http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFjKJc-Sn-w

~OKAY...SO!!!!!!~

BEFORE YOU START READING THIS CHAPTER GO THE ABOVE LINK TO LISTEN TO MY

FAVORITE SONG...FROM MY FAVORITE DRAMA!!!! IT TOTALLY ADDS TO THE AFFECT OF THIS CHAPTER

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT FOR THE WHOLE THING...like when T.O.P shows up shut it off because it really doesn't fit their (TOP/DEVON)

romantic connection...lol can't believe i just said that but W/EVS

WHEN I RE-READ THIS CHAPTER I BOO-HOO CRIED, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE THIS STORY IS ENDING SOON OR MAYBE IT'S BC I WAS

PMS-ing BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS SAD...but then again i could be biased because i wrote.

 SO....LET ME KNO IF YOU TEARED UP!!!!! or if you didn't...OR WHAT IT WOULD TAKE TO MAKE YOU CRY!!!

I NEED TO WRITE BETTER...SO LEAVE ME COMMENT...PLEASE

okay now to the good stuff...enjoy!!!!  

~~~~~

“Paije,” I knocked on the door. “Paije the door is stuck, let me in please?”

                I kept knocking but she didn’t open the door. I was jiggling the handle but the door wouldn’t budge.

“Did you hear me? I said the door is stuck!” I whined beating on the door.

“It’s not stuck you idiot…I locked it!”

“Hm?”

“I locked the door” she said. I could hear her voice yelling through the door. “You're not coming in here!”

“Very funny Paije, open the door” I groaned. “Hyun Joong needs to sleep!”

“But I’m not tired” he whined smiling turning on the T.V.

“Paije! Open the door!”

“No! I’m going to let you sit in this” she spat at the door.

“Sit in what?!” I shrieked.

“THIS GIGANTIC MESS!!!” she bellowed. “You are not going to run away from this problem! You're going to face it head-on instead of cowering in you're room!”

I began pounding on the door like Fred Flintstone. “PAIJE MARIE ANDERSON!!!! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!!! WHEN WE ARE OLD AND GRAY IN A NURSING HOME I WILL REMIND YOU OF THIS ULTIMATE BETRAYAL OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL WE FALL OVER AND DIE!!!!!”

“I’M FINE WITH THAT! JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON’T FORGET TO TELL ME HOW AMAZING I AM BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD EVER REPAY ME FOR DOING THIS FAVOR FOR YOU!!!!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. “Sweet Dreams Hyun Joong!” She sang sweetly.  

                I groaned even louder kicking the door.

“I wouldn’t keep doing that! We both don’t have enough money to pay for the damages in this room…goodnight!”

                I made a face at the room before walking over to the couch to sit on the floor bringing my knees to my chin. I buried my head in my lap.

“Hey! Look what’s on!”

“ALMOST PARADISE….ACHIMOBODA DEO   NUNBUSIN…NAL HYANGHAN NEOUI SARANGI ONSESANG DA GAJIDEUTAE! IN MY LIFE…NAE JICHIN SARME KKAJINA SARANGHAL SU ITDAMYEON!!!!

                My face glared at the television hoping it would catch fire like in the movie Matilda. I glared as I watched Yoon Ji Hoo, So Yi Jung, Song Woo Bin and Gyu Jun Pyo dress themselves in the recap of the first episode of Boys Over Flowers. The opening theme ‘Paradise’ by T-MAX was blasting through the television

“You have got… to… be kidding me” I said agitated as Hyun Joong began laughing.

“Oh! Tonight is really lucky for me eh?”

                I began slapping myself in the face. Damn Paije! And damn this situation! Was this night ever going to end…it had to be only what? 8:30? 9? I looked at the digital clock on the television and it blinked 8:45! Great…this night was going to drag. I knew it, he knew it and Paije knew it. Which is exactly why she left me out here to sit in it!

“Watch it with me?” He practically pleaded lying on his stomach resting his head near mine.

“I’m almost guaranteed to cry” I said as I scooted a little away from him tucking my knees closer.

“That’s why I’m here” he said propping himself up to reach the remote, he turned it up a little louder.

I settled in and in no time at all we finished watching the second, third, fourth episode and we were about to wrap up the fifth. Geum Jan Di was lying on the ground as we watched her bike burn to a crisp in the school yard. The flashbacks of Yoon Ji Hoo’s help were now playing mournfully in the background. Right on cue I began tearing up. Even with the actor sitting beside me, I began missing the character. I remembered the series, and how his character was always helping her throughout. No matter what the task, Ji Hoo was always bailing her out of trouble.

“Mian hae…Mian hae” Gyu Jun Pyo said caressing her lovingly.

                I let out a loud snort and I made a face at him as he carried her away to nurse her back to health.  Hyun Joong chuckled.

“What? You don’t like him?” he smiled.

I shook my head at the T.V and made a scowl. “I hate Gyu Jun Pyo! He’s awful.”

“Lee Min Ho is a really nice guy though!” He defended. “He’s such a good actor; City Hunter is a great show. You should watch it.”

“That may be true but I can’t forgive him for this show!”

He chuckled. “You make it sound like those are the real characters, and we’re just acting in real life!”

                I stayed quiet allowing him to laugh, but in fact that was exactly what I was insinuating. He was exactly like Ji Hoo. He was always bailing me out of trouble with a beautiful smile permanently plastered to his face. Just like Ji Hoo he protected me from any and everything. He was always giving me that easy going smile, no matter what I asked from him. Just thinking about it, I was starting to hate myself. Had this situation been a drama…I would’ve been screaming at my computer screen at my character. She was stupid!

“Why do you hate the character so much?” He asked changing the subject.

“He’s a jerk! He’s arrogant and selfish. He’s a gigantic pain in the ! He’s overly sensitive and instead of saying how he really feels, he makes the people around him suffer! I mean seriously? All of her problems are because of him! He’s horrible! And she’s dumb for not ending up with you!” I said passionately, almost choking on the last part.

 He looked at me hard; I could feel his stare trying to pierce my soul. “Isn’t there a saying you American’s have?”

“Huh?” I said playing dumb.

“A saying for these types of situations!” He sat up and tried to explain. “A small teapot? And a color? Its like on the kitchen stove or-”

“THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK!!!!” Paije yelled from the door, she smiled and closed it shut immediately locking it again.

“Oh neh! Gomawo!” Hyun Joong yelled with a smile. “The black pot calling the black teapot!”

“How do you figure?” I said waiting for an answer.

“OH! He’s horrible! All of her problems are because of him!” Hyun Joong imitated my voice by raising his to an extremely high pitch. I didn’t want to laugh, but the way he was sounding it was hard not too. “You can be so obtuse sometimes”

I laughed even harder. “I am not obtuse” I said playfully hitting him.

“I would think that he would be your favorite character…especially since you're dating what you just described” he smirked ducking his head.   

                I couldn’t say anything, but the smile on my face had faded. I turned my head back to the television and we were at the part in the fifth episode where the main group goes to Caledonia. Geum Jan Di and Gyu Jun Pyo were eating beside the water.

“Just like Jan Di, you're really dumb for not ending up with me” he said solemnly. “Can you at least tell me why it’s him…and not me?”

                I looked down. He scooted closer to me, his legs brushing against the side of my shoulder. The ending credits to the show were beginning to play. An up-tempo of ‘Because I’m Stupid’ was playing and I smiled, weakly laughing as the song mocked me. I was stupid! This song was directed towards me. The next episode was beginning and I sat up a little straighter. My face scrunched up realizing that the program was now beginning to go out of order. Yoo Ji Hoo had just saved Geum Jan Di from drowning and was now relieved that she had survived. We were in the middle of watching the end of the Caledonia trip, right before all of the drama really started.

“Do you know what its like to be nothing but a burden to the woman you love?”

                I watched the televised Hyun Joong deliver his line flawlessly before pulling Jan Di into a hug. This drama was not helping, but thankfully she was now running away from him and talking to Jun Pyo. The scene changed to Yoo Ji Hoo sitting on the beach holding Jan Di’s anklet. I was 30% sure that this was the worse drama to watch at a time like this. It had cut to the fishing scene with a smiling Ji Hoo fishing with Jan Di. ‘Because I’m Stupid’ was playing and I smiled even bigger, realizing the irony. Thank God it quickly changed into one of those awkward Jun Pyo Jan Di kisses, saving me from fully tearing up. But then the scene changed to Jan Di and Ji Hoo hugging once again on the beach.

“Why didn’t I like a girl like you?”

                Ji Hoo’s signature sad piano melody began playing and that’s when the tears really started. And at the repeated chords I began getting angry. I hated fate! I hated Karma! I hated whatever had brought me here! I thought Karma had had its revenge when it attacked me in the stadium hallway. Never in a million years did I expect her to be this cruel to me. Offering me the two things I wanted most in the world…and then suddenly yanking them away. This was more painful than anything I had ever experienced.

                The episode was wrapping up, and it somehow cut to the middle of the competition scenes. Ji Hoo was overlooking a race track and as the little miniature Ji Hoo began crying, I completely lost it.  Hyun Joong reached out to brush my face, but when I looked at him all I could show him was hatred.

“I’m fine!” I said brushing his hand away. “It’s just the show!”

                He looked at my face, which gave away the lie freely. He could tell that this drama had very little to do with my tears at the moment. In truth? I hated this opportunity. But most importantly I hated that Hyun Joong was right. He was exactly like his character, which is why I had fallen for him.  He was sweet and kind. He was thoughtful and protective of me the entire time I had been here, and what had I done? Brushed him aside as if he were nothing? No…what I did was much worse. I abused him for my own selfish gain.

                When I turned to look at him, his eyes were patiently waiting for mine as always. Guilt had crept in the atmosphere and I knew that I had to escape. Paije might’ve locked me out, but there were definitely other places I could go. I had to get out of that room…I couldn’t stand his serene personality suffocating me with understanding and compassion, especially when we both knew I deserved to be treated worse. I got up from the floor, but when he finally realized that I was trying to leave his hand caught my wrist before I could move it away.

“Let me go” I wailed. “Don’t touch me!”

“Devon” he said calmly.

“NO!” I said fighting his arm off. “Please! Let me go!” I was still trying to tug my arm free.

He said nothing standing up, but his grip on me got even tighter. I didn’t care; I was attempting to sling myself away from his grasp. He grabbed my arm with his free hand and slung me into him. His arms wound around my body keeping me in place as I thrashed against him.

“Let me go…please” I begged.

                I broke down, giving up all resistance. I was crying pathetically against his chest soaking his shirt with my tears.

“Why?! Why?!” I cried into his shirt.

                His arms held me tighter.

“Why are you just so perfect?!” I cried tasting the sweet salty mixture of my tears. “Why can’t I have you?!”

                He led me to sit down on the sofa. He was curling himself around me while I lay against him. He kissed my forehead while gently rocking me slowly. I felt one of his arms wiggle out from under me; he clicked off the television in one swift action.

“What’s wrong?” I said quietly turning to face the off television.

“You're crying...you tell me” he answered rubbing my back.

I gave him a very weak attempt to smile; my entire being felt polluted. “I told you we shouldn’t have watched it.”

“I didn’t know it going to be this bad” he said still worried. “But if this is what it takes to get us talking…I guess it was worth it.”

He took his hand and brushed it over my cheeks, before cupping my face with his hand. I sighed resting my face up against the contact. Even though I had stopped blubbering, I couldn’t stop tearing up. My eyes becoming so full of water, before spilling over.

“Stop crying” He said ducking his head to kiss my cheek. “Even though you are beautiful when you're this flustered,” he half-smiled.  “I don’t like seeing you like this”

“I can’t help it” I confessed. “I’m so upset!”

“With?”

“I can’t keep you!” I said tearing up some more. “You can’t imagine how much I want to be with you”

“I can guess” he sighed pressing his lips on my forehead. “Devon…why can’t we?”

                Was he serious?! He couldn’t have been serious?!

“That’s not even possible” I grumbled.

“It is if you say so!” He said holding me closer. “You are the only one standing in the way of us.”

 My eyes filled up again and I shifted away from him. Why was he making this so difficult?

“Is this because of T.O.P?” He hedged leaning away from me to see my face.

It was of no use, my face was buried in his shirt. “He’s just one of many reasons.”

“Name the others!” He demanded.  “I know there’s a way to solve this.”

                I sighed heavily as the tears spilled over. He was fighting for me. The determination on his face was the hardest thing to face. He wanted me…and honestly? I wanted him too. How could I not? He had been so wonderful to me. He was my ideal in true form, offering me the chance to be bliss. But I knew I didn’t deserve it.

“Hyun Joong” I shook my head. “I have thought about this so many times. We can’t-”

“Just name it! I’ll fix it” he said crushing himself to me.

“I’m going back home in-”

“Well I’ll visit you-”

I shook my head even harder. “You can’t! You have schedules and tours! You have an amazing career and it’s your dream!”

“You make it sound like I never get a break!” He found some small joke and smiled. “I’m not saying it wouldn’t be difficult…but it’s not as impossible as you make it sound-”

“Hyun Joong…I will not allow you to commit career suicide because of me! And another thing-”

His pinched my lips closed; I didn’t even bother grumbling against him. “Jeo joh-ahaseyo?”

                My eyes spread at the meaning; he asked me if I liked him. I nodded quietly and surprised that I didn’t need a translation. He brought himself to me, and at the last possible second he released my lips with his fingers to kiss me. It was soft and sincere. Definitely more passionate than our first kiss, but this one contained a bitter element. As he kissed me, he was silently showing me what I could have. All of the feelings of our time spent together came rushing back and as I kissed him.

 “Why would fate allow me to have you…when I can’t keep you?” I groaned when we finally broke apart.

                He groaned even louder realizing that I hadn’t changed my stance. I brought one of my hands to one side of his face and I began tracing his features. He closed his eyes at the contact. I felt the warm skin that curved around his bones. My fingers traced his lips, and when he parted them I could feel the hot air escape. I couldn’t even begin to explain all of the ways that I had grown to love him. Describing what he meant to me…was like describing the sky. No words could express the affect he had on me. He ducked his head lower to mine resting in his arms.

“If I knew that it was going to be this difficult, we never should have met after the airport!” I said upset.

My head was resting on his chest, my legs extending out the length of the sofa. He was cradling me like an overgrown baby. One of his hands was supporting my back, while the other draped itself across my stomach. He was playing with my hands, intertwining them together.

“Devon…I’m not sure why destiny chose this for us,” he said bringing my hand to his lips. “But I don’t regret anything” he finished kissing the back of my hand. “No matter what happens after tonight…I just want you to know that I can handle whatever you decide as long as you’re happy. But I need a promise in return….” He spoke slowly; I could hear the sincerity behind each word.

                I waited quietly for the catch.

“I need you to promise me, that you won’t choose Seung Hyun for the same reasons you're denying me.” He finished, his voice was firm and solid on his request. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you being a hypocrite…you're too good for that.”

                I couldn’t speak I was thinking over his request.

“If you love someone you should be with them…or at least be without them so they can be happy” he stated earnestly. “But if you choose him…choose him because you love him. Not because he’s your bias.”

I stayed quiet.

“Promise?”

“I promise” I said resting in his arms.

               He kissed my head again and shifted lying next to me on the couch. I snuggled my back to his chest lying beside him, his protective arm wound across my waist pulling him closer to me. He turned the television back on and it was another episode.  Ji Hoo was playing the signature piano opening to ‘Because I’m Stupid’ in his family’s art institute. Instead of the song hitting home as usual…it smashed open my heart instead. My emotions were gushing out of my soul, forcing me to relive each glance or touch they gave me. Every laugh…glare…joke…like it or not I couldn’t forget T.O.P.

“Hyun Joong?”

“Hm?”

                He answered like I was pulling him away from a distant train of thought.

“I do love you…but I love him too” I confessed honestly, before silently weeping myself to sleep.    

~

                I was sitting on the floor watching him sleep. It was early morning and I knew that I was going to have to go get dressed to go to the photo shoot in a bit; but for right now? I was perfectly content watching Hyun Joong convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. The sun was up, and it literally was kissing his face with brilliance. The blonde hair had a more golden aura that cascaded down his face. He was breathing heavily; his arms were fixed in a position for me to come back too. I didn’t feel comfortable there…or maybe I felt too comfortable? Either way I was sitting on the floor admiring him as he slept peacefully. What a mess I had created. Two guys…one girl. How was I supposed to choose? Automatically the answer hit me. It slapped me hard in the face; my head sank in defeat at the decision.

“Morning?” A quiet whisper said.  

                My head popped up as Paije stepped out of the room. I didn’t even answer her, but I got up and shuffled to the room. When I looked at her, her smile faded. I knew what she was hoping for. She was hoping that forcing me to talk to Hyun Joon was going to solve everything, and that I’d be so happy choosing him that I’d forgive her for locking me out. Her smile faded because she knew that none of that was ever going to happen…at least not today.

“Dev-” She began but I cut her off.

“I just need a shower…I have to leave soon for this video and I don’t want to be late.”

                Paije looked at me like she was really upset with my choice.

“This is not what was supposed to have happened. You were supposed to end up with him” she grumbled. “Are you sure though?”

I half-smiled. “No...but thank you? I know you tried to help.”

                I rushed to the bathroom and began running the hot water. I stepped in quickly and immediately the hot beads of water soothed my soreness. I closed my eyes and felt the steam cloud the bathroom. My eyes were beginning to tear up again, but I washed them away quickly refusing to shed another tear. I had cried myself to sleep over these men, and it was time to stop. I wiped my face and left the bathroom shutting off the water. I wrapped a towel around myself and entered the bedroom trying to pick out a simple outfit to wear.

“He’s still sleeping” Paije said entering the bedroom.

                She went into the bathroom and I heard her turn on the shower faucet. I was pulling out a pair of leggings and a top when our hotel room door made a knocking sound. The knocking sounded urgent so I rushed to the door, hoping that whoever it was hadn’t awoken Hyun Joong. T.O.P was standing at the door preparing to knock again. He looked at my appearance; me in nothing but a towel with my hair wet and curly, and immediately became uncomfortable.

“Can I help you?” I said with a slight edge.

“You-You should go put some clothes on! What’s wrong with you answering the door in just a towel-”

“Shhh! Will you please keep it down?” I said to him as his voice kept rising. “People are trying to sleep.”

 “Is it safe to come in? Or is Paije still upset” he tried joking but I wasn’t having it.

“I’m not so sure now is a good time” I said hiding behind the door. “I’m not even dressed yet-”

“Devon! Don’t be such a poor host!” Paije said walking to the door. “Let him come in” she sneered.

                T.O.P nodded and smiled before stepping into the living room. I closed my eyes waiting for the fury when he saw the handsome person lying on the couch. As always when T.O.P started his rant of Korean the only words I understood were ‘Yah’ and ‘Moyah!’ Paije was of no help; she was laughing hysterically in a corner.

“Enough!” I shouted and the three of them looked at me for a split second before continuing like they didn’t hear me. My nostrils flared and I marched over to T.O.P who was yelling at a lazy Hyun Joong. “I said ENOUGH!!!” I bellowed.

“This is some wake-up call” Hyun Joong laughed, but when I shot him a glare he stopped immediately.

“WHAT IS HE DOING HERE! IN YOU'RE HOTEL ROOM!” T.O.P roared. “YOU'RE IN A TOWEL!! AND I COME HERE TO FIND HIM SLEEPING ON-”

“ENOUGH!” I screamed. “First of all! You don’t own me! If I want him to stay he’s more than welcome too! And I don’t care how upset you get, but we needed to talk! ARRESSO?!”

                T.O.P looked like he had just been forced to eat a cigarette. Paije began cackling and that pushed me over the edge  a little more.

“PAIJE! IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE HELPFUL SHUT THE HELL UP! THIS ISN’T FUNNY! This is far from it! I’m caught in a love triangle where I have two wonderful men who I care about very much and I can’t decide between the two!”

“What do you mean you can’t decide between us?! The obvious choice is me!” T.O.P grumbled but I looked at him so fierce he bit his lip quietly.

“So that’s what you’ve decided?” Hyun Joong said understandingly.

I nodded knowing immediately that he knew my decision. “It’s what’s best for everyone!”

“What’s going on?” T.O.P said confused. “Did I win?”

I groaned. “NO! NO ONE WON! I’M NOT CHOOSING EITHER OF YOU!”

“WHAT?!” Paije screeched. “I thought you were choosing T.O.P! I Didn’t think you were dumb enough to not choose anyone!”

“She’s not! She’s choosing me!” T.O.P agreed with himself.

“Choosing between the both of you is like choosing between my right arm and my left…I need them both! I can’t just cut one off!”

“You’re right handed right?” T.O.P questioned. “Well cut off this left arm” he said jerking to Hyun Joong. “People do just fine with one arm! If a person loses one arm, they don’t cut off the other one! This makes no sense!”

“Seung Hyun! I cannot choose! I love you both…and I refuse to let this continue!”

Hyun Joong let out a great sigh, standing up from the couch. “At least let me know when your flight is” he said kissing my cheek walking towards the door.

                He waved goodbye and left me looking after him while T.O.P grumbled in his seat. T.O.P stood up and put two hands on the sides of my shoulder.

“Yah! What happened last night?! Why are you like this?!”

I held onto my towel tighter and ducked away from his grasp. I walked to the bedroom and locked the door getting ready. In fifteen minutes my hair was in a giant bun and I was wearing a pair of leggings, sneakers and a t-shirt hoodie. T.O.P was waiting in the living room and when our eyes met, a fresh glare was waiting for me as usual. I made a face at him and grabbed my workout bag to go to the lobby. I walked to the elevator and pressed the button, he kept right up with me. We stepped in and he pressed the lobby floor.

“So?”

                I didn’t look at him. I kept my eyes on the steel reflection from the elevator doors. 

“What happened?” He said stepping closer to me.

                I moved away and plugged in my headphones. I scooted myself to the corner of the elevator, to put even more distance between us. He grumbled something and put two hands on either side of the elevator corner entrapping me. He gently tugged at the headphones from my ears until they fell.

“I asked you what happened” he hedged.

“Nothing that concerns you” I answered back.

“If it’s something about you…it concerns me” he added just as quick. “Now what happened!”

                I breathed heavily as the lobby doors opened. I pushed past him easily and walked ahead. BIGBANG was standing in the lobby, and even though it was a cheap shot I took.

“Seungri Oppa!” I yelled happily running over to his side.

He looked at me with slight uncertainty but he returned the smile and gave me a side hug.

“Did you sleep well oppa?”

“Oh? Neh! Did you?! I need you to be well rested today” he grinned.

“Don’t worry! I’m fine! I’m not even tired” I smiled back easily before letting a yawn escape.

Sim Sunbae was in the lobby as well checking us off. “Alright! Everyone to the vans!”

                We followed him out and there were two black vans with yellow YG Entertainment symbols blazing on the side. Sim Sunbae was directing one for BIGBANG and one for V.I.P’s. I hopped in first and got a back window seat. When I looked to see the rest of the V.I.P’s getting in the van, T.O.P’s smiling face was climbing in the back to join me. I glared at him, but he just ignored me climbing over seats to sit with me. I put my hand out, covering the seat next to me and it took everything I had not to growl.

“Can you move your hand please?” T.O.P smirked.

“Can you go to the proper van? This one is for V.I.P!”

“I am V.I.P…for you” he said smiling and Aaliya and Anna swooned.

                I rolled my eyes letting him sit down. This was going to be a long ride.

~~~~

DID YOU CRY!!!! TELL ME!!! TELL MEEEE lol pce!!!