The ride back to the dorms had been silent but much more comfortable than before.  Hyunsik had provided all the KTA staff members, and talents with rides to the funeral.  The had taken the ride back to the dorms with Cheondoong, leaving Joon and Seungho to ride with the remaining two staff. 

As the van pulled to a stop in front of the dorms, Joon breathed a sigh of relief and climbed out.  The day had been incredibly depressing, not to mention the little verbal scuffle they’d gotten into with Cheondoong at the end.  Joon was glad that it was finally all over; he was starving for dinner and some sleep.

As if on the same wavelength, Seungho followed him up stairs to their dorm and asked, “We don’t have any leftovers for dinner do we?  Should I run out and grab a pizza?”

“I don’t think we do,” Joon replied, pushing the door open and grabbing a coat hanger, “A pizza’s probably a good idea.  I don’t feel like making anything…”

“Hmn,” Seungho agreed, shrugging out of his blazer and letting Joon take it from him, “I need to wash the gunk out of my hair.  It weighs a ton from all the gel and… whatever else they put in there to make it invincible against wind.”  He picked at his hair and grimaced.

Joon nodded and hung up their blazers.  “You should shower,” he said, “I’ll see if there’s anything in the fridge-”

“Let’s shower together,” Seungho said, wrapping his arms around Joon’s waist from behind and setting his chin on Joon’s shoulder, “We don’t have to do anything but… I want your company.”   He sighed softly and hugged Joon.

Joon leaned his cheek against Seungho’s and nodded.  The mood of the day certainly wasn’t suitable for making love but he could use the company too.  Their showers were usually steamy and filled with but sometimes, it was enough to just feel their arms and bodies bumping into each other as they reached for the shampoo.  There was a special kind of warmth from just being in each other’s company that both of them needed after a day like this.

Shrugging out of their clothes, Joon let himself be led into the bathroom.  As Seungho the shower with his other hand, Joon squeezed the hand that he held in his.  Seungho turned and pulled him in for a sweet kiss on the lips before he stepped inside the now steaming shower. 

Stepping over the tub, Joon joined him and closed the shower curtain.  He let the hot water splash over him and closed his eyes.  He felt Seungho pull him into a hug and the two stood under the hot stream of water in a comfortable silence.  Joon felt Seungho’s heart beat steadily between them and sighed as the exhaustion seeped out of him.  Closing his eyes, he laid his head on Seungho’s shoulder and bathed in the warmth.  After what seemed like a long time, Joon felt Seungho shift to reach for the shampoo.

“Oh,” Seungho said, his voice echoing in the shower, “I forgot to grab the new bottle of shampoo.”  He squeezed the last dollop of shampoo into his palm and rubbed it on Joon’s crown.  “I’m going to go grab one,” he said, leaning in for a soft kiss before sweeping back the shower curtains enough to get out.

Joon closed his eyes and let the hot water run over his face.  He touched his lips where Seungho had kissed him and sighed.  After everything that’s happened, he still felt comfort in Seungho’s kisses.  He doubted that would ever change.

Cheondoong sat in the dark of his dorm and held his head in his hands.  The skies had gotten dark as they’d driven back from the cemetery and had become near black by the time they got to the dorms.  Without turning on a light, he’d tossed his blazer to the floor and took a seat on his bed.

What a day… what a week, to be more precise.  The news of his mother’s death had taken significant toll on him, leaving him exhausted with little sleep and appetite.  With their rocky relationship, he had no idea how much he’d be affected when his mother was no longer there.  And although she had never really been a part of his life, her death was something completely different than her absence.  He had no idea that it would leave him feeling empty and alone… as his father’s death had done.  

Fortunately, Hyunsik had given him some time and space to sort things through.  With help from some of Hyunsik’s network, Cheondoong was able to settle funeral arrangements without much hassle.  Word about her suicide traveled quickly amongst his mother’s previous employer and some showed up to pay their respects.  It was a small but dignified funeral. 

Cheondoong squeezed the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes.  He hadn’t meant to start a fight with Seungho and Joon.  He had let the exhaustion and emotions overtake him, causing him to run his mouth and point fingers.  The last thing he’d wanted was to push away the people that truly cared about him.  He had watched his sister do the same to Seungho when their father died… Cheondoong hadn’t understood at the time why anyone would ever do such a thing.

But… he couldn’t deny that he was suspicious about Joon.  It seemed like everyone was interested in him but no one would admit the reasons for it.  It was true that Cheondoong had done some research and a few rich names turned up in the missing childrens report.  But still… even if he had his suspicions, they were simply that… just suspicions.  

From the looks of it, Joon didn’t know himself who he was.  His expression had been carefully blank when Cheondoong brought up the topic at the cemetery.  But… what if he had pushed more?  What if Seungho hadn’t interrupted?

He had been so upset when Seungho interrupted them that his suspicions about their relationship suddenly flared and morphed into irritation.  He’d lashed out and almost said some terrible things.  He’d overreacted; there was no way they were in that kind of a relationship.  He knew Joon was special to Seungho and vice versa because of what had happened to Joon and their relationship with Dara.  But… that was it right?  He’d overreacted and became too absorbed in his own silly suspicions.  Fortunately Seungho had cut him off in time at the cemetery; he could’ve caused big problems…

Cheondoong sighed as he heard a key push into the door.  It swung open and Yongjae walked in lazily, shutting the door behind him without much care.  Taking a few steps, he swore under his breath as he tripped over Cheondoong’s blazer and stumbled in the dark.  Muttering a few more curse words, Yongjae flicked the light on and jumped when he spotted Cheondoong.

“Oh fuuah-” he exclaimed, staggering back against the wall in surprise, “What-Why the are you sittin here in the dark?!  You gave me a heart attack…”  He sighed dramatically and frowned irritably.  “ing weirdo,” he scowled, placing a hand over his heart.  He walked over to his bed and flopped down on it.  He was silent for only a brief moment before he said, “So… I heard about your mother…”

Cheondoong stood quickly, making Yongjae flinch in surprise.  He was not in the mood to discuss this with Yongjae.  Before the latter could say another word, Cheondoong quickly made his way out the door and into the hall.  Now what? 

Cheondoong bit his lip and glanced down the hall towards the stairs.  He should apologize… to Seungho and Joon.  He’d said some disrespectful things that afternoon and he couldn’t expect things to just be forgiven.  He needed to apologize.

Nodding to himself in agreement, he made his way up a flight of stairs and down the hall to Joon and Seungho’s dorm.  Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and knocked on the door.  The apology would be a bit embarrassing but it was necessary.  He just hoped the two would be forgiving about his tantrum…

He blinked when there was no response.  That’s odd; he was sure they’d arrived back to the dorms too.  Their vehicles had left the cemetery around the same time.  He knocked again and waited.  Again, though, there was no answer.  Curious, he tried the door knob.  To his surprise, the door pushed open easily.  That’s… odd.

He poked his head inside; the lights were on and the hangers on the wall held the blazers the two had worn to the cemetery.  So… they were home right?

“Hyungs?” he called out, stepping inside.  Once inside, he heard the sound of the shower running and sighed in understanding.  One of them was in the shower.  But where was the other one?  Cheondoong stepped farther inside the apartment; the other one was nowhere to be seen.  “Hyung?” he called again, standing in the middle of the bachelor room.  Did the other one step out?

“Oh,” Cheondoong heard a voice from the bathroom, “I forgot to grab the new bottle of shampoo.”  He turned towards the bathroom, where steam billowed out from the door that was ajar.  It sounded like Seungho’s voice.  So if Seungho was in the shower, where was Joon?  “I’m going to go grab one,” Cheondoong heard Seungho say again and heard the sound of shower curtains being pulled back.  

Cheondoong blinked as a thought suddenly flashed through his mind.  Who… was Seungho talking to?  But before he could react, the bathroom door swung back and a still wet and half- Seungho stepped out.

Seungho froze mid-step and his eyes widened into saucers as he spotted Cheondoong standing in the middle of the room.  His jaw dropped and he opened his mouth in a brief moment of silence before he managed to stutter, “Ch-Cheon… why are you-?”

“Who were you talking to?” Cheondoon blurted out, interrupting him.  Frozen in a moment of awkwardness, it was the first thing that came to his mind.  He felt his heart race as stared back at Seungho with his own shock.

“Who…” Seungho repeated, at a loss for words.  He blinked before letting out a breath to try and compose himself.  “Before that,” he said, almost in defeat, “Why are you here?”

“I’ll tell you why,” Cheondoong said, frowning, “As soon as you tell me who you were talking to in the shower.”  His mind swirled with possibilities.  Did Seungho have a girl in there?  On a day like this… right after a funeral?  It was impossible; Seungho wasn’t that kind of person.  But then… who could it be?  Cheondoong could feel the voice in the back of his head shouting a name but he refused to acknowledge it.  He prayed with all his might that Seungho would tell him that it was a simple case of Seungho muttering to himself.

“I…” Seungho said, running a hand through his wet hair, “I would’ve preferred to tell you this differently but…” He trailed off and sighed.  After a brief moment of silence, he squared his shoulders and looked Cheondoong in the eye.  “I was talking to your Jo-” he started but was interrupted as the bathroom door squeaked open again.

“What’s taking you-” Joon said, poking his head around the door.  He cut himself short as his eyes widened with shock.

Cheondoong felt his breath hitch as he stared at Joon’s face from behind the door.  A thick silence hung in the air as the three of them stood with bated breath.

It… this couldn’t be happening.  Did he just… walk in on his two hyungs taking a shower together?  Cheondoong looked back between Joon and Seungho, his own mouth dropped in shock.  Seungho had been in the shower… talking to Joon.  Was this really happening?  He had his suspicions about this when Seungho had suddenly walked out of the bathroom.  Joon had been nowhere to be seen and Seungho had been talking to someone in the shower; it was a simple matter of putting two and two together.

“Cheondoong-ah,” Seungho sighed, breaking the silence, “We should talk about this… Can we get dressed first though?”

Joon bit his lip and looked to the floor.  He shrunk his head back behind the door a bit but the guilt was clear on his face.

“You…” Cheondoong said, his voice raspy, “You guys were just washing together right?”  He looked at Seungho with hope.  “Like how I used to shower with my dad when I was a kid,” he said, “Right?”  Because there was nothing wrong with two men showering together… right?  It didn’t mean anything ual had taken place; close friends could do that too… right?

Seungho shook his head, making Cheondoong’s stomach drop to his feet.  “No,” Seungho said, “I mean, we were… yes… but, Cheondoong-ah… Joonie and I are-”

“If you’d called me,” Cheondoong interrupted, refusing to let Seungho finish, “I could’ve joined you guys.”  He tried to laugh it off.  He scratched his head and put a smile on his face.  “You guys shouldn’t do that though, people will misunderstand-” he said, refusing to look at Joon who had almost disappeared behind the door again.

“Cheondoong-ah,” Seungho interrupted, “There’s nothing to misunderstand.”  He sighed and said firmly, “Joonie and I are in a romantic relationship.  We… we’re da-”

“ that,” Cheondoong interrupted, feeling his shock flare into disgust and anger.  He could feel his emotions swirl in the pit of his stomach, making him feel sick.  “Romantic relationship?  Do you even realize what you’re saying, hyung?” he asked, staring a hole into Seungho’s face, “This is… unbelievable.”

“I know it’s probably difficult for you to accept,” Seungho said gently, “But it’s-”

“What about noona?” Cheondoong spat, feeling a fresh wave of anger wash over him.  He had hoped so much that Seungho’s reappearance in their lives would mean a new start for his sister.  They had loved each other so much; Dara’s mistake of pushing Seungho away at the time of her father’s death could finally be corrected.  Cheondoong had been looking forward to Seungho being a real part of his family…

Seungho seemed taken aback by the question.  Getting over the shock of being asked about Dara, he sighed in frustration and said, “Your sister and I… we’re not like that anymore.  What happened at the time was unfortunate but ever since we broke up, I never intended-”

“So what?” Cheondoong said, feeling hopelessly frustrated at Seungho’s words, “Your love for her was that shallow?  I thought you cared about her more than that.  But I guess not, since you’re banging a guy now-”

“Hey,” Seungho snapped, his own temper flaring, “Watch your mouth.  My relationship with Joon has nothing to do with Dara-noona.  I still care about her very much but not in the way you want me to be.”

“This is bull,” Cheondoong whispered, shaking his head, “I can’t believe this…”

“Cheondoong-ah…” Joon murmured but Cheondoong quickly interrupted him.

“I’m talking to my Seungho-hyung,” he hissed, refusing to look at Joon, “I don’t want to hear anything from you.”

“Yah,” Seungho said, frowning, as Joon fell silent again, “Don’t talk to your hyung like that.”

“My hyung?” Cheondoong laughed hollowly, “Is he my hyung?”  He turned to Joon and glared at him with conviction.  “Are you my hyung?” he said softly, “You put my sister in the hospital; you’re the reason my mother committed suicide.  And now… you’ve changed my Seungho-hyung into a deviant that thinks he’s in love with a man.”  He laughed bitterly as Joon’s gaze fell to the floor.

“Park Cheondoong,” Seungho said, his voice dangerously low but Cheondoong wasn’t done.

“You’re not my hyung,” Cheondoong said, shaking his head, “You’re just… someone who’s ruined my life.”

“That’s enough,” Seungho said quietly, stepping in front of Cheondoong and blocking Joon from his line of vision, “We need to talk about this, but we can’t do it like this.  Let us get dressed first-”

“Don’t bother,” Cheondoong said, feeling all of his anger deflate and the exhaustion set in, “Go back to your shower.  I’m done here.”  Without waiting for a response, he walked around them and out the door.  Closing it with a soft click, Cheondoong made his way to the stairs quickly and went down them.  Before reaching his floor, he suddenly wobbled and lost his balance.  Grabbing the railing for support, he sat down and his head between his knees.  He felt lightheaded and dizzy.  It was all he could do to keep the nausea at bay.

Without the absence of anger, all that was left was a sense of shock and betrayal.  How could they do this to him?  And now, of all times?  It didn’t make sense… none of this made sense.  He felt numb and was unsure what to do next.  Go back to the dorm?  And be subject to Yongjae’s irritating presence?  Cheondoong was sure he would throw up if he had to do that.  So what then?  Taking out his phone, Cheondoong scrolled through his contacts.  He didn’t have many close friends that he could talk to about this.  But there was one…

Putting the phone to his hear, Cheondoong closed his eyes and tried to dispel the dizziness.  As the phone clicked, he sighed and muttered into the phone, “Chulyong-ah… are you busy?”

Author's notes:

Looks like I'm doing about one chapter a week!  I can't promise you I'll get faster again but I do need to be at a certain stage before December so... we'll see!  Anyways... 150 subscribers and over 10,000 views!!  THANK YOU to all my readers!  You guys are the best!