It was raining again. I sat on my couch, wrapping myself with a blanket because the coldness was hitting me since thirty minutes ago—exactly when the rain started pouring the town. I enjoyed my hot milk while watching a sitcom that aired on TV. Yoong went to a mall with Krystal and some of her friends; left me alone at home. No, I didn’t mind since I was used with it. I felt tired because of the works that piled up in my room, but I managed to finish it; yeah, I was just lucky.

I closed my eyes, feeling sleepy already because of the tiredness. My phone suddenly buzzed on the sofa; it was not a message. It was a call from someone.

“Yoong~”

I pressed the green button and brought the phone to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Unnie, I got stuck because of rain in the mall. Could you pick me up? Please?” As I thought.

“Why don’t you just wait there until the rain stop?”

“I’ve waited here for almost an hour with Krystal. My legs starting to hurt because of standing.”

“Who told you to stand up? Why didn’t you just go to a café and wait there?”

“I… I can’t!” She ran out of reasons.

“Okay, I’ll be there. Don’t go anywhere.” And I got up from the sofa as I ended the conversation and got changed.

*

Weekdays were so boring, because I didn't enjoy working like I used to. I didn’t know, but that was what I felt for past two weeks; and I just realize that our company party is in 6 days—it’s next Saturday. I sighed, really don’t want to come but I can’t do that. I don’t want to meet anyone. Perhaps I have became an anti-social, because I keep refused to talk to everyone, pressed my lips together and only talk when I need to. Yoona had been asking what’s wrong with you hundred times, but I always answered nothing. Sure, I feel bad to her, but really, I don’t know what happened with me either. I just wanted to be alone.

So stupid.

I curled up my body, hugging my legs tightly and burying my face between my knees. I have done this so many times everytime I sits on my bed. To be honest, I hadn’t met Miss Jung for—I had no idea since when, but I think it had been since the last time she called me; perhaps two weeks ago? Yet she hadn’t come back from States until now. She didn’t give me a call nor a single message. I should have be glad for that because I wanted to avoid and ignore her, but I can’t. And I had no right to get those; I’m not even her girlfriend.

I hate to admit it that I missed her. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted her to hold my hand. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to do everything with her around me. Maybe that was why I didn’t enjoy my work nowadays. But, those weren’t make any sense. I even barely see her in the office, how could that made me become a lazy bum at office?

I know it doesn’t make sense.

*

The sun started peering up through my curtains, waking me up from my sleep. It was so bright today—or did I oversleep? Today was a public holiday and this city became so quiet because there were not much cars roving on the streets. I got up off my bed, walking to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and then walked out of my room, going to prepare breakfast for Yoong and me.

Looked like Yoona hadn’t woken up since the kitchen and dining table were still neat as it used to (because Yoona will immediately messing the table, searching for foods to be eaten once she wake up or making her own breakfast with her eyes still closed). I prepared few slices of bread and a jar of peanut butter on the table; and made two slices of bread for myself. When I was about to walk to the sofa, Yoona popped out in the doorway of her room while rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.”

She reached the dining table, making her own bread with her eyes closed. I sighed, secretly wishing she wouldn't mind to clean them up after eating her breakfast. She sat next to me and ate her bread, having her head on my shoulder. I assumed her eyes still closed when she was munching the bread.

“Don’t sleep when you are eating.”

“I’m so sleepy, but my stomach needs to be filled.”

No one talked for few minutes, enjoying our foods until Yoona dropped her head on my lap; making me jerked up in surprise because I was so into the show on TV. I groaned in pain because it was hurt. Sleepy Yoong was so annoying.

“Unnie,”

“Hm?”

“I want to ask you something. Can I?”

“Of course.”

She took a small pillow and hugged it.

“You like Jessica-unnie, don’t you?” Oh gosh.

I didn’t answer her question, keeping my mouth shut. It was still 7 in the morning and just because one freaking question, my mood had been ruined.

“Don’t you, unnie?”

“I don’t. I’m going to take a shower.” She grabbed my hand, holding me back from get out of the sofa. Urgh, not again.

“Be honest to your own sister, please?”

“I’m being honest, Yoong. What do you want? It’s still 7 in the morning, don’t ruin my mood.” Even though it was already ruined.

“No, you aren’t. You lied. I’m asking you once again. Do you like Jessica-unnie?”

“Stop it, Yoong. I mean it.” I felt her grip was become tighter and it hurt me.

“Why are you keep lying to yourself, unnie? Are you ashamed because you like a girl and not a boy? You ashamed because you are gay?”

“Love thingy isn’t important in my life, Yoong. I thought you were already know that” I finally be able to get off from the sofa and left my sister alone in the living room, heading back to my room.

“I just want to remind you, Sis.” She got up from her seat and walked towards me. Her action did stop my steps. “don’t ever ever pulled your own words back, because it’s embarrassing more than anything.”

“Even though you don’t want to say it, but it has its own role play in your life. Mark my word” She added.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked and she nodded.

“Have I ever bring a guy or a girl to our house and… and being intimate here? For past 10 years you live with me? Since you were 6 or to be exact when I was starting my teenager life in junior high school?” I tried so hard not to raise my voice, because I didn’t want my sister assuming she has a grumpy sister. “No secrets between us. Remember?”

Again, she nodded means yes. I sighed, feeling desperate how to explain this thing to my sister. I was about to lose.

“No guys or girls visiting house doesn’t mean you never falling in love. And it might be the beginning of your love story, sis. Stop being stubborn and just admit it.” I looked at her in the eyes. She smiled and patted my cheek. “Just admit it that you like Jessica-unnie. I could say that because I saw a different Tiffany-unnie whenever Jessica-unnie was around you.”

I had nothing to say.

"Jessica-unnie has an effect on you, right?"

Yes, she has.

“You can lie to everyone, but don’t lie to yourself because it will hurt you so much” and she passed me by, walking towards her room and locking herself.

I froze in my place, staring at my empty kitchen with my hand clenched by itself.

As the time kept going, I realize something. Her words were true and I didn’t know since when she became that mature and I became this childish.

I lost.

Maybe she was true.

I like Jessica.

No, I... I love her.

TBC

a/n: updated lol hope you guys like it :3 sorry for grammar error ><