KHJ

i stared at the ring at my finger..... it is the forget me not ring.... mmm.... is it coincident?....  I didnt see sunbae since he went back to his room.... my manager is talking on the phone in the balcony... we had to move earlier to the company... so i rush back to my room... 

i heard my manager calling us from downstair... i get on my feet and walk to the stairs... Jae had already in the van waiting for me... i get into the van... and sit beside him.. he is observing me...

"hyun joong, did my mom say something to u?"

"aaa.... nothing important... just asking about this and that..."

"i see.... did u.... "

"did i what.... "

"by any chance ... "

"by any chance ??....."

"like me?"

"what?!... sunbae... i m straight.... "

"i see....aaa..... but..."

"but?....."

"i like to..."

"like to what sunbae?"

"i always like to bend something straight" he s grinning.... and winked his eyes...

"yah... this kind of thing is not a joke..." i felt really hot suddenly

"see.. u r blushing...."

"it just a little hot in here.... "

suddenly he put his face near me..... "by the way...."

"yes..... "

"are u...."

"what?..."

"a ?"

"yah!!! sunbae.... i am a healthy young man"

"really?..."

"yes"

" so im honored to be the first.."

"sunbae!!!.." he is laughing at me.... i dont want to listen to his jokes again... i put my earphone and listening to my mp3

when we arrive at the company, everything is ready... today the president is not in the building... he is really a busy man... so when he is not around who actually doing all the job? i m thinking.... HIM?? JAE.... no wonder he know many things about the company and staff here...

by early night we almost finish our job...  moving around the city....  really tiresome.. but this is our job... not only me n Jae.. the manager also look tired, our last destination is a live telecast.. some short talk show... we talk about our single and mini album launching, about our friendship and collaboration...  the interviewer suddenly ask me

"KHJ... i notice something new on u today.. "

"yes... anything new?"

"u r wearing a ring..... is it a gift?"

"mmm yes someone give it to me" the busy schedule make me forgot about the ring

"OMG!!!.... Jae u are wearing the same thing, is it a couple ring?"

"what? " even i didnt have enough time to look at his rings closely, one of them is similar to me

"this one? "he ask...showing it to the camera

"it is a gift from my mom" he is grinning.....

"do you mean..." the interviewer want to ask more.... but the run time is almost over

"she just want to show that she is ok with our "friendship" there goes my wicked sunbae...

JAE POV

mmm... he is wearing the ring... does this mean he is ok with me... should i make a move????....well i want to try something tonight...

we arrive at our house later... KHJ like always, sit at the sofa.... i take glasses and offered him a drink... he didnt talk much on the way back... i think he just go with the flow... i know it is really tiresome when we deny something but others always push that idea back to us.... and lastly we just let other think what they want...

he brought the wine back to his room... later... i enter his room... sharing another glass, i sit beside him... just want to tease... i put the glass and hold his hand... kiss it lightly and i look deep into his eyes... he s stiff again... i dont know what happen, suddenly i felt that i really want to kiss him..... his lips is just few centimeter from mine.... and it looks so sweet.... like a candy...

i pull myself forward... and he backing himself until his back meet the wall... there is no room to escape.... he is cornered.... the bed and the wall and me...

"s..s...s....s...sunbae...... "

"why?"

"d..d...d...dont joke anymore..."

"i never joke when im with u"

"i  i i..am a.. guy"

"i know and i am a gay and u look yummy" i put myself closer to him... holding his wrist..

suddenly he is gasping for air.....he start shaking.... his body is trembling... he became really pale...

"n...no....no.....!!!! please!!!! dont do it!!!! please let me go!!!!" ..... he started to scream...

"please... it s painful.. make it stop.... please ... let me go .. i beg u... " he s screaming louder...... i saw his eyes is full of tears....

"max... please....... " his voice is weaker... and he fainted.....

who is max?... i called the doctor ...

"what happened to him?" i asked

"he is having panic attack"

"what do u mean by that doc?"

"something trigger his fear or trauma that he had gone through before, it can start abruptly, trembling or shaking.. and fainting at the end, usually he thought he went back to the time he s been in fear, just look around, i bet he got his medicine with him.... "

i open up his drawer and found a lot of medicine in it..... the doc gave me some instruction and put an iv on him

i sit at the edge of his bed... looking at him.... i m really sorry... i didnt know.... i never thought u are having something like this.....

i bet he had been molest or before.. that explain everything ... his stiffness and nightmare before....

i caress his hand.... sitting there until i fall asleep

KHJ

i woke up.... someone is sleeping near me, holding my hand... Jae... i saw an IV near me.... what happened ? did i fainted again... i didnt remember... last thing i remember is Jae is moving closer to me ... i felt sleepy... and fall asleep again....