So today was the day.

 

The day where Jessica was going to be married with Hara. I had cried all night long and my freaking swollen eyes are quite visible to be seen. Yoona was worried seeing my eyes, but I said she didn’t need to worry. Jessica won’t see it though. I was planning to take a seat at the back, so I can come out whenever I want to since the door was near by—if it was needed.

 

Yoona and I were ready to go to the church, until Yuri and Taeyeon appeared in our hotel with a white Audi. It was only a week since the last time I seen them; they looked different. They were skinnier and dark circles around their eyes were so obvious—sure thing they were dead tired from work, perhaps.

 

“You guys looks so awful.” Yoona commented.

 

“Jessica’s wedding was so troublesome. We need to prepare everything because Hara wanted this, that, and everything. Damn, she was so annoying.” Yuri groaned as she the engine.

 

“I didn’t know you guys were involved in Jessica’s wedding.” I added.

 

“Oh please, Hara knew we are Jessica’s bestfriends and of course she wanted to involve us into their wedding business.”

 

“So that's why you guys left earlier than we did?” Yoona said as she lovingly caressed Yuri’s cheek. I swore I couldn’t unsee Yuri’s blushing face and I think she had lost her concentration as well. Taeyeon nodded, I hummed.

 

Silence in the car as we kept our mouth shut. There was nothing to be talked anyway and I realized, Yuri had stopped the car in the parking lot. I didn’t even know when we passed those high buildings and some securities who secure the church. My mind must be in somewhere else, again.

 

There were so many bodyguards around the building but it wasn't amazed me. I was quite used to see them in the office. So yeah, not anymore.

 

All those people were so gorgeous with their dress and tuxedo. I felt so embarrassed being in the circle of these high class people. Expensive cars everywhere and I think it was because they wanted to show it off. Ah why do I even care about it, though. 

 

Taeyeon slipped her hand around my arm, dragging me into an empty room. The room was small and probably only fits four people in it. Yoona sat on Yuri’s lap, while the older girl hugging her from behind. Nice, these lovebirds were being lovey-dovey here. I knew Yoona was missed Yuri so much and—holy crap, did they just kissed?

 

Taeyeon could feel my depression and she laughed while patting my shoulder.

 

“Have you ready?” A voice could be heard from the doorway. When I twisted my head, it was Miss Sulli. It had been a while since the last time I saw her. She was so gorgeous with that white dress. Her hair fell down until her chest.

 

I nodded as I got up from the seat. Again, Taeyeon slipped her hand around my arm. She looked at me with those sincere eyes of hers. It showed me a worried look as we keep walking to our seat. The hall was already filled with people. I only smiled to Taeyeon, which was a fake one.

 

“It’s okay, Taeyeon.”

 

“I sit next to you, don’t worry.” She patted my back softly.

 

I knew they will be there for me. I am a strong woman, though. Or 'I was a strong woman' are the perfect words for this?

 

Taeyeon gulped seeing me. Her grip on my arm was getting tighter. Perhaps she felt what I feel right now since Taeyeon could read my mind. I was nervous and scared of losing Jessica because she was going to be someone’s wife. The only girl who could make me felt something special whenever she was around me.

 

I closed my eyes, hoping that this wedding could move faster and when I open my eyes, I would stood up at my home. Standing there like nothing happened, enjoy my life like I used to. Not thinking about Jessica anymore because she was in States with her wife.

 

Jessica was standing near the preacher, waiting for Hara with her pokerface. She didn’t show any excitement  at all. Oh of course. She kept moving her eyes to everywhere in this room and I hope she was searching for me although she won’t see me since I sat at the back, covered by these tall people.

 

The door creaked. It was Hara with her father, walking towards Jessica who faked her smile in front of her  future father-in-law. It was getting nearer and nearer to the vow scene. Just by remembering it, my heartbeat quickens automatically. Oh I’m not ready for it.

 

I felt the grip on my hand was getting tighter, signing that Taeyeon went thump-thump too, probably.

 

When the preacher started to say something, I closed my eyes again. It was hurt seeing the person whom you love with all your heart was getting married with another girl who wasn't you. I felt it. My heart had broken into a million pieces. This was so bad. God was punishing me probably, even though I had been a good girl for the rest of my life.

 

“Jessica, do you take this girl to be your partner, to share your life openly with her, to love, honor and comfort her, in sickness and in health for all time?” The preacher finally said.

 

I wanted to cry so badly but I held it for my good sake. Taeyeon was trembling hard, so did I. We were waiting for Jessica’s words but it didn’t come out immediately. I knew she was confused and objected, but she couldn’t do anything since it was her parents’ decision and she need to obey them.

 

Poor my Jessica.

 

“I…” The first word from Jessica’s mouth and I swore my hands were trembling more hard than before. Sweat could be felt fall down my neck.

 

“I don’t want”

 

I shot my eyes open, staring at a figure of Jessica that standing in the Altar with her head facing the priest. The whole room was become noisy all of sudden, some people were whispering and I heard a man shouted Jessica’s name in anger. It must be her dad.

 

Jessica being dragged by her dad, but she brushed off her dad’s hand on hers. I could see Mr. Jung looked at her in disbelief, gritted his teeth, and clenched his hands hardly. He looked so mad and embarrassed because of her own daughter.

 

Taeyeon turned her head around, grinned widely because she was feeling happy. No, Taeyeon. It wasn't the perfect time to be happy.

 

“I…I don’t want to be married with Hara. Please cancel all of this.”

 

Everyone started whispering again. Hara looked so mad and her face was so red like a crab. I know she was going to blame me because of this, but I didn’t know if she would expose the problem to these people or she would talk privately with me. All of sudden, guilty feelings wrapped around me and I had no reason for having it.

 

Jessica being dragged by her parents to a room, while the guest sitting still in their seat. I was worried about this, until Yuri asked me and Taeyeon to get out of this room. And we did what she told us.

 

*

 

Taeyeon brought me to a restaurant near the church as Yuri told her to get me an early lunch. I knew it was just an excuse to get me out of the church area, while Yuri and Yoona were investigating the event.

 

I buried my face on my palms, feeling so weird after the wedding.

 

“Cheers for the cancellation of Jessica’s wedding.” Taeyeon suddenly said.

 

“What?” I raised my head, seeing the midget raising the glass in her hand. “No no, it’s so mean, Taeyeon.”

 

“Why? I thought you feel happy because of this.”

 

“Happy? Not at all.”

 

“So what is it? Confused? Scared?”

 

“Both.”

 

Taeyeon hummed, swallowing her drink and placing the glass in front of her. She should just read my mind and it explain everything. I didn’t want to say it with my own mouth. I was confused because, what if Hara come to me, yelling or swearing at me because of the cancellation of the wedding. And scared if everyone would blame me or eventually my name was mentioned when they have a family meeting. It was going to be the end of my life if it really happened. Jaejoong and Hara were the witnesses.

 

“Don’t think it too much, Tiffany. Just let it flow.”

 

“But I can’t. I feel guilty all of sudden.”

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“You know I WAS Jessica’s girlfriend, right?” Taeyeon nodded. “And what if the whole Jung know if I was her girlfriend? Moreover what if someone trying to provoke that I was taking Jessica from Hara?”

 

“Seriously stop thinking too much. You have to believe that Jessica will protect you no matter what happen. How could you forget about that? You still have Jessica. You are the only reason why Jessica didn’t want to be married with Hara, and you are the reason why Jessica dared herself to say don’t in front of the preacher and the whole guests this morning.”

 

“And what if she didn’t?”

 

“Oh, Tiffany…” This time, Taeyeon was the who placed her face on her palms. Clearly enough that she was frustrated talking to me about this.

 

“You aren’t stupid, are you?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“So please think about it again. You didn’t think that Jessica’s effort to cancel the wedding has nothing to do with you, did you?”

 

I clammed up, have nothing to be said to Taeyeon. I knew Taeyeon was right and I have to believe her, but…

 

“Jessica will protect you from those people, Tiffany.”

 

“I don't think so…”

 

And that was the time where Taeyeon swore she would throw the glass in her hand toward me.

 

*

 

Eight o’clock in the evening. Yoona and I were doing nothing, but laying on the bed while watching TV. Yoona hadn’t told me what’s the continuation of the last scene in the church. Perhaps she didn’t want to tell me because Jessica and Hara ended up to be married. But nothing wrong to give it shot.

 

“Yoong,”

 

“Yeah?” She turned her head to me.

 

“What happened to Jessica and Hara in the church this morning? You haven’t told me anything about it.”

 

“Oh,” was the only word that came out of Yoona’s mouth. My heart went thump-thump. “It’s okay. They decided to postpone the wedding, yet they didn’t tell us when it is. Perhaps until Jessica-unnie deciding when it is.”

 

I let out a sigh. It means we need to stay longer in States. Yoona got off of the bed when she heard the room’s bell rang. It must be Yuri. I slid down onto the bed, pulling up the blanket over my shoulder and closing my eyes.

 

“Fany-unnie?” Yoona called.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Someone wants to meet you.”

 

“Who? Yuri?” I pushed the blanket to the empty space beside me and got off of the bed.

 

“Nope,”

 

And there she was, walking in to the room with thick rimmed glass on, leather jacket, her brown locks hair and a cap on her head, and black ripped jeans. It was Jessica. My favorite girl in the entire world. My beloved Jessica.

 

She flashed her sweet smile to me, who was still frozen in my place.

 

“Uhh… I’ll leave you two alone. I’m going to Yuri’s room, okay unnies?” Yoona awkwardly said as she walked out of the room, leaving me and Jessica alone.

 

“Thank you, Yoona.” Jessica said before turning her head to me.

 

“W-what are you doing here?”

 

“What am I doing? Of course I wanted to meet you.”

 

“But y—”  She cut off my words as she captured my lips with hers, kissing it passionately like she always used to. I missed this warm kiss, her hands that slowly wrapped around me and my fingers tangled themselves between her hair. I miss Jessica.

 

Both of us were panting as we need air. I looked at her and caught Jessica was staring at me as well. She hugged me before I able to say anything. Damn, Jessica being so aggressive right now.

 

“I miss you, Fany-ah.”

 

I didn’t answer. I wanted to answer her that I miss her too, but my mouth didn’t move for a bit and made Jessica look at me weirdly. Her grip on my hand that slowly getting loosened in disappointment.

 

“You didn’t miss me?”

 

“Jessica, you do know that what you did in the church earlier was totally dangerous, don’t you?”

 

“I know. But I was thinking of you, Tiffany. You knew the reason why I don’t want to get married with Hara, right?”

 

Taeyeon was right.

 

“It’s me.”

 

“You knew it yet you still—”

 

“You didn’t know how guilty I am!”

 

“You don’t need to feel that way, Tiffany! I love you and that’s the matter!”

 

“I don’t want to ruin someone’s life, Jessica. I felt more guilty when you said I am the reason why you didn’t do what your parents’ asked you!” I almost yelled to her, but I immediately lowered my voice. “It was like I made you to be a rebel!”

 

Jessica grabbed my hands, pushing me onto the bed. I don’t know, this is another side of Jessica. She pinned my hands and the grip was so tight and even tighter. It was hurt.

 

“It’s because I love you and I will do anything to get you back again! Why are you never get it?!”

 

And this time, I felt a droplet of tears fell down onto my cheeks. Made me realize that Jessica was crying, again. This was the second time I seen Jessica crying and I was the reason behind it. Guilty feeling never leave me and I didn’t know when it will go because I hate it.

 

Jessica shut her eyes, tightly. Poor this girl, she was already broken inside. I asked her to release me and she did what I told her. I slowly brought her into my embrace, brushed her hair with my palm, shushing her.

 

“You know that I love you, right Tiffany?”

 

“I do.”

 

“Then why are you keep asking me to marry Hara?”

 

“I don’t want you to be a rebel, Jessica. Please, do what your parents’ asked you. Hara knew the reason why you didn’t want to marry her and eventually, she would tell everyone that you love someone else that none other than me. It would ruin us.” I sighed, hugging Jessica more tight, smelling her hair, kissing her cheeks few times. “I’m protecting our relationship, Jessica. It would be easier if we become no one but friends. We can still keep in touch as friends.”

 

“I don’t want us to be friends. I want more than that!”

 

“You know the world is cruel to us, right? It keep playing its game to us. Even though we are together, but your bride-to-be would ruin us in no time.”

 

Jessica kept shut, her face still buried on the mattress. I lifted my right hand, combing Jessica’s hair with my fingers as I was waiting for her answer.

 

“I don’t want to leave you, Tiffany. I love you so freaking much.” She muttered as she snuggled onto my neck.

 

“We can’t do anything…”

 

“Of course there is. We can runaway to Europe. Where do you want to live in? Venice? Berlin? Paris? London?”

 

“No no, we can’t do that. It would create another problem that may be more complex than this.”

 

“But I want to be with you, not Hara.”

 

“I can promise you one thing.” And this is the first time Jessica lifted her head, looking at me in the eye with those almost-swollen eyes. Well, she probably crying down there.

 

“We still get a lot of time to meet in the future, right?” I smiled, caressing Jessica’s cheeks.

 

“That will be so different than living together! And I don’t know when I will be back to Korea.” Jessica said as she dropped her body on me again. She indirectly trapping me. “I won’t be able to kissy-kissy you, make love with you, and everything.”

 

“Oh c’mon, Jessica. Let say, you are married with Hara, but remember we still got something in our heart that connecting us as lovers.”

 

Jessica lifted her head again and kissed me. Even though it’s not going to be easy, but I have to make Jessica do what her parents’ order.

 

“We can Skype, MSN, or anything. I’ll be there for you if you need someone to talk to. But for now, please do what your parents’ want, Jessica.”

 

“But I want to marry you, not Hara.”

 

A smile on my face grew wider. She was so chessy.

 

“I know that, Jessi. But remember, I did this for our good sake too.”

 

Jessica clammed up, starting to sit in the edge of the bed. I got up and wrapped my hands around Jessica.

 

“So can you do that for me? Please marry Hara and make her happy. And you should be happy too.”

 

She lowered her head.

 

“How could I be happy if you are my happiness and you are so far from me?”

 

 

 

 

TBC

a/n: is this chap weird? i know i should make more intense in the church scene, but i have no idea about it since i kinda lack of idea :| sorry for the late update and grammar error >< i hope you guys like it ^^