I awoke to the sun streaming into the hospital window warming my feet. I yawned rubbing the sleep from my eyes allowing the room to refocus before smiling at the angel sipping something from a Styrofoam cup.

“Here again?” I smiled yawning again.

                Kim Hyun Joong was casually sitting in the chair placed at the foot of my bed with his legs crossed. When I looked at him I could tell from his body language that he was upset. Okay, maybe upset was too strong of a word, he looked more annoyed than anything. Maybe annoyed was a strong word, but something was definitely bothering him. I could tell he wasn’t listening to me when he shook his head and gave a weak smile towards me.

“You're finally up.”

“And you're here again” I noticed.

“Yea…well I don’t want you to miss me too much” he joked.

                I beamed at the thought, me casually talking to Kim Hyun Joong. No matter how often he visited me, which was pretty often because he took it upon himself to see me whenever he could; I couldn’t get over it. The fandom within me never got used to it; every action and word sent small shivers through my body. I prayed that this wasn’t something people just got used too, it felt too good to just get used too. I sat more upright reaching under the my pillow to pull out the coloring book I had been working on. He looked at me and chuckled until he saw my puzzled face.

“Do you always keep coloring books under your pillow?”

“Only ones given to me by you” I said unashamed opening the pillow case to reveal the others stashed away inside. “I have to make sure their kept secret” I smiled.

“Why? They’re just coloring books. Don’t tell me you keep the juice boxes I bring you too-”

                I pulled out one of the nightstand drawers to take out a flattened juice box with the straw still poking out. He laughed so hard examining the box seeing the date that I wrote on one of the sides.

“You're unbelievable” he hollered. “It’s just ordinary stuff, you can get it anywhere-”

“But you gave it to me…and that makes it special” I said bringing the coloring book to my chest and giving it a squeeze. “Plus, you put messages in the books. I’d be killed if people knew that I had been given something by KIM HYUN JOONG!!!” I was squealing.

 He rolled his eyes. “It’s that kind of stuff that got you here in the first place.”

                The grin left my face before I could catch it. But then I was reminded of all the stuff that happened to me that caused me to be targeted. The private time with T.O.P after I fainted and the car rides I had with Lee Seung Gi and Hyun Joong. The amazing duet I sang with Taeyang and how I danced with Seungri. A photo shoot with Daesung and then sharing fries with G-Dragon? And to put the icing on my life, I was kissed by T.O.P!!!  I decided right then and there that it was worth it. The bright  grin returned to my face and it stayed there.

“What’s so funny?” He grumbled.

“I’m not going to say…you’ll just get more upset” I answered opening up a coloring book.

“Can I ask you something?”

                I nodded taking out the crayons to color a new page.

“Are you still a fan?”

“Of you?” I looked at him innocently. “Of course! You’ve been so wonderful how could I not be?”

“That’s very nice” he laughed. “But I was referring to BIGBANG.”

                My head swiveled up and looked at him like he had just asked the most stupid question in the world. It probably was, but I chose to remain polite. Had it been any one else to ask me that I probably would have bit their head off.

“Hyun Joong-oppa! I’m a true V.I.P; it’s going to take a lot a lot a lot a lot more for me to stop being a fan. Besides this wasn’t their fault” I laughed nonchalant.

“But it was!” he argued. “It’s their fault you’re like this! And the way you can just forgive them-”

“They didn’t beat me up! A group of jealous girls-”

“This brings me to another point! Why are you protecting them? Are you afraid they’ll do it again? I don’t know what to say?”

                He looked sad. Truly sad. It was like he couldn’t understand why I chose not to reveal the group of girls who beat me to a pulp. To be totally honest I couldn’t understand it either. His expression was so down hearted and confused I felt obligated to explain.

“It’s not their fault I’m like this-”

“YES IT IS!” He shouted pointing out the obvious.

I sort of laughed quietly; he began to protest but then shut his mouth so he could hear what I had to say. “I blame no one but myself Hyun Joong-ssi. Something was bound to-” I took in a deep breath. “It’s over and I’m even with the universe” I smiled.

“Karma…that’s who you're saying is responsible? Karma?!”

                He seemed upset, but I think he was more agitated especially with my constant smile but I  couldn’t help but be happy.

“Karma put me into the most lucky situation in the world and in return I got beat up. She was really wonderful to me…in fact I thought it was a fair trade.”

                He groaned and slapped himself in the forehead. I colored happily finishing the page before turning to a new one. I wanted to tell him how there was no way that I was going to be depressed about this situation. Too many good things happened for me to feel sad. I hated that he was, but I refused to let him bring me down as well.

“Hyun Joong-ssi” I nudged his knee with my foot. “Hyun Joong-oppa!” I whined giving him my best impression of an apologetic Korean girl.

                He whipped a look at me so fierce it sent a fresh chill through my body. I made a face at him trying to break through his anger. I kept making funny faces at him until the nurse came in to check my bandage, and even while she was wrapping my ankle I made a funny face that finally made him smile before he got up and left so she could re-tape my rib. I found the bagel on the nightstand Hyun Joong had left for me and I began eating. He came back just in time to see my face puffed out like a chipmunk. I rolled my eyes and kept chewing; every time this man always caught me in the weirdest or most embarrassing situations. 

                In no time at all the morning passed quickly; around 11:30 the nurse brought me a steaming bowl of ramen. It smelled delicious as usual, the only problem was that they had been giving me ramen at least two times a day for the past two weeks. I smiled and bowed at her as she placed it in front of me. When she turned her back I glanced down at the noodles to glare at them pushing them away from me. Hyun Joong pushed it back giving me a look worthy of a father. I smiled at him and pushed it away again.

“Eat” he said pushing it to me.

“No more, I’m still full from yesterday, plus the bagel you gave me this morning. I don’t think I’ll need to eat ramen for a while.”

                I was pouting. There was absolutely no way I was going to eat more, not even for him.

“Please Devon? You need to eat so you can get better”

                He was pleading and I knew right off the back I wasn’t going to give in. I had had enough ramen to last me a few months.

“No...I’m ramen-ed out!” I groaned leaning back onto the bed folding my arms.

“Annyeong!” A man said cheerfully at the door of my room.

                He was wearing a pair of dark colored sweat pants with a light grey hoodie and a white t-shirt. He had a smile underneath his full black beard that stretched across his medium size face. He was swinging a small bag that I automatically recognized was from the heavenly golden arches that I had loved so much. I didn’t care who this man was as long as he gave me that bag to save me from hospital food. He spoke something in Korean to the person who was apparently outside my door. After some serious grumbling and groaning on both parts, another man entered in too. They both went to sit on the bed because Hyun Joong showed no signs of giving up his seat. Even though being in the same room with these men felt awkward I was still polite, so I bowed while Hyun Joong nodded.

“Annyeong!” I leaned towards Hyun Joong. “Can you ask them if they have the right room?”

“Ms. Devon!” The bearded one grinned at me apparently laughing at some great joke. “It’s me!”            

                He spoke in Korean to the other man. He started to get up but Hyun Joong motioned for him to stay seated and he got up to go shut the door. I sat up a little more to get a closer look at the one who spoke English. When I peered into his face I knew I would recognize those eye smiles anywhere, and I felt myself smiling in giddiness.

“Taeyang-ssi?” I questioned before he nodded clearly impressed with himself.

                I started laughing at his disguise and the more I stared at it the more outlandish it became. The whole point of a disguise was to blend in and with a full black beard he stood out even more. The clothes looked normal except they were too baggy but no one would really pay attention because his face demanded most of it.

“If I fooled you I fooled everyone else.” He was excited that his small plan worked, his eye smiles were getting bigger by the second.

“Yea you did” I chuckled tugging on the beard. “Who’s your friend?” I asked trying to see the face that was covered up by his baseball cap. Maybe it was another member from BIGBANG?

                He mumbled something in Korean and I looked to Hyun Joong for a translation but he was too busy choking on a laugh to answer me. So I had to strike out on my own.

“He doesn’t speak English?” I asked coming to that conclusion. “Annyeong nae ileum-eun Devon-imnida” my Korean flowed out surprisingly easily.

Taeyang clapped in awe. “You know Korean?”

“Only enough to survive and be polite” I laughed.

“I speak English” the man said perfectly; there were no traces of engrish in his speech.

“Very well” I approved.  

                He said something else in Korean clearly annoyed and I could tell from his tone he didn’t want to be here. I was absolutely right because Hyun Joong growled something to him and the man snapped something right back. The only word I was able to catch was “Seung-hyun” and that came after a groan. I looked at Taeyang’s bearded face which mimicked my own worry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly looking from Hyun Joong steaming face to the other man’s irritated one.

                Taeyang said something quiet in Korean towards Hyun Joong and for some reason he kept his mouth shut.

“Is Seungri okay?” I asked starting to get worried. “What happened to Seung-hyun?”

“Hmm?” Hyun Joong asked.

“Aish! Ears like a cat this one! I thought she couldn’t speak Korean?” he snapped at me.

“I know enough to pick out names” I challenged. “Not all shows are subbed on YouTube, so I’ve learned how to listen to get the gist of what’s going on. Now what happened to Seungri?”

The man started chuckling. “She’s a mess this one; worried about her precious bias”  he added bitterly.

“My bias is T.O.P” I said defensively and watched his eyes widened.

                He laughed again talking in Korean. I breathed heavily and rolled my eyes.

“Will you tell me later?” I begged to Hyun Joong, using all powers of whining along with batting eye lashes ridiculously. He was laughing at me. Taeyang whipped his head over to look at him and he was silently pleading the exact opposite.  

“We’ll see” Hyun Joong answered both of us.

                The man groaned again.

“Is something wrong?” I asked sarcastic and then added a laugh on the end.

                He took off his hat finally revealing his face, so he could ruffle his short hair. The entire move maybe took a few seconds, but it was long enough for me to see who he was and start my fan-girling. I felt my mouth drop, my eyes widened and my face froze. In the far away distance I could hear Hyun Joong calling my name repeatedly and then I could see him snapping his fingers in front of me. A light headed smile started to appear across my face as I lay back onto my bed to squirm with excitement.

“Devon, stop moving or you’ll mess up the alignment of the tape. You have to keep still so the bones will set.” Hyun Joong ordered. “Devon…answer me, what’s wrong?”

                Hyun Joong had gotten off the chair and was now hovering over my face trying to find something wrong with me. Even though I couldn’t respond I kept still with great effort and he seemed to relax a little bit. I didn’t know what to be more excited about. The fact that Teddy Park was in the same room as me or that Hyun Joong was about a few inches away from my face. For a few blissful seconds I felt like I was in a drama and the giddiness took over once more.

“Devon say something!” Taeyang commanded; his usually sweet and mild-tempered voice was enough to snap me back when he shouted angrily. It reminded me of that episode of Sar Golden Bell when Lee Joon from MBLAQ yells at Jung Ju Ri.

I shook my head and looked at three anxious faces, before busting out in laughter.

“Teddy Park…is…in…MY ROOM!!!!!” I squealed.

                You know those cartoon faces in anime where something stupid has happened to the character and the most intricate and detailed face turns into this blank dumbfounded one;  I was looking at three of those faces right now. Hyun Joong actually hit himself allowing his hand to slide across his face. A nerve in Taeyang’s head started to twitch and Teddy looked at me like a confused puppy trying to learn a new trick.

“Wait a second. You know who I am?”

“Know who you are? You're the reason why I want to become a music producer!” I squealed happily.

                I smiled at Taeyang and he winced in relief. I smiled at Hyun Joong but it was too soon, he was still upset with me and a fresh glare was waiting when I worked up enough courage to look at his face.

“You know of me?”

“Yea” I smiled big.

“Tell me one song I did, not in a collaboration.”

“That’s kind of hard-”

“See! I knew you didn’t know! You only know me from Where U At-”

“It’s only hard because most of your career has been with someone else.” I said honestly. “You started out as the leader of 1TYM in the 90’s and then when you guys split in 2006 you started producing with YG. You produce some stuff with BIGBANG, but you mainly worked on 2NE1’s debut…”

                I kept rambling on about him and it was so much fun to see his mouth drop wider in amazement. Obviously he hadn’t had a real fan in a long time; his mouth gaped.  

“Do you have stuff that you didn’t do in a collab?” I looked at him innocent and curious.

“Not much” he answered shocked.

“Oh” I replied resting back onto the pillow.

                Hyun Joong’s phone started ringing and he looked at it to see who was calling.

“I’ll be right back” he said to me before rising out of the chair to talk in the hallway.

                I nodded and I just stared at Taeyang and Teddy.

“Taeyang-oppa?”

“Hm?”

“Why do you have a beard?” I smiled.

“I needed a disguise” he admitted starting to blush. “We’re really not supposed to be here”

“Then why did you come?!” I shrieked. “I love you both, but get out! Leave now!” I whined.

Teddy laughed. “Only Taeyang is supposed to leave, I  can stay” he smirked at me.

“Technically Mi-Hi said BIGBANG wasn’t allowed to visit…not Taeyang” he grinned at the loophole.

“I don’t want to get you into trouble-”

“I really should be saying that to you…I didn’t know anything like this was going to happen. We all feel terrible-”

“It wasn’t your fault.” The last thing I wanted was for any of them to feel guilty. “It’s mine.”

“How do you figure getting beat up is your fault? Please explain we’re all dying to know” Teddy said sarcastically.

“It is!”

“No it’s ours…we couldn’t seem to leave you alone. We like having you around because you're a surprise just waiting to happen” Taeyang smiled.    

“Here” Teddy said to me casually handing me the McDonalds bag.

                        I took it gratefully opening it happily. It was an order of fries with a card taped on the back. There were other cards in the bag as well. I read the one with fries first. I squealed with joy when I saw the card was from GD, I opened it before eating.

                              Devon,

                              you said that fries make you feel good. I hope these work; get better soon.

                                     GD

                I laughed quietly when I looked at the large order. I couldn’t believe he remembered; this was so incredible. I opened the next card.

       Devon,

    Dancing isn’t the same when your amazingly talented partner is sick. Keep the beat alive and feel   better immediately.

                                     Seungri

“Seungri” I giggled. Amazingly talented? Psh, as if! Kendrick was right he was the smoothest one, I felt a fresh wave of fan girl wash over my body.

                Devon,

                 Even when life is tough, keep smiling. FIGHTING! And get better soon, we need your laugh.

          Dae.

                The card from Daesung pulled at my tear ducts a little. He was the king of smiling when the world was full of crap, so I would just have to model after him. I could do it, really easily now that I had these cards. The one I had been avoiding the most laid in my lap daring me to open it. I was praying that this was just from YG as a whole instead of from T.O.P but we all knew that wasn’t likely. I opened it pulling out the card. In my head I counted to three before flipping it open and reading the words that had me terrified.

Feel better. T.O.P

        I flipped over the card to make sure there was nothing else on the back. It was blank. I even checked the inside of the envelope to see if he stowed away some invisible message that only I could see, but no. It was empty and blank. I hollered with laughter. What was I expecting? I’ll tell you what I was expecting…a hell of a lot more. Why? Because he was my bias! When I sent him a birthday card it was detailed and everything. I worked on it for weeks drawing and re-drawing it to make it perfect. I wasn’t expecting that…I wasn’t stupid. But I thought he’d at least give me more than a “Feel Better”. Taeyang and Teddy looked at me in wonder until I showed them the card. Teddy took it from me while I began eating my fries. When they had read it Teddy started laughing along with me, but Taeyang looked constipated. He didn’t laugh or smile or anything; he looked offended. He broke into a slur of Korean and Teddy began laughing even harder. When Hyun Joong walked in he looked confused at Taeyang’s sudden outburst until I showed him the card and hunched my shoulders. Hyun Joong laughed harder than me and Teddy combined.

“Not good with words, is this fellow?” Hyun Joong teased while laughing.

“I liked it!” I defended “I wasn’t expecting him to send me anything…none of you. This is so nice” I beamed at all of them.

“He doesn’t deserve to be your bias” Taeyang grumbled in English.

“You get used to her blindness” Hyun Joong added. “No matter what any of you do, she can see no wrong. The more you ignore her the happier she becomes.”

“We didn’t mean to ignore you Devon” Taeyang said to me but it seemed more directed towards Hyun Joong. “We only found out what happened a week ago.”

“How convenient?” Hyun Joong said with thick sarcasm.

“Don’t listen to him” I said to Teddy and Taeyang. “I’m very happy that you came to see me” I was still nibbling on fries.

Taeyang looked at his watch. “I’m so sorry Devon, but we have to go.”

“We do?” Teddy whined but Taeyang gave him a look. “Uh yea, we do.”

“Thank you so much for coming to see me” I grinned and bowed as much as I could to both of them.

“Hurry up and get better” Taeyang said patting my head and he left the room.

“Even if they can’t visit, I’ll come back” Teddy smiled. “You're a special one, even if it’s special-ed” he laughed waving and walking out of the door.  

                I shook my head and smiled. When they had left, I turned my head slowly to look at Hyun Joong. That look turned into an attempt of a fierce glare, but obviously it had the opposite affect because instead of being scared brainless he smirked. I rolled my eyes and breathed heavily falling back onto my pillows.

“What?” he said innocently.

                I shook my head and kept silent before staring out the window avoiding his gaze all together. He wasn’t having it. He got up and stood in front of me, I closed my eyes in defiance. He let out a hard laugh.

“Unbelievable.”

“I can’t believe you just did that” I said trying to sound like a mother scolding her child.

“What exactly did I do?” His voice sounded closer like he was right next to me or something. I didn’t dare open my eyes yet.

“You brought up the fact that I haven’t heard anything from any of them in a while! To TAEYANG!!! Why would you do that?”

“Why not? You weren’t going too” he chuckled.

                At that I opened my eyes expecting him to be sitting in the chair again but he was now sitting on the floor with his head resting slightly on my bed near my pillow. His eyes shone bright with hilarity making me lose my entire argument. There was no trace of remorse. He was clearly proud and aware of what he had done. He looked like a mischievous child who knew that no matter what they did there would be no punishment. I tried my hardest not to smile, I even began biting my lip and spreading my nose to keep from showing him that he won.   

“Are- Are you going to smile? You're seriously going to smile? Incredible, this woman! She’s going to smile! Someone call the doctors! She can’t scold anyone! Wait a minute..are you laughing?”

He was clearly making fun of me but I couldn’t help it, I was laughing. We were laughing. As much as I had regretted what he did, he was making me laugh.

I sighed. “Please…don’t do that again” I said on a lighter note.

“Devon…you can honestly tell me that you weren’t upset that you hadn’t heard anything from anyone? Not even the representatives at YG!”

I took my time in answering and before I could open my mouth, his hand was covering it.

“You're welcome.” He stated keeping it there. “I just saved you from lying.”

                I rolled my eyes again and then I got the most brilliant idea.

“Aish!!!” Hyun Joong said removing his hand away from my mouth and wiping it on my blanket immediately.

“Serves you right” I said triumphantly.

“You my hand!”

“Yea!” I said unashamed.

“I do you a favor, and you my hand” he cracked a smile.

“You’d do me a favor if you didn’t bring up stuff like that.”

“Only if you admit that you were upset” he sneered.

“But I wasn’t…it was an honor just for you to be here.” I watched a grin appear across his face. “I’m not anyone special and it’s not good for you idols to treat me as such. I’m just one fan…just one of millions! ”

                His cell phone rang again but this time he took the call in the room.

“I’ve got to go.”

                A look of disappointment appeared across my face before I could replace it with fake-joy. He smiled and said he would visit again.

“Make sure you eat those noodles, I want them gone when I get back” he winked at me.

“Fine…for you I’ll do it” I sighed making it seem like it was a great effort.

“Oh and Devon, you're not just one of millions. You're one of a kind.”

                                                                                              He walked away before I could properly fan-girl.