It was late afternoon a few days after Kim Hyun Joong had paid me that glorious compliment, and thinking about it still sent my body on a rollercoaster ride on top of a rollercoaster in outer space. It was stupid but I went to bed smiling every night. I felt like I could sing for days at my good fortune. I was starring out the window when I heard a cough at the door. I looked up expecting to see him but my shock stopped the smile from spreading across my face.

“I can leave if you-”

“NO!” I said way to loudly almost scarring him. “Please sit.”

                T.O.P strolled in taking the seat where Hyun Joong usually sat. He was dressed the most casually I had ever seen him be, a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie and a pair of sneakers; he looked like he was ready to go jogging. For a few minutes we sat letting the awkwardness take full effect. I had no idea what to say…it was difficult to remember what happened the last time I had seen him. When I couldn’t take the silence any longer I finally spoke.

“How are you?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

                His tone was different; it didn’t have the sarcastic edge I was beginning to become accustomed to.

“I’m fine. The doctors say I should be out of here in a day or two” I smiled at him. 

“So soon?”

“Soon?” I smiled bigger, “I’ve been here over two weeks. I’m ready to get back to the event-”

“Do you think you should?”

                I looked at him and laughed.

“What?”

“Why does everyone expect me to go home? I’m having the time of my life!”

“You call getting beat up the time of your life?” He snapped a little loudly at me.

“Thank you for your card” I said warmly, smoothly changing the subject. “It was quite…elaborate” I laughed at the irony.

At that he smirked sending my heart rate running. Thank God I wasn’t hooked up to a heart monitor..that would’ve been embarrassing.

“Don’t even, I know you loved it” he said tauntingly. “Besides, there wasn’t enough room for what I wanted to say.

“What did you want to say?” I looked at him amazed.

“Devon…How much of an idiot can one girl be? You should’ve known better than to go walking by yourself. Even though you are the most foolish person I know, I find it extremely admirable the lengths you would go to, to protect your friend. Feel better…T.O.P.”

“Oh c’mon it so could’ve fit.”

                I smiled and sat up on the bed. It was coming back…the awkwardness I could feel it closing in and the only way to keep it at bay was to keep talking.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Do I get one in return?”

“What could I possibly do for you?” I mocked.

                I figured it was a safe bet; there was nothing I could do for him. He was rich and famous, and I was just a college student from the states. What could I do for him?

“Doesn’t matter. Do I still get one?” he hedged using the full effect of his beautifully handsome face.

“I guess” I breathed out captivated.

He laughed “You first.”

“Can you keep talking so it doesn’t become awkward?”

His eyebrows furrowed obviously confused. “It’s awkward when I’m here?”

“Only when we stop talking.”

“Well what would you like to talk about?” He clearly had no idea what to say.

“Tell me what I’ve missed…how are the rehearsals going?”

“Really good actually; I have another one today in a few hours.”

“I wish I could go” I said wistfully.

“Impossible, Kim Mi Hi canceled all fan attended rehearsals.”

“Why would-”

                Before I could even finish the sentence he looked at me like I had missed the complete obvious.

“Well how did the auditions go?” I said quickly changing the subject.

“Auditions for what?”

“For what” I laughed. “For BIGBANG’s new music video! How did it go? Tell me everything!” I squealed.

“Oh” he said understanding. “We didn’t have them yet. It’s tomorrow.”

                My eyes widened in hope. If I got checked out in time I still had a chance to audition. But could I do it? I hadn’t tried to do any serious walking except for getting up to go to the bathroom and I was almost 98% sure that I would be stiff. Stiffness wasn’t my biggest fear though; my cracked rib took the number one spot. Moving was getting less sore everyday but dancing? Just then my doctor walked in.

“Anneyong” I smiled to him, T.O.P bowed choosing to reamain standing.

“Devon, how are you feeling today?” Dr. Lee asked me.

“Really good actually” I said grinning to my visitor who cracked a smile.

“Good…let’s begin the examination. If you pass you will be released as early as tomorrow morning.

“If she doesn’t?” Seung Hyun asked quietly.

“She’ll have to stay here a few more days.” Dr. Lee said pressing into my ankle. “Move it please.”

                I started flexing and twisting my ankle in circles. No pain responded to my movement.

“Stand up” he directed.

                I shifted my weight so I could stand, I got up and my knees began to buckle. T.O.P was standing up faster than I could protest. His arms winding under mine helping  me support myself. I gained my balance once I stood up straight. I nodded letting him know that I was able to stand and I could feel through his touch that he was reluctant to let me go…afraid that I would collapse again. I bent my knees, wiggling my body a little and experimented before I started really walking around the room. I jumped once and when I looked at T.O.P’s face all the color had left.

“Sir, please turn your back or exit the room while I check her side.”

                T.O.P left the room and waited by the door leaning against the frame. The doctor  probed and pushed my side feeling if the bones had set correctly.

“Turn and twist for me Devon?” He said demonstrating like if this was turning into a work out video.

                I did as I was told but I felt a twinge of pain and it flashed across my face.

“Did that hurt?” He said sarcastically fore he already knew the answer.

“No” I lied with great effort. “I’m fine.”

“Further problems can be avoided if you are honest. So I will ask you again…did that hurt?”

“No” I smiled. “It’s only because I’m stiff. Besides since I’m the patient I don’t have to stay here for treatment.

“Do you realize how stupid that sounds?

“It doesn’t matter! I came here to participate in a once in a lifetime opportunity-”

“Devon, your health should come first.”

“Either way I’m checking out of here tomorrow. I’ve been eating enough soup it’s coming through my nose. I’ve been restricted to my bed for over two weeks. And aside from being in the most beautifully exciting place ever, I’ve wasted a lot of time-”

“I would hardly call healing a waste of time” Dr. Lee protested.

“It doesn’t  matter…I’m going.”

                Every part of me wanted to throw a tantrum. I wanted to shout and jump up and down in his face telling him that I was leaving tomorrow. I knew it was childish but I didn’t care, I wanted to get back to the fun. I appreciated Dr. Lee for allowing me to vent knowing that was what I needed. After a while I asked a question.

“Am I fine everywhere else?”

“I don’t know, you tell me” he laughed.

“Yes” I unintentionally cracked a smile. “No pain anywhere else.”

“Well then I guess I’ll get the paper work started so you can be released.”

“Thank you!” I grinned as he walked out of the door shaking his head in frustration but then laughed walking away from my room.

                T.O.P walked in and sat. He looked like he was thinking hard about something.

“What’s up with you?”

                He looked up captivating me with his gaze. His light brown almond eyes somehow glinting in the room even on a cloudy day.

“I’m just trying to figure out why you are so eager to get checked out.”

“I’ve been here for weeks, don’t you think it makes sense?”

He breathed heavily. “You're not healed yet, it makes sense for you to stay.”

“I feel fine” I grinned.

“Stop lying to yourself. I heard everything, you're not fine” he snapped at me a little harshly.

                I was speechless with my mouth gaping open to protest but nothing would come out. I couldn’t form thoughts in my head…at least thoughts that wouldn’t win an argument.

“Can you at least tell me why you can’t wait another day or two?”

“No way!” I laughed breaking the tension in the room. “You're heated right now because I want to leave this place…imagine your reaction if I told you the reason. You’d hit the roof” I laughed harder before my side started paining me, forcing me to stop instantly.

                He waited clearly not caring about my laughing fit. He seemed too occupied with my answer.

“I’m still planning to audition for the music video.”

                As soon as the words were out I wanted to push them back in, especially after I saw the look on his face. He was furious.

“Are you absolutely out of your mind?! You can’t seriously be thinking of auditioning for a music video the same day you are released from the hospital! You are by far the most foolish person I’ve ever met!”

                Even while he was yelling at me I couldn’t help but bite my lip in silent laughter.

“If you don’t mind me asking…why are you getting upset?”

“Sorry?”

“I don’t see why you care?” I answered honestly.

He was heated. “Someone has to care because obviously you don’t!”

“I do too care! Do you think I like being stuck in a hospital when nothing but pure amazingness is happening a few miles away?!”

“That’s exactly my point!” he yelled hitting himself in the head. “You completely disregard your own health for everyone but yourself! You're always looking out for other people when you can’t even look out for yourself and on top of that you are one of the craziest fans I’ve ever met. I mean seriously!”

                Okay he was back…I had been waiting for him to show up and the T.O.P I had gotten used to was here with the same edge and sarcasm I was familiar with. At that moment a nurse walked in and spoke something in Korean towards T.O.P. He apologized and the nurse left.

“If you're going to yell at me, please don’t visit” I said sitting up to keep from looking like a pathetic patient even though that was exactly how he was making me feel.

He laughed. “That’s exactly what the nurse said.”

“Tell me something…what was the favor you wanted?”

“I want you to tell me who did this to you” his tone was somber and quiet.

                I looked at him confused. I could feel my face twisting and turning trying to understand what he was asking.

“Why?”

“They told me that you refused to give up the names of the people who attacked you. I was wondering…well-hoping that you would make an exception and tell me.”

I was not expecting this. “I’m sorry but I can’t answer that.”

“Is it because you don’t remember or-”

“I don’t want to drudge up the past” I said playing with my hands.

                He grabbed them and held them tightly. He took his thumb and rubbed it across the back of my hand carefully. What he didn’t know is that with every he gave my hand it sent my body writhing in excitement.

“ Devon, I want to help you. But you are making it extremely difficult. Please just tell me” he begged.

“I don’t blame anyone but myself” I confessed refusing to look at him. So I focused on his hand instead.

                I wasn’t sure if he could tell but I squeezed his hand harder to make sure I was really holding it.

“You couldn’t be more wrong” he laughed with an edge. “Devon…this is my fault. I’m the reason you're lying here and I’m probably the reason why you’re trying to convince yourself to audition tomorrow.”

                I tried to tell him that he was just one of five reasons why I wanted to audition but he kept going.

“I want to protect you, but I can’t do that without knowing who did this so that it doesn’t happen again.”

“It’s not going to happen again…I’ve already figured it out.”

“This outta be good” he rolled his eyes.

“You guys have to leave me alone…that means no more party invites or special meet and greets with idols or-”

“So I take it this includes Kim Hyun Joong as well…if not it seems hypocritical don’t you think?”

“Hadn’t thought about that” I said quietly.

“How about we just skip the audition and I somehow get you backstage for the final performance.”

                His eyes were full of hope and I could see that he really thought that I would take this offer. On any other day I would have in an instant, but this meant too much to me.

“How about no?” I smiled. “You may be my bias, but it doesn’t mean I’m gonna fall for every trick you pull.”

“What do you mean?”

                I looked at him and then I looked at our hands still interlocked before smiling wickedly. He let them go in an instant and part of me wished that I hadn’t said anything but it was easier to concentrate now that he had let me go.     

“Even if your dumb enough to do the audition, there is absolutely no way I am going to pass you to be in the video” he smirked as he leaned back into his chair.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean if it’s up to me there is no way  I’m going to let you be in this video.”

“Why not?!” I shrieked.

“And have another incident like this one? I don’t think so. I meant it when I said I wanted to protect you…even if it means from myself. I will not let this happen again.”

“You are the last person I thought would sabotage me” I grumbled. “It doesn’t matter, I’ll find a way.”

“Oh I know…you are one of the most persistent creatures on this earth” he said ruffling my head. “Don’t worry about it. Try to get some sleep.”

~~~~~~~~

                I fell asleep reluctantly with him in the chair. I knew I had been dreaming when I felt a pair of lips touch mine with the slightest hesitance. The pressure from the contact was nice and unexpected, and it was quick but it felt lingering. In the dream I had opened my eyes to see who had kissed me, but instead of a person I saw different colored butterflies hovering about the room and over my head. The hospital had sprung up vines and flowers turning my little hospital room into a magical land. There were two figures in white standing in the middle of the field…one was T.O.P the other Hyun Joong. There was T.O.P standing handsome as ever with his light chocolate hair in a loose button shirt and pants. Hyun Joong’s trimmed ginger hair blew softly in the breeze and he stood elegantly in a white button down shirt and vest with white pants. I saw my dream self sleeping on a cool flat surface that resembled the resting place of snow white. They looked on me as I slept discussing something.

“Is it safe to say that you don’t like me?” My dream T.O.P asked dream Hyun Joong.

“It’s far more than safe for you to say that”  he smiled his signature smile.

“I need your help with something.”

“I’m guessing this is Devon related”

“She’s planning to audition for BB’s music video tomorrow”  my dream T.O.P said flatly.

“What would you like me to do? Keep her occupied?” Dream Hyun Joong smiled bigger.

“Just until the audition is over” Dream T.O.P began rubbing his forehead in frustration.

“Did you try talking her out of it?”

“She has to be the most stubborn person I know! Nothing I tried worked. She’s determined to go through with this. I’m going to try and convince the rest of the group to not pass her through no matter how good she is. I don’t want to see her get hurt…and even though she won’t admit it, she’s not completely healed. Her side is still messed up.”

“I’ll do it, but only because that’s what’s best for her. Plus…it’ll give me a legit excuse to ask her out.”

                T.O.P’s fury flashed across his face.

“Look…I’m not asking you to babysit so you can get with her. Trust me, if I could do it myself I would.”

“I’m not so sure I like your tone Seung Hyun” Hyun Joong added a smirk. “I can’t help it if I like her.”

“You can choose not to do anything about it! Keep it strictly at an idol-fan relationship.”

“What I just saw was not at an idol-fan relationship.” Hyun Joong challenged.

“Watch it”

“I plan to.”

                 DreamHyun Joong hedged walking over to the dream me and sitting beside me while dream T.O.P left my dream looking back at the both of us before disappearing from the scene. When a random  dog came out of nowhere and meowed,  I knew it was time to wake up. I opened my eyes to see Hyun Joong…the real Hyun Joong sitting next to me in his usual spot.