Seungho nibbled on his rice absentmindedly as he sat across from Joon.  He was still reeling from the conversation he’d had earlier that morning with his father.  When he had flat out refused to go abroad, there had been uproar.   Accusations were thrown around followed by yelling.  His mother had been on the verge of tears and his brother was stunned into silence.  Without taking a single bite of food, Seungho had stormed out of the house with his bag and bought the first bus ticket home. 

The ride back had seemed long and torturous but by the time he had arrived, he’d managed to fix his expression into a less terrible one.  Joon had opened the door with surprise on his face and a warm hug on his arms.  Without any regard for time, Seungho had asked for food and Joon had gladly complied.  In the end, they were having an early dinner at only four in the afternoon.

“Hyung?” Joon called, looking at him with a small frown, “You okay?” 

“Hmm?” Seungho replied, snapping out of his daze and looking up at Joon, “What?”

“Are you okay?” Joon asked, lowering his chopsticks, “You don’t look so good.  Did something happen?”

“I’m fine,” Seungho said, smiling softly.  He looked down at his barely touched food and sighed.  He wasn’t sure if he should tell Joon about his family drama.

“You came back so early,” Joon said, “I thought you’d stay for a few days.  What happened?”  He bit his lip and waited for Seungho to speak.

Sighing, Seungho set down his bowl and chopsticks and looked at Joon with remorse.  “My father,” he started, feeling a headache coming on, “He… doesn’t like that I’m gay.”  It was as simple as that, Seungho thought.  That was the root of all of his problems.  And there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it.  “He threw a fit,” he sighed, “There was drama.”

“I’m sorry,” Joon murmured, setting down his utensils and reaching forward to take Seungho’s hand, “I had figured it might have been something like that.”

“Yeah well…” Seungho paused as he locked eyes with Joon.  He knew it would terrify and hurt Joon but he had to tell him.  “He… my father wants me to go study abroad,” he said softly.  He felt his heart squeeze tightly as Joon’s eyes widened and his grip falter.

“Abroad,” Joon repeated in a soft murmur.  He fell silent as he dropped his gaze and stared at the food. 

Seungho could tell Joon was suppressing his urge to say anything.  He knew that with Joon’s nature, the guy would rather bite his tongue than ask Seungho to go against his family’s wishes.  “Don’t worry,” he said reassuringly as he took Joon’s hand in his, “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Joon looked up at him with tentative eyes.  He was silent as he looked back at Seungho.  After a brief moment, his face relaxed and he nodded.

“Let’s eat,” Seungho said, picking up his chopsticks.  He paused as Joon looked down at his food but didn’t move to eat.  “What?” he asked, “Are you still worried about this?”

“Actually,” Joon said, sighing, “I need to tell you something too.”  He clasped his hands together and bit his lip.

Seungho felt a slither of concern in his stomach.  Setting down his chopsticks again, he nodded and waited for Joon to speak.

“When you invited me to go home with you, I couldn’t go because…” Joon started, looking up at Seungho with apologetic eyes, “The truth is, I got a call from Lee-Song the day your mother came.  They told me to go do the DNA test sometime this weekend so…”

Seungho blinked in surprise.  Rather than feeling upset at Joon for not telling him, he felt panic at the sudden arrival of the test.  “You did it?” he asked, feeling panic in his chest.

Joon nodded and murmured, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.  You had so much going on with your family that I didn’t want to worry you more.”

Seungho leaned back in his chair and tried to quell the anxiety that gripped his heart.  Joon had already done the DNA test.  They’d talked about it for weeks now but it didn’t seem like anything that would just happen right away.  Of course, they knew it would.  But still, Seungho had been subconsciously denying its arrival.  Once the test was complete, it would mean the end was coming; the end to all of this drama and, possibly, the end to their relationship.  He wasn’t prepared… he wasn’t prepared.

“Hyung,” Joon said softly, leaning forward, “W… When the test results come back-”

“Let’s go on a date tomorrow,” Seungho interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest of Joon’s sentence, “In the months that we’ve been together, we’ve never once been on a date.”  He smiled softly and tried his best to think positively.  “Let’s go on a date, okay?” he said with a smile even though his heart ached.

Joon’s face crumpled for a fraction of a second before he too put on a brave smile.  “Yeah,” he replied, “Let’s… go on a date.”

Joon breathed in the fresh morning air and soaked in the sun as he waited for Seungho outside of their apartment complex.  The breeze felt nice on his skin and helped sooth the anxiety running through his stomach.  He felt happy that he was finally going on a date with Seungho, something he’d wanted to do for a while.  But at the same time, it felt like the last act… the final chapter of their romantic life and that feeling terrified him.

“Ready?” Seungho asked as he walked up from behind with a smile.

“Yeah,” Joon said, nodding, “Where are we going?”  He felt his heart flutter as he looked at Seungho; the man looked good in just about anything.

“Mmm…” Seungho thought about it for a brief second before he said, “First let’s go grab some food.  I was thinking the zoo later.  What do you say?”  He reached forward and took Joon’s hand in his.  Gently, he slipped his fingers in between Joon’s and held on tightly.

Joon’s heart raced as he looked down at their entwined hands.  He felt warmth spread through his chest and giddiness in his head.  “What if other people see?” he whispered, tightening his hold on Seungho’s hand despite his question.  Even though they had both long since come to terms with their relationship, people would likely judge them as they walked down the street holding hands.  And it didn’t help that both previously worked as models.

“So let them see,” Seungho said, shrugging and pulling Joon closer, “If they judge then so be it.  I don’t want to waste any more time worrying about things I can’t control.”  He rubbed his thumb over the back of Joon’s hand and frowned a little.  “Time is something we don’t have a lot of anymore,” he said softly.

Joon felt his heart squeeze in his chest as he looked at Seungho’s face.  They both knew the time they had left was short.  Even if they tried to maintain some semblance of a relationship once the results came out, it would be nothing like they’ve had thus far.

Giving his head a shake, Joon put on a bright smile and tugged at Seungho’s hand.  “Then let’s get going,” he said, “I’m starving.”

With a smile, Seungho nodded and turned to flag down a taxi.  As they climbed in and headed off towards their destination, they both fell silent.  Their hands remained clasped to each other but neither knew how to break the sadness that seemed to surround them.

“Hey,” the cab driver said, looking at them through the rear view mirror, “Ain’t you guys those kids from that magazine or something?”  

Seungho looked away from the window and blinked at the cab driver.  Smiling politely, he said, “You recognize us from somewhere sir?”

“You not so much,” the driver said, causing Joon to muffle a small laugh, “But you, I think so.”  He nodded towards Joon and gave him a toothy smile.  “My son bought his first suit a while ago for his graduation ceremony,” he said, “He had a few magazines and I think you was in one of them.”

Seungho nodded, slightly embarrassed.  He pinched Joon’s hand at the latter’s snicker.  

“I did do some advertising for suits,” Joon said, nodding bashfully.

“Aww, well you looked real good in them,” the driver said with a beaming smile, “My son got a real quality suit out of it.”

“Thank you,” Joon said, pinching Seungho back playfully.

“So uh…” the driver said, noticing their hands as he turned and looked at Joon quickly, “What’s with the… you know.”  He waved his hands to gesture at their hand-holding.  “You guys lose a bet or something?” he joked.

Joon’s smile faltered slightly as he looked down.  How should he reply to that?  With the truth?  Would the man judge him?  He wondered if the trouble was worth it.  Before he could respond though, Seungho answered for him.

“No,” Seungho said, looking at the cab driver through the mirror, “We’re actually going on our first date.”  He looked at Joon with a gentle smile and gave their hands a light squeeze.  “We’ve been together for a while but we’ve never had time for dates before,” he said, his gaze on Joon’s face, “It’s about time we had one I think.”

Joon’s heart thumped loudly in his chest as he glanced at the cab driver.  What would the driver say?  He braced himself for terrible judgements and hate.  He even prepared to get kicked out of the cab before they’d reached their destination.  But even as he braced himself, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders.  Seungho, the one who had been more concerned with being judged before, had turned completely around and was now freely expressing himself.  It made Joon happy to know that Seungho no longer felt the need to hide who he was anymore and all of it was made perfectly clear the day he’d told his mother the truth.

“Oh yeah?” the cab driver said, “What’s after breakfast then?  I suggest either Namsan Tower or a park or something.  The zoo’s not bad either.  I went there with my wife for our twentieth anniversary; you just never get too old for animals you know?”

Joon blinked in surprise as he looked at the cab driver.  Did the cab driver… really just give them date ideas?  Rather than hurtful words about their ual orientation, he’d instead offered them places they could have their date.  He wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry.

Seungho chuckled and nodded.  “We were actually thinking of visiting the zoo,” he said without missing a beat, “But now that you mention it, Namsan Tower sounds like a good idea too.  What do you say?”  He turned to Joon and smiled widely.

Joon returned the smile.  “That sounds great,” he said softly, “Thank you for the suggestion.”

“Don’t forget to buy locks,” the driver pointed out as they approached their destination, “If you’re going to Namsan, you have to get locks.”  He pulled to a stop and turned to look at them in their seats.  Giving them a wide smile, he said, “There’s a stationary shop just down that way.  You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you,” Joon said softly.  His words came from the bottom of his heart as the driver gave him a great smile.  

“Have fun kids,” the driver said, waving as they got out.  Giving Seungho change, he drove off with a rumble of the engine.

“I didn’t expect that,” Joon admitted as they walked into the café and took a seat, “I thought he’d say something bad.”  It had been a pleasant surprise and a great start to their day.  Joon was genuinely happier than earlier that morning and it hadn’t taken much to get him that way.

“Me neither to be honest,” Seungho said.  He paused as a waitress came by and took their order.  As she poured them coffee and left, he continued, “But that’s how things are.  We’ll probably meet people who will scorn us.  At the same time, we might meet people like the cab driver.  He didn’t even bat an eyelash.”  He chuckled and sipped his coffee.

“Yeah,” Joon said, pouring a bit of milk into his own coffee and taking a sip, “I hope we meet more people like him.”

“What he said about Namsan Tower though,” Seungho said, looking up at Joon, “You want to do it?  It sounds like fun.”

Joon nodded enthusiastically and leaned forward in his chair.  “Yes, let’s go after the zoo,” he said, “I want to see all the locks too.  Plus we can put our own up…”  He gave a silly grin at the idea.

“Deal,” Seungho said as their food came.

The rest of the day went by in a blur.  After brunch, they made their way to the zoo where they spent most of their day.  They covered most of the zoo and even spent time in the mid afternoon to have a bite to eat near the food stalls.  They drew a few curious looks but, for the most part, were left alone to their own devices.  

Joon had never felt quite so carefree before.  It had been one thing after another during the past year that he never quite had a chance to slow down and finally enjoy some time with Seungho.  Now, as they made their way to the top floors of Namsan Tower, Joon felt as if nothing could get him down.  

“Wow…” he said breathlessly as they stepped out onto the open-spaced top floor of the tower.  

It was a breathtaking view indeed.  Locks… thousands upon thousands of them lined the railings.  They varied in colors and sizes; the entire view gave the image of a scattered rainbow.  It was amazing for Joon to think of all the lovers who’d took the time to write their wishes and clasp their locks in this sea of expectation and hope.

Seungho pulled out from a plastic bag the locks that they had purchased earlier that day.  Though it wasn’t as colorful as some, the lock itself seemed unique and sturdy.

“What are you going to write?” Seungho asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Joon as he pulled out markers, “I know what I’m going to write.”

“And what’s that?” Joon asked, giving Seungho a deadpan look, “And don’t tell me it’s-”

“Puh…lease… let… us…” Seungho read aloud as he wrote, “Have… more… fun… show…ers.”  He grinned as he signed and dated the lock.  He handed the lock to Joon and grinned.  “Your turn,” he said.

“You wrote that?” Joon asked, taking the lock from him and looking at the words.  To his relief, Seungho had written something completely different.  He felt a blush creep up on him as he read the words over and over again.

My heart is yours.

Joon wanted to burn those words into his mind as he stared at the lock.  He brushed a thumb across the words, his chest full of emotion.

“Stop staring at it,” Seungho interjected, looking away in embarrassment, “Write yours.  I want to read it.”  He nudged Joon with his elbow as he continued to look off into the distance.

Joon let his marker hover momentarily over the lock before writing down his own heartfelt message.

I cherish you.

Joon looked up to find Seungho peeking over his shoulder.  The two shared a brief moment as their eyes met.  Joon wanted to lean closer and place a kiss on Seungho’s lips.  There were still too many people around for him to muster up the courage.

“What are you waiting for?” Seungho murmured, his face still only inches away, “Aren’t you going to cherish me?”  He leaned in even closer as his eyes dipped to Joon’s lips briefly before looking back up again.  

Throwing caution to the wind, Joon leaned forward ever so slightly and brushed his lips against Seungho’s in a soft and tender kiss.  He could hear soft murmurs around them but he didn’t care; all the could feel at the moment was happiness.  The softness of Seungho’s lips against his… the warmth from Seungho’s closeness… they were the only thing that mattered.

Seungho pulled away and brushed Joon’s cheek with his thumb.  “That was nice but…” he leaned back and looked up at the sky, “I hope you’ll cherish me some more tonight when we get home.  I need some good cherishing-”

Joon laughed and elbowed Seungho as he walked towards the railings.  He looked around, trying to find a good spot to put it but the railings were packed.  Wandering about, he bit his lip and frowned.  There wasn’t a single space left.  Some locks had been locked onto other locks and so forth.  

“Here,” Seungho called from the other side, “Let’s clip it to this.”  He pointed to the top portion of a handle bar that was still exposed.  Beneath it hung several heart shaped locks in various colors.

Walking over, Joon handed Seungho the lock.  He watched as Seungho slipped his hands around the locks and securely clasped theirs in place.  They stood back and stared at it for a while to just admire the view.

“I wish…” Joon said softly, walking closer and linking his hands again with Seungho, “I wish time would just stop like this.”

“Me too,” Seungho murmured, placing his other hand on top of Joon’s.

“I don’t want today to end,” Joon whispered.  As the sun set before them, he could feel the familiar sense of panic and despair seeping through his bones.  He wanted to stay like this forever.  He wanted all of his problems to go away.  He closed his eyes and prayed that the sun would stay up a little longer… that tomorrow would come a little later.

“Me too…” Seungho replied again, staring at the pink tinged sky.

The two fell silent as they looked off into the distant sky.  As people dispersed around them, they stayed unmoving until the sky was nearly dark.

They were startled out of their thoughts as Joon’s phone rang.  Fumbling, Joon pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller flashing across his screen.  His breath hitched as his hands shook. 

“Who is it?” Seungho asked, unable to hide his desperation.  It was obvious that he’d guessed who it was but he clenched their hands together as if pleading for Joon to tell him he was wrong.

Joon steadied his hands and returned Seungho’s desperate gaze.  There was no hiding now.  The sun had set and the clock had struck twelve.  The magic of the day had disappeared with the glow of the sun and now, their fears had come calling again.  

Taking a deep breath, Joon said softly, “It’s… the hospital.”

Author's notes:

And the story continues!  I'm trying to pick up the pace a little since the massive amount of chapters is starting to get to me.  After your replies, I've decided to continue with the story as is and not split it up.  Due to various reasons, it didn't make too much sense and would only serve to confuse readers.  Instead, I will proceed with the story faster and write longer chapters.  That'll probably help :)  I may even start condensing some chapters from before.  I'm not sure yet so bear with me!  Thanks for your patience and please continue to give love to Love Me!