I glanced around our table and a fresh wave of fandom erupted from my body. I knew that I was going to combust from excitement at any second so I excused myself to look for the bathroom. They pointed around the corner and I rushed away from the table before I lost my cool. I practically ran into the bathroom jumping up and down in euphoria.

“I’M HAVING DINNER WITH BIGBANG!!!! I’M HAVING DINNER WITH BIGBANG” I screamed silently.

                The rest of the sounds that I made weren’t coherent let alone audible. I was jumping and flailing at dancing around the bathroom and when I looked into my reflection I totally had lost all signs of calmness. My hair was wild and all over the place from jumping and I was out of breath breathing heavily. I tried to calm myself down by taking slow deep breaths but with every intake of air, a new burst of excitement  erupted from my core.

“Okay Devon!” I said staring at my reflection. “Pull yourself together!!! It’s just…BIGBANG!!!” I squealed.

                I don’t know how many failed calming pep talks I gave myself before I was able to leave the bathroom. I held my head feeling my blood pressure spike, and I began walking down the hallway back to the table.

“Devon? Are you okay?” T.O.P’s worried voice asked me.

                I didn’t dare look up keeping my head in my hands. I heard him approach me, his footsteps were getting close. Next thing I knew his hands were on either sides of my arms and he was slowly lifting my body upwards so he could look at me.  My hands dragged across my face, witnessing the full effect of his height. His worried face peered into mine as I looked petrified. T.O.P was touching me again and I got a new set of chills at the revelation.

“Devon! Devon?” He shook me lightly. “Are you in hurt?”

                I felt myself smile goofily at his mistake and I nodded.

“Can you stand?” He said slowly taking his arms down from me.

“Yea..I’m good” I nodded regaining my balance. “Just too much excitement.”

                He rolled his eyes and backed away and I swear that eye roll was enough to collapse my ovaries.

“I’m going to go back now” I said embarrassed.

                I started to walk away but instead of letting me pass he said my name.

“Hm?”

“I wanted to ask you something.”

                I waited.

“Before you said that Like Nothing Happened was your favorite of me.”

                I waited.

“I was wondering why?” He finished waiting for a response.

I expelled a great deal of air before answering. “It was incredible, and it was so much better than the fan cams that I’ve seen.”

“But didn’t you say that Of All Days was your favorite song of mine?”

                I looked at him squinting an eye in questioning. How does he remember which song of his is my favorite? I told him that weeks ago?

“Why do you remember that?” I asked him suspiciously.

“Never mind…but why was Like Nothing Happened your favorite?” He said completely refusing to change the subject.

“Well for one thing I cried” I smiled. “You’re so passionate, especially with that song. I mean losing a first love  is not something most people want to talk about, and you turned it into something creative is not only beautiful but inspiring.”

He listened quietly.

“And when you started playing the harmonica…I completely lost it” I giggled.

“You did?” He grinned at me.

“Yea” I confessed unashamed. “The harmonica and the third verse are my favorite! It’s so thrilling!”

                He rolled his eyes and smiled before continuing to the men’s bathroom. I giggled and continued my walk back to the table. Paije saw me smiling and she gave me a questioning look but I laughed it off and returned to my seat.

“Come quickly! You're food is cold!” Seungri said indicating my already fixed plate.

                I sat down and began eating the food in front of me.

“Is it good?”

                I nodded and kept eating the meat and rice in front of me. It was delicious! The flavors were so prevalent and new, I really enjoyed it. I looked to Paije who was staring at me smiling. She was so happy and it seemed to radiate especially to Daesung. He looked like he really seemed to be enjoying her company. He was smiling non-stop. It looked like his face should hurt, but maybe the Smiling Angel was used to it by now. GD and Taeyang were having this in depth conversation in Korean and when T.O.P came back he had this enthusiastic conversation with Teddy. Seungri was so upbeat it was hard not to be bubbly around him. We talked about different dance moves and choreography.

“Before you leave, you have to show me your steps for Magic. I really liked your take on it” he smiled to me.

My eyes spread wide in shock. “What? Why” I laughed. “You're routine at the concert was 1000 times better than what I came up with.”

He scrunched up his nose. “I like your style” he grinned.

“I like yours too” I smiled easily. “I don’t know how to keep up!”

“If you amaze me like you did at your audition and you’ll be ok” he said confidently. “Just make sure you don’t scrunch up your face as much. It looked painful” he laughed.

                I smacked myself in horror. Hyun Joong was right, my pain did flash across my face. But I’m glad he thought it was emotion.

“Were you in a lot of pain?” Seungri asked rubbing my shoulder. “That’s what T.O.P-hyun kept saying.”

“I was fine” I lied. “He thought I was in pain?” I looked at T.O.P who was laughing and talking to Paije and Daesung.

“He was pretty upset when I picked you” Seungri added. “He said that you had been through enough, and that you were going to get hurt again.”

“He did?” I asked taken-aback.

“But I told him you’d be fine!” He said confidently.  “Every one had a fair chance! You were the best, so it seemed right you would get a spot!”

“Thank you, again” I said sincere.

“Besides…I just think T.O.P-hyun just wanted you as a partner for himself!” Seungri laughed.

“Well…I’m yours” I smirked at him and I watched his face as a slight blush rose to his cheeks.

                I continued eating just appreciating the moment. The smiles and laughter that surrounded the table were numerous, everyone seemed to be having a good time. I ducked my head down smiling to myself.

“What are you so smiley about?” Teddy bumped into my shoulder.

                I looked at him grinning ear to ear. I had no words, I was officially speechless.

“She must be fanning again” Paije teased but then added a quiet squeal.   

                The whole table laughed.

“It’s amazing how BB can change your mood so quickly” Teddy added.

“No! I was fine before. I was with you too remember?”

“Aniyo! This girl was sad and crying in the studio-”

“Teddy!” I whined.

“And when BB shows up you're all giggly and smiley” Teddy added mocking me with a girly foolish smile.

                I wanted to be mad at him for making fun of me, but when he opened his mouth in my signature gaping face I lost it. He had it almost perfect, even my blank stare and I laughed really hard at his impression.

“Is everything okay Devon?” Taeyang asked genuinely.

Seungri nodded fiercely in agreement. “You can tell me! I’m your partner!” He said excited.

“I’m fine…really!” I said smiling.

                And I was, as long as BIGBANG stayed in the vicinity. Was I absolutely positive that my mood would deflate as soon as Paije and I said goodnight to them? Of course. I felt awful before and I knew that feeling was going to creep back and get me in the night. I looked up at T.O.P and I swear he was trying to engage me in this fierce stare-down. It’s like he was trying to quietly force me to tell him what was wrong. For a second I felt that he could possibly relate the most but…I would never tell.

“When do dance rehearsals start?” I asked smoothly changing the subject.

“Two days after tomorrow’s Farewell Breakfast” GD said finishing up his soup.

 “You're going to come right?” Daesung asked Paije directly.

“Why?” She turned to face him surprisingly calm. “WE AREN’T LEAVING!!!!” She squealed before bursting out in laughter.

                I laughed with her in elation while the rest of the table froze to stare at us. Eventually the other members joined in and we picked up the conversation.

“Even so, you both should be there” Daesung smiled; but I had a feeling this was directed more towards Paije than to me.

“Yes!” Taeyang demanded. “This is the last chance that all V.I.P’s will be together like this!”

“Of course we’re going to go” I said finally easing their worry. “It’s more time we get to spend with you!”

                Paije and I grinned at each other totally comfortable with spending more time with BIGBANG. The waiter came back and Teddy took the bill. G-Dragon got a phone call making him the first one to leave, he waved goodbye before going into a rant. I looked after him watching him walk out of the restaurant door to turn the corner in the direction of YG. My mood wavered a fraction but remained constant when I realized I still had T.O.P, Taeyang, Seungri, Daesung and Teddy. It just wasn’t a full set!

“Do you think you could meet me a day before actual rehearsals?” Seungri asked me suddenly.

                Through my peripheral vision I saw that T.O.P had jerked his head upwards at Seungri’s request. I turned to look at him and he had rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of him. He used his elbows to lean onto the table and I looked at him confused with his behavior.

“Uhm… why?” I asked politely.

“You’ve missed a lot, and I was hoping that I could help you. You know, one on one?” He was smirking.

                One on one with Seungri! Holy mother of snap! This could not be happening! He was so nice.

“Oppa” I said politely.

                He smiled at the use looking more goofy than anything, all traces of cool had left.  It was adorable to witness up close.

“That’s really nice of you, but I can’t do that.”

                What had I just said? I began searching the air for the words I just said hoping to eat every one, making him forget the stupidity that came out from my mouth.

“Why not?” He said clearly unaffected by this slight rebuff.

“No special treatment from BIGBANG” T.O.P said quietly.

“What do you call this?” Seungri gestured to us all.

“Special  treatment from Teddy?” I winced afraid of saying the wrong thing.

                Teddy fell out in laughter. He grabbed his sides and laughed before patting me on the back in approval.

“That’s right Dev! I’m not a part of BIGBANG! I’m Teddy Park” he beamed at me.

                T.O.P broke into a smile and I legit felt my left lung collapse.

“But…that’s not fair!” Seungri pouted shamelessly. “You need to practice and I’m your partner-”

“If you want to practice with one of us, shouldn’t you make all of us?”

                Seungri mumbled something in Korean and all of the guys chuckled. Paije and I looked at each other confused before I looked to Teddy and Taeyang for a translation.

“He says that you sound like Ji Yong-hyun” Taeyang translated with a smile.

“She does! If one of us practices, we all should!” He mimicked GD. “Sometimes you need to practice by yourself…with your partner” he added slyly.

“She’ll be fine” T.O.P said confidently. “We have to make the steps easier anyway because of Daesung’s partner” he teased.

                Daesung flashed a glare at him and T.O.P smiled really cheesy. I thought it was one of the most adorable things I had ever seen. And I felt myself smile goofy again; I wiped it away quickly before Teddy could tease me.

“Plus she’s a better dancer than T.O.P so I doubt she’ll have any trouble” Daesung challenged before making a face at T.O.P.

 “Yeah…probably” T.O.P shrugged smiling.

“I still say it would be okay” Seungri mumbled.

“Don’t worry Seungri, I won’t let you down! I’ll have another winner teach me the routine! It’ll be great!”

I shrugged my shoulders before turning to Teddy. “Thank you for dinner.”

“Don’t sweat it Dev.”

                We all rose up to leave and the seven of us walked out of the restaurant. Paije and I waved goodbye before turning down in the direction of our hotel until someone grabbed my arm.

“Hey! Wait up!”

                I turned around to face T.O.P. I knew it was him, only he could wrap my name around his beautifully deep voice and make my vital organs collapse. I froze locking my knees in place somehow trying to look cool. He was walking towards the both of us, reaching us in only a few strides. When he got to us he brushed by us walking a few steps ahead. My head jerked in confusion as I stared after him. I turned back around to see Daesung walking to meet us.

“We’re going to walk you back” he said clearing up our confusion.

                In that instant Paije dropped my arm and gracefully walked over to stand next to Daesung whose eyes were bright from humor. I rolled my eyes and followed T.O.P’s footsteps trying to catch up. He was leaning casually up against a telephone pole waiting for the rest of us.

“Dae’s coming?”

                I nodded keeping quiet.

“Well let’s go then” he said abruptly.

“But what about Paije?” I said pointing behind me.

                He grabbed my hand and pulled it down, wrapping his fingers around mine. My eyes grew wider in disbelief.

“She’ll be fine. We’re all going to the same place. Now play along” he commanded easily tugging me forward.

“What?!” I screeched but it faded out.

I tried pulling my hand away but he held on for dear life.

“Just play along! I don’t have a hood, so I’ll have to hide behind you.”

                He wrapped his hands more securely around mine. I bit my lower lip allowing him to drag me behind him. He kept rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand with gentle . Not only did it feel comforting, I felt my heart leap out of my chest with each touch. My whole arm felt like I had stuck it in an oven. Heat flushed through my body and I kept mentally yelling at myself to calm down.

“You're really quiet tonight” he said after a block of silence.

                I didn’t know what to say.  

“Is everything alright?” His tone became worried. “Are you sick?”

“No…I’m fine” I admitted.

“You are so bad at lying” he laughed. “Even when you feel awful, you say your fine.”

I smiled. “I’ll be okay. It’s just that I’m getting over something.”

“Hyun Joong?” He grinned calling me out.

                I looked at him feeling completely betrayed. What on earth had Paije told them?! I was gonna kill her. And to T.O.P no less! I opened my mouth to protest but no sound came out.

“What exactly do you know?” I glared at him.

“I know that you have a crush on him” he teased.

I pulled my hand away and stormed off. “Why would she tell you that?! She wouldn’t do that! You don’t know anything” I hedged trying to find any signs for a bluff.  But I clearly knew there was none…my reaction gave him confirmation.

“She would tell us because we asked her. We were worried about you so-”

                And right then and there I knew he wasn’t lying. Paije would protect our friendship and it’s secrets against anyone and anything except for our kryptonite. BIGBANG. I could see it just as clear. Each guy wondering what was going on with me, especially Teddy. He saw how upset and  weepy I was before BIGBANG so I could only imagine his curiosity. And Paije probably denied all of them except for when Daesung either asked or begged her to tell. Even I, her best friend was no match for Daesung.

“Paije lied! I do not have  a crush on Hyun Joong!”

“Well I’m glad, because you probably were just a fan to him. It’s better to keep realistic” He said stuffing his hands in his pocket.

                I felt like a two year old having a tantrum. It took all I had not to stomp on the ground and cry.

“As Paije probably told you, it didn’t seem like that when we kissed!” I said turning on my heel walking away fiercely.

                I barely got two steps away before I heard him shout in disbelief. He grabbed my arm and spun me around forcing me to fall into his chest. I looked at him fiercely! I was too upset to fan-girl otherwise I could’ve really appreciated how close I was to his face.  His eyes were furious and my lifelong dream of him yelling at me like in his video of Like Nothing’s Wrong came true. His arms forcefully grabbing my shoulders holding me in place.

All I understood was “YAH!!!” and “MOYIAH”  because the rest was in a slur of Korean.  

“Can I get a translation please?” I joked noting how red he was turning.

“What do you mean you kissed?!”

                I pursed my lips refusing to answer, but then it clicked that he was reacting like this because Paije hadn’t told them that part.

“Wait a second…Paije didn’t tell you that?” I said horrified.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KISSED?!” He bellowed at me looking like he wanted to jump up and down. But then he started laughing and it was weird because it made him seem bipolar. “Wait, he gave you a kiss like I gave you” he said touching my forehead with his finger.

                I swear I felt like Harry Potter when Lord Voldemort touched his forehead for the first time. His arms relaxed from my shoulders and he let me go.

“Sure” I said walking away from him allowing him to enjoy his good mood.

                But then I thought about all the times he made me upset and all of the times he hurt my feelings or embarrassed me to the point of tears. And I figured this was the perfect time get back at him so I turned around and looked at him. I took my right index finger and raised it to my parted lips and smiled wickedly as I indicated that was where Hyun Joong kissed me. He shouted again and walked hurriedly after me.

“When?” T.O.P ordered.

                I looked at him innocently.

“When?!!!!!” He roared and I broke into laughter.

“Why are you so upset?” I giggled having way to much fun watching him have a tantrum. “I don’t remember.”

                That had to be one of the biggest lies I had ever told. I could probably recite the day and time when he kissed me.

“Was it before or after your audition?” T.O.P said a little calmer.

“On the day of” I said throwing him a piece of useless information.

                What did it matter? It was never going to happen to me again.

                You know how when you watch a drama and the main guys face starts laughing in a serious situation because he’s so overly pissed. They really do that in real life. I had never seen so many emotions flash across one gorgeously beautiful face in my life. If this had been a fan cam I would’ve rewound that part so many times. I stared at him not seeing the big deal. It wasn’t making sense why he was so upset. He scowled at me before walking ahead leaving me to practically run after him in order to catch up. As soon as he saw that the hotel was in sight he pointed at it, indicating me to go on in. I smiled to myself, following his silent command. Surprisingly he came in behind me and I kept quiet finding an empty seat in the lobby.

“Why aren’t you going to your room?” He practically growled at me.

“I’m gonna wait for Paije” I answered easily.

                I was on the verge of getting upset, but the way he was acting made it impossible for me to. I saw a grown man pouting and glaring and it was hilarious. He was older! He was supposed to be mature and calmer. Not practically throwing a fit. He glared at me and not only was it extremely y, it was incredibly adorable going along with his attitude.

“Would it make you feel better if you just yelled at me?”

“What?!” He yelled.

“I meant in Korean, so therefore you feel better and I won’t get my feelings hurt.”

                I looked around the downstairs lobby. It was empty except for us and the man at the front desk answering phone calls and typing things on his computer. T.O.P looked at me long and hard.

“I can’t” he cracked a smile unintentionally.

“No it’ll be fun and you’ll feel better.”

“How will it be fun?”

“I’ll tell you after…just do it. It’s just us…c’mon!” I said relaxing even more into the chair.

                I smirked egging him on and right on cue he exploded into a flow of Korean. This man was clearly pissed. He kept jabbing his finger at me and his voice would change in pitch, I guess to simulate Hyung Joong’s lighter sounding voice compared to his. Then he stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of me. I knew he was talking about Hyun Joong a lot especially when he started singing some of SS501’s songs like ‘Love Like This’ and ‘Love Ya’ and he was probably comparing them to BIGBANG because then he started rapping a part from ‘Haru Haru’. It was absolutely hilarious to watch him mimic Hyun Joong, he would change his voice to sound all girly and high pitched. T.O.P even cracked a few times, and he even found himself laughing along too. But then things turned serious as he looked at my laughing face. His voice took on a more somber tone and for some reason I felt sorry for him. The way he looked at me was like he was dying from not telling me something important. He finished sitting back down.

“Feel better?” I said after a while when he sat back down.

“No” he said suddenly.

“Not even a little bit?” I asked. “You were hilarious!”

                I squeaked in glee. I always knew T.O.P had a really funny sense of humor, but this was just the icing on my life.

“I wasn’t trying to be” he rolled his eyes in a smile.

I laughed harder. “Yea, but you were!”

“T.O.P-hyun!” Daesung yelled at the door.

                T.O.P and I stood up and faced him and Paije.

“See you two tomorrow” T.O.P said striding over to the hotel counter to talk to the guy at the desk. “Okay…let’s go.”

                T.O.P left and Daesung waved to the both of us leaving. As soon as they were out of sight I rushed over to the front desk.

“Excuse me…sir!”

                The man turned around and looked at my face as if he were expecting me.

“Can you translate what that man just yelled?”

He shook his head no.

“Please” I smiled and even felt my eyelashes flutter. Paije smacked me across the head for me to stop.

The man laughed before waving a 50,000 Won note in our faces.

 “Sorry miss, he paid me not to tell.”

~~~~

so to all of the readers who pay attention to the picture, i clearly and fully realize that on the sign the characters are not hangul...instead they are chinese. i kno this but i liked the picture so i put it up anyway.

lol much love...pce!!!