Cheondoong climbed the stairs of the dorm slowly, his mind reeling from the conversation he’d just had with Soyun.  He could feel his heart still racing at the barrage of new information he’d learned… and of the possibility of real danger in the near future.

Soyun had been hesitant at first, but she’d finally revealed who she’d thought Joon really was.  It was shocking to hear it from , but it hadn’t the first time he’d suspected that Joon was the missing child of the late Lee-Song CEO.  He’d found tidbits of information during his research, enough to suggest that the mystery surrounding Joon was not as simple as it’d seemed.  There were too many coincidences, and too many strange occurrences.  But even then, amongst the thick of his suspicions, Cheondoong had no way to confirm, or deny, whether or not his guesses had been true.  And even after his conversation with Soyun, he couldn’t say for certain that they were right about Joon’s identity.

Still Soyun had seemed convinced that Joon was Lee Changsun.  Her explanation of how Changsun’s disappearance matched perfectly, time wise, with when Joon appeared in front of Cheondoong’s mother.  Was it a coincidence?  And the kidnapper, Kang Sangki, he had served time in jail but where was he now?  When Soyun spoke of this, she seemed unconvinced about Kang Sangki’s crime.  Was she hiding something?  Was there something she wasn’t tell him?

Soyun had learned a handful herself.  She’d asked in detail about Joon’s past and his relationship with Cheondoong’s mother.  After telling her everything he knew, Soyun seemed more convinced than ever about Joon’s identity.  Still though… Cheondoong couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something she wasn’t telling him.  And as they parted, she had warned him to be careful and for him to pass that message on to Joon.  Careful… of what though?  She hadn’t specified, only that they should be careful.  It had planted a seed of anxiety in his chest and there was nothing he could do to shake it off.

Lost in his thoughts, Cheondoong hadn’t noticed that he’d passed his floor.  Blinking, he stared at the floor level written on the door… he was on Joon and Seungho’s floor.  Taking it as a sign, he pushed through the stairway doors and into the hallway.  As he turned the corner, he paused in his steps and raised his eyebrows.

In front of Joon and Seungho’s apartment stood a sleepy and grumpy looking Yongjae.  Dressed in sweats, he yawned and pressed his ear to the door.

Feeling a spike of irritation, Cheondoong walked over and cleared his throat.  Yongjae jumped and turned around to face him.  He quickly straightened himself up and threw his chest out.

“What are you doing?” Cheondoong asked, trying to be polite. 

“Why do you care?” Yongjae replied, raising an eyebrow, “Since you asked, I’ll tell you.”  He raised his arm and pretended to stretch comfortably before saying, “I heard some rumors about these two so I came to check it out myself.”

Cheondoong’s frown deepened.  He stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket and tried to quell the burst of annoyance.  “What rumors?” he asked shortly.

“You haven’t heard?” Yongjae smirked, raising an eyebrow, “The word goes that these two are queer for each other.”  He shuddered and rubbed his arms.  “So I thought I’d come by and see if I could catch them having nasty butt-” he snorted but cut short when Cheondoong suddenly pulled his hands from his pockets and took a step towards him.  “W-What?” he asked, subconsciously taking a step back.

“Hyung,” Cheondoong said, his voice quietly dangerous as he felt the sudden urge to punch Yongjae, “You shouldn’t worry about rumors so much.  Instead of sneaking around people’s doors, you should practice more.  I heard the results from the final selection are out…”  He tried to remain polite with his words; it was all he needed now to cause more problems for himself when he was already dealing with a lot on his mind.

Yongjae paled slightly before composing himself.  He scoffed and took another step back.  “You should worry more about yourself,” he said smugly, though his face was still pale, “Who’s going to change your diapers now?  Now that your mommy’s gone?”

Stunned for only a fraction of a second, Cheondoong reached out and grabbed Yongjae’s collar.  Although the latter was tall, Cheondoong was slightly taller.  He pulled Yongjae in and towered over him menacingly.  He raised his other hand and balled his hands into a fist.  He felt fury course through his veins as clenched his teeth in anger.  But before he could make contact with Yongjae’s terrified face…

The door to the apartment swung open and Joon stood before them, surprise on his face.  The two of them froze and turned to look at him, their own surprise evident on their face.

“What…?” Joon asked, looking from Yongjae to Cheondoong, “I… I heard voices outside so…”

Using this as a chance to recover, Yongjae slapped away Cheondoong’s grip on his collar and straightened his clothes.  He looked at Joon with both smugness and disgust and said, “Hey … Didn’t mean to interrupt your nasty time-”

Cheondoong lunged at Yongjae again, his eyes seeing red but Joon held out an arm and stopped him.  He could feel his chest burning as he yearned to wrap his hands around Yongjae’s skinny neck and throttle him.  The latter looked shaken but put up a cool front and straightened his back again.  He scoffed again and gave Joon a dirty look before turning on his heels and walking down the hall towards the elevator.  Cheondoong let out a heavy breath to try and relieve himself of his anger.  He glanced at Joon and felt his fury deflate. 

Joon had turned a strange shade of white as he stared at the ground where Yongjae stood.  His arm was still outstretched to stop Cheondoong; he seemed to have forgotten to lower it as he reeled from the confrontation.

After a few moments, Joon snapped out of his daze and turned to Cheondoong, his gaze wary and guarded.  He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it and closed it again.  His gaze lowered as he shifted his weight between his feet uncertainly.

Cheondoong suddenly felt the awkwardness permeate the atmosphere.  He remembered the terrible words he’d said the night before and suddenly felt like a hypocrite for getting angry at Yongjae.  Although he hadn’t said anything even remotely as offensive as Yongjae, his words had, no doubt, cut Joon and Seungho deeply.  After being scolded by Chulyong, he realized just how badly his words must’ve hurt. 

Clearing his throat, Cheondoong stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket and mumbled, “Don’t… don’t pay attention to him.  He’s a and he knows it… he just says stuff to hear himself talk…”  He trailed off, unsure of what else to say.

Joon looked up in mild surprise and nodded before averting his gaze again to the floor. 

“And…” Cheondoong continued as he began rambling to fill in the awkward silence, “I don’t know how much you heard… about this rumor thing… people will get over it soon enough… I wouldn’t worry about it too much…”  Again, he trailed off and scuffed his shoes into the carpet awkwardly.  He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to try and remedy the situation but he didn’t like the way Joon looked after being exposed to Yongjae’s stupidity.

Joon shivered and wrapped his arms around his midriff subconsciously.  He nodded in response but didn’t look up at Cheondoong.  He stood in silence, lost in his thoughts.

Cheondoong glanced warily at the open apartment door.  Why did he come here again?  To ask Joon if what Soyun had told him was true?  To ask if Joon really couldn’t remember anything or if he was just pretending?  Right… that’d go over well.  Things were still so awkward from their confrontation the night before that even being in each other’s presence was stifling. 

“So,” Cheondoong said, clearing his throat again, “Is… is Seungho-hyung still sleeping?”  He mentally sighed at the awkwardness of the question.  It was nearing noon now; the two were probably up for a while.  And although Cheondoong was still on the brief break that Hyunsik had granted him, he was sure Joon and Seungho would’ve resumed their schedules already.

Joon shook his head and glanced into the apartment with worried eyes.  “He was gone when I woke up,” he said quietly, “He has the morning off though so I don’t know where he is…”  He trailed off and shifted nervously. 

Cheondoong nodded and scratched his head.  Unsure of what to say, he fell silent.  He knew he needed to apologize for what he’d said last night.  Even if he didn’t quite accept their relationship just yet, he had no business throwing accusing and hurtful words at Joon.  Sighing, he nodded towards the open apartment door and asked, “Can I come in?  I… I wanted to talk to you.”

Joon’s shoulders tensed at those words.  He nodded timidly and led the way inside, avoiding Cheondoong’s gaze as he closed the door behind them. 

Cheondoong felt guilt slither through his stomach as he watched Joon shuffle into the kitchen to make them tea.  He could tell that Joon was apprehensive; Joon’s body language screamed discomfort and wariness.  As Joon brought the tea over, Cheondoong shifted uncomfortably himself and tried to formulate his words.

Joon sat down at the table across from him and looked at his tea.  His hands cupped the mug and his fingers fiddled with the handle as he waited nervously.

“I…” Cheondoong began, playing with his own mug, “I’m sorry about last night.”  He paused and glanced at Joon.  When the latter didn’t respond, he continued carefully.  “I shouldn’t have said those things to you…” he said, “I was upset and… I’m sorry I took it out on you.”

Joon bit his lip as he finally looked up.  Although he was still wary, he seemed less uncomfortable.  “I’m… I’m sorry too,” he murmured, “It must’ve been a shock… and after everything too…”

Cheondoong nodded and looked at his tea.  He sipped it slowly before he said, “I… I still can’t accept… I can’t-”  He cut off and sighed.  “Your… relationship with Seungho-hyung is difficult for me to accept,” he said, trying to explain his feelings, “I don’t think I can ever stop hoping that he will go back to my sister.  I just can’t…”  He trailed off, unsure of how else to explain his complex feelings. 

Joon looked down at his tea again and fell silent.  His guilt was obvious and that, in turn, made Cheondoong feel guilty.  While he didn’t approve of this relationship, he also didn’t want to make Joon feel guilty.  It was just so… complicated.

“What you said,” Joon said softly, breaking the silence, “About… me being the cause…” He paused and looked up with nervous eyes.  “Even if they were angry words,” he said, “There was some truth to them… isn’t there?”

Cheondoong took a deep breath and frowned.  What could he say to that?  No?  He’d be lying.  Yes?  It would only hurt Joon to be completely honest.  So what could he say?

“I’m not here to talk about that,” he said, trying to divert the topic, “I… I’m here for something else.”  He felt his heart speeding up at the change in topic.  He still wasn’t quite sure how to broach the subject yet but…

Joon blinked in surprise.  “Something else?” he asked, “What’s that…?”

Cheondoong cleared his throat and looked at him.  “I… I want to know who you are,” he said simply, “Can you tell me?”  His heart thudded against his ribcage as he waited.

Joon’s eyes widened at the blunt question but he quickly got over the surprise and frowned.  “I don’t…” he said, shaking his head, “What do you-”

“Are you Lee Changsun?” Cheondoong asked, watching Joon’s face for signs of recognition, “Are you the missing son of Lee Sukgyun?”

Joon looked at him in stunned silence.  His mouth opened but no words came out.  After a brief moment of shock, he shook his head and looked at his tea.  “Why… why would you ask that?” he murmured, gripping his mug tightly.

“Because I’m not the only one who thinks you are,” Cheondoong said, “None of us know anything about your childhood… where you came from, whose family you belonged to.”  He bit his lip and frowned.  “I… I don’t blame you for the things that have happened but,” Cheondoong explained, “I want to protect the people I care about.  And I believe that the way to do that is to find out who you really are.” 

Joon looked at him in silence as he fiddled with his mug.  His frown eased and his face became one of defeat.

“So…?” Cheondoong pushed, “Are you?”  He waited with bated breath as he gazed at Joon’s face.

“I…I don’t know,” Joon replied, gazing into his tea.

“Why?” Cheondoong asked, leaning forward, “Why don’t you know?  Why can’t you remember?”  It didn’t make sense; how did someone just suddenly lose their memory?

“I don’t know,” Joon replied, shrinking into his seat, “I… don’t know-”

“What happened before my mother picked you up?” Cheondoong asked, setting the tea down and frowning, “Moments before my mother stopped her car from hitting you on the road, what happened?  Where were you?  Where did you spring up from?”

“I don’t know,” Joon repeated, looking at him with distress, “I can’t remember-”

“What about at the fundraiser?” Cheondoong interrupted, feeling impatient, “You saw Soyun, and the hwajangnim didn’t you?  Did you remember anything?  Did it trigger anything?”

“No… I-” Joon began but Cheondoong cut him off again.

“So try,” Cheondoong said, leaning in further, “Try to remember.  Try and remember who you are.”

“I can’t,” Joon said, shifting in his seat, “I can’t-”

“Just try,” Cheondoong insisted.

“I can’t!” Joon suddenly yelled.  He stood and let his mug fall to the floor with a crash.  The sound made both of them jump and fall silent.

Cheondoong let out a breath as he tried to calm himself.  He glanced at Joon, who looked visibly shaken and paler than before.  In the heat of the moment, he hadn’t realized the effect that his insistence had had on Joon.  It was only now that he’d realized he went too far.

“I… I’m sorry,” he apologized again, getting up out of his seat, “I didn’t mean…”

“It’s alright,” Joon said, bending down and picking up the broken pieces of his mug.  Bring them to the garbage, he paused and said, “I’m… I’m sorry I can’t tell you anything about my past.”  His shoulders drooped as he turned to face Cheondoong.  “I wish I could remember too,” he murmured, his eyes swimming with upset, “I want to remember… but I can’t.”

Cheondoong swallowed and stood there in silence.  What more could he say?  Pushing Joon hadn’t helped; on the contrary, it just made him more stressed and upset.  So what then?  Was there… no other way?

“I understand,” Cheondoong sighed, “I’m sorry…”

Joon bit his lip and nodded before taking some paper towels and walking over to the spilt tea.  Cheondoong watched as Joon wiped the tea with shaky hands and felt another sliver of guilt in his stomach. 

“I’ll… I’m going to go back to my dorm,” Cheondoong said, suddenly wanting to leave, “I’ll see you later then.”  Without waiting for a response, he quickly saw himself out and closed the door behind him.

He let out a heavy sigh as he made his way to the stairs.  Well… that was useless.

Author's notes:

A bit of a bland chapter but it's necessary to build suspense for a story much further down!  Thanks for reading and stay tuned!!