" want to come?" i ask her over the phone.
" do you think that's a wise choice for me to come?" she told me while give me an awkward laugh.
"i heard jia and fei noona is coming tomorrow. you just can come with them." i talk to her with low voice.
" no no, they'll come from dorm, i have schedule before your concert. what should i do?" She seems doesn't want to come.
" that's fine. you can see me next time."

After i'm dating her again, everything's feel slighty different from before. Suzy never said things about her worried if both of us tangled in a scandal.
But i know, that she's  trying hard to hide it from people, she always avoiding me if we met on an event. She doesn't want to have  date outside her home anymore.
When i told her about i try getting my driver license, she's not happy. When i ask her wether i should change my hair color to black, so i won't looks like idol when meet her. She's not happy either.
I feel there's so much things that makes her not happy from this relationship.

Befor the concert i met with Jia and Fei noona, who talk with Luhan hyung, i give them a bow.
" Suzy can't come. she said sorry." Fei noona talk to me while smile.
I give her a confused face, is Suzy already told her members the truth? I smile unknowingly becuse i feel that Suzy is open up to people about us.
" she told me that you is her highschool friend and invited her to the concert." she talk to me while smile.
I give her a nod, and walk away, my smile is gone. I'm only her friend for people across the nation even for her members, i'm only a friend.
I thought that she willing to tell the truth like i did. Not to everybody at least her members. but she's not.

Our concert in Seoul last for 3 days, not even once Suzy came. Even my teacher from highschool is coming to the concert but she's not.
Sometimes i wonder if i ask too much from her, from my famous girlfriend. Is it me who ask too much, or is it her who give too little?
I hold my phone on the car, we just going back from the concert venue, my members is all tired. We perform for three days. Everyone is exhausted.

" Maybe she just busy." Kai talk to me when he realized that i'm holding my phone tight.
" what do you mean?" i turn my face to him.
" i don't know that you'll falling hard for a girl like this, i remember when we were a trainee you always work hard like becoming an idol is your ultimate goal."
He talk to me while swipe his gaze outside the car door.
" i don't know, i keep falling for her, that time, when i work hard with you as a trainee, i've already falling for her." i talk to him while smile.
" it's nice, that my friend have somebody to love, to hold, somebody to fight for. ya! isn't that her?" he shake my hand and point her finger to the side of road.
i can see Suzy walking with her jacket, hat and masker. I look at my watch, 3 am.
" is she crazy? going out in this time? alone? try to call her." kai give me a sign to call her

I use my phone and she's picking up.
" where are you?" she ask me first before i can't talk.
" i'm on my way back form the concert."
" ah, right? i'm on my way to your dorm." she talk with low voice.
I feel a little angry, knowing she's out all alone in this time.
" i see you, just stay on where you are and i'll come to you." I hang up the phone and see Kai fixing his eyes to me.
" that's really her? daebak! either she's really brave or stupid coming to you like that." he talk to me while smiling and pat my shoulder.

• " i don't know."