The Difference Between You and Me

Author: Hyper27

Chapters: 3 (on-going)

Reviewer: BeautifulMess

Title: 8/10 
Your story has not evolved that much yet, so the only way I can connect your title to the plot of the story is how Luhan is a demon and the girl a human. If that is what you are trying to prove in your title, then I can say that it does fit the story. It is something I would not expect as a title for a fanfiction like this, yet it suited the concept of the story. 

Description/Foreword: 5/10

The description would have been nice if it weren’t for the change in fonts and sizes. Be consistent with the layout style, because that honestly puts people off. Stick to one font(use three at most) and don’t abuse text colors.

As for the foreword, I thought it would’ve been better without the character charts. It would’ve been way more appealing if you posted a snippet or a sneak peek of the story, like a fraction of a chapter or the likes of it, to lure more readers in. Using character profiles/charts gives the impression that you cannot back your own characters up throughout the story, and that will make you seem unprofessional and unskilled.

Appearance: 9/10
The chapters were fine, but please do fix your description/foreword.

Characterization: 17/20
It is too early to judge since you only have two chapters and a prologue, but so far there aren’t any extreme errors in this criteria. Some of the characters have moments where they stray out of their personalities though, so I do hope you work on that.

Grammar and Punctuation: 10/20
Although you formatted your paragraphs properly, you have multiple mistakes in mechanics. Firstly, you had a couple of spelling mistakes and also typos that distracted me from your story. That ruins the flow, so I do hope you go through them again and correct them. Secondly, I noticed that your tenses aren’t consistent, and that lead your sentences to become incorrect and confusing. You also used unnecessary punctuation on some parts, so do try to brush up on those two since it definitely ruins the flow of the story.
Also, I noticed how you unnecessarily italicized some paragraphs in some parts of your story, like the parts where the main character was introducing and describing EXO-K and Sulli one by one. That was not needed at all, as the paragraphs can stand alone by itself without italicizing it.
Lastly, I highly suggest you re-read through your work and try to correct your mistakes. There were a lot.

Plot: 9/15
Not very original, I have encountered many stories like this. I do give you props for using Luhan, though, since everyone knows him to be an angelic gentle boy. Using him as demonic figure here was certainly a change.

Flow: 8/10
The flow was okay for the most part, but like I said, fix your mechanical errors as they can be painfully distracting.

Total Enjoyment: 1/5

Total: 67/100