He was exhausted.

As Joon stepped out of the shower, he glanced at the clock.  It was nearly 11:00 PM.  Sighing, he dressed and shuffled into the empty living room.

Over a month had gone by since his first day at KTA and it was as busy and strenuous as he thought it would be.  Although he was simply under training to model and shoot commercials, they had placed him in a competitive idol training program where he often trained with upcoming singers and actors.  Due to his lack of previous entertainment experience and shy nature, the managers at KTA had each refused to accept him under their wing.  Scoffing at their lack of an eye for talent, Mun Hyunsik had personally accepted the task of being Joon’s interim manager with the confidence that he would turn Joon into a big star.  And although Joon appreciated his confidence, he felt burdened by Hyunsik’s expectations and was worried that he wouldn’t be able to live up to them.

So he worked extra hard.  His days often consisted of arriving at KTA by 7:00 AM and not returning until nearly midnight.  He underwent posture training, dance lessons, vocal lessons, and even therapeutic sessions to help him gain confidence and charisma.  He found the emotional sessions to be the most draining since he could never quite meet expectations.  His physical training had helped him gain some muscle weight, and although he still clearly held a young teenager’s body frame, he had become much more defined.  Although he was contstantly in muscle pain, he was grateful for the chance to shed his thin frame.

Although it was hard work, Joon was extremely thankful for the money that Hyunsik provided them.  They were able to pay for a few more weeks of Dara’s hospital stay and help supplement Seungho’s tuition.  Seungho sent Cheondoong a large portion of the remaining money to help support himself and saved the rest in Dara’s bank account.  The only problem was that although they could afford to keep Dara under the hospital’s care for a while longer, there would eventually come a day when she would need to be moved out of the hospital.  They were all still hopeful that she would wake up before then but…

Joon sighed and walked over to the window.  Pulling back the curtains, he leaned against it and looked outside.  Their window was located on the third floor at the front of the building and overlooked bus stop where Seungho often used to get to and from school.  Joon stared at the empty stop with mixed feelings. 

With his busy work schedule, he barely ever got to see Seungho anymore.  Plans for getting his GED had been postponed, to Seungho’s dismay, and the amount of time he spent at home was often just enough to catch a few hours of sleep.  On the odd days that Joon got to come home early, such as today, Seungho would be stuck on campus in group meetings or tutoring sessions.  If he could manage, Joon would try and stay awake until Seungho returned… but that was often difficult to do.  With his hectic and exhausting schedule, Joon often fell asleep waiting for him.

Joon glanced up and down the street, searching for the bus that Seungho would be on.  Seeing none, Joon sighed again in sadness.  About to turn to the couch, a figure on the streets below caught his eye.  The streets were nearly empty except for a few cars parked along the street.  A figure dressed in what looked like a hoodie was leaning against one of the vehicles, facing the front of Joon’s apartment.  His head was looking up at the windows of the apartment building as if he was searching for something.

Joon’s heart skipped a beat when the figure suddenly stopped as he faced Joon’s window.  It was impossible to see who it was in the darkness but… it was obvious he was looking right at Joon.  A slither of fear streaked its way across Joon’s mind as he quickly leaned away from the window.  Joon leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, irritated with this sudden irrational fear.  He was clearly being silly but he couldn’t quite explain why he felt this way. 

What a long day that had been… After a full day of class, he had a two tutoring sessions with some middle school students and then an evening group meeting that had lasted much longer than it should have.  By the time he’d left campus, he was rushing to catch the last bus back home.

Setting his backpack on the floor, he looked at the mail package in his hand.  It finally came.  Seungho couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face when he imagined Joon’s surprised face.

When he had cashed in Mun Hyunsik’s cheque, Seungho had focused on the priority payments first.  After everything had been settled, he’d saved a majority of the remaining money in Dara’s account.  He’d set aside a small portion, however, to get Joon a cellphone.  It seemed ridiculous that the boy didn’t yet have even the simplest phone and it drove Seungho crazy sometimes when he couldn’t get a hold of him.  So, Seungho had searched online for a reasonably priced phone and… it finally arrived today.

Setting the box on the kitchen counter, Seungho glanced towards the living room.  He once again found himself smiling as his eyes settled upon Joon’s sleeping figure on the couch.  He must’ve fallen asleep again waiting…

Shaking his head in amusement, Seungho walked over and crouched beside the couch.  He stared for a few moments as Joon breathed deeply in his sleep. 

Seungho had long since given up trying to deny his infatuation with Joon.  His sleeping arrangement plan had backfired on him completely and, rather than confirming that the infatuation was temporary and due to stress, it confirmed that whatever he’d felt for the boy wasn’t going away anytime soon.  He often found himself waking up in the morning to Joon snuggled to his side or to surreal dreams about being kissed by him.  On one occasion, he’d woken up in the middle of the night to a semi- after a more than vivid wet dream.  It was starting to get out of control… and Seungho wasn’t sure how to stop it.  Most of the time he felt confused and extremely guilty for betraying Dara.  Why he felt that way… he couldn’t really explain.

“Joon-ah,” Seungho said softly, giving Joon a gentle shake, “You shouldn’t sleep here.  You’ll catch a cold…”  When he didn’t even stir, Seungho sighed and looped his arms around the boy.  Gently, Seungho scooped Joon up into his arms and made his way to the bedroom.

Occasionally, Seungho came home to a fast-asleep Joon on the couch.  And every time, the boy would be so exhausted that he wouldn’t wake up when Seungho tried to rouse him.  So Seungho had gotten into the habit of carrying him into the bedroom and slipping him under the covers.

Today as well, Seungho grunted as he gently laid Joon onto the bed.  Taking a deep breath, Seungho vaguely mused on the fact that Joon had put on a bit of healthy weight before covering him with the covers and tucking him in.  Sighing, Seungho contemplated the cellphone.  It would have to wait… Nodding at a job well done, Seungho proceeded to clean up his things and shower.  As he climbed into bed next to Joon, he shifted his weight so that he was facing Joon on his side. 

As he watched Joon sleep in the darkness, Seungho mused on how he could no longer sleep without looking at Joon’s face.  On days that Joon came home after him, Seungho would wait up and the two would go to bed together.  They would have only a few minutes to chat before falling asleep.  Joon would always fall asleep first and that suited Seungho just fine.  He’d stay awake and just listen to the soft sounds of Joon’s breathing.  Like the very first night, it would sooth Seungho and eventually help him fall asleep.

Shifting ever so slowly, Joon moved out from under Seungho’s hug and rolled off the bed, but not before place a few kisses on Seungho’s lips.  Satisfied with his daily feed, Joon walked to the window and peered out as a car horn beeped again.

A familiar black sedan sat out in front of the apartment building, its flashers going off.  Joon’s eyes widened as he recognized the vehicle to be Mun Hyunsik’s personal car.  He glanced at the clock and nearly gasped loudly. 

It was nearly 8:00 AM. 

He had overslept.  Heart racing, Joon buzzed around the bedroom as quietly as he could.  He found some wearable clothes and pulled them on.  Running to the washroom, he ran water quickly across his face before making a dash for the front door.  As he ran up to Hyunsik’s car, he took a deep breath.

“Yah!” Hyunsik called when he was only a few feet away, “Damn brat!”

“Sorry hyung,” Joon apologized quickly as he climbed into the car, “I overslept-”

“No ,” Hyunsik interrupted, slapping the back of his head softly, “But never mind that.”  He grinned as he pulled back onto the road.  “I got good news kid,” he said, unable to contain the glee in his voice.

Joon couldn’t help but smile.  In the month that he had interacted with Hyunsik, Joon had discovered that the cocky attitude and smart- side of him was a protective front.  Although Hyunsik was definitely cocky and definitely sometimes a smart-, he was more caring and sincere than Joon had originally thought.  When the other KTA managers had looked down on Joon’s timid personality, Hyunsik had stepped up and challenged them.  Yes, he’d worked Joon to the bone and was often overly demanding, but on the side, he had often made sure Joon was keeping up with the program and staying healthy.  Joon knew that Hyunsik had a lot on the line but he preferred to think the man genuinely cared about him.  Their relationship had developed into a teasing and rough brotherly relationship that gave Joon a strange sense of family.  Oddly enough though, it was very different from the feeling Joon had with Seungho.  Why… he wasn’t quite sure.

“News?” Joon repeated, looking at him. 

“I’m starving,” Hyunsik said, “Let’s get breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” Joon said, eyes widening, “Can we do that?”

Hyunsik let out a ‘pfft’ and said, “It’s out human right to get breakfast.”

Joon let out a small laugh in disbelief as they pulled into the nearest diner.  Hyunsik shooed him out of the car, and pushed him into the restaurant.  Grabbing a menu, he ran his eyes over it quickly before ordering two breakfast sets and two cups of coffee.

When all the breakfast business was taken care of, Hyunsik leaned into the table and grinned.  “You got a catalogue contract,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I-what?” Joon asked, hardly believing his ears. 

“I know,” Hyunsik said, shaking his head in disbelief too, “I didn’t think I was this good.”  He pulled out a folded paper and laid it out on the table.  “You know the brand Critique for men right?” he asked, pointing to the paper, “They want you to model their upcoming new line of suits and fashion for younger men.” 

Joon’s jaw dropped as he grabbed the paper and scanned the contents.  It was a photocopy of a signed contract between KTA and Critique’s home company.  Of course Joon knew Critique.  They were one of the oldest, and highest quality tailored suits brand in Korea.  They had built international recognition some thirty years ago and were now globally known as one of the highest ranking suit tailors available on the market. 

“But… how?” Joon asked in disbelief. 

“Don’t get too excited,” Hyunsik said, “It’s just a few shots of their new, lower quality suits for the younger generation.  Critique’s usual market is the mid-forties to sixties men that are beyond rich.  But since their recent women’s line is doing fairly well, they wanted to see if they can lower the price a tad and get the young and rich brats on board.”  He let out a happy grunt as their breakfast arrived.  Digging in, he said in-between bites, “Still though, it’s one hell of a feat.”

“Yeah,” Joon said, unable to take his eyes away from the contract.  He pushed his breakfast around in his plate as the news sunk in.  Somehow, Joon had landed one of the best modeling spots a greenhorn could get.  “How much…?” he began but wasn’t sure if he should ask. 

“Big money,” Hyunsik said, kicking him in the shins, “Eat your food.” 

Obediently, Joon took a bite of his breakfast, still in a daze.

“I told you,” Hyunsik said, “You are going to make me rich.”  He paused then corrected himself, “Well… richer.”

Joon smiled as the news finally sunk in.  He was going to be a model for Critique.  He was finally going to start earning some money… Joon suddenly couldn’t wait for the day to end.  He wanted to run home and wake Seungho up to tell him the news.  He wanted to hug him and…

“Eat quickly,” Hyunsik interrupted Joon’s thoughts with a nudge, “I have to drive you back to the company.”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Joon quickly shoveled the food into his mouth.  Where were his thoughts going?  As Joon chewed, he imagined kissing a Seungho that was fully awake.  Would he kiss back?  That would, no doubt, feel different from the kisses Joon took every morning.  But… Seungho probably wouldn’t like being kissed by him.  Why would he?  He preferred beautiful women like Dara; Joon would never be able to match up.  Joon found himself coming down from his peak of happiness as he considered this. 

“Oh, you’re home?” he called as Joon shuffled into the living room.

“Hmn,” Joon said, walking over to him, “Hyung, I have good news!”  He seemed excited and was visibly trying to settle himself down.  He sat on the couch next to Seungho, his eyes sparkling.

Amused, Seungho closed his laptop and gave him his full attention.

“I got a job!” Joon said excitedly, “With Critique!”

Seungho’s surprise must have been evident on his face because Joon nodded in agreement.

“I know right?” he said, “I’ll only be doing modelling for their lower-end suits but still!”

“That’s great,” Seungho said, happy that Joon was so happy.  He still had his own reservations about Joon being in the public eye but he was truly happy that Joon was finally smiling from ear to ear after a month of exhaustion.  “When does it start?” he asked.

“The shoot takes place in two days,” Joon said, trying to remember the details, “They said they plan on using it in their product launch two weeks from now!”

“Two weeks,” Seungho said, surprised, “That’s so soon… so you’ll be featured in their advertising?”

“It’ll mostly be catalogues and website,” Joon replied.

“I see,” Seungho said, unsure of how to react.  He was happy… but also anxious about Joon’s exposure to the public.

“You,” Joon said softly, coming down from his high, “You don’t look very happy…”  His face fell a bit as he stared intently at Seungho.

“No,” Seungho said quickly, putting a hand on his thigh, “I’m happy.  I’m just…” What?  How could he explain that he still didn’t think Joon should be in the entertainment industry?  That he wanted Joon as far away from the public eye as possible?  “I’m happy for you,” Seungho said with a smile, dismissing his anxiety.  Joon was doing this for him.  Instead of questioning what was already set in motion, he should just be grateful.

Joon smiled slightly and placed a hand on top of his hand.

The contact startled Seungho and he realized that he was touching Joon’s thigh.  He reflexively pulled his hand back, surprising the both of them.  Joon’s eyes flitted to Seungho’s lips before he quickly looked away. 

Awkward silence settled in between them as both avoided looking at each other.  Remembering the phone, Seungho cleared his throat and retrieved the box.  Forgetting all the words that he had rehearsed for giving the phone, he awkwardly placed the box in Joon’s lap.

Joon looked at the box, then at Seungho, with a puzzled expression.  “What’s this?” he asked, tentatively holding the box.

“Open it,” Seungho said, gazing intently at Joon’s face.  He didn’t want to miss the reaction of Joon’s first look at his new phone.  “It’s not the latest model but…” Seungho trailed off as Joon gently ripped off the tape and pushed aside the foam.

Joon’s eyes widened in surprise as his jaw slacked.  He looked up at Seungho in disbelief then back down into the box.  Slowly, he pulled out the packaged box and placed it in his lap.  Biting his lip, he gently opened the packaging and pulled the new phone from its groove in the box.  He placed the item gently in his hands and stared at it, his expression unreadable.

“You…” Seungho said, looking uncertainly at him, “You don’t look happy…”  Now it was his turn to say those words.  Joon’s reaction was nothing like he’d imagined.  He thought Joon would be bouncing with joy.  But the expression on Joon’s face was one of… sadness?

“I love it,” Joon said softly, looking at him with emotional eyes, “Th-Thank you…”

Taken aback by his response, Seungho smiled awkwardly and nodded.  “Don’t thank me,” he said, trying to clear the mood, “It’s technically your money that I’m borrowing…”

Shaking his head, Joon cradled the phone to his chest.  Without saying another word, he opened up his arms and pulled Seungho into a hug.  He laid his head on Seungho’s shoulder and squeezed his arms together tightly.

Surprised by the gesture, Seungho unconsciously wrapped his arms around Joon and returned the hug.  This reaction was much more on the emotional side than Seungho had predicted.  It was just a phone… but it was definitely more than that to Joon.  Seungho felt Joon sigh into his shoulder as he himself breathed in Joon’s scent.

The two stayed like that for quite a while before Seungho pulled himself apart and gave himself a mental shake.  He needed to snap out of it.

“You should go shower,” Seungho said, clearing his throat, “You… We both have early days tomorrow.”

Nodding, Joon placed the phone back into the box and held it tightly.  “Thank you,” he said again, before turning and heading towards the bedroom. 

As Joon gathered his pajamas and walked into the bathroom, Seungho sighed and scratched his head.  During the moment that they were hugging, Seungho had felt an unbelievably strong urge to turn his head just a few degrees and place kisses along Joon’s neck.  This… thing he felt every time he was around the boy was getting worse. 

Laying down on the couch, Seungho kneaded the bridge of his nose.  How could he fix this?  What were his options?  Staring at the ceiling, Seungho recalled a conversation he’d had with a friend from school a few weeks before.  Something about setting him up on a blind date…

He had woken up nearly an hour before his alarm was set to go off.  Using this chance to get accustomed to his new phone, Joon had slipped in the battery and began fiddling around with it in bed.  Beside him, Seungho slept peacefully unaware of Joon’s excitement as he went through the functions of his new phone.

When Joon first saw the phone the night before, his surprise was evident on his face.  He had felt a flurry of emotions flit through him as he’d picked up the phone and held it in his hands.  Happiness, gratefulness, sadness, tenderness, warmth… he had been so overcome with emotion that he wasn’t sure which one took precedence. 

The cellphone was the first present he had ever remembered receiving that didn’t have any mal-intent attached to it.  Sure, the books that Jang Daeho had given Joon could be considered presents.  But they were filled with a dirty desire to own, to control.  They gave Jang Daeho a reason to visit Joon… to touch Joon in inappropriate places.  But this phone… this phone was so different.

Seungho had grumbled before about Joon not having access to a phone.  He had complained about how he had difficulties getting a hold of Joon and how it was so inconvenient… Joon smiled as he gazed at the gadget.  He could just imagine Seungho researching for a phone online, with his brows furrowed and his fingers clacking away at the selection.  There was so much effort placed into this present… Joon’s heart swelled with emotion.

Propping himself up onto his elbows, Joon gazed at Seungho’s sleeping face.  Was this how it felt to be in love?  He’d read about it a number of times before in books but had never experienced it himself.  He felt an indescribable attachment towards the man sleeping beside him.  He wanted to take care of him, to see him smile, to feel what he felt, and to make him happy. 

Leaning in for his daily kisses, Joon brushed his lips against Seungho’s.  Closing his eyes, he tenderly captured Seungho’s bottom lip with his own as he placed kiss after kiss on the sleeping man.  He inched closer to get a better position, deepening the kiss ever so slightly.

His eyes flew open in shock as he felt himself being kissed back.  Pulling away, he felt his heart sink as he stared into the wide eyes of a very awake Seungho.

Author's Notes:

Wow, sorry for the ridiculously long chapter!  I wasn't sure where I should end it and I figured this was a good place!  It will be at least a few days before I can update again as the next few days will be crazy hectic for me! 

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