Geun Suk

I was deprived of even a second with So Min as I was busy preparing for my trip to Dubai next week. I tried to catch her at breakfast but I was left disappointed when I found her desk empty in the morning. Messages to her only return more disappointment since she did not reply any of them. I gave the benefit of doubt that she was busy too, like me, as evidenced by the heap of files on her desk. I wondered why she was looking through all these old files that should have been burnt years ago.

As I approached her desk this morning with food in hand, I prayed that she would be there. I needed to see her before the end of the week. I needed to reassure myself that by the time I came back, she would still be here waiting for me. But the two days away from her had diminished this confidence in me, unlike the proud me who knew that any woman would surely fall head over heels in love with me at our first meeting.

So Min was somewhat different. Other woman would have pined for me to just a glance from me or a word with me. They would have dropped everything to run to my side when beckoned. And here I was on the opposite side of the fence, yearning for So Min’s attention. She got me crazy thinking about her everyday like a lovesick fool. I even struggled with the suspicion if she had been avoiding me. I wished that my suspicion was wrong. Gosh! I hate what she had turned me into! I felt so pathetic now!

All my frustration vanished when I saw her lying with her head resting on her desk. My steps quickened, as if she would disappear if I did not reach her sides any earlier. As I approached her, her body stirred and she raised her head. She suddenly jumped up and spun around, seemingly rushing somewhere else again. Before she could make another step forward, I rushed forward and held her stationary by her arm.  

“Where do you think you are going?”

She looked at me, puzzled, only managing to squeak, “Huh?”

“I have been looking for you for days and you did not reply my messages.” I took a closer look at her and realized she looked so haggard. Her eyes were weary and the light that used to twinkle in her eyes appeared dull today. Her hair was unkempt and she tied it up in an untidy bun. The tone in my voice immediately dropped from that of to reprimand initially to full of hurt, “What happened to you? Are you ok?”

She rolled her eyes and threw a glance towards Hyun Joong’s direction distastefully. “Nothing. I need to run some errands now.” With that, she broke free from my hold and scurried off.

I stared helplessly at her form quickly disappearing from my sight as she entered the lift. I only managed to catch hold of her for 5 seconds! I found myself questioning again if she avoided me deliberately. What was wrong with her? She was just telling me that she would give us the space and time to expand our friendship the other day! I walked to her desk and started to read her diary. It appeared that there were many to-do tasks written untidily all over the pages. I was astounded that there were so many things that she needed to complete over the two days but some of them were really simple tasks that could be executed by a clerk. I wondered why she had to do all these things on her own.  Amongst the messy inscriptions, So Min had aggressively written and deleted or rather attacked a particular word repeatedly with the tip of her pen. So aggressive was her effort that it created a deep depression in the page as though she was upset over whatever she was attacking. I analysed the depression with an investigative mind. I started to make the words to be ‘J..O..O..N..’  

It suddenly struck me that this could have something to do with Hyun Joong. I looked over to Hyun Joong’s table and found him apparently flirting with a lass, a new find yesterday I supposed, on the phone. Frowning upon the contrasting sight of his relaxed mood versus my busy So Min, I instinctively confirmed that Hyun Joong was definitely behind So Min’s heavy workload. I tried to keep a calm composure as I walked steadily towards him.

Hyun Joong whispered something into the phone to end the conversation as he sensed my presence. He looked up at me and tried to infect me with a broad smile which I reciprocated his smile with knitted brows. On realizing that his smile was not able to lighten the mood between us, he went straight to the point, “You are going to ask me about So Min, I assume?”

I nodded and pointed to the open diary in my hand, “Why are you doing this to her?”

He looked as if he knew what I was referring to and acknowledged without guilt, “I am giving her opportunities to learn, in my position as her sunbae.” He clasped his fingers behind his neck and leaned back to give his back a stretch, which appeared more like an effort to avoid eye contact with me.

“Hyun Joong, don’t make trouble for her at work over personal matters. She did not intentionally spoil your plans. I’m sure she has apologized to you.”

He breathed in deeply, trying to keep his temper in check for I could see his jawline tightened. He fixed his glare at me and pointed his index finger at me, “Don’t tell me what to do. I know what she needs to do and she will do as I bid her to.”

That was it! Tried as I could to control my own temper, what he just said was totally unreasonable to my ears. I raised my voice and snapped at him, “Hyun Joong, you are a jerk! A childish jerk! It was your own fault that you have no guts to face Hyori!”

He didn’t attempt to hold back his anger now, “I thought you are my brother and now you are provoking me over a girl you barely knew for two weeks? What spell has she casted over you?!” He threw his fist up in the air in exasperation.

I gave myself a light slap on my face and looked down to regain my composure. ‘Good job, Geun Suk. See what you have done. You wanted to mediate but you ended adding oil to the fire.’ I scolded myself. Sensing that the tense atmosphere would eventually ensued a fight, I decided to back down,

“Ok..ok…. Look, I don’t want to start an argument with you, or a fight. I’m sorry that I had been harsh with my words.” I took a step back while still facing him. “I’m going back to my seat now so that we could both cool down. But before I go, please, Hyun Joong, just have mercy on her. You know very well that what happened last week was an accident. Please do the right thing.” I turned around and exited the room, hoping that he would ponder over my last sentence.  

I sighed with an unsettling feeling that it was not within my capacity to clear the build up enmity between my good friend and the woman I had surrendered my heart to. Perhaps the only possible way I could come into the picture here is to continue giving So Min a sympathetic ear to unload her grievances while abroad. As for Hyun Joong, I always knew him as arrogant and self centered but this did not stop our friendship from blooming. Hidden behind the hostile façade, I unearthed a little boy with a painful past, a boy who suffered from low self esteem and confidence. Outwardly, he wanted to potray a strong character, but deep inside he was only trying to prevent himself from getting hurt and bullied. Perhaps his behavior was a result of his family background, which I had zero knowledge about. Of course, chatting about work and women are no taboos in our daily conversation, but going more personal to ask about his family and upbringing was deemed too sensitive to discuss. Contrary to the tough surface he tried to mirror through his sometimes childish actions, I also discovered that he had a compassionate soul, who softened upon witnessing others in compromising conditions. I had seen him going out of his way to help the unfortunate ones, but he always did it under anonymity. Therefore, it was his compassion that I hoped could be evoked to stop his ‘amusing punishments’ for So Min.

I arose from my thoughts to catch sight of So Min just entering the pantry at my floor. I sprinted a hundred metres to catch her before I lose her again.