Woodsworth Academy

Author: Anailys (co-author KatingaTrouble)

Chapters: 4 (on-going)

Reviewer: YellowGoyangi

Title: 9/10

This title suits your story very well, considering it’s the name of the school in which the main character is attending. I can’t call this title is eye catching, but really, it depends on what a specific reader is interested in.

Description/Foreword: 10/10

Wow, this…this is great! I honestly remember getting really excited to read this story after I first read the description. It reveals a good amount of the story and its capability to really hook the reader.

Appearance: 4/10 

I like the background, simple is nice at times, but I’m not too sure about your main poster. As I read your story, I received a very intense mood; it would be nice to receive the same kind of intense feeling from your poster so it’ll appear nicely next your writing. 
Suggestion: Request to a poster shop? 
Now, about the chapters…specifically chapter 2. The way the entire chapter is in bold…that’s a big no-no. 
Suggestion: Keep the text in its normal stance. Do not bold or italicize the text unless needed. 
And lastly, the paragraphs; I’m not too sure about all of these indents. To me, it looks kind of tacky but that’s maybe because many stories on this site don’t include indents after a paragraph. It feels quite…foreign to me.

Characterization: 20/20 

You didn’t explain nor talk about the main characters’ characteristic traits in your description/foreword, which is totally fine if you showed their traits throughout the story, and so far, you’re doing an okay job at that. Although I don’t know the characters that well, mostly because this story only contains a few chapters at the moment, I was able to catch and understand a few of the characters’ main traits.

Grammar and Punctuation: 19.5/20 

The grammar and punctuation was very good! I could BARELY find any mistakes in your writing so good job. ^^

Plot: 14/15

It’s interesting…that’s for sure. Although there are many fanfics on this site where I could find the main character transferring to a new school, you were able to make this story more unique, making the plot non-cliché. 

Flow: 5/10

The pace was fine, not too fast not to slow. The problem here is the point of views; it was very confusing. In chapter 1 it was Sungjong’s point of view, correct? But sometimes I would catch your writing in 3rd person.

You Wrote: Sungjong shrugged and leaned back against the seat; tilting his head up to look at his father’s defeated form. His father taught him that a man never shows the face of defeat, Yet the same man whom had taught him about pride sat not too far away looking vulnerable and defeated in the presence of his now youngest child.

And then after that paragraph and beyond, you would write in Sungjong’s point of view. 
Another problem was in chapter 3 where it was written in Woohyun’s point of view. At first, I actually thought this chapter was in Sungjong’s point of view until I read otherwise. It confuses the reader if you don’t say beforehand whose point of view you’re writing in; you might make the reader think you’re writing in someone else’s point of view like how I did.
 

Total Enjoyment: 5/5

I would give you a round of applause my friend because you have some intense writing going on! The way you write is just so very detailed and has a nice flow going on that I had a good time reading it. Although the story itself in incomplete, I can say that it’s quite interesting.

Total: 86.5/100

R/N; You have some strong potential in you writing, I can tell. I hope you continue to work hard and create more amazing stories like these. Thank you for being another requester of mine; I had a good time reading and reviewing your story! Feel free to use my suggestions but remember…it’s your fanfic, so you do what you want with it.