May 26th

Author: Love4Minute2NE1

Chapters: 1 (one-shot)

Reviewer: BeautifulMess

Title: 7/10 
I think it works. The title is related to a specific concept within the story, which is the date Chaerin left for the army, but I honestly think you could have named this one-shot better. May 26th was when she left, and you put a lot of emphasis on that throughout the progress of your work, but then in the very last paragraph you stated that May 27th was when Chaerin died, and I honestly think the latter gave a bigger impact than the former. What I’m saying is that the day Chaerin died overshadowed the day Chaerin went to the army, and from what I have read, her death was the most important part of your story. In conclusion, I thought your title did not justify the whole of your story very well.

Description/Foreword: 9/10 
The description and foreword were appropriately used and everything was where it should be. That’s good. Angst lovers would definitely be drawn into the story, in my opinion. The portrayal of sorrow and angst is there, while in the meantime, you did not give away too much as to let the readers know what it is completely about. As someone who has little to no interest in angst or Yuri, I can honestly say it slightly quipped my attention, and I commend you for that. Unfortunately, I have to deduct a point because of your grammar mistakes.

Appearance: 10/10
It is neat and organized. No strange fonts or neon colors. The poster is pretty, too. I had no problems with the appearance whatsoever.

Characterization: 16/20
You portrayed Dara’s sorrow as how it is supposed to be portrayed. You used nice words and pretty metaphors to help emphasize her feelings and pain, and I liked that. Dara’s way of thinking was perfectly relatable and realistic, so that's good.
The only thing I would have wanted you to do was dwell more on the background of their relationship and family life. I was left clueless and lost as to how things bloomed into how it was now, like for example, when and how did they get their child, and why Chaerin decided to follow her father’s steps into the army. I would have appreciated it more if your dug deep into that, as the story was more character-focused than anything.

Grammar and Punctuation: 14/20
You write creatively; you use metaphors and all that good stuff which I definitely welcome with open arms. Also, you didn’t use big words, which is also good since a lot of people use them without even knowing how to use them in the first place.
Now, although I applaud you with your creative writing, I have to say you had numerous grammar mistakes. I noticed your confusion with tenses, so I do hope you work on that diligently. It plays a big role in writing.
Also, do not capitalize ‘mother’ as it is not a proper noun. It is only to be capitalized if it is in the start of your sentence or dialogue.
Lastly, you also need to work on your punctuation, as I noticed in some parts you use commas when it is unnecessary. It’s nothing you can’t work on, so I hope you brush up on that.

Plot: 13/15
I’ve seen army/war-centric stories around, but I have never encountered one that features a woman joining the US Military. It slightly set me off though, when in the middle part of the story a tinge of fantasy was squeezed in. I kind of wished that it wasn’t included as it would have been great if it just focused on the angst alone.

Flow: 6/10
The transitions were fine, but the way you constructed some of your sentences set me off. There were times where one paragraph will be too fast since there were too much short sentences and periods, and then suddenly the next paragraph becomes too slow because there were a lot of run-on sentences. Learn more about punctuation usage; play with it and see how your paragraph structures turn out.

Total Enjoyment: 2/5
As someone who is not exactly fond of Yuri, I kind of enjoyed it. It’s refreshing to read. You write good; you just have to work on your tenses and punctuation, and you’re all set! Good luck with your future works!

Total: 77/100