Seungho took a deep breath as he gripped his duffle bag and gazed up at his parents’ house.  It was an impromptu visit requested by his father of all people.  The call had been from his mother, who seemed both anxious and defeated on the phone, and he barely had time to gather his things and buy a ticket for the next bus home.  He’d invited Joon to come with him for the weekend – he needed the moral support if he was to face the wrath of his father – but Joon mentioned having plans for the weekend and declined hastily.  When Seungho had asked for details, Joon assured him it wasn’t anything of concern and changed the subject. 

So here he stood, on the doorstep of his parents’ house, feeling like a criminal about to face judgement for his crimes.  Except, he reminded himself as he straightened out his shoulders and stood taller, he had committed none.  He was sure this visit would be regarding his uality and he had long since realized that what he felt for Joon was anything but a crime.  It was powerful and pure so he had nothing to worry about… right?

“Right…” he muttered under his breath as he ran the doorbell.  He waited with bated breath as he heard footsteps behind the door.  And then…

“You’re here?” his mother asked as she opened the door, “Was the ride okay?”  She looked both anxious and relieved; Seungho wasn’t sure if that was a good sign.  She pulled him into a hug and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Mmn,” he said, returning her hug before letting her go, “It was fine.”  He paused as he looked up and glanced around the empty foyer.  “Dad and Seunghoon…?” he asked tentatively, sharing an anxious look with his mother.

His mother glanced towards the living room and sighed.  “Seunghoon is in his room…” she said, “You’re father is in the living room.”  She patted his arm and gave him a weak smile.  “Go put your bag in your room first?” she said, giving him a gentle push towards the stairs, “And wash up-”

“Yang Seungho,” his father’s deep voice reverberated down the hall, making the both of them jump.

His mother frowned as she glanced at the living room again before sighing.  “Maybe…” she started, taking his bag from his hand.

“Yeah,” Seungho said, feeling his heart thud loudly in his chest, “I’ll see abeoji first.”  Steeling himself, he walked with heavy steps into the living room and bowed slightly as his father’s intimidating figure came into view.  “I’m home, abeoji,” he said, glad that his voice came out much more confident than he’d felt.

His father looked up at him from his seat on the couch and frowned.  “You look different,” his father said, his dark eyes looking Seungho up and down with disapproval, “Since when did you start dying your hair and wearing earrings like a girl?”  He grunted and deepened his frown.

Seungho frowned slightly.  It wasn’t as if his father hadn’t know about his time at KTA; wasn’t it only normal for models to dye their hair and get piercings?  He was tempted to ask just when his father started concerning himself with such things but bit his tongue at the retort.  Instead, he said calmly, “It was necessary for my part-time job with the modeling agency-” he began but was cut off as his father grunted again.

“Other boys do construction work, or wait tables,” his father said, “But my son decides to wear earrings and make up?”  He shook his head as he sighed.  “Disgraceful,” he muttered, thumping his fist onto the sofa arm lightly.

Seungho could feel his temper rising.  He rarely spoke back to his father; he was taught to never argue with elders and always give them your utmost respect.  But when the attacks were clearly jabs at a bigger issue, he wasn’t sure he could still take it all in.  Fortunately, before he said something to elevate the situation, his mother stepped in.

“Honey, Seungho just got back,” she said to his father, “Why don’t we let him wash up.  I’ll make some dinner and we can talk about this tomorrow-”

“Will tomorrow make a difference?” his father interjected again, “Will talking about this tomorrow change anything?”  He glared at his wife.

Feeling his temper spill over, Seungho clenched his fists and frowned.  “What, is it exactly, that you want to change?” he asked as his mother looked at him with horror, “Let’s not beat around the bush.  Yes, I’m in love with a man.  Does that bother you?”  He could almost feel the anxiety roll off of his mother’s shoulders as she took a step closer to his father and placed a hand on his shoulder to suppress him.

His father’s face turned a nasty shade of purple as he balled his hands into fists and leapt up from his seat.  “YANG SEUNGHO,” he roared, “I did not raise you to be woman!  Your actions embarrass me and are disgraceful-”

“Honey,” his mother said quickly as she gripped his father’s right fist, “Calm down!  Seungho-yah, be a good boy and go upstairs-” 

“A woman?” Seungho said, gritting his teeth, “Are you serious?”  Before he could continue, his father jerked away from his mother and took a step forward.  

“Your actions would be considered filthy and immoral,” his father said angrily as he pointed a finger into Seungho’s face, “In my day, you would be tortured and killed for being such a deviant!”

Seungho couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  Was his father, who was the most rational and logical man he had ever looked up to, really saying such silly things?  “Where have you been for the past twenty years?” Seungho seethed, “The world has changed, abeoji!  Maybe I would still be judged, but I can’t change who I am!  Just like you can’t change your prideful nature-”

He was cut short as his father suddenly threw a fist at him.  The punch landed squarely on his jaw and sent him reeling with surprise.  He heard his mother let out a gasp of horror as she threw herself in between them and wrapped her arms around his father’s midriff.

Seungho his lip and tasted copper.  His ears were still ringing as he straightened himself and wiped the blood from his mouth.  He could feel his blood boiling as he gazed at his father’s seething figure.  Suppressing the urge to make things worse, he let out a breath and cooled his gaze.

“Are we done?” he asked, “If the only reason you asked me to come home was so you could throw your judgements at me, then I’ll be leaving.”  Without waiting for an answer, he turned and began walking out of the room.  He could hear his mother say something quietly to his father in the background before she rushed out after him.

“Seu-Seungho-yah,” she said, taking a hold of his arm and digging her heels into the floor, “Wait a minute – stop, stop!”  She reached forward and cupped his face with her hands as she forced him to look at her.  “Don’t you do this to your father,” she said quietly, her eyes pleading, “You understand him!  He’s frustrated and upset-”

“Omma,” Seungho said, feeling exhaustion seep in as his anger began to dissipate.  It was replaced with disappointment and the heavy weight of sadness.  He knew his father would be upset about this but never had he ever expected things to be this bad.  He had been confident that his father would eventually come to accept him like his mother had but that confidence had been completely shattered by that punch.  Now, he wasn’t sure what to do anymore…

“Listen to me,” his mother said, giving his head a gentle shake, “Let him cool off.  You cool off too.  Go to your room or go wash up.  Stay upstairs and I’ll talk to him.”  She sighed as she let go of his face and rubbed her temples.  “I’ll make some dinner after I calm him down,” she said with a weak smile, “He’ll feel much better with a full stomach.  And you will too.”

Though Seungho would usually agree, he wasn’t so sure food could solve the problem this time.  Sighing, he nodded and let himself be nudged towards the stairs.  As he climbed them, he heard his mother shuffling back into the living room.  Soon, angry murmurs followed as she got to work.  Not wanting to hear anything else his father had to say, Seungho climbed the stairs quickly and reached the second floor landing with his bag in his hand.  He paused, however, as he noticed his younger brother standing near his bedroom door.

“Hyung,” Seunghoon said, his face filled with worry.  His eyes looked over the cut on Seungho’s lip before he sighed and shook his head.  “Can’t…” he started, meeting Seungho’s eyes, “Can’t you just… go back to normal?”

Seungho felt his gut twist as he looked into the disappointed face of his younger brother.  Seunghoon had always looked up to him with admiration and affection; the Seunghoon that stood before him now was anxious and filled with disappointment.  His brother’s plea seemed to drive a knife deeper into his heart than his father’s punch ever could.

Gripping his bag, he said softly, “I’m sorry, Hoonie.  This is normal now.”  He felt his heart sink as his brother returned to his own bedroom without another word.  Letting out deep breath, Seungho walked into his own room and closed the door behind him.  Throwing his duffle bag to the floor, he collapsed onto his bed and burrowed his face into his pillow.  

He felt empty now that the anger was gone.  He felt as if there was a black hole in his chest that was swallowing him up from the inside out.  He wanted to scream… to cry.  He wanted Joon’s soothing words and his gentle back rubs.  He wanted Joon’s warmth and scent.  And as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted his father’s approval.  He wanted his father to look at him with pride again rather than disdain.  Letting out a shaky breath, Seungho felt tears sting at the back of his eyes.  He closed them tightly and tried to fight them back. 

He knew time would be his best hope of having his father finally accept him.  But at this point, as he laid on his bed and listened to the angry murmurs echoing from downstairs, the morning wasn’t looking too bright either.

Joon shifted uncomfortably as he sat in the waiting room.  He looked up as a nurse walked out of one of the rooms with a clipboard.  She glanced around before walking back in without a word.  He sighed as he settled back down into his chair. 

It had been at least an hour since he’d arrived at the hospital.  As per Lee-Song’s directions, he’d told the receptionist that he was here for the DNA test.  And as he’d expected, there were a few reporters who had taken the chance to snap a few photos of him as he passed them.  He had been lead down a few halls until he was told to wait in a room full of people.  He’d received curious looks; some seemed to recognize him while others looked right through him.

He bounced his leg absentmindedly as he waited to be called on.  He was nervous; there was no doubt about that.  Even though he knew he wouldn’t get the results right away, it still made him anxious to know that things could change drastically within the next two or three days.  From what he had found out online, the test would involve a simple swab of the inside of his mouth.  It wasn’t the test itself that terrified him but the results.  Over the past week, he had wondered again and again why he had opened his big mouth and requested this.  He regretted it every time he watched Seungho make dinner, every time they shared an intimate kiss or moment, and every time he was left alone with his thoughts.  

“Lee Joon-shi,” a nurse suddenly called as she poked her head out of the door, “Lee Joon-shi?”

“Yes,” Joon replied, standing and walking over to her nervously, “I’m Lee Joon…”

“Follow me please,” the nurse said as she held the door open for him.  She led the way down a short hallway before she gestured for him to enter one of the rooms and sit.  “It’s a simple cotton swab,” she said, “Say ‘aah’.” 

Opening his mouth, Joon watched as she took a long wooden swab and brushed it on the inside of his cheek.  She then sealed it inside of a small plastic tube and labeled it with a sticker.  “All done,” she said, flashing him a quick smile.

Biting his lips, Joon asked tentatively, “How soon…?”

“Usually it takes about a week but you’ll probably get results in two days,” she said, “We’ll notify you by phone so please stop at the front desk to verify your contact information.”  With a polite nod, she went on her way, leaving him staring after her.

That was it.  As Joon walked back out into the waiting room and towards the exit, he felt strangely relieved.  Even though he still didn’t know the results, what’s done is done.  There was no going back now and that fact offered him a little bit of comfort.  All he had to do now… all he could do now was wait.  And when he got the results, he would tell Seungho.

Joon squinted in the sunlight as he stepped outside.  He wanted to see Seungho.  He wanted to spend the next two days stuck to the other’s side.  He wanted to cherish every second he still had left.  He looked up towards the sky and sighed.  Until Seungho returned from his parents’ house, he would have to wait.  And for the first time in weeks, Joon prayed that time would speed up so that he could see Seungho even just a second sooner.

Seungho blinked as the sun streamed in from his windows.  Sighing, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

He hadn’t slept a wink.  The entire night, his father’s words rang in his ears like a broken record.  His jaw throbbed as the punch floated to the surface of his mind again and again.  Never had he ever been hit like that before.  Even as a child, he had been obedient enough to earn only praise and rarely criticism.  It seemed he’d pushed his father to the extreme this time and, in return, both sides were wounded with battle scars.

Sitting back up, Seungho looked at his unpacked duffle bag.  He had intended to stay the entire weekend but he wasn’t sure that was a good idea anymore.  If time was what his father needed then he would rather give it to him with a few hundred miles distance.  It would certainly make things easier for him.  More than his father’s approval, he wanted to see Joon as soon as possible.

He was brought from his thoughts as a gentle knock came on his door.  He heard his mother clear his throat before she said softly, “Seungho-yah… are you awake?  Come down for breakfast.  You didn’t have dinner last night so I know you’re starving.  You hear me?”

Sighing, Seungho walked over to the door and opened it.  His mother looked up with surprise and then concern when she spotted the duffle bag in his hand.  

“Omma,” he said, “I’m going to head back-”

His mother reached up and placed her hand over his mouth with a frown.  “You’ll do no such thing,” she said, giving him as threatening a glare as she could at the moment, “You’ll have breakfast with us.”

Seungho brushed her hand off gently and sighed.  “Omma-” he started but was interrupted when his mother squeezed his hand between hers.

“Please, Seungho-yah,” she whispered, looking down at their hands, “Just… have breakfast with us.”  With that, she turned and quickly walked down the stairs.

Sighing, Seungho followed her and paused as he passed the front foyer.  Deciding against his better judgement, he followed her into the dining room where his father and brother were already seated.  The tension was thick; he felt suffocated as soon as he approached the table.  Suppressing his urges to just pick up his bag again and run, Seungho sat down from across his brother and waited.

“Breakfast,” his mother said as she brought bowls of soup and rice over, “Is served!”  She gave them a wide smile as she sat down herself and picked up her spoon and chopsticks.  “Eat,” she said, gesturing to her sons, “Don’t let it cool!”

Seungho looked up and locked gazes with his brother briefly before Seunghoon averted his eyes and began to eat.  Picking up his own utensils, Seungho scooped up a spoon of rice and let it hover over the soup.  

“We’ve decided,” his father suddenly said with a low voice.

“Honey, breakfast first,” his mother suddenly interrupted, looking across the table with pleading eyes, “Please… just let him eat.”

Alarmed, Seungho looked at his mother and then his father.  Clearly, they had reached some sort of understanding during the night.  From the looks of their exchange, it wasn’t anything pleasant.  The thought made his stomach swirl with anxiety.

“No,” Seungho said, setting down his utensils and gazing at his father, “Please say what you have to say.”  There was no way he would be able to swallow the food with his stomach swirling the way it did.

“Seungho-yah,” his mother started but was promptly cut off.

“Go study abroad,” his father said with a tone of finality in his voice.

Seungho’s eyes widened as he stared at his father.  What… did he just say?

Author's notes:

I'm going to try and pick up the pace a little bit with this story.  At this point, I'm seriously consider breaking this story in half since there is still a significant amount of plot to cover and I'm quickly approaching the triple digits 0.o  The only issue with cutting this off as Love Me Part I is that I'll likely lose a lot of my subscribers for Love Me Part II.  However, I may (or may not) get new readers since a lot of people are already scared off by the 70-something chapter count!  I'm a bit torn for how I should handle this.  I'm hesitant to start a Part II as a new story because I know I'll lose a lot of the subscribers that I worked hard to accumulate over the past year.  

What do you guys think?