Taeyeon.2

 

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Taeyeon’s pov:

 

 

 

I was still at the han river, looking at nowhere as heart feel so empty and lost, it was so heavy that I can’t contain the feeling I have in me, I don’t know what to do in my life right now, I don’t wanna lose ___ but I have to this for her, and sacrifice everything and I hope someday she will going to understand me,

 

I look at my watch and saw that it was almost 10pm as I forgot about ___, I was about to stand up when I hear my phone vibrate, as I get it and saw ___’s message, I smile a bit and open and read it,

 

 

From:my___

 

 

Tae where are you now? I’m worried, message me if you got this,, saranghae,

 

 

 Smile plastered on my face when I read her message but I feel so much hurt building in my heart, as I just dialed her number and waited for her to pick it up, after just one ring she immediately answer it and said,

 

‘tae where are you now? Are you still in your house?’

‘ahmm I’m going home now ___-yah,, did you eat already?’

‘no I haven’t tae. I told you I’ll wait for you right?’

‘you should have eat and shouldn’t waited for me.’

‘but tae, I want to eat with you, it’s too lonely to eat alone.’

‘okay, I’ll be going home now, so wait for me.’

‘okay tae,, I love you.’

‘I love you too ___.’

‘take care tae ill see when you’re here.’

‘okay bye’

‘bye’

 

She hangs up, as I just look at my phone, how am I supposed to leave her? What am I going to do with her? She will hate me, but I really need to do this, I’m sorry ___ I love you too much that’s why im doing this for you,

 

I put the phone on my pocket as I decided to go home, she’ll probably waiting for me,

 

After moment I was here in our apartment, and I was hesitating to go in because I know, she will notice that something’s wrong with me, as I heave a big sigh and turn the knob, as I slowly went inside, but I saw her looking at me confuse and I was about to talk when she said,

 

“why are you being so sneaky tae?”

“what? Sneaky? Of course not.”

“well you just did, you walk slowly and carefully like you’re afraid or something”

 

I look at her as if I was just being funny and laugh at her, but she look at me intently as she said,

“do you have a problem?” I widen my eyes but immediately withdraw it as I laugh again and said,

“what’s wrong with you ___? I don’t have any problem okay, as to why I was walking slowly, I just thought you were sleeping already that’s all.” I look at her seriously but she examine me but she didn’t get any response and she just shrug it off, how can she really know me, god this girl, I saw her walk closer to me as she hug me and said,

 

“you don’t need to say if you don’t want it tae, but if you’re ready to talk about it, I’m always here for you” I was shock when she said that, I wanted to cry right there the moment she hug and said that, but I don’t want her to know what am I about to do after a month,  can I really hurt her and leave her after month? What will happen to her? What will happen to me? I bit my lips as I don’t want to cry in front of her, I don’t want to burden her, i feel her hug release as my tears just slid down on my face as I immediately hug her tight preventing her to see me crying, as I heard her say,

“tae too tight.”

But I ignore her and continue to hug her, she just let me, after some moments I hear some noise, as I release the hug, and look everywhere, I look at ___ and she was so red and i raise my brows at her, when she give me a what look, I shrug it off when I hear the noise again and this time I saw ___ looked away as she was biting her lips, I was about to talk when I heard the noise again, and ___ mumbled.

‘why now stomach you could’ve waited, you just embarrassed me’

 

I laugh at her as I saw her looked at me confuse and said,

“you didn’t heard that right?”

I shook my head but I laugh hard again, as she pouted and said,

“it’s your fault, I’ve waited for you and you just came home right now”

But I was still laughing hard when she sulk and walk away from me, I called her while laughing but she ignore me and continue to walk away, I wipe the tears away as I followed her and saw her seating in the couch and sulking as I chuckled and went to her and seated myself beside her, as I look at her but she look away, I hold her chin and force her to look at me, she was pouting and I was holding myself not to kiss her hard, as I said,

“okay I’m sorry if I just got home now, as I told you awhile ago you could’ve just eat by yourself ___.”

She didn’t answer as she pout more as I chuckled and decided to kiss her I hold her face with my both hands as I kiss her, after moment I feel her response to the kiss and I smile while kissing her, the kiss turn into passionate I wrap my hands around her neck as her hands wrap on my waist, as I feel her hands exploring around my back, I feel myself being lay on the couch and she was on top of me still kissing me, after minutes she release the hug as she look at me lovingly, she kiss me again from my lips to my jaw she travel down on my neck and she kiss me gently and minutes later she found my soft spot as i moan, I feel her hands caress my thighs as I cant held being turn on by her, she was about to undress me when I hear her stomach  growl as she look at me grinning, and scratching her neck and she was mumbling

‘stupid stomach, wrong timing’

I chucked at her as I told her to get off me and she obey and I sat up and look at her, while she was mumbling over and over again as I snap her out and told her,

“it’s okay ___ we can continue it later on but for now let’s just eat okay?”

She look up and nodded, I saw her standing up and said,

“we should eat now, tae maybe you’ll change your mind haha” I smirk at her and she drag me to the kitchen and saw that she already cook and told me to wait because she’s just going to heat it up, I nodded and sat myself and just look at her,

 

 

 

 

 

 

A month after

 

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It’s been a month and I know I have to leave ___, I’ve been getting mad at her even if there’s no reason, we just came back to our anniversary in jeju and it was my happiest of my life as I still can spend the time with her,after weeks before that, I’ve been ignoring her and even become mad for nothing she was asking me if I’m okay as to why I’m always mad at her, but I didn’t get her any answer and she just told me that maybe I was just tired from my work, guilt was building inside my heart and I don’t really want to hurt her,  but what now? I was just making her hate me so I could leave her, I always cried at night without her knowing, and she was asking me if I got problem but I ignore her again, and I just went to work and get busy myself and forget the hurt I was feeling inside,

 

 

After that night dad called me saying if I already broke up with her, and I told him that I was going to do that tonight and my dad said that I really should do it or else she’s going to make ___’s life miserable, I gritted my teeth and held myself, my dad is being stupid right now, I want to hate him so much but I can’t because he is still my dad,

 

My work’s done as I get ready to get home, I went to the basement and went inside my car as I started the engine and drove off,

 

I went up to our apartment as I turn the knob, as I open the door I close it again and saw ___ looking at me asking me why I just got home now, I told her that I’m tired and want to go to sleep but she was asking me nonstop, I shouted at her and she widen her eyes, I was shock too but I know that I’m planning this for her to hate me, we got into an argument, we always did, and I was making this to happen for me to be able to leave her, she still asking me and I was so tired and she just told me that we will talk tomorrow, it’s been weeks that I go home late as I don’t want her to know what I’m planning to do, planning to leave her, I saw her eyes that she was hurting, and I know she’s in the verge of crying but preventing herself not too, maybe because she doesn’t want me to be worried, I wanted to kill myself for hurting