? Your life didn’t end just here ___, there are still people out there, always at your side that are not going to leave you, but you just keep yourself away, you didn’t contact us, you didn’t care for us. Your hurting us too, were so much hurt seeing you like this, making your life miserable to the person who doesn’t want you anymore,  I hate seeing you like this,  You just care about yourself, you didn’t care if were worried or not, you shut yourself down, you thought your life ended because taeyeon leaves you,  you still have us ___, your mom , yuri,yoona and me. did you forget us? she doesn’t deserve you ____. Can you see? She’s not here anymore, Can you just move on and be yourself.” She said while crying hard, and continue. Looking at my eyes straight to my soul. And said

 

“For once ___ see the people who love and care for you, just for once. Forget about her and move on. I hear her sighing hard and she look at me and said, im tired ___ “,After she said that, she walks away and didn’t turn to look at me, I just notice my tears stream down on my face after I see her walk away.

 

I saw mom come to me and hug me gently, I was sobbing and didn’t utter a word. All the things jessica said to me, stuck on my heart, I hurt them. And im so stupid not feeling that, that I just ignore them, I regret everything that ive done to them,

 

“Im sorry so sorry umma, sorry”, I said while crying nonstop. My mom just let me hugging me tight and rubbing my back,

 

 

I wake up and look around. I must have been asleep awhile ago, I saw mom sleeping on the couch, I and try to sat up but I cant and I look at my side when I notice someone is sleeping while her head is down with her both arms. She wakes up and look up, and I saw her stand up and she was hugging me, saying,

 

 

“Oh thanks god your okay now ____. I miss you so much buddy”.

I hug her and said, “I miss you too buddy”, she release the hug and sit down at the side in front of me while holding my right left hand and said,

 

“I really miss you”, while holding my face, I just give her my best smile,

 

“I miss you too, and thanks for being here with me”.

“No need to thank me ____. You know that im always there for you”,

“Yeah I know”, I said while looking down, biting my lips to prevent from crying.

“Hey look at me ___”.

I slowly look up and I saw her smiling at me,

“Im really glad that you’re awake and okay now”,

“Yeah”,

“Hey bud, don’t do that again , arraso? Or im going to kick your off”,

I just laugh at her and said,

“Don’t worry I wont do that again”.

“I miss you laugh ___”.

‘I look at her and said.

“Sorry for making you worried about me”. while my tears fall ,

“Hey hey hey I told you its alright, just don’t do that again, hmm? And please don’t cry, I hate seeing you cry”, she said while wiping my tears away,

I nodded at her and ask.

“How are you yul?”

“Im awesome now cause your awake”, she smile widely at me, and continue, and her face turns serious and said, “although I was still worried, your mom told me you condition”.

“Hey buddy I’ll be alright, don’t worry, I’ll be going on a therapy”, I just smile at her to assure her that im going to be okay, I saw her nodded and said,

“Oh Yoona is crying w