As I arrive at the place where taeyeon and I meet. I just wanted for her to arrive, im actually holding some flowers for taeyeon and peas doll I know she will love it. As I look around this place is really nice, actually a lot of couples come here, it actually the namsan tower, a lot of couple wanted to come here and just to try those locks thing, we did that to though, but it was like almost 5 years now, I just stop myself form thinking the past, I don’t want to cry now, taeyeon would be coming soon, it was almost 2 hours that I’ve wanted here and still no sign of taeyeon coming, I just think that maybe she was in traffic or something came up, I did call her but she’s not picking up.

6pm, still taeyeon nowhere to be found, I was getting ready to go home, when I saw taeyeon walking towards me, I give her a sweet smile. I was really happy to see taeyeon, I hear tae said,

Im sorry I was late.

Its okay tae your probably busy, its okay I said , tae nodded.

Do you want to have dinner tae? I ask hoping she would she yes,

I come here not to have dinner with you, you wanted to talk right? Now just talk . taeyeon said while getting annoyed at me.

I sigh and said,  “okay”  I hesitate to talk to her, and was looking at her,

Oh please just tell what you wanted to talk so I could go home now, im tired taeyeon said,

I sigh again and said, I just wanted to ask tae, what happen to us?

Taeyeon sigh,

I just want to know, if I’m lacking something? Am I not enough for you? Did I do something wrong to upset you? I ask to her, I just wait for taeyeon to response .

I heard taeyeon sigh heavily and said.

You’re not lacking ___ either not enough for me, she said while taking a seat and looking at me intensely, I just follow and seated myself infront of her, as she continue.

Is just me okay? I just don’t love you anymore, and i-i… she said but I cut her off,

You? I ask, why? Tae just don’t give me that reason,  just please tell me the truth,

She just keep looking down and not bothering to look at me, and didn’t utter a word, I just slowly hold her hand and said,

Please taeyeon just tell me, why you broke up to me? why? Why? I was getting impatient, feel like shouting at her but I held my self, taeyeon take her hand away from me and said,

Okay!!! Fine!!! She shouted, it was all your fault okay!!!

It was just my life , it was just evolve around you, im sick and tired following you around , your over protectiveness, I cant do anything I want, im scared because you love me too much, too much, that i feel suffocate, you messaging me always or asking where I was, or what did I do, im old enough ____ , I was suffocate in this relationship, I cant breath___ I just can’t live with you anymore, I just cant  bare with it, I grow tired  having you around me telling me what to do or not to do, you are worst than my parents, I can’t live and I do what I want, now tell me ___? Have you tried to ask me what I want, have you try if I want that or this? You are so perfectionist, you don’t care about what I feel, you just want to do what you wanted to this relationship, you just too much,, you can’t even give me space for myself, now tell me.. do you think im going back to you? to go back to that boring relationship? No I won’t__ and never will.. I already have move on ____, can you see that im happy now? Can you just be happy for me? can you just let me go? Im in relationship now, and Im happy with her, I don’t want to see you around , stalking me, can you just give me a peaceful life ____?, just what do you want me to do? For you to let me go?,, taeyeon said while crying  hard in front of me,

I was stuck at my position looking at taeyeon telling me about those things, and I didn’t notice that I was crying too, did I really suffocating tae? Have I not been supportive to her? Have I hurt her too much? Am I over protective? i thought’ and look at taeyeon crying,, I bit my lips to prevent from breaking down to her, it hurts me that I made taeyeon cry. And I thought she was happy with me for all those years that we’ve been together, I just gave her pain, I made her life miserable, my heart break looking at her begging me to let her go. Am I really too much? But all I did was to love her and give everything she wants but maybe she misunderstood all of it?. It was too much to see taeyeon crying hard, I promise myself that I will never make taeyeon cry and I never hurt her, but I just made it now. I couldn’t take it any longer, I stand up and said,

Okay, I bit my lips, and continue,, i- i- l-let y-you g-go, I said holding my tears .i continue.

Im sorry I made you cry, even I promise that I won’t. Im sorry if I make your life miserable that I thought you were happy with me, and I didn’t know that I suffocate you, sorry if I love you too much tae, I said while broke down at her, and let myself cry, I was crying hard now, as I finish, crying, I look up at taeyeon and saw her looking at nowhere tears are still visible in her eyes.

I wanted to ask you one last time tae. I said while taeyeon turn to look at me,

Have you ever loved me before? Did you give your all to me tae? I ask, taeyeon slowly nodded her head I just smile sadly at her and said,

n-no y-you don’t tae, cause if you really do, were still together now,

I look at her that I mean what I said, but she shook her head and said,

Yes I did loved you _____ I really do, taeyeon said and cried again,

Ha ha, past tense tae, I said while wiping my tears away,

But tae have you tried fighting it? Have you tae? You didn’t tried tae, you didn’t try saving the relationship, all I did was loving you , did everything to you, but have to tried? I thought it was all okay for you,, you didn’t try to talk to me, you’re the one who wanted to move out and live together, you want me to decide , I ask for your opinion but you just keep mum and didn’t talk, I thought it was okay tae, I try saving the relationship but all you did was to broke up with me,, I didn’t even know what I did wrong, you just left and you don’t want talk to me anymore,, you just left me a freaking message telling me that you want a break up? Am I just a toy for you tae? After you’re done playing you just throw it away? Am I not that important to you?  I said while crying

I just hear taeyeon said, im sorry, all the time when I was just talk to her awhile ago,

I just look up and prevent my tears, im so tired now, and I just finally said,

Im so tired tae so tired of asking your forgiveness, tired to beg you to come back to me. you didn’t give me any chance tae you just give up everything we have, I thought you love me forever tae, but I guess I was just too stupid, I really hope you happy now tae, and Im so sorry but tae I don’t regret loving you. I never did.. And I never will. But if you’re really happy now then, I let you go tae, and just promise me you won’t ever cry again, after I said that, walk beside taeyeon , seat in front of her and I wipe her tears away and said, I love you so much tae but I guess this is goodbye, I let go of my hands from her face and stand up and walk away from her,, and from her life now.

I was walking lifelessly, just walking in the road, my mind was not with me, image of taeyeon lingering in my mind. I just let my feet take me where it goes, and I end up in front of the university, so I just went in and ask the guard if I could just go even for just a minute, I look pathetic maybe that’s why the guard just let me in, I just walk and walk and stop when im at the back of the school.. it was where taeyeon and I hang out always, I just seat on the ground where taeyeon always seated before, and before I knew it, tears are pouring down nonstop, I tried to stop it, but I just can’t, my heart hurt too much. I feel my phone ringing I didn’t bother to look it up,  I was not in the mood and I’m just heartbroken now, my heart still hurt and tears are still there, I just stand up and walk home, I saw the guards and I just say thanks to him. I bow and continue going home, I arrive at my apartment, fish my key out on my pocket and unlocking my the door, I went it and go to the kitchen to get some drinks, I guess I really need it now at least im going to forget about her, just for now, I just let myself get drunk and the next thing I know I pass out,