Geun Suk

“Hai. Wakarimaa, Tomoko-san. Aa mou isshouni ganbarimasu! Ja, matta aa!”

I pushed the ‘end call’ button and swiftly stuff my handphone into the pocket at the back of my pants.

Sigh….seemed like it would be an early morning again for me with the latest seven a.m. teleconference with Tomoko-san tomorrow.

And that meant that I had to have an early rest tonight – which also meant that my initial thought to have a great night with So Min would have to be postponed again

I gave out another sigh unknowlngly and strolled towards where I last left So Min, feeling disappointed that the night had to end at this infancy.

I found out that she was not at the bar counter anymore, which I thought she would stay and wait for my return.

Maybe she had gone to the restroom?

Or she was bored and walked off to explore the surroundings?

Or did someone up to no good coax her into following him to somewhere obscure?

Or is she taken by…?

My own words sounded absurd even to myself. The insecurity that I felt towards our relationship was downgrading me from a mature professional to a trembling kid, though it was only fraction of a second that she went out of my sight. Shaking my head and discarding such ridiculous thoughts, I asked the bartender of her whereabouts.

Apparently, the bartender did not have any impression of So Min being here at all. So, I decided to do the searching myself. It was rather hard to spot her among the crowd here. Moreover, the coloured spotlights that randomly cast their unearthly glow in the air appeared to play tricks on my eyes.

Then, I saw her…

Them….

Holding each other tightly…

 Despite the booming melody and chattering of party-goers surrounding me, my inner feelings projected an ominous silence in the direction I was staring at.

I was very sure at that, nothing was playing any tricks on my eyes.

So Min

I think I like you

Could you give us a chance?

Those words...

Those words…are words that I had waited for when he was on the brink of death.

I waited for him to wake up and profess my love for him and wished that he would say the same.

Even when Hyori took him away, I still did not give up on him. I hoped that he would someday remember me and would be able to understand how I felt for him.

There was elation, but something heavier pushed this feeling down.

I couldn’t bring myself to feel happy about this.

Hyori..

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“So Min, I am pregnant.”

My pupils dilated, almost enveloping all of my eyes, not wanting to believe what I just heard. Thoughbeing shocked beyond words, I managed to stutter. “What..what do you m…mean?”

“I am carrying a baby,” she murmured, but audible enough for me to hear.

“Hyun Joong’s baby…”

A wisp of fog clouded my mind as I felt myself losing a footing. My hands searched frantically for something robust to hold me up.

I could not breathe.

I could not breathe.

Help me.

Please tell me this is not true.

I wanted to pat her on the back to comfort her, but my hands stopped before it they could reach the intended destination, “Are…are you feeling well now?” 

“No, I’m not. I want this baby! I want this baby to have a father start my own family.” She covered her face with her palms and cried softly. “But  Hyun Joong may not want it.”

I was raised in a single parent family and I understood how lonely a child I had been. My heart broke upon hearing her words because I did not want another child to suffer the same fate as me.

I had wanted to take Hyun Joong away subconsciously. I did not make any efforts to stop the feelings from developing. In fact, I was happy in the two days spent with him. Now, I felt so shameful to have felt that way.

I could not bring myself to wrap my arms around her shaking body. I was in no position to do the noble job of making her feel better as I was the cause of her suffering. I dare not even show her the tears of guilt that had clogged my throat.

“So Min, could you promise me…?

“Yes?” I muttered weakly.

“Please don’t take away my happiness.”

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But I love him.

Hyori’s only happiness…

Hyori’s only family…

Is Hyun Joong…

I don’t want to be the reason she loses this bliss…

But I love him.

Because I love him, I could not bear to allow him to be a sinner.

Gently pushing him apart at arm’s length, I looked up at the eyes that were impatiently searching for an answer within mine.

It was hard but I had to do it.

“I’m sorry, Hyun Joong. There will never be ‘us’.”