together

Loving you is all i need
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

 

Together

 

****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I arrive at the han river park, the driver was glancing at me awhile ago because I was shaking, when he said that we’ve have arrive, I pay him and went out of the taxi, I  walk at the han river, there’s some people came maybe to watch the river or maybe to have family bonding. A lot of couple and some people look at me, but i ignore them, I seated myself to the ground put my crutch on my sides, and look at the river. I just need myself to be relaxed and be calm, why did I react like that, I’m sure jessica is worried now. But why did she have to brag about sooyoung, why I’m really jealous now, is yuri was right? Should I really make a move? But I still can’t and I’m still scared, I close my eyes because I was really mad and my tears about to fall, and I was biting my lips, but minutes later I felt someone seated at my side, I open my eyes and turn to my right, I saw jessica staring at me, and said,

“Why did you walk out like that ___?”

But I didn’t answer her and look in front,

“Did I say something wrong?”

But still I didn’t talk to her, she hold my shoulder and said,

“Please answer me and don’t ignore me”

“I just want to be alone for now sica” I said, my voice was low,

“Why?”

“Just sica please”

“No, tell me first why you walk out?” jessica said coldly.

I hung my head and bit my lips, I’m just jealous sica can you see? But I can’t tell you that, cause I don’t have rights too’, I talk to myself

Jessica holds my face and forces to face her, I look at her and I see she was in the verge of crying,

“___ just please tell me why?”

“I can’t tell you, can you please leave me alone”

“No, I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me what’s wrong?”

I look her in the eye, and was hurt cause I see her tears stream down on her face, I wipe her tears away, and said.

“I don’t deserves your tears sica”

She looks at me maybe asking why I tell her like that, I continue and said,

“Don’t waste your tears on me because I’m not worth for it”

“What you’re talking about ___” she ask while tears visible on her face,

“I don’t deserves you sica, I can’t take this”

“I really don’t know why your acting like this ___, and what you mean you can’t take this?”

“Why do you like someone like me sica?”

“There’s no reason for me not to like you ___”

“ha ha” I laugh pathetically and continue,

“Look sica, I’m not rich, I don’t have house, I can’t walk properly, I don’t have job, now tell me why do you like me?”

“I like you ____ not because all of that, I like you, just like you , all of you, I don’t mind if you’re not rich, or even don’t have house, you still have work, and I don’t care if you can’t walk properly, cause I know you will recover from it,”

“What If I can’t? What if I stay like this? Are you going to take care a stubborn disabled girl?”

“If you can’t, then I’ll be forever there with you, I won’t leave you even you want me to,” she said crying,

“Are you really that blind sica? Look at me, I’m hopeless, I even have those PTSD, I can’t control my temper, w-w-why d-d-o y-y-you s-s-til l-like me?” I said my heart was so hurt, and I cried in front of her, while biting my lips,

“Because I love you ___ I really do, can you see that ___?”

 

I glance at her, but feeling ashamed of myself, because I didn’t know what to say, I feel sorrowful, I should be happy because someone likes me, but I don’t wanna hurt jessica, I really do like her but did she really deserves someone like me?, I look briefly at her but look away, bit my lips and said.

 

“You should just find someone else to love sica, not me”

“Why?” I hear her say, and her voice crack,

I turn to look at her, and my heart wrench when I see the look in her face, full of sadness pain sorrowful, I bit my lips and said,

“You deserves someone better sica, not me” my tears drop because I can’t hold it anymore,

“I can’t be enough for you, I can’t give you anything, I’m hopeless, I had disorder, and I’m so pathetic cause I can’t get her off my mind, I don’t want to hurt you sica, I’m sorry,” I hear jessica sob harder, she clasp , the scene was a heartbreak for me, and I can’t help but cry, my heart shattered,

She shook her head and said,

“Tell me ___ did you not have feel something for me?”

“I do sica, I just can’t feel this, I’m jealous of that girl you mention, I can’t hold my angry, i don’t have to feel this way, sica”

“If you do, have you tried to make a space in your heart for me?”

I look her in the eyes, and nodded.

She exhale and spoke,

“Then, if you do, why don’t you want me in your life?”

“I’m scared sica”

“To love me?”

“I’m scared to myself”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t be with you” I hung my head when I said that, tears are still streaming in my face,

“Why can’t you be with me?

“I just can’t sica, I’m sorry”

“Tell me one good reason that we can’t be together”

“I don’t want to hurt sica”

“Is just so a lame excuse ___, just tell me you don’t love me, I didn’t mind, just let me love you, let me make you happy, you said you wanted to be happy with me?, are you just kidding that time when you said that? the kiss we shared at the hospital,? It didn’t mean anything for you? or you just kiss me because of moment not because you wanted too or like, am I not enough ____? What should I do to make you notice me? I didn’t know what to do now ____, you were giving me those hope that I thought you like me just a little bit ____, just a little bit is enough for me, but even you don’t want me, my heart will always be longing for you. Should I stay away from you? Should I just forget about you? is that what you want? You know what, I guess I should just leave alone for now, you should cool down, jessica said while wiping her tears and stand up and fix herself, she look down at me for moment and biting her lips, and said,

 

 

“I’ll see you later” she walks slowly away from me, my heart hurt a lot, should I really just let her go? i remember the dreams I had before, I choose her then why am I doing now? She loves me more than anything, she give everything she could, should I just let her go like that? I remember the way she talk about sooyoung and it gets me mad, like really mad, should I let myself hurt again? No I don’t want to feel that again, yes I loved taeyeon but I have feelings for sica, and I know I’ll be happy with her, taeyeon is a past now and I should think of my future with sica, I don’t want to lose her, so I gathered my thought and I have to catch up to jessica, I turn my head and saw her walking slowly, I get my crutches and rise from the ground, I walk hurry and yelled and called jessica,

“SICA!!!!!!” she didn’t hear me, but I have to try again,

“SICA!! SICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I saw her stop at her track and turn her body towards me, I was catching my breath, she walk towards me, but I stop her meters away from me, she glance and wondering why I stop her,

“Just stay right there sica” I exhale and spoke,

“I’m sorry for hurting you, for making you feel like, I don’t care and like you sica, cause I really do, sorry for acting like that and sorry if I walk out, I’m just jealous of her, she’s rich and everything that a man and woman needs, she even likes you sica, from the story you told me, she’s still into you, and I hate listening all of that, that I feel like I don’t belong to you, I look down on myself and said I can’t give everything she have, and there’s a lot of negative things went on my mind, that’s why I walk out, I’m sorry, I just can’t control my angry and I don’t want to put those madness into you, but sica, what happen at the hospital, is real, I’m not playing tricks on you, I mean what I said to you that night, that I wanted to be happy with you, but I forgot all of that because of this disorder that I have in me, because I’m selfish I just do what I have to do and didn’t care about the people around me,  I’m really sorry,” I said while looking at her straight in the eye, making eye contact to her, for her to feel that I mean what I was saying now, her tears drop and moment later she was sobbing, and my heart hurt looking at her, of I let go of my crutch and walks slowly to her, she look at me worried but I walk again, I feel the pain in my upper legs but I endure it,

 

I walk and she looks at me like she didn’t believe what she see, I approach her and wipe her tears away and said

 

“There are a thousand reasons to love you sica” she look up at me and she didn’t utter a word,

“A lot of reason to love you, should I make a list for it?” she shook her head, and open but I silence her with my finger and said,

“i don’t want to lose you sica, I sigh and continue. I don’t want to feel those pains again, of losing someone I love,” she widens her eyes when I said love”

“yes I love you sica, and I don’t want to lose you” I said I’m still standing in front of her, my legs hurt a bit, but I ignore it. I saw her tears streaming down nonstop, she hug me gently and sobbing, I hug her and encircle my arms around her, and soothing her away, I feel happy when I said those 3 words, I’m really in love with sica and that’s why I feel so mad and jealous, maybe I was in love with her that I didn’t notice, she still hugging me for about 3 minutes and I feel my legs numb, and I lose my balance, but jessica held me and said,

“are you okay ____?” she look at me and we just have a small gap, wrong move, we end up kissing each other but I don’t mind, hehe

I give her a reassuring smile and said,

“Must be the limit that i usually not using those crutches,” she look at me confuse and I said,

“I actually practicing myself when I was alone, like every day, sometimes I fall down, or I can stand for about a minutes or two, and take a steps for about four to five steps I guess?” she look at me smiling and said,

“This is a good news ___”

“yeah I guess, and we should get down sica, I know I’m heavy” I said shyly, she giggle at me and nodded, I settle myself and saw jessica get my crutches and seat beside me, I said thanks to her she just give me a beautiful smile, she stare at me and I ask,

“Why are you staring at me like that sica?”

“I don’t know if I’m dreaming or not ___” I look at her confuse and said,

“Why sica?”

“I just can’t believe you said those 3 words that I’ve been longing for,”

I look at her and wanted to ask if we were together but I was scared and was still looking at her, she shake my shoulder and said,

“You want to ask me anything ___?” she beam a smile, and my heart beat fast, I grin at her and ask,

“What sica?”

She role her eyes on me and said

“tch pabo ___” she look away

“If I ask, would you say yes?” she turns her head

“It depends on what you’re trying to ask ___” I hesitate for a minute and gathered all my courage and said,

“Will you be my girlfriend?” I ask I saw her eyes twinkle and widen, I know she’s happy she was about to answer when I told her

“Before you answer I give you choices” she raises her brows at me and telling me to continue,

“You just have two choices”, she look at me and said,

“What it is then?” she ask confuse

“YES or YES” I grin at her, and she giggle at me and said,

“haha thanks for giving me a choices that’s

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
hopeless09
ill be updating loving you is all i need ^^ wait for it,,,, haha

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Movie91 #1
Still hoping to see an update from you, dear author.
Jayzxn #2
Chapter 67: OOOF they’re going to meeeettt ayeeee
majesticcircumflex
#3
Chapter 63: nice plot author :) looking forward to the next chapter
Movie91 #4
Chapter 61: Gasp
Jayzxn #5
Chapter 60: Ty author for continuing hehe
Jayzxn #6
Chapter 60: Ty author for continuing hehe
Jayzxn #7
Chapter 60: Ty author for continuing hehe
Movie91 #8
Chapter 59! I haven't seen the content yet but seeing chapter 59 made me excited :)
Jayzxn #9
Chapter 58: Please update thisss at least give this ?masterpiece an ending