He woke up to an empty bed.

Calm at first, Seungho shuffled sleepily into the bathroom, expecting Joon to be taking a leak.  When the bathroom was dark and empty, he felt a sliver of worry and redirected himself to the kitchen only to find it dark and empty as well.  Fully awake now, Seungho circled the small bachelor apartment but Joon was nowhere to be found.

Alarmed, he grabbed his cellphone from the nightstand but sighed in exasperation when he spotted Joon’s phone sitting quietly next to his.  The guy had forgotten his phone… again.  But… where could he be at nearly three thirty in the morning?

Pulling on some clothes, Seungho opened the door to the dorm and peeked out into the hall; it too was empty.  Closing the door, Seungho sat down at the table and tried to think.  Where would Joon go in the dead of the night?  He’d taken his jacket so it couldn’t have been a mid-night kidnapping.  Biting his lips, Seungho stared at his phone.  Should he call Hyunsik?  Was he overreacting?  Given Joon’s track record though, it likely wasn’t an overreaction. 

Before he could act though, he heard a key push into the lock followed by the soft creak of the door opening.  Soon, Joon’s shadow appeared and Seungho couldn’t help the relief that flooded through him.  It was quickly replaced with anger, however, as he stood and flicked on the lights.

Before him, Joon jumped and turned to look at him with frightened eyes.  Seungho felt his anger deflate a little as guilt emerged on Joon’s face but he just couldn’t let this one go. 

“Where were you?” he asked calmly, trying to steady his hands that had begun shaking.  To his surprise however, they were not shaking out of rage; they were shaking out of relief.  The feeling was so strong that Seungho had to hold on to the table as his legs wobbled beneath him.

“I…” Joon said, fidgeting as he looked at Seungho with big doe eyes, “I was at a café…”

“Café?” Seungho repeated, dumbfounded by his answer.  He pointed to the clock on the wall and said, “At three in the morning?  Are you kidding me?”  Joon may have as well just told him he’d gone to pick wild flowers.

Again, Joon shifted his weight and gave him a soulful puppy look.  “I… I met with Jin,” he whispered apprehensively, clasping his hands in front of him like a child who’d done wrong.

Seungho could’ve choked a goat at the sudden flash of rage that shocked through his system.  “Jin?” he repeated, completely blown away by the thought of Joon meeting a potentially dangerous person in the middle of the night without telling anyone, “The creepy old stalker guy.”  He shook his head in disbelief as he stared at Joon with his mouth open.  Did this kid not learn anything from his past experiences?  Did he not know that what he’d done was outrageously dangerous? 

“I’m sorry,” Joon said, taking a step forward, “I didn’t think-”

“What?” Seungho asked, his voice cracking as he fought to calm his rage fueled by disbelief, “That I’d wake up and find you gone?”  He laughed and threw his hands in the air.  “You think I wouldn’t notice if you’d-” Seungho suddenly cut off as Joon looked to the side guiltily.  There was no way… right?  “Don’t… tell me,” Seungho growled, his vein popping with anger, “That this isn’t the first time.”

When Joon bit his lips and dropped his gaze, Seungho’s jaw dropped even further.  A solid minute passed as he stared with his mouth open and eyes wide at Joon, whose gaze was glued to the floor.  After snapping out of his shock, he just couldn’t contain himself.  “You-” Seungho snarled, pointing angrily at him, “You!  I can’t… I don’t-what… what were… I don’t-” 

“I’m sorry,” Joon whispered, reaching out to tug on his sleeve, “I know it wasn’t a smart thing to do but-”

“Then why did you do it?” Seungho asked angrily, pulling his arm away from Joon’s grip, “If you know it’s dangerous and a stupid thing to do, why would you do it?”

Joon fell silent as he lowered his hand.  The expression on his face nearly deflated all of Seungho’s anger; Joon looked as if he was about to burst into tears.  He bit his lips tightly and stared at the floor in silence.

Feeling his anger dissipate, Seungho let out a heavy breath and tried to calm himself.  “Why would you do that?  What are you hiding from me?” he asked, his voice much quieter.  As the fury disappeared, exhaustion and disappointment settled in.  “What is it that you have to sneak out in the middle of the night to do it?” he asked.  When Joon didn’t respond, he sighed and shook his head.  “I’m disappointed in you,” he said softly, “I thought you knew how much your safety meant to me.  You clearly don’t care how your actions affect me…”  Shaking his head, he walked passed Joon towards the bed.

“No,” Joon said, looking up with big teary eyes, “That’s not-”  He reached out to pull on Seungho’s sweater but again, Seungho shook him off.  He cut off as his eyes widened with hurt.

“After everything that’s happened,” Seungho said, “I thought you’d more careful knowing that there are people out there who want to hurt you.” 

“I’m sorry,” Joon whispered again as his tears spilled over. 

But even that couldn’t erase the disappointment Seungho felt in Joon.  “Yeah,” he said, crawling into his own bed, “I know.”  Turning his back to Joon, he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the ache in his chest.  He knew Joon was hiding something; there had to be a reason for his nightly escapades.  But Joon hadn’t given a single reason as to why he was out so late and that was what hurt Seungho the most. 

He heard Joon shuffle towards the bed and felt his bed sink with Joon’s weight as the latter sat on it.  Feeling childish, Seungho snuggled into deeper into his covers, determined to ignore the tugs Joon was giving on his comforters.

“Hyung,” Seungho heard Joon murmur through a stuffy nose; his nose must’ve turned red from the crying.  Feeling a pang of guilt in his chest, Seungho had to remind himself that Joon was in the wrong, not him.

He kept his eyes shut as he felt Joon tug on his covers again.  He heard the sound of sniffling and quiet heaving as Joon continued to cry.  He took a deep breath and burrowed his face deeper into the pillows as if that would silence the pitiful sounds of Joon’s sadness.

“Hyung, please,” Seungho heard him whimper, his voice cracking.  That was the last straw. 

Sighing in defeat, Seungho pushed back the covers and sat up.  Before him sat Joon, whose nose had become runny, with fat tears rolling down his flushed cheeks.  His chest heaved as his lungs tried to recuperate from all the crying.

Mentally kicking himself for giving in, Seungho reached forward and pulled Joon into his arms.  Like a child, Joon latched his arms around Seungho’s midriff and held on tight as he burrowed his face into Seungho’s neck.

“Don’t think this means I forgive you,” Seungho said softly, Joon’s back out of habit, “I’m still very mad at you.”

“I know,” Joon mumbled into the crook of his neck, “But please…”  He hiccupped as he tightened his arms around Seungho.  “Even if you’re mad at me,” he said, “Please don’t shake me off like that.  Please… don’t do that again.”  His voice cracked again as he said the last few words.

Seungho felt a tug on his heartstrings as he listened to Joon’s plea.  Shake him off?  He had no idea it would be so hurtful to Joon; something Seungho hadn’t even realized he’d done in the heat of the moment.  But the small gesture had hurt Joon deeply…

“I won’t,” he said, suddenly feeling sorry, “I won’t do that again.”  He kissed the top of Joon’s head as guilt washed through him.  Of course the gesture would hurt him; Joon had faced rejection from him before, of course he would be afraid of being rejected again.  “I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to do that.”

Joon was silent briefly before he mumbled, “And don’t sleep in your own bed.”  He sniffled as his breathing calmed.

Again, Seungho felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he nodded.  “I won’t,” he said, feeling sorry, “I won’t.”  To his surprise, however, Joon piped up again.

“And…” Joon mumbled, squeezing him tightly, “Don’t yell at me.  Don’t… Don’t get mad at me.”

“Yah,” Seungho said, suddenly snapping out of his guilty trance, “Don’t push it.”  He put Joon at an arms distance and frowned.

Joon gave him a soulful look, making him twitch with irritation at his own weakness against the look.  “I know what I did was wrong,” Joon said, wiping away his tears, “But… hyung.  I… I need to tell you something.”

Caught off guard, Seungho blinked in surprise.  He didn’t think Joon was going to tell him but… “What is it?” he asked, sensing the severity of the situation.  He felt his stomach flutter in anxiety as he waited.

Joon swallowed nervously before he said, “Remember… remember how you were asking me if I remembered my past?”

Seungho felt his heart speed up as he nodded.  Was he going to tell him something about his past?

“I… it’s true that I don’t remember,” Joon said, gripping his fingers together tightly, “But… Jin… he knows who I am.  Or at least, he thinks he does.”

“Who you are?” Seungho asked, unable to stay silent, “Do you know who you are?”

Joon looked at him before he said softly, “I… I think I am…”

Joon sat in apprehensive silence as he waited for Seungho to respond.  After finally telling his secret, he couldn’t help but feel anxious as he waited for Seungho to react the news.  Would he be angry that Joon hadn’t told him earlier?  Would he feel disturbed with the story itself?  Would he feel differently about their relationship now that he knew Joon’s real identity?  Joon couldn’t bring himself to look at Seungho as he waited; his hands shook slightly in his lap as he tried to quell the fluttering nerves in his stomach.

To his surprise, Seungho reached out and placed a warm hand on his shaking ones.  Giving them a gentle squeeze, Seungho tipped Joon’s face up towards him and locked their gazes.

“It must’ve been hard,” Seungho said softly, his face a mixture of sadness and empathy, “To have kept that secret to yourself.”  He pulled Joon’s hands to his lips and placed a small, tender kiss on them.  “I’m glad you told me,” he murmured, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Joon’s hands, “I’m sorry I got so angry…”

Joon let out a shaky breath of relief.  He had expected anger, and accusations; instead, he got empathy and love.  He felt the emotions welling up again in his chest, threatening to overflow at any moment.

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner,” Joon murmured softly, his voice breaking as he dropped his gaze to their hands, “I just…”

“But you told me now,” Seungho said softly, scooting forward in his seat and cupping Joon’s face with his hand, “Thank you for telling me.”

Joon nodded as tears spilled over once more, flowing down his cheek only to be swept away by Seungho’s gentle thumb.  He closed his eyes as Seungho leaned forward and place a tender kiss on his eyes.  He felt calm spread through him as the kisses trailed down his cheek to his lips.  When Seungho broke away, Joon sighed and looked up through wet lashes.  

“Come here,” Seungho said softly, tugging him beneath the covers.  Wrapping his arms around Seungho’s midriff, Joon snuggled his face into Seungho’s collar and sighed.

“You know,” Seungho murmured softly as he ran a hand up and down Joon’s back, “I got a little suspicious today… well, yesterday I guess… when I saw your childhood photos at the estate.”  He sighed and rubbed his cheek against Joon’s hair.  “I was, and still am, very angry that you met with Jin in the middle of the night twice without telling anyone,” he said, his voice a bit strained, “If you ever do that again, I will knock you out and lock you up.  You hear me?”  As he gave his feeble threat, Joon felt his arm tighten around him.

Joon nodded, his lips spreading into a small smile.  He knew Seungho’s words were out of concern and he felt the love seeping out of Seungho’s every pore as he spoke the words.  Still, it didn’t change the fact that he was now between a rock and hard place.  It was one of two choices; ignore Jin’s warnings and live his life in fear of Song Bangna’s henchmen; or go back to Lee-Song and live his life in fear of Song Bangna’s henchmen while looking for a way to send her to jail.  Either way, his future was grim.  But… now that he’d told Seungho, the burden suddenly seemed a lot lighter and less suffocating.

“What do I do?” Joon asked, mumbling into Seungho’s chest, “I don’t see a way out.”

Seungho stayed silent for a brief moment before sighing and saying, “I... I think I agree with Jin.”  He tightened his arms around Joon and said softly, “Even though I would much rather we both run away to an island somewhere, I think that living your life in fear is a much more difficult thing to do than to face the monster head on.”  He nuzzled his forehead against Joon’s and murmured, “I know from experience that running away from something won’t make it go away.  And, on the contrary, it can have devastating consequences.”

Joon gazed into Seungho’s eyes as he listened.  He knew Seungho was talking about his own confrontation with homouality; he had run away from his feelings for Joon only to have it come chasing after him with full force.  And, even now, Seungho blamed himself a little for Joon’s kidnap and . 

Reaching forward, Joon brushed his fingers across Seungho’s face gently.  “That… it wasn’t your fault,” Joon murmured, “It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the criminals.  Isn’t that what you told me?”

“Yeah,” Seungho replied softly, “I just… I can’t help but think of what would’ve happened if I had stopped you that night…”

“Then he would’ve gotten me another time,” Joon said softly, feeling a tug on his heartstrings as he said those words, “If he was determined to do it, he would’ve gotten me.”

“That’s what scares me,” Seungho whispered, his voice suddenly shaky, “What does that mean for Song Bangna then?  If she’s determined…” 

Joon bit his lip as Seungho’s hold on him tightened.  “Don’t say that,” he murmured, surprised at how calm his own voice was.  He felt terrified at the idea and had been for the past three months but now, in the face of Seungho’s fear, he felt a strength and determination in him he hadn’t felt before.  Seungho had always been his rock; something he could hold on to in times of fear and desperation.  But now, he felt the need to be Seungho’s rock and that gave birth to courage he didn’t think he had in him.  “I will be fine,” he said firmly, “Everything will be fine.”

“I should be reassuring you,” Seungho laughed, “Not the other way around…”

“Sometimes,” Joon said softly, “Even rocks need to be reassured…”

“Rocks?” Seungho asked, slightly confused.  He raised his head from the pillow and gave Joon a confused look.

“Never mind,” Joon said, pinching his cheek.  Sighing, he felt Seungho settle against the pillow again.  “Even though I say that everything will be fine,” he said softly, “I don’t know how I feel about going back…” 

“Jin’s argument makes sense,” Seungho said, all traces of anxiety gone from his voice, “She can’t send someone to hurt you and any attempts at your life can be spun into murder attempts.  You’ll be safe… at least for a while.”

“And what if Jin is wrong?” Joon asked, “What if she had nothing to do with my father’s death?  How do I put her away then?”

“I was thinking about that too,” Seungho sighed, “It seems farfetched but then again… this entire thing seems like a dream.”

“Jin’s really pushing for me to go back,” Joon murmured, “He really thinks it is my last option.”

“Don’t let him pressure you,” Seungho said, “It’s what you’ll do only if we think it is the best option.”  He frowned in the dark as he said, “I’m still concerned with whether or not he’s telling you the truth.  For all we know, he could be leaving out some important details.”

Joon looked up, his eyes wide.  “Like what?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Seungho said, sighing softly, “I just get the feeling he’s not telling the whole truth.”  

Joon bit his lip and contemplated the thought.  The whole truth?  Was there something that Jin was still hiding from him?  It as possible; after all nothing had been confirmed yet.  As Joon snuggled into Seungho’s embrace, he felt calm and determined.  Whatever ends up happening, at least now he won’t be alone.

Author's notes: 

The stage is almost set!  Stay tuned as things get even more fired up!