Letters From Heaven

Author: luvUEXO

Chapters: 7 (completed)

Reviewer: BeautifulMess

Title: 9/10

It certainly did fit the concept of the whole story and I see no problems with it. Although most people don’t really like it when story titles are replaced with symbols or other special characters, I don’t mind with this one since it’s perfectly readable! I deducted a point because capitalizing 'from' is grammatically incorrect. 

Description/Foreword: 5/10 

The quote fits the story, though I had a problem with the paragraph going after it. As you can see, the paragraph is about Sehun and Jongin, but the content of the story does not solely focus on Sehun and Jongin since there are other pairings present. And since they’re not just side characters seeing that each pairings have their own chapters, I highly suggest you change the description into something more general that can sum up the whole story.

Appearance: 10/10 

Appearance was neat and organized, and I also like how you put different images in each chapter.

Characterization: 13/20 

I can see that the one’s already in heaven are waiting for their loved ones who are still down on Earth, but I can’t really point out the differences in their personalities except for Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Tao. My advice is for you to think about a particular character and their personality, and think about what they would say and think in that given situation. Will they be impatient? Happy? Content? I believe you can show all their traits by the use of proper dialogue.

Grammar and Punctuation: 14/20

There were a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, but it’s not anything you can’t fix! Always remember to put a period after every sentence you make, especially the very short dialogues between the couples at the end of each chapter. In terms of grammar, you have mistakes when it comes to tenses, but like I said earlier, it’s nothing you cannot improve on!

Here are a few of them:

Wrong:

Sorry my letters are too short

I want to tell it to you personally.

Because The maknaes take some of it sometimes

Correct:

Sorry my letters are too short.

I want to tell it to you personally because the maknaes take some of it sometimes.

Wrong:

“Welcome back Kyungie”

I missed you Hyung”

Correct:

“Welcome back, Kyungie.”

“I missed you, hyung.”

The rest of your mistakes are similar to that so I won’t point them out anymore. Anyway, just edited those errors and you’re good to go!

Plot: 13/15 

I’ve seen stories likes this countless of times before, but I did like how you constructed this in a unique format which is by the form of letters. You can slightly tell how the couples’ lives went on when they were still together through the letters, and I believe that’s what makes this interesting. Also, I love how you used pairings that aren't common like ChenSoo or XiuTao. It's refreshing to read. Good job!

Flow: 7/10 

The flow was okay, although I personally think you could have done a better job with constructing your sentences to which it will have a smooth flow.

Total Enjoyment: 3/5

I enjoyed it! Some of the letters are funny, while some are truly touching. Just work on your punctuation and tenses, and this will be even more of a pleasurable read. Good job!