I blankly stared up at the ceiling lying across my bed thinking about what a mess my life just became. Why did it have to become so difficult in the past day or so? I replayed the scene so many times in my head trying to see it from Kendrick’s point of view. Maybe I was biased, but I couldn’t see any signs to give him the okay to kiss me. I shook my head and sprang up from my bed. Paije was still sleeping and I looked at the clock and saw that it was early. It made no sense for me to be up, but I couldn’t stay asleep. I walked to the bathroom to take a shower and I let the water beat across my back as I pondered about what to do. After a while I shut off the water and I dried myself before putting on a pair of yoga pants and an off the shoulder t-shirt. It wasn’t even seven o’clock yet so I decided to concentrate on something else…hair and makeup. I plugged in the curling iron and I began sectioning my hair. I pushed my bangs out of the way and began applying make-up to my face; even though I only put on a little I did it with care. It kept my mind occupied so I wouldn’t have to think about Kendrick. I gave myself big barrel curls before raking my hands through creating beachy waves.

“I look way too good to become sweaty” I laughed looking at my reflection.

                I walked back out into the room to find Paije still sleeping. I wrote her a note before grabbing my bag with my ID card, wallet and iPod. I shut our bedroom door quietly, before creeping over to the peephole to see if Kendrick had spent the night outside the door. I was relieved to find him not there. I opened the door and walked out confidently until I felt someone grab my arm. I felt like I had been caught committing a crime red-handed. I groaned in defeat as I turned around to find Raizo smiling brightly.

“Come on!” he said shushing me and he walked with me quickly heading for the elevator.

                I swear, this felt like some top secret spy mission that I had to complete. We stepped in the elevator and Raizo pushed the buttons in a rather hurried fashion. When the doors had safely shut, he leaned up against the railing.

“What are you doing?”

“Aren’t we going to YG?” He said a little confused.

“I am, but why were you-”

“T.O.P said that you needed some back-up” he explained easily. “He said that you’d probably be leaving for YG early and that we should walk over together.”

                The biggest smile was appearing across my face. T.O.P WAS A SAVIOUR!!! I clutched my heart sighing in relief at just thinking about all of the ways he was wonderful. I was laughing with ease as I thought about how I had nothing to fear. As soon as I found T.O.P I was going to thank him with all of my heart!

“Who are you avoiding?” Raizo asked pulling me away from the thousands of ideas on how to praise T.O.P for his thoughtful wit.

“Huh? Oh…Kendrick” I said his name with an edge. “He wants to talk to me, but I feel I have nothing more to say.”

“About what?” Raizo said interested.

I heaved a sigh.

“We don’t have to talk about it-”

“No it’s just that…he likes me and I’m not into him like that” I explained.

He nodded. “Well who are you into?”

I did a double take at him before laughing.

“What?” He asked genuinely innocent.

I shook my head. “Why would I tell you that?”

“I don’t know…you told me everything else.  So…is there someone?”

                I thought about it and I could feel my face grow warm at the thought. A sudden rush was building in the pit of my stomach

“Yes there is someone. 6 some ones…T.O.P, Taeyang, Seungri, GD and Daesung” I smiled easily as the elevator doors opened up.

                I stepped out first and he followed behind, catching up to me while I had stood outside waiting. We began walking the now familiar path back to YG.

“You only named 5” Raizo said after a block or two.

                I didn’t say anything, but smiled weakly. I knew the sixth person would always and forever be Hyun Joong. He was imprinted into my heart like one of the Hollywood Stars on the Walk of Fame. He was impossible to forget, and even though we didn’t part on good terms…some small part of me hoped that he forgave me. That if he ever thought of me, a small smile would appear across his face just like he did for me. Hopefully, he would not be weepy and teary eyed unlike me. If I thought that Because I’m Stupid made me cry before, I was sure that every time I heard that song now I was going to have a tantrum at my idiocy.    We got there fairly quick and after swiping our card to gain access to YG we headed to the elevators through the lobby. We descended to the practice rooms and found the one where we practiced before. It was empty and unlocked and I dropped my stuff in the corner where I had placed them before. Raizo did the same on the opposite side of the room and began stretching. I did the same, doing a few squats and lunges before twisting and spinning around. I shook my arms out and began cracking my joints getting them loose.

“Should we run what we practiced?” Raizo said to me from across the room.

“I guess?”

                He nodded and walked over to the stereo to find a cd copy of the song from yesterday. He put it in the stereo and turned the volume up to a decent sound. I could slightly feel the bass working in my shoes and I put my wavy hair into a high pony tail, allowing it to sweep slightly across my shoulders. I shook my body out before walking in count to my designated spot. Raizo was already dancing to fill in the counter spots, and I began swaying seductively until he counted us in. It was easy to pretend that he wasn’t there, he was dancing in his own world. I focused mainly on my reflection and tried to be as coy and flirtatious as possible. We ran it through a few times, becoming more solid with our own individual styles. Around the eighth time, he shut it off completely out of breath.

“What… are… you… some… kind… of… fish?”

“Hm?” I looked at him confused.

“You don’t need air to breathe?!” He  said completely exhausted. “We’ve been running this non-stop!”

“I run off pure adrenaline baby” I laughed wiping my face with my towel. “Take a break if you need it.”

                He reached into his bag and pulled out a water bottle before sprawling himself out on the floor. I reached in my bag for my iPod and walked over to plug it in. I the song To Me by Rainbow and began dancing the choreography to it. I took my hair down allowing it to sprawl across my shoulders. When I popped up to do the first chest pop, I didn’t look like myself. For one thing I was sleeker and more slender. My hair had covered up all traces of sweat and instead of looking fatigued I seem to have a glow about me. I kept dancing and because I could change up the choreography I felt more freer ! The song ended and I rushed back to the stereo to turn it to a BIGBANG playlist. I put the list on shuffle and Tonight was the first song that came on. Raizo’s head popped up from the floor and he began smiling as he got up to get two microphone stands that were just lying around. He gave one to me and I began smiling thinking of the beginning of the dance to Tonight. Raizo stood in T.O.P’s place and I stood in Seungri’s and we began doing the movements. As soon as we hit the chorus the door opened up as T.O.P and Taeyang walked in with smiles on their faces. They put their stuff down and got into position and began dancing with us. This was a dream come true! Just dancing for fun with T.O.P and Taeyang to one of their songs. We had gotten to the infamous part where GD smashes the guitar, but this time Taeyang stepped forward to do it. We all got a chance to do something of our own and I couldn’t concentrate because when I looked over at T.O.P he was doing his signature wobbly broken legs dance and I almost lost it. I legit felt myself stop dancing so I could watch him. My eyes became bigger and I jumped in place until I could catch him in time. I began doing the dance step with him and when he looked at me he laughed hard. When the song ended  he looked at me wide eyed.

“What is that?!”

I looked at him confused breathing heavily. “I didn’t do it right?”

“That was supposed to be this!” He demonstrated his dance again.

                I watched him carefully before I attempted it. When I finished I looked back to him and he was chortling with laughter. I looked to Taeyang for confirmation.

“How does she do it Hyung?”

“She does it like this” he did it. “Not like this!”

                Raizo, Taeyang and I all looked at each other.

“I see no difference Hyung!” Taeyang laughed stepping out of the way before T.O.P could hit him. “What are you guys doing here so early? Are you in training?”

“We were just practicing for the video” Raizo said arching his back.

“Alright well let’s run it then” Taeyang said plugging my iPod out at switching the stereo back to CD mode.

                Raizo and I stood in our places getting ready to start when Aaliya walked in with a bright smile on her face greeting everyone. T.O.P nodded to her while Taeyang the music before rushing over to greet his partner. Raizo and I began dancing and Aaliya began stretching us. Anna trudged in while Raizo and I kept going with the routine. Seungri and Daesung came in too, and Daesung went straight to Anna greeting her with a smile. Seungri didn’t distract me from the steps, he watched me carefully no doubt to critique me afterwards. The music stopped and Raizo stood in place awaiting any suggestions.

“Yo man! That was really good” T.O.P said approvingly while Seungri came over to me.

“Well?” I winced to Seungri; I couldn’t read his facial expression.

He nodded before speaking. “Just try and make your movements a little cleaner. Sharp but smooth movements.”

                He demonstrated while doing a neck roll. I nodded understanding how he wanted the dance executed.

“Other than that, you're fine” he said rubbing my back. “I can really tell you’ve been working hard!”

                Before I even had a chance to fan-girl Laurieann Gibson walked in with GD and an upset Kendrick. I avoided all eye contact with him, I pretended like he wasn’t even there. I seriously would’ve hated to embarrass him in front of BIGBANG, but if he was smart he wouldn’t ask me anything about yesterday.

“Alright! Let’s run it” Laurieann said taking off her jacket.

                Anna, Kendrick and Aaliya walked to their spots and Laurieann counted us in.

“In five…six…five, six, seven, eight and BOOM!”

                BIGBANG stood up against the mirror watching all of us. And even though I had Seungri in front of me and Kendrick beside me, I made them all disappear pretending I was just dancing and jamming by myself. I could feel the adrenaline in my fingertips started to coerce its way through the rest of my body. When it got to the individualized part, I made sure to have my moves precise and effortless. I somehow looked pass Seungri and concentrated on my bodice in the mirror. I smirked to myself, completely enjoying the reflection dancing with me. I danced my way back to the unified dance of the chorus and when we finished I was completely out of breath from the rush. I was the only one smiling in the group and when I realized that I wiped it away completely before Laurieann could single me out.

“Guys! We start shooting in a few days! You have got to step it up in order to be ready!” She said rubbing her temples. “Let’s take it again.”

                We all breathed out heavily and began reviewing the choreography at a slightly slower pace. Laurieann focused on smoothing out our steps, making them more unified. Members of BIGBANG not only worked with their partners but with the partners of the other members. Seungri smiled and patted me on the head before going over to Daesung to help out Anna.

“That’s really coming along nicely” Taeyang complimented to me. “Just watch your face a little.”

“My face?” I grabbed it smoothing out any frown lines.

“Yeah, this song is a little more edgier and serious. You're too smiley” he said with a grin.

“Okay” I said pouting and creating a serious façade before breaking into a smile. “I can’t help but be happy! My life is just too amazing.”

                Taeyang smiled before turning around to go help Anna with Daesung and Seungri. GD started to come over but Anna turned around and fell flat on her face. She laid on the floor practically crying, refusing to move. GD looked at me not sure what to do, until I waved him onto to help Anna with Daesung, Seungri and Taeyang. He pointed to me, indicating that he would help me later and I nodded with a smile. I stood alone for about a few seconds until a taller figure stood beside me. I turned my head to glance at T.O.P and he smiled. My heart shot up to say hello to my brain, before dropping out of my to slowly crawl away. I bit my bottom lip to keep from screaming.

“So…do you need any help?” He said after a while. “I’m not to sure what I can critique you on though…everyone else said it all” he laughed a little.

“Any advice would be helpful” I said honestly. 

“How do you feel about it? The routine? Your part?” He asked interested.

I breathed out a huge gust of air. “It’s okay I guess-”

“You're not sure?”

“No…I mean the song is great and so is the dance, it’s just…”

“Just what?” He said turning to face me full on, brooding me to talk.

“I’m nervous” I said quietly.

He looked at me a long time before busting out in laughter. I looked at him wildly before continuing to laugh at me. He wouldn’t stop until I began joining in unwillingly.

“I don’t get what’s so funny” I said looking at him with a small smile.

“It’s nothing I thought there was going to be more to it” he said trying to stop. “What makes you nervous?” he said a little more seriously.

“Well, for one thing this video is going to be shown globally and I don’t want to mess up!”

He made this “ch ch ch” sound before speaking. “Who’s going to pay attention to you?!” he laughed.

“Which is exactly my point!” I began laughing. “You guys are just…the absolute best, and I would feel awful if I ruined this video.

                At that moment Anna got up only to slip and fall again.  T.O.P and I both scrunched up our faces at her fall; it looked like it really hurt. Daesung was at her side instantly helping her up from the floor.

“I really don’t think you have to worry about that” T.O.P said quietly to me with a smile. “All you need is…”

“All I need is…” I hedged.

“More confidence” he breathed out. “You're going to be fine…I promise.”

“I’m not you T.O.P-ssi.”

“What does that mean?!” He said interested.

He cocked his eyebrow and I legit forgot how to answer anything.

He  shook his head. “Never mind, I’ll ask you again once your heart starts again.”

I practically beamed back at him. “Gamsahabnida.”

His eyes stretched open in surprise at my Korean. “Since when do you speak Korean?”

“I know enough to get by” I smirked. “I just wanted you to know how thankful I am to you for this morning. You really saved me.”

                He rocked on his heels and we stayed quiet watching Anna completely fail at the routine.

“I guess I should probably go see if I can help” he looked at her pitifully. “I just hope I don’t make it worse.”

I laughed really hard as he smirked before walking away. Aaliya walked over to me folding her arms before glaring at Anna.

“This girl needs to either get it together or quit!” Aaliya grumbled scrunching up her face. “Seriously! She  should it up and try instead of lying on the floor!”

I giggled. “Why don’t you tell her that?”

“Do you ever think that this could all be an act?” She said annoyed. “Like she’s doing this for attention?”

                I began laughing.

“What’s so funny!”

“I’m just thinking if this is what people said about me” I smiled in the irony.

Aaliya stuttered a little before the words came out. “You can’t compare me to those-”

                I looked at her and continued to smile. She glared back in protest.

“Well…she’s-she!” Aaliya groaned. “She’s got them all!!!! THEY’RE RIGHT THERE!!!” She exaggerated. “ At least you were kind enough to share!!!!” she whined so loudly we both broke out into laughter.

“Maybe she will too” I said linking arms with her dragging her towards the embarrassed Anna surrounded by BIGBANG. “Can we help?”

                Daesung picked his head up and looked at us tiredly as the rest of BIGBANG tried to convince Anna to get up from the floor and try again. I looked at Anna who was sprawled out on the floor, crying her eyes out. She was practically throwing a tantrum in the middle of rehearsal except she wasn’t kicking and screaming…she was just refusing to move. Aaliya walked around to her feet and kicked them and she sat up furiously.

“Get up!” Aaliya said fiercely. “Get up now!”

“No! I can’t do it! And I’m just making a bigger fool of myself by-”

“Get up from the floor!” Aaliya commanded.

                Everyone looked at her in shock, eyes spread open waiting to hear what she would say next.

“Why should I?” Anna sniffled sitting up so she could look at Aaliya. “Everyone knows I’m awful and-”

“Are you acting like this because your bias is dead?” Aaliya said harshly. “STOP CRYING AND GET UP!” She bellowed before going into a rant in Hindu.

Anna scrambled herself from the floor. “I CAN’T DO IT!” She screamed.  

“Did you forget who we’re dancing with? Did you expect this to be easy? If so, you shouldn’t have auditioned if you didn’t expect to work!”

“I CAN’T DO IT-”

“I’m sick of hearing that! You're like a parrot only knowing a few words!”

                I looked at BIGBANG trying to see a reaction. Each of them was bewildered in their own way. GD looked surprised but eager to see or hear what would happen next. Taeyang and Seungri looked at each other confused while T.O.P tried to keep from smiling. He was obviously laughing at the situation and while I expected Daesung to be doing the same thing, he wasn’t. Daesung was giving this intense stare down at Anna; clearly he was upset at her behavior. Anna was quiet but still sniffling.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself!” Aaliya said sounding like a mother. “Practically throwing a fit just because the steps are a little hard. We’re all struggling with it, but the rest of us came to put our best forward and we will be flawless…why? Because BIGBANG is depending on us! And I refuse to have an ungrateful winner, ruin all of their hard work!”

                Anna and the rest of us listened quietly, even Laurieann listened.  Aaliya had our full attention.

“When you throw a fit you not only do you embarrass yourself but  V.I.P’s as a whole! Our fandom does not give up easily, just like BIGBANG! We work harder to improve ourselves to become the best!” Aaliya was breathing hard. “Now…you owe BIGBANG an apology but most importantly you owe Daesung an apology! And you better thank him for not kicking you out of the building, even though your behavior clearly called for it!”

                Aaliya walked out ranting in Hindu before telling us that she was just using the restroom. We all stared after her awestruck not really sure what to say. Anna wiped her face and bowed low towards Daesung before addressing the rest of BIGBANG. Daesung was clearly annoyed, the smiling angel had turned into one of seriousness. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her spot before working with her individually. GD said something in Korean that made all of BIGBANG laugh including Daesung.

“What did he say?” I asked Seungri when he came back to me.

“He says that he’s going to tell YG about Aaliya, and hopefully get her a job at YG Friends!” He chuckled.

I smiled. “She was great wasn’t she!”

He nodded with a smile. “But she said something that bothered me. Are you struggling?”

I could feel my eyebrows furrow together. “Does it look… like I am?”

“Aniyo! It’s just I would hope that if you needed help you would tell me.”

“I would! I don’t want to let you down either” I said warmly. “I have to be flawless, just like she said!”

                Aaliya walked back into the room, aiming herself back to Taeyang. Before she got there, T.O.P stopped her and gave her a high five before working her way back to her spot. When the whole group came back together again we felt more unified. Aaliya’s words had been taken to heart, at least they did for me. And I felt myself determined to improve each time we ran it through.

“Okay…That’s enough for today! We’ll pick it up again tomorrow!” Laurieann said cutting off the music.

“See you all tomorrow” GD said packing his stuff up leaving first, Daesung nodded before leaving too. I could tell that instead of being totally heated, he was now at a simmer.

“Get some rest Dev” Seungri said walking out with T.O.P and Taeyang.

                I waved goodbye happily and began placing my things back into my bag. I heard someone come behind me and I became reluctant to turn around.

“Devon, can we talk?”

I refused to look at him, but I could tell that his voice was grim. “I don’t think I have I have anything else to say” I said quietly.

“I want to apologize…for yesterday” he said softly.

“Oh…well” I turned to face him. “I accept.”

                He grabbed my shoulders tightly and I looked at his stronghold before glaring at him.

“Let me go! You're making a scene” I said trying to break free.

“FINE! LET’S MAKE ONE THEN!” He said bringing himself closer and I began beating on his chest feeling even more helpless.

“YAH!”

                We both looked to the side and saw T.O.P’s furious face glaring at the situation. He began in a rant of Korean and just about ever one was dumbstruck, but I felt Kendrick let me go.

“I can see that you do not know how to treat a lady” T.O.P began, and I almost fan-girled at the way he said ‘lady’. “So apologize or I will have you removed” he threatened.

Kendrick glared at me before apologizing to T.O.P and then he stormed off.    

“Devon, will you follow me please?” T.O.P said turning himself to face me.

                I picked up my bag and followed him, quietly answering ‘To the ends of the Earth’.

~~~~

okay so...im still writting and hopefully there will be a double update today...no promises though but that's what i'm aiming for lol...sorry for the semi-cliffhanger,

but ill try and post the next part ASAP

much love...pce!