Ch 36 - The Past

Love Me

Joon sat across from Jin nervously as the latter ordered a coffee from a disgruntled looking waitress.  At one of the few coffee shops around that was open twenty four hours a day to accommodate the influx of trainees, Joon glanced around nervously to find the place empty except for two attending waitresses and a chef.

Joon fiddled with his water as he gazed at Jin.  He tried to dispel his inner anxiety at being out at night with a stranger again.  The last time he had done this, things had not gone well…

“I take it you’re still at the agency,” Jin said abruptly, nodding to the waitress that brought him his coffee.  Taking a sip, he gazed at Joon with a blank expression on his aged face.

Joon hesitated before he nodded.  “I am,” he said, “And I’ll stay there until…”  He paused.  Until what?  He wasn’t so sure how long he planned to stay in the dorms, only that he needed to be there to be safe.

“I had hoped you would leave on your own,” Jin sighed, “It really is ironic that you ended up working with an affiliate of Lee-Song…”

Joon frowned as Jin sipped his coffee again.  He had mentioned Lee-Song again… it couldn’t be a coincidence.  “Ahjussi,” Joon said, “Who are you?  What do you know about me?”

Jin was silent for a brief moment before he said, “I… would like to know about you as well.”  He looked at Joon, his expression one of confusion.  “Your name… Lee Joon… who gave you that name?” he asked.

Joon hesitated.  Should he divulge information so easily?  After all, he had called Jin out ask questions, not answer them.  “My… caretaker gave me that name,” he said carefully.

“Caretaker?” Jin repeated, frowning, “What kind of family did you grow up in?”

“Isn’t it my turn?” Joon asked, shifting in his seat.  Jin seemed taken aback but nodded and fell silent.  Taking a deep breath, Joon asked, “Who are you?”

Jin contemplated the question momentarily before he answered calmly, “I’m… a friend.  You have nothing to be afraid of.”

“Last time I made a friend,” Joon said quietly, “It almost cost me my life.”  He let out a shaky breath as he gripped his cup tightly. 

Jin seemed surprised before the expression was quickly wiped from his face.  Sighing, he twirled the cup in his hands and said, “I… I’m an old family friend… of your father.”

Joon stared at him in shock as the words processed through his brain.  Family friend?  Father?  He was right, Jin was someone connected to his past!  “You knew my father?” Joon asked, his heart racing, “You knew my family?  Where are they?  Who are they?”

Jin smiled sadly before he said, “Now… isn’t it my turn?”  His smile faded as he sighed and gazed at Joon again.  “You said your caretaker gave you your name.  And from the sounds of your questions… you didn’t grow up with your parents,” Jin concluded, “So what kind of household did you grow up in?”

Joon exhaled a shaky breath, still reeling from what Jin had said about his family.  He tried to calm himself down by taking a sip of water.  As he drew in deep breaths, he thought about Jin’s question.  “I… grew up with a woman who had taken me in after…” he paused, unsure if he should continue.

“After?” Jin repeated, suddenly leaning forward with his eyes narrows, “After what?”

“I was living with a woman who had taken me in,” Joon said with a note of finality in his tone.  He didn’t want to divulge too much information just yet when he had barely learnt anything himself.

“So you were adopted?  She was a foster parent?” Jin said, his gaze intense as he waited for Joon to answer.

“My turn,” Joon said, bracing himself, “You said you’re a friend of my father… who… who is my father?”  His heart pounded against his ribcage as he tightened his grip on the glass.  The silence was deafening as he waited with bated breath.

Jin gazed at him silently, his face grim.  After what seemed like forever, he shook his head and said, “I can’t say for sure until I know for certain that you are who I think you are.”

“Who do you think I am?” Joon asked, his every nerve humming with a rush.  When Jin didn’t reply, Joon continued.  “Lee Changsun,” he said, “You think I’m Lee Changsun?”

“Where do your memories begin?” Jin asked, frustration seeping into his voice, “What is the earliest thing that you remember?”  He leaned forward, his face set into a deep frown.  “Please,” he said softly, “No more games.”

Joon looked at him with hesitance.  It was clear that Jin knew something about his past.  It was either that or the man was a great actor.  But at the same time, Jin was also withholding his information because he didn’t trust Joon.  If neither of them conceded… 

Joon tried to weigh the pros and cons of telling the truth.  Was there any harm in telling a stranger about his past?  He certainly thought so.  Since he had no idea what kind of family or background he came from, Joon was wary of people who might want to hurt him for something he couldn’t remember.  And Seungho did say that he wasn’t the best at judging people… 

On the flip side though, he had a lot to gain if Jin was telling the truth.  His past had always been a dark mystery; something he could never solve.  He had given up on it years ago but now, would he walk away from the only clue to present itself in nearly ten years?  Because he was too afraid?

Squaring his shoulders, Joon sat straighter and took a deep breath.  “My earliest memory,” he said, “Was waking up in the closet of an empty home.”  He paused, trying to gauge Jin’s reaction.

Jin’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before his face was carefully wiped blank.  He waited silently for Joon to continue.  He appeared calm but, Joon noticed, his hands gripped his coffee mug tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

“I… I left the house and wandered outside.  The woman I’d mentioned… she found me shortly after and took me in,” Joon said, “I lived with her for about nine years…”

Jin clenched his jaw as his gaze fell to his cup.  He took a deep breath before he asked quietly, “How old were you at the time?”  When Joon didn’t reply, he looked up at Joon with a flurry of emotions and repeated, “How old?”

“I’m... not really sure,” Joon answered honestly, “The woman guessed that I was maybe nine or ten years old.”

“I see…” Jin replied, his gaze dropping again.  He fell silent as he let the information sink in.  His jaw clenched and unclenched, his hands fiddling with the coffee cup.

Joon watched with apprehension, his own curiosity burning a hole inside his stomach.  “Isn’t it about time you told me who you are, Jin-ahjussi?” Joon asked.

Jin took a deep breath before he looked up at Joon.  He struggled to maintain control of his expressions as he gathered his thoughts.  Finally, he said in a quiet tone of voice, “I… am Jin.  At least… that’s what I go by now.”  He paused as he leaned back in his seat.  “Nine years ago,” he said softly, drawing circles over the edge of his cup, “I went by the name of Kang Sangki and I worked as an executive member of the management team at Lee-Song.”

Joon felt his stomach drop to the floor as he stared at Jin in shock.  Kang… Sangki?  Wasn’t that…?  Reaching into his pocket, Joon slowly pulled out the business card he had tucked away.  His hands shook as he read the name again on the card.  He let out a shaky breath and held the card out to Jin.

Taken aback, Jin leaned forward and took the card.  He let out a bitter laugh as he read it and said, “You still had this?”  He smiled sadly and handed the card back to Joon.  “I remember tucking this into your pocket before I left,” he murmured, frowning, “Why isn’t my number on here?”

Joon blinked at his question.  “What do you mean?” he asked, looking at the card.  All that was legible was the name Kang Sangki and Lee-Song Group.  There were no traces of a phone number.  In fact, there were no traces of any contact information on the card.

“Business cards always have some form of contact information,” Jin replied, “Mine always had a few phone numbers and an e-mail address.  That’s the whole point isn’t it?  To provide people with a way to contact you?”  He glanced at the card suspiciously.  “So why…” he muttered, “Why isn’t my contact information on there?”

“I don’t remember there being any contact information,” Joon said, “Kyung… the woman that took me in took this from me shortly after she found me and gave it to the police to try and find my family.  When she returned this to me, it only had the name and company…”

Jin frowned suspiciously.  “The woman… what did you say her name was?” he asked.

Joon bit his lip and shook his head.  “That’s… that’s not important anymore,” he said, unwilling to give out her name, “I don’t live with her anymore.”

“It does matter,” Jin said, waving to the waitress for another cup of coffee, “She could have been part of the reason you don’t have a family.”

Joon fell into a shocked silence as the waitress came over and refilled Jin’s coffee.  Was that even possible?  That Kim Kyungran… that Dara and Cheondoong’s mother was somehow involved in his past?

“What is the reason?” Joon asked, “You still haven’t told me anything other than that you now live as Jin rather than Kang Sangki.”  He looked at the card and asked, “You said you put this in my pocket before you left… what does that mean?”

Sighing, Jin shifted in his seat and looked Joon in the eye.  “I was the one that left you in the empty house,” he said softly. 

Joon’s eyes widened as he stared back at the sincerely regretful expression on Jin’s face.  Biting his lip to keep the questions at bay, he waited for Jin to continue.

“It’s probably better to start from the beginning,” Jin muttered, sipping his coffee.  Taking another deep breath, he said quietly, “You… your real name is Lee Changsun.”  He paused and organized his thoughts.  “Your father was a life-long friend of mine,” he said softly, “He was also the CEO and founder of the multinational corporation… Lee Sukgyun of Lee-Song Group.”

Silence fell as Joon tried to comprehend the information.  His father… was the CEO and founder of Lee-Song Group?  How was this even possible?  Joon gripped the table as he reeled from the ludicrous revelation.  “I…” he stuttered, unsure of what to say.  Realizing Jin’s form of speech, he asked, “Was?  What do you mean was?”

Jin clenched his jaw before saying quietly, “Your father passed away nine years ago due to poor health.”  He fell silent as he sloshed the coffee around in his cup.

“What about my mother?” he asked hopefully.

Jin shook his head and replied, “Your birth mother… she died when you were two.  It was cervical cancer.  They discovered it too late; she was already stage four.”

Joon couldn’t help the flood of disappoint and loss that rushed through him at the news.  For a brief, shining moment, Joon had thought he could finally meet his biological parents.  He had long since craved for his memories of his family and tonight, he thought he would finally be able to meet the people he used to call family.  But now… although he had never gotten the chance to meet them or remember them, he suddenly felt empty and cold. 

They sat in silence for what seemed like an hour as they both stewed in their thoughts.  Finally snapping out of his thoughts, Joon looked up at Jin.  What was it he had said…?  “You… you said my birth mother,” he said slowly, “Does that mean… I have a step-mother?”

Jin nodded and downed the rest of his coffee.  “Three years after your mother’s death, your father met another woman at a corporate business social.  She was the daughter of a subsidiary,” he said bitterly, “They married after dating for six months and had a child a few years later.”

Surprised by the bitter tone, Joon waited for Jin to continue.  When he didn’t Joon shifted in his seat and said, “You sound… like you don’t really like her.”

Jin looked up in surprise before laughing bitterly.  “Of course I didn’t like her,” he said, each word spitting with something vicious, “She was a poisonous person with two faces.  She became sickeningly sweet in front of your father and was viciously brutal to the other people beneath her.  She even managed to have your father name her as the co-CEO and have the company name changed to Lee-Song.”  He shook his head in disgust.  “She was the worst thing to have ever happened to Sukgyun,” he muttered, gripping his mug tightly.

Joon sat back and listened intently as Jin described his step-mother.  His mind still reeling from all this information, he tried to process everything that Jin was telling him.  It was like trying to count sand in a sand pile.

“But…” Joon said when Jin had finished ranting about his step-mother, “None of this explains why I woke up in an empty house.”  He looked at Jin with confusion.  “Why did you leave me there?” he asked, “And… and why can’t I remember any of it?”

Jin bit his lip as he contemplated Joon’s questions.  His face grew dark again as he leaned forward onto the table and ran his hands over his face.  With a heavy sigh, he said, “What I’m about to tell you will sound both farfetched and crazy.”

“Quite honestly,” Joon said, “Most of what you’ve told me already sounds farfetched and crazy so…”  He shifted in his seat as he waited silently.  Although he had said that, his heart had quickened at Jin’s warning.  What else could be more farfetched and crazy that what he had already been told?

Pausing slightly, Jin straightened himself in his seat and sighed.  “I don’t know why you don’t remember anything; that’s something I’m trying to figure out myself,” he said, pausing to look at Joon, “But… the reason I left you in that empty house…”

Joon waited silently, his heart thudding against his ribcage.

With a sigh, Jin said softly, “The reason I left you in that empty house was to save your life.  Your step-mother... she had planned on having you killed.”


Author's notes:

And the plot THICKENS!!!  Dun dun DUN!!!  Thanks for reading and stay tuned!!  Readers, I ♥ you!!

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pokopori
I'm on a short hiatus (not so short for Love Me I know) since I have some real life stuff to do. I'll be back in a few weeks!

Comments

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DawnDee
#1
Chapter 30: this chapter deserves thousands upvote
DawnDee
#2
Chapter 29: feed me with fluffyly fluff!!!
DawnDee
#3
Chapter 9: you nailed the seungho solo action part. drive me insane. my imagination running wild.
sorry im spamming your comment. sorry not sorry xoxo
DawnDee
#4
Chapter 8: uuuuuuuuuuuuu they kisseddddd. omooooo
DawnDee
#5
Chapter 6: this chapter. i cant. lol. literally lol-ing. they both forgot that they slept with each other lololol. i love this. will you come back from hiatus????
Honeyabslover21 #6
Chapter 79: I know it's been way too long (what with four years) since you aunthored 'Love me' but it would be great if you could find it in you and the time to update the story. This has given me a lot and made me feel things indescribable. I'd be grateful if you could give us an end to it. I'm so addicted that I've lost count of the times I've read it. I NEED to know what's next in line for Seungho and Joon. Even if it's not a happy ending, I need to know what happens. Please . An update is long overdue. Thank you.
Goldenapplelover21 #7
Still looking forward to you updating 'Love me'. I happened to stumble upon fanfic just a few days back and my oh my must I say I loved it. I never thought I'd be into reading such stuff but the way you have captured the beauty of love at its finest , I just couldn't help myself. I never thought such a relationship between two men could stir up so much emotions inside of me, such I thought I never possessed. And thank you for that. And I really hope you continue with the story.
heungsoonshipper
#8
Chapter 23: omg it's so painful to read what happened to Joon i'm crying so much :'((((
Renshaisme
#9
Chapter 80: Can't even remember how many times I've read this story but whenever I re-read it I'm always fallin deeper on every chapters~ it's take me high and down with the plots~~ Every character and the details is so beautifully written.. this story is so precious for me bcz it's one of the reasons why I become a SeungJoon shipper! :)
I hope your life is going better now author-nim~~ and somehow you will find the sparks back to continue this story ^^ author-nim hwaiting! (>w<)9
Wow-Fictastic-Baby
#10
I reallyyyyyy miss this story! ;; I hope you update soon!