Two weeks had passed. And as I expected, time flew so damn fast that I think I couldn’t remember what I was doing in the past two weeks except working. It was only four days before the wedding—Jessica’s wedding. I was going to fly to States tomorrow with Yoona. Yuri, Taeyeon, Sooyoung and Sunny had different flights with us. I think they had flown to States yesterday, or this morning—I don’t know. They didn’t say anything to me either since we barely met for past a week. They looked busier than usual.

I was packing for my needs in States for four days. I got no mood to do this but thank god I almost finished it. It took an hour only since I didn’t want to bring so much stuffs.

For the nth times today, I zoned out again. Staring blankly at my opened suitcase, my hand holding my tooth brush that I was going to insert it in the small bag. I didn’t know what to do again. Everytime I remember Jessica’s wedding, it was like the hole in my heart was grew bigger and bigger. I wasn't ready to fall into it.

Looks like, a little reminisce isn’t a bad idea.

Dropped my tooth brush to the floor and brought my knees together, hugging it tightly. I wondered if someone could replace Jessica in my heart. I remember how scared I was when I found myself seeing Jessica in another view. Not like she was my boss, but another one. And I realized that I have fallen in love with her. Perhaps, if Yoona didn’t slap me at that time, I wouldn’t realize it until I die. How stupid.

But I never thought that she had so much role in my life.

What if fate never let me to meet Jessica in the first place? I won’t be this hurt, right? And somehow I was thinking that meeting Jessica was a bad idea. Like I said before, my life was fine before I met Jessica. Oh gosh.

Why do I have deeply fell in love with Jessica?

I loved her so much. But perhaps, I love her too much were the perfect words for it.

Knocks on the door could be heard when I was in my reminisce. It was Yoong, already in pajama. I get up from my previous position, standing in front of Yoona who’s staring at me. I don’t know what happened to her because she hasn’t spoke anything.

“What’s wro—” Yoona cut off my words by hugging me tightly. Seriously, what happened to her?

I rubbed her back. Perhaps Yoong was got into a fight with Yuri, so she needed me to cheer her up. I wrapped my arms around her, keeping my hand on her back—rubbing it softly.

“Yoong, what’s wrong? Did you get into a fight with Yuri?”

“Unnie, are you okay?”

“Me? Of course I’m okay. What’s wrong?”

“About Jessica-unnie’s wedding. About going to America.”

Oh, it’s not about her, but it’s about me.

I sighed, stopping my hand from rubbing Yoona’s back. So Yoona had known about it, after all this time I hid it from her because I didn’t want her to worry about me. Of course Yuri would have told her about this. I was so stupid for not telling Yuri not to say anything about this.

“I thought you didn’t know it.”

“I found the invitation underneath the sofa in the living room and asked Yuri more about it.” Oops, looks like I was totally forgot to pick it up after I accidentally kicked it.

“Oh,”

“Unnie, would you be okay?”

“Why wouldn't I ?”

“I doubt that.”

“It’s okay.”

“We can cancel the flight, unnie. It’s not too late to do that.”

“Don’t you dare, Yoong. We have to attend the wedding. They invited us and it would be so rude if we didn’t come.”

“But—”

“Don’t worry about me. I'll be fine."

I respect Yoona. I respect her worry to me, but I can't just run away from this. It would be so coward and I didn't want Hara to think that I was afraid to see their wedding, although I was. There was no way I will let Hara to think that way.

For me, it was about ego.

*

Yoona placed our suitcases on the floor. I asked her to bring them since she was stronger than me. We just arrived at States few hours ago, after taking lunch in the restaurant at the airport we immediately head to the hotel since both of us still in jetlag mode. All I wanted to do was bum on the bed and sleep. I didn't care about the dress that I was going to use tomorrow, and I think it got folded in the suitcase. Ah screw it.

Then Yoona jumped on top of me, sitting on the back of me while I was trying to catch my breath. She was so heavy even though her body was freaking thin.

"You are...heavy!"

"Am I ?"

I didn't answer but pushed her to the side until she fell to the empty space on the bed. She laughed seeing my frowned face. Yoona looked so different than yesterday. Was it just my feelings or not, but she looked so gloomy yesterday and now she look so happy, laughing like a happy kid. Something happened, eh?

Yoona laid beside me, staring at me in the eye. She was so beautiful. I had no idea why I said that—I mean, I was her biological sister and never once in my life I admit Yoona's beauty. It was the first time. It just blurred out from my mouth. I could feel my face heated up just by realizing it.

No wonder why Yuri was deeply in love with my sister and act like an idiot just by someone mentioning Yoona. She was under Yoona's spell to be honest.

"Unnie, are you sure this is the best choice?"

"What choice?"

"Coming here and attending Jessica-unnie's wedding tomorrow."

"Yes, I want to see her in wedding dress. I can't imagine it." I chuckled. Jessica would be so beautiful in dress—wedding dress.

"Aren't you sad?"

"Sad? Of course I am. But what can I do? She belongs to Hara and they are going to be married tomorrow. I have no chance anymore."

Yoona's expressions changed. I didn't know whether it was mad or sad. It was unreadable.

"I will be fine, Yoong. Don't worry about me." I brushed my fingers through Yoona's hair.

"You're such a strong woman, unnie."

I'm not. I'm weak.

I smiled, not saying anything to Yoona. She moved closer to me, hold my hand and intertwine it together.

"Aren't Jessica-unnie too early to be married?"

"Yeah, but it's her parents' decision, not hers. She has to obey them."

"I didn't know that she is that kind of woman."

I chuckled again. "I know, right? She is such a mess by the appearance, but she has a kind heart that everyone doesn't have."

"And that's why you love her?"

"Yes. Jessica has something that make me feel loved by her."

"Why didn't you tell me from the beginning, unnie?" I felt guilty hearing this. I knew it made Yoona sad because it was like I didn't need her to be the person who would like to listen to my problem. This was my bad habit; prefer to bottle up my feelings and handle it alone although I have friends who love me and will listen to my problem. I know they will always be there.

"I didn't want you to worry. I know I can handle this alone."

"But at least you can tell me something that bothering you. I know I'm not a good person to talk to, but perhaps I can help you to release everything." She got up to a sit position. Yoona looked upset. Of course she will and the worst was I didn't know what to say to her.

"I'm your sister, unnie. Please don't make me feel like I am a stranger to you."

This time I was the one who got up and hugged her tightly. , I had no idea that she will feel that way. This was out of my expectation.

"I'm sorry, Yoong. I'm really sorry for making you feel that way, but I had no plan to do that as well. I should have to be more opened to you, but I just can't. I don't want people to worry about me."

"You said 'no secrets between us', but you are also the one who leave so much secrets. You always there when I need someone to talk to and I want to do the same when you have a hard time."

I shut my eyes, realizing that I wasn't a good sister for Yoona because she always see me as a person who she doesn't know. Thank God Yoona brought this topic so I realize my mistakes now.

Yoona raised her hands, hugging me back as she snuggle on my neck.

"Remember that I will always be there when you need someone to lean on, unnie."

"Yeah, thank you, Yoong. You are all I have."

*

Eleven o’clock in the night—the clock on the wall said so. I stared blankly at the TV screen that showing me a music video of Carly Rae Jepsen. She was my favorite, but I didn’t feel to listen to her song right now. My mind was flying away and not in its place.

It was getting closer to Jessica’s wedding.

I twisted my head to the right, seeing Yoona sleeping peacefully while hugging my right arm. She was crying and her eyes were swollen. I feel sorry to her, but I felt so much relieved now. So does Yoona, I think.

Sleepy and tired as hell and I had to sleep, but my eyes refused to be closed. My mind kept thinking about tomorrow. It wasn't even my wedding, but my heart beat so fast. Jessica will say the vows in front everyone in the Altar and she will kiss Hara’s lips.

Sadly, it was no longer to be mine.

Lips that used to be mine. Lips that used to shut my mouth everytime I whine.

Looks like I need a place to bury all of my memories with Jessica. Moving on wasn't a bad idea, although I still have no idea if I can do it or not.

TBC

a/n: ..... (/_\) bad ending. this chap is totally a failure, but i just wanted to explain about yoong's feelings lol i'm so sorry if this chap disappoint all of you :/ it was hard to find the mood to write as well ==" so sorry T_T but i hope you guys like it and as always, if you don't understand something, do PM me ^_^ have a nice weekend <3

and get ready for the next chapter ^^