When i keep concerning Suzy's condition, i almost forget that my condition right now is not good too.
I heard that my merchandise in goodie shop is not selling well. Actually i don't really care about the goodies, but i realized how much people is dissapointed on me by looking at it.
But i hold on tight, my members keep supporting me. The facts that they already know about Suzy make them feel better.

" did you handle things with her?" Baekhyun hyung ask me on the plane that taking us to China for another concert.
" yes, we decide to try it, and make it works. the news already out anyway." i talk to him with low voice.
Honestly, i'm tired with all the hates that i received. Sometimes i wondering, what is my sin to be treated like this. What is wrong for falling in love.
There's a time, when i already typing my anger feeling on SNS, i want to lash out all my hurt feel. But i decided not to, i learn from Suzy.
He listening me well, when i told her about ignoring the hate comments. And after time to time i realized that i'm not that innocent.
I'm lying to my fans, i'm trolling them, i betrayed them, so here i am, alone, trying to control my anger, my sadness and my guilty feelings.

" what to do, our magnae?" Baekhyun hyung give a pat on my hair and i reply him with a smile.
" for this past days, i don't feel you as Oh Sehun, my dongsaeng, a sassy and brat boy." his words make me surprised and i lift my face to him.
" really? i don't even realized hyung, i'm sorry."
I don't realized? of course i know what i'm doing. I spend more time alone than with my members, i feel wronged to them. i can't face them and act like usual after this news broke out, after this news make our team mocked by people.
My members try to pretending nothing happened, act like usual but i can't.
Ton of people out there saying my team is such a careless team, for letting dating scandal happened only two years after our debut.
Not enough for my team, people called my fans, their fandom is a drama, for getting angry to me and hate Suzy.
If anyone should take the blame, there's no one but me.

The concert progresing smoothly, it went better than i imagined, i thought someone would throw me things or somethings, but they just so nice and good to me.
Fans in China seems approved my relationship with Suzy, in the airport i saw some of them is holding a banner about me and Suzy, and they look so happy.

When i cameback to Korea, my fear is suddenly increase. My korean fans seems really dissapointed and still throwing the hate for me.
And today schedule is fan signing event, i don't know how to react. i don't know how to face them.

" everything's will be fine." Suzy told me on the phone. Her voice can make me less afraid.