Madam Jung

The morning whisked through like a breeze with laughter and more laughter. Hyun Joong was really an animated guest to have within our humble household. He cracked ridiculous jokes over every minute thing that my little girl did and that infuriated her so much that she kept whining to me over Hyun Joong’s teasings. This was a fresh side to So Min that I had never knew as she had always put up a brave and confident front with me. And now, I felt like her normal self was diminished to that of a three year old, giggling and sulking alternately at every few minutes interval. 

Is my little girl in love?

I hid my unproven suspicion behind my continuous silent observation of the two.

There was no doubt that they felt at complete ease with each other.

They flirted with each other without any reservations at all of letting each other know that they were interested with anything one or the other said and prompted for more.

There was no end of physical interaction when So Min playfully slapped Hyun Joong on his hand or back and Hyun Joong unabashedly enjoying every slap he received.

And it was definitely without doubt So Min had never allowed any of his male friends to send her home, even in her most unconscious state. Except for Hyun Joong.

Somehow, an inner voice whispered that my intuition was right.

So Min was in love with Hyun Joong!

My little girl is in love!

How this discovery unearthed a new excitement in this old heart of mine! A gush of glow surged through my aged body as I watched the two unpretentious lovebirds squawked around.

Hyun Joong seemed like a good man. He appeared to genuinely like So Min. And I was quite sure that he would be the someone to love and care for my little girl when I was not around in the future.

“Hey, you two!” I bellowed to the squabbling twosome.

They turned to look at me shocked, as if it was the first time they noticed my existence since they woke up this morning.

Well, who could blame them for being too engrossed with each other…

“I have enough of both of you. There is much to do around here and you are in my way!” I complained pretentiously.

“So, SHOO!! Bring Hyun Joong out of here so that I could get back to work!”

I shoved them out of the door as So Min grudgingly restrained from being pushed over by me. Meanwhile, Hyun Joong did not mind my bad manners at all.

“Sorry, auntie. We’ll leave now,” he apologized with a chuckle.

As they walked away, Hyun Joong turned back and winked at me. A giggle spilled from my throat and I winked back at him. He seemed to understand my real intent.

As I watched their retreating backs, I found myself shuddering. I could not comprehend if I was shaken by fear or by excitement.  I could not deny that I liked the idea of my girl in a relationship as I took an instant liking to Hyun Joong. It was a surprise of how I could immediately feel close to this young man and I almost felt like he was a son to me. I was undauntedly drawn to his charms and I really want to know more about him. But it was this familiarity that gave me an unexplainable, eerie feeling. 

Perhaps, it is just the fear of losing my darling daughter to a stranger …That’s all…

I should not think too much though. As long as Hyun Joong could promise So Min happiness, and as long as So Min could find love in him, my fear was the last thing that mattered.

I only purely wished for the best for my daughter. That was every parents’ wish for their precious offspring.

So Min

After breakfast, Mom immediately shooed us out of the house because she complained that I was an impediment to her quiet Saturday afternoon. I knew it was a lie, but I was left with no choice due to her incessant nagging. And so, Hyun Joong and I ended up at the nearest park for a walk to pass the time.

The afternoon was cool for it was early spring. The park was drowned by subtle laughter of children playing in the playground area and the melodious ringing from a nearby ice cream van. We strolled side by side, without speaking a word to each other for a good fifteen minutes. The silence was comfortable and I was contented to continue the rest of the journey like this, just knowing that he was by my side.

From nowhere, a ball rolled out and tugged gently at my heels. I picked it up and looked around for its rightful owner. It was then that we heard a child’s cry and we looked at each other puzzled. Guided by our telepathic messages through eye contact, we both walked towards the direction where we thought the cries came from. Indeed, behind the bushes was a little boy who was hugging his knees, sobbing.

I went to his side to give him a pat on his shoulder, “What’s wrong, little guy?”

Hyun Joong positioned himself behind me and looked at the boy with equal concern.

The boy raised his eyes to us with his tear-stained face and stuttered, “I couldn’t find my mommy. She must have abandoned me here because I was naughty this morning” As if he could not contain his sadness anymore, his muffled sobs grew louder into loud wailing.

Hyun Joong hugged him immediately and cooed soothing words, “No, no. She loves you and won’t leave you alone. She must be looking for you now. Come! We’ll find her.”

I watched dumbfounded at the speed he picked up the boy and started wandering around the park, yelling the mother’s name. I scurried close at his heels while following suit in calling out to the mother.

After an hour of search, there were still no signs of who we were looking for. The child, whom we later addressed as Jun Yoo, had calmed down and was now sleeping peacefully in Hyun Joong’s arm. Tired from all the walking, we finally decided to rest on a bench. Hyun Joong began Jun Yoo’s head with tenderness. Then, to my surprise, he began crying softly. I was momentarily stun as I did not know what came over him, and also this was the first time I had seen a man cry. Recovered from my shock, I whipped out a tissue and dabbed gently at the tears that slid down from his eyes.

He turned to look at me with gratitude. “I have this weird feeling, that I know exactly how he felt. And here,” he patted on his heart and continued with trembling voice, “could feel the exact pain.”

I remembered that he related in the past of his guilt of causing his mother’s death, and then abandoned as a child and treated like an outcast. Gazing at him, I began to weep.

Slowly, I stood up from the bench to move and stood behind him. Encircling his neck with my arms, I leaned forward and he automatically rested his cheek on mine. That was when he allowed his tears to flow freely.

I hugged him tighter, “It’s ok. I’m here.”

We remained in that position for as long as Hyun Joong wanted to sob away the fear and pain of his childhood.

It was really cruel. How could Heaven remove his memory but left him to be still haunted by the sorrow without knowing the reason for the pain?

Will his forgotten past ever stop haunting him?

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Bowwow

This chapter, i wrote a lot about love between parents and children, and of the fear of a child losing his/her parents. This was sparked off by a colleague's lost battle to cancer recently and she was survived by a 4 yrs old son and a husband. I was more shaken because her child is around my child's age.

As I laid in bed holding my child to sleep tonight,I thought about how many nights this colleague would have held hers ever so tightly, wishing that she would never leave him the next morning and would still be there to watch him grow up, step into primary school, graduate from a university, and then finding the girl of his dreams and watch him get married. And as I laid in bed with my child in my arms, how unfair is it for her that she couldnt hold hers in her arms right now, how much her boy would miss her embraces and would he ever remember how her mother's arms had felt like. I thought about if anyone else would love him as much other than his own mother would. How unfair that both mother and son has to be deprived from each others love.

And I thought how blessed I am to be still able to hold mine in my arms now and if fate allows, that i could see him through childhood and then adulthood...

Tonight, I chanted a prayer and dedicated the merits to this colleague. I ask that she would be relieved from all pains of her sickness and asked that she be free of worries of her child for he will grow up to be a useful man, as great as a woman she had been.

That is the minimum I could do for her, as a colleague

Sadhu..