I Joined A Writing Club

Description

So, my writing has been in a funk so I joined a writing club.

Hopefully writing these one-shots will get me back in the swing of things. Maybe it'll spawn some new stories. But most importantly, hopefully it will improve my writing and feed my addiction for constructive criticism. 

If you wanna check out other stories or even possibly join the writing club : Open Writing Club (Accepting Submissions!) sponsored by heclgehog

 

Most of my guys/pairings will be BIGBANG or MBLAQ inspired...I'm really missing my guys. 

   

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taempteng #1
Chapter 1: I think the story is good. :D

Although, there were a few parts that irked me:
1. It's in 1st person.
Just my opinion, please don't take it personally. Although, I did kind of have forgot that this was in 1st person with the many dialogues there are and the little 'I [action]' lines. It's not until the last few parts that I remembered that this is 1st person, otherwise for 60% of the fanfic I thought this was 3rd person.
2. The word 'sarcasm'/'sarcastic'
Just my unpopular opinion, but I find a sarcastic statement losing its sarcasm feel when the author decides to point it right out about it. I think it would be better if the 'sarcasm' word isn't added, unless the characters are speaking with every ounce of sarcasm tone in their voice. Otherwise, if it's a statement that sounds normal but meant to be sarcastic, I think it's better to not write 'sarcasm'- just my thought, you don't have to agree of course. :D
3. A lot of scoffing
I don't know, but when there's so many 'scoff's, I just got the impression that these characters are really like? Or just really rude. Maybe you can instead use words like 'huff angrily' or 'laughed humourlessly' or something like that, at least the characters won't look like they're about to pick a fight 24/7.

Other than that, I think the story is great! (=^.^=) Great job!
oceansofxo #2
Chapter 1: Cute and light hearted. I enjoyed this short story.
OnceUponAnEXO 18 streak #3
Chapter 1: Oh, how sweet!!! (♥ω♥) The whole thing flows so well and is a prefect example of "show don't tell" done right. I look forward to reading your next submission!
upgrader #4
Chapter 1: I really enjoyed your writing style. Your descriptions and the way you developed the characters was just so rich and heartfelt. I can't wait to see what you come up with for the next prompt!
icytoes 27 streak #5
Chapter 1: Wow, this is sooooo good. Great job authornim.
whistles #6
Chapter 1: wow i really liked your intricate details and also your style, which "shows" instead of "tells". it's something i want to work towards! but ahh i think i'm missing something, the part where he tells her his name?
bb2ne1jp #7
Proud of you!!! I admire how you actively looked for something to improve your skills and creativity!
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