Geun Suk

They left my sight after much giggling and coat-pockets loaded with gingko nuts. I had followed So Min ever since she left home. There was not much effort to keep my tracks hidden from her. I guessed I must had become really good at it as the same routine had been repeated daily for the past week.

It felt very low to act like a stalker. It was not my doing at all under normal circumstances. But what other choices did I have if I wanted to see her badly, yet not ready to come face to face with her?

Sighing, I took out a cigarette from my pocket and lighted it. This was the twentieth, maybe thirtieth stick that I had since morning.

This was a habit I had quit many years ago. However, I felt the need for carcinogen from the little stick. I needed it to allow my body to accelerate its deterioration.

Yes, the depression was enough to encourage the desire to just die. But I did not have the courage to pull my own plug, so I relied on the cancerous element as my accomplice.

“It’s not doing you any good puffing that much. The problem stays, doesn’t it?”

Lifting my sight to meet the voice, I grimraced and took in another deep breath of the cigarette.

“When there is a knotty problem that you couldn’t handle, you know you could always rely on me, “ he continued.

 “What business do you want with me, Mr Lee?” I greeted my interceptor.

Exposing his yellowish incisors, he reminded, “About our conversation yesterday…”

"Stop! I would be insane if I agree to your offer!"

It was not usual for me to lose my cool. He caught me at my most vulnerable moment.

I decided to walk away even though it was again, not me to behave that unceremoniusly.

Not about to give up in his sinister pursuit, he pressed on, "I could help you to get back your girl."

My feet stopped in its tracks, begging my mind to stay on to find out more about Mr Lee's proposal. I turned to face him, questioning my own values in times of desperation
 

So Min

Gleaming under the morning sun, the Kim & Lee building seem to tower ominously over my shattered heart.

I had returned for work finally after almost a week of hospitalization leave. My body has recovered completely from the bruises of the accident, but I could not say the same mentally.  There was simply too much that I did not want to come back to in this office. Yet, I had to return somehow.

The ride up to my office was the longest I had experienced since the day I first joined. At every floor when the door of the lift opened, I was afraid that I would come face to face with those whom I did not want to see. 

Why did I return? Couldn’t I just throw in my resignation and leave?

There was not much choice available anyway.

It would have been so much easier to just run away.

Even though I had wanted to succumb to the cowardly part of me, my pride got in the way.

To run away meant avoiding the problem. And I did not want to look back one day and regretted that I had not handled this episode of my life properly.

So, here I was…ready to face the worst moment in my life.

The door opened and I had arrived at my destination. Phones ringing mercilessly, incessant tapping on keyboards and my colleagues talking at the background immediately were what welcomed my return. My colleagues simply glanced at me with barely any emotion, gave me a quick nod and went on about their work.

A smile quietly crept to my lips as this mixture of hustle and bustle was the exact familiarity that I had hoped to return to.

Nothing more, nothing less…

Their lack of compassion over my unfortunate accident was not disappointing at all. Had they shown me more attention, it would add on to the pressure of coming back to face Geun Suk…Hyori….and Hyun Joong who might be resuming his duties anytime soon.

Taking in a deep breath, I took a step forward out of the lift with more confidence. Walking quickly to my desk with my head down. I switched on my laptop, as routinely as I tried to follow the moment I sat down and started scrolling through my mail to screen out for important mails.

Twenty mails later, things still were normal. I began to feel more comfortable and less sorry for myself on the decision to be at work again.

Well…the good thing was, I didn’t wallow in self-pity at this moment.

In my deep concentration on work, my phone vibrated. Without identifying the caller, I absent-mindedly picked up the phone.

“Hello. Jung So Min speaking,” I confidently spoke.

There was a short silence that left me cold in the feet.

And the caller finally spoke after a long second, “Hi…..”

My fingers froze on the mouse and it stopped scrolling. I thought had prepared myself mentally for anything. But just one word, and that was enough to crumble the defence I thought I had successfully built grain by grain.

I closed my eyes…bit my lips. My mind was screaming a thousand times that I’m not willing to face this person who will provide my heart with a safe haven, but yet could not fill the emptiness within.

“Please talk to me, So Min. Please don’t cast me aside. I need you…”

Hyori

“Come on in.”

Without hesitation, I obeyed his command. He gestured to me to sit by his bedside, which I hesitated a little. There was no place that I deemed befitting anywhere near him.

He patted on the spot by his bed again insistently and I gave in, reluctant.

It had been two weeks since the accident. I should have visited earlier, but I did not have the guts to do so.  Hyun Joong’s near death encounter was mine to blame.

I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes. If he could see the contents of my heart, he would be able to see guilt written all over it. I knew he would have suspected me of that lie to So Min. He should be mad at me now for hurting So Min, and thus indirectly causing his involvement in the accident.

 I swore that this was not how I intended things to happen. I never thought that So Min could have thought of suicide for she always appeared so strong. Never did I expect that my lie could break her down to this extent. And also little would I expect that her attempted suicide nearly killed Hyun Joong.

I had underestimated the impact of my revenge plan on them. Had I known that this could ensued, I would had done things differently. If this continued, I could not foresee what would happen in the future, and what would that made me at the materialization of my revenge.

Would my hands be tainted with blood of the innocent?

I came today because I wanted to apologise.

I wanted to stop using him and to tell him that it was all over between us.

I could not do anything more that would eat my conscience.

I wanted to end it all today.

“Hyun Joong, I’m….I’m sorry…” I stammered to find the courage to start.

“I’m sorry too, Hyori,” he cut in quickly. “I shouldn’t have doubted your love for me. I would be upset too and done the same thing.”

 I stared at him wide-eyed. That was the last thing I imagined he would say.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes.

“I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I promised that I won’t ever let you feel that way again. I’m sorry that I could not kneel down to do this properly.

Even if I don’t, are you willing to marry me?”