12. Glass
30 Proofs that SJ Pairings Are RealHanChul, PG, 1028
I hate myself. People, seriously, don't read it.
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Heechul treasured his heart like the most precious thing it actually was. He had treasured it since the beginning of his first social experiences in kindergarten because he surely didn't want to get hurt. He considered his heart to be made of glass, cold and not easy to break into. Then he had read somewhere in the school book that glass is actually very fragile and very likely to shatter and he had decided to wrap it into blankets and armors of protective steel.
Prepared like this, he came into his teens, the age of first loves, first dates and first broken hearts. To tell the whole truth, Heechul had been thoroughly surprised to discover that he had graduated High School with his heart untouched and in one piece, but it was not like he had cried about that, in fact the thought had only made him even more positive of the protectiveness of the walls he had raisen when he had been still a child. It made him think that if he had managed to get through that difficult time not once experiencing depression because of love, then he would never get to experience one. With full enthusiasm he faced the future.
He had been recruited into the huge SM agency every single one of his friends had dreamt about and he was happily walking around it, dancing there, singing, meeting other trainees and joking with them, pranking the big idol stars that were too great to even answer their hellos. Then he had met the annoying, Chinese guy who looked so y, yet was so shy and unsure of himself. The guy who didn't understand half of the things being spoken to him and the guy that was shying away from every friendly touch and every joking remark. The guy that had something, Heechul couldn't exactly point what, but just something in himself that had made Heechul interested in him.
Soon they became friends. Soon, Heechul's heart began to escape from the steel protections, without its owner realizing it.
They had debuted together, as a part of the experimental big group called Super Junior '05 and they all had been looked down on, because who had seen such a big idol band? All of the members were having hard time trying to endure all the unfair and unreasonable hatred and it wasn't until Hankyung came back with a black eye one day, had Heechul ignored his own frustrations to actually notice the other's close to depression state. The immediate worry was natural, they had been friends after all, hadn't they. Heechul had decided to do something to rescue his friend.
The realization hit the exact same moment Heechul took off Hankyung's mask, shocking the audience, the PD, the Chinese and him himself. He loved Hankyung. He loved Hankyung and his glass heart, finally free from the heavy boundaries, was shining in all its glory again, but it was okay since Heechul trusted him. He had confessed the same night, had been accepted with tears of happiness by Hankyung and he had expected nothing less.
Heechul had always known that his Chinaman loved China more than Korea and even though he had been often joking about how he couldn't even speek Chinese anymore, he knew by the way Hankyung's whole pusture changed when they were landing at the Beijing's Airport, by the way Hankyung's smile got bigger and more honest when speaking in his native language, by the way he was talking more and faster than ever in Korea, Heechul knew that Hankyung's dream was to come back home. The real one.
But Super Junior was being popular finally! Their common dream was finally coming true, they had millions of fans, they were being looked at with respect instead of the hatred and the sapphire blue sea was spreading everywhere in the world, they were recognized and they were loved, so Heechul easily forgot about his bad feelings concerning the dancer. He was Korea's most beautiful Cinderella and Hankyung was his Prince Charming and sure he looked a little tired but who didn't those days? The popularity required time devoted for it only.
Heechul didn't notice his lover's absence at first. When he woke up alone in his room, he shrugged and turned over onto his other side because morning schedules were nothing new and surprising in Super Junior's life. It wasn't even when he found those stupid articles about some law suit in the internet that he knew what happened. It was when Ryeowook came into his room and asked where were all of Hankyung's clothes because he wanted to make laundry, that he finally believed his Prince Charming had left him. And the first crack appeared on Heechul's glass heart.
He had been living in denial after that, trying over and over again to raise the walls around this stupid muscle in his chest anew. He ignored s' knocking onto his door, ignored his manager's reasonings, ignored their leader's pleadings and Donghae's tears, he ignored everything.
Finally, Heechul came out of his room after one full month when he was sure that there will be no more scratches on his heart as he had thrown away everything that reminded him of the Chinese. He hadn't cried even once. Heechul had always been strong and nothing was going to change that, especially not some stupid love breakdown. He claimed he was fine, he danced once again, he sang once again, he did everything as always.
Then the time had come for their Super Show 2nd Asia Tour, place: Beijing. Heechul swore to himself it wouldn't affect him at all, it was just a country for God's sake, there were living millions of people!
He was managing it pretty well, he was even goofing around with the rest of the members on stage, until the Shining Star song. Until the video mesage. Until the shy 'Wo ai ni man'. Until he spotted that one person in the crowd, the only one with hoodie on his head, the only one who was looking straight into Heechul's eyes. The only one who turned away and walked slowly to the exit.
Finally, the tears broke and the glass shattered.
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God, I told you to not read it >.<
I don't know. I hate myself but I'm strangely proud of how it came out. Don't kill me, please, it's this stupid, depressing weather's fault. Also, this is the very first angst-ish thing I've ever written.
Ugh, I need some fluff. Now.
~love, angsty version of puppysauruss ;-;
Wow it still gains new readers every now and then, you are awesome people *-* (will have to fix that load of mistakes one day kk xD)
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