Why Can't You Love Me Back?

Author: Hyper27

Chapters: 9 (on-going)

Reviewer: SimplyCuddly

Title: 7/10 
It's a question, and personally, I don't prefer questions for titles. But I found this one appropriate for the story as a whole. Good work!

Description/Foreword: 8/10 
The description and foreword was set up appropriately and I found that everything was right where it should be. Besides the grammar mistakes, it's all good! 

Appearance: 8/10
The way you credited the chapter posters were a bit untidy (I recommend using links rather than the copy and paste method), but in conclusion, I have no serious comments to say about the apperance. The posters were cute!

Characterization: 12/20
There were a lot of characters in this story with both SHINee and all 12 of EXO included. I understand the difficulty it truly is to give each character individuality, but you did fairly nice job at it. My suggestion is adding more characterization describing. Descriptive sentence structure can go a long way in writing, and it can effect your characters' overall personality and characterization with their actions and reaction to given situations. Overall, it will offer more interest to the readers. 

Now, I need to talk about your female lead, Park Kyungmi. I think you could have put more information on Kyungmi, since she's a main character. Describing her background (especially with Key, since he's the male lead), appearance, and talents should be considered crucial considering she's a singer, actress, and model. And in my honest opinion, I don't think you can be all three at once when you're so early in your career. She's already a world-known star, and she didn't even debut in SME yet! It takes time to accomplish something big like that. As an idol and person overall, I just thought you made Kyungmi a little too perfect and flawless, and I found it rather unrealistic.

Grammar and Punctuation: 12/20
Considering that English is not your first language, you definitely impressed me! There were several noticeable typos, grammar mistakes, and missing pucntuation marks around the beginning, but as your story progressed, I noticed you improved greatly. I hope you take the time to go over your chapters and fix your errors.

Overall, you did a fairly good job in this section. 

Plot: 8/15
I've seen stories like this before. It's a very common plot, and bit too over-used. You added some humorous twists, which brings a nice touch. 

Flow: 6.5/10
It was just a tad bit too fast for my liking. I found that you added too many P.O.V. changes, and that can grow tiresome to the readers. Also, when you changed different scenes, some of them seemed rather vague. For example, in Chapter 1. Instead of hopping right to the part where Kyungmi confesses to Key, perhaps you could have added a little bit where she's approaching him. Is she walking down the halls? Maybe outside? Is Key in her sights? Make sure your readers can vividly picture the given situation by adding an efficient amount of sensory detail, and have them feel and see what is happening. 

Total Enjoyment: 2/5
Despite the various mistakes, your story's cute and I found it to be pretty good. There's always room for improvement, and that goes for every single writer out there! Thank you for requesting. ^^

Total: 63.5/100