Dreams

 

***

 

 

I was walking in nowhere as I hear voices, i called and ask who was it but they didn’t answer, I was confuse on where I was, stuck in the middle of nowhere, I just see white surrounding around, “am I in heaven?” I ask myself, I continue to walk as I see the light in front of me, I walk and walk as the light was fading, I was scared so I run as fast as I can, and when I’m on it, I saw a beautiful scenery in front me, as I was admiring it, I hear voices as I  turn around to look at it, I saw taeyeon in her white dress, I widen my eyes to see taeyeon there standing at the road smiling brightly at me, ohh how I miss her, smiling at me like that, I open my mouth to talk but when someone, spoke behind me and said “lets go taetae” and pass through me, I was confuse at why the person just pass by me, I saw a familiar figure, walking towards taeyeon and holding her hands and when that person turn her body from me, I look at them wondering, it was me and taeyeon, as I was looking at them , it was then, when I remember this,

 

 

 

It was our 4th year anniversary, when we decided to come here in Seopjikoji, Jeju Island, she was always planning to come here in jeju, and whining about that we should go on a trip. So I just granted her wish, and surprise her, she was so happy that time,

 

 

As I was still looking at the figures, I can help but smile and I know that I was dreaming, it was a bitterness feeling, but as the same time, I was happy to remember this, I look at them, holding each other’s hands, taking pictures and being sweet to each other, and didn’t care about the people around them, how I wish I could turn back the time, that we were together tae, and just stop that time, so I could be with you forever, but I know it will never happen again, as I was still behind them,

when they stop walking and taeyeon spoke.

“happy 4th year anniversary ___.” While holding a box in front of the figure me and smiling dorky at her,

The figure me just accept the box and open it, it was a two silver rings. As taeyeon was just looking at her, telling her to get the ring, the figure me just took the ring and ask.

“a ring? Are your proposing on me?”

Taeyeon just laugh at me and said,

“your assuming ___ you’ll be the one doing that”

“Me? Why would I propose to you”

“Yah”

“Im just kidding taetae, so what it is?”

“a phone? Of course? it’s a ring pabo”

“Yah I was asking why are giving me a ring?”

“Because”, taeyeon was hesitating and shyly smile at me and said,

“beause”?

Taeyeon look at me and smile,

“Your only mine and im only yours” I look at her confuse but she get the ring and show the ring in front of me and ask me to look at the ring, so I followed her and the ring has a message on it, it say

*Your only mine*

*I’m only yours*

I smile at taeyeon and thanks her ,i was the verge of crying, but taeyeon spoke and said,

“No crying alright I know im romantic not like you”

“Yah I’m always romantic okay, this is just so nice taetae” I told her and hold her hands, and she just look at me and said.

“So put it in my finger”?

“Yeah sure”

I held taeyeon’s hands and put the ring on her ring finger, and she did the same, when taeyeon said,

“You’re only mine”

And I look at her and said

“I’m only yours”

I smile at her and cup her face and leaning in to her, I saw her closing her eyes, I lean in and kiss her on the forehead and said,

“I”

“Will”

I kiss her on the nose.

“Always”

On the left cheek

“Love”

On the right cheek and lastly

“You”

I kiss her on the lips,

We share a sweet kiss and minutes later I look at her and said.

“saranghae my taetae”

Taeyeon look at me and said,

“nado saranghae my ___, I give her a peek on the lips again and hug her while holding her head and whisper sweetly at her,

“always and forever”

And taeyeon hug me and whisper too and said,

“Forever”

 

 

I was still looking at the figure and can’t help but cry. “You said im only yours taeyeon, but what happen now?”  My tears streaming down on my eyes , as I was still crying the surrounding is fading, I feel scared and the next thing I knew, I was in my apartment,

I heard voices screaming and fighting, i walk to where the voices came and saw me and taeyeon fighting,

 

“Where have you been tae? I’ve been calling you like hundred times now”

“I was on my friend alright”

“You should have message me that you’re going home late”

“look ___ im tired and going to sleep”

“just where have you been, you were out the whole day, and I’m worried sick because you’re not answering my calls,”

“I told you this morning that I’m meeting my friend you even told me okay, and now you’re mad at me?”

“Yeah I told okay but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to answer my calls,”

“for god sake ___!!!! Im old enough now, alright!!!”

“I know your old enough now tae but you can’t even answer my freaking calls!!!,”

“don’t shout at me ____!!!”

“you’re the one who started it”

“I didn’t shout at you”

“argggggg” I saw taeyeon grabbing her hair and continue

“look ___ im tired, really tired, I just want to sleep right now and I have still work tomorrow,”

“no tae where not done talking, you been out lately , but I didn’t mind it cause I don’t want to be nosy, but I’m just worried tae,

“oh god ___ I’m working too okay”

“your works ends at 6pm tae, but you just go home at 12midnight, do you think that I’m not worried about you, tae you’re a girl, what if something bad happen to you, if I call you, you didn’t answer it, sometimes you just hang up on me, I’m being patient lately to you, can you see what my point is?”

“Enough already ___, were done talking” she said while laying down but I grab her hand slowly, but she just slap me,

“what the hell tae,” I just want a good talk”

“Don’t curse at me”

“You slap me”

“Because you’re being paranoid”

“Im not being paranoid tae, I ask you why ,you are going home late this past few weeks?”
“arrggg can you just let me sleep”

I didn’t handle myself and shouted at her

“JUST ANSWER ME!!!!!!!”

I saw taeyeon jump a bit and look at me with a glare and said.

“Don’t ever shout at me ____,” I saw her heave a sigh and continue,

“Why are you always asking me where I go ___? I have a life too; I work and go home here, what you want me to do? Go to the restaurant and stay beside you? I’m not a kid anymore, I can go where I want or do what I want, this is not your life, its mine. She said while pointing at herself,

“all I ever wanted is to talk at you calmly but you start being mad at me tae, what’s happening to you, you’ve been distant to me lately, is just that I don’t see around here, is just that when you’re here, but you’re not really there, your mind is somewhere else, what’s happening tae?, do you have a problem? You said no secrets between us, but lately you didn’t talk to me, you just answer me with a yes or no, maybe. I just don’t know what’s happening to you tae? Are you mad at me? Did I do something that might upset you?” I ask her but she just stand up and look at me and said,

“I’m tired, really tired,” she was looking straight to my eyes, and I just let her and said,

“Okay I let you be, but were going to talk tomorrow,” I said while walking towards here and said,

“I’m sorry I shouted at you, go to sleep now” I lean in to give her a kiss on the lips but she look away and my lips just landed on her cheek, I just smile sadly, and walk away, but before I went out I said,

“Goodnight tae, saranghae,”

But taeyeon didn’t answer me so I just close the door,

I was in the living room, laying on the sofa, taeyeon seems distance to me lately, if I said I love you, she just hummed or nodded, or sometimes she just said, “ me too”, maybe she doesn’t love me anymore? But I shook my head and told myself that maybe taeyeon just have a problem, I close my eyes and drifted to my dreamland,

 

I look at my figure sadly, this was the night, taeyeon and I had a fight, I didn’t want to shout at her , moments later I saw taeyeon going out on the room and bringing a bag, and walks towards me on the living, and bent down, as I hear her say’

“I’m sorry ___, goodbye” she kiss me on the lips and, stand up, I saw her putting something on the table, and went out, I tried calling her, but she can’t hear me, I tried, hugging her but she just pass through me, I tried stopping her but I can’t, I can’t hold her. I just saw her going out of the house.

 

*The surrounding, went fading again, and now I was on the park, standing, I saw two figure standing behind a big tree, as I walk towards them, this is when, were taeyeon and I still together and ask taeyeon where she is that day, she just told me that she was working, so I just shrug my shoulder and went home cause I forgot something, but when I saw taeyeon talking to some girl, I stop the car and went out, I followed them and ending up on the park, I called taeyeon again but she’s not picking up and minutes later she message me, telling me that she was working, and don’t call again. I felt lose and confuse, taeyeon is lying to me, so I just followed them, thinking they are just friends, as I walk closer, I recognize the girl, it was tiffany hwang, taeyeon has talk to me about her  many times, saying, that she was her first love and a childhood friend. I just look at them, i wanted to go ask them, what they doing but, I don’t want taeyeon to be mad at me, maybe I was just getting jealous over her friend, but I cant handle it and walks towards them but I see tiffany kiss taeyeon, and taeyeon didn’t bother to push her, I was feel betray and hurt, I don’t know what to do, so all I did was run and went in to my car and drove off,*

 

 

That was the time I saw them together but I didn’t ask taeyeon about it, maybe it was just a friendly kiss, I keep reminding myself about it, and telling myself that taeyeon didn’t kiss the girl but tiffany was the one who kiss her, I was blinded by my love for taeyeon, and ended up forgotten it,

 

 

The vision was fading again, and ended up on some restaurant, I remember this, this is where taeyeon comes with tiffany,

 

 

 

*I saw my figure stalking taeyeon, because I misses her, I saw them, enter the restaurant and I followed them, they seated at the corner, and I was seated behind them but, 4 tables away from them, they being sweet to each other and I was getting jealous, the way taeyeon smile at her, the way she look at her, is when she was looking at me when were together. Moments past, I saw them going out of the restaurant, I followed them, they went to a car and drove off, I wave at the taxi and went in, told the driver to followed taeyeon’s car, they’ve arrived at the big house, and I just told the driver to pull over, I went out of the car, and hide myself, I saw taeyeon kiss the girl, and saying goodbye, when tiffany close the door gate, taeyeon walks away but stop and turn her