today is the day...

"hyung... are u there? did u arrive?"

"yes... , where are you? i didnt see you"

"wait for me.. i ll be there "

the manager is quiet.. like always... (actually he s been thinking really hard... at this date, every year, the president will ask him to clear up KHJ scedule, so that he will be free... does the president know? but how? KHJ didnt like to talk about his family the outsider... the one who know him is me, because i am the only person he ever talk a lot... )

"hyung , i m here... "

"lets go, hyun jin... how s ur class? everything ok at the university?"

"everything is fine, i worried more about u... so how about ur next project?"

"mmm that.... it makes me busy...  a lot of things are unexpected... "(why didnt he asked me about the rumours? is he really ok with it?)

the van started to move... they are on their way to their hometown...

hyun Jin POv

why didnt my hyung talk about that guy... i want to ask him about the rumors i heard.... but will it upset him? actually when i first heard about it, i cannt believe it... because my hyung never talk about that man -Jae to me, never mention the name, what i know is that he is at the same company with my hyung....

when i heard the rumors circulating my hyung last week, i search around the net.... my earring have exposed him...somewhere deep in my heart i felt guilty.... i know that it is not easy to be exposed like that.... he must had received some harsh words.... eventhough most of their fans are on their side, still there are some who cannot accept that their idols is a gay...

hyung... i am sorry... did i make things very difficult for u??.....

i surf the net about his boyfriend... that man, there is so many gossip circulating around him... will my hyung be ok with him?....

KHJ POV

he didnt ask anything about Jae... why my little brother is so quiet today.... he seemed to be in deep thinking... is he really ok with the rumors? i want to explain to him... but how?... do he really accept my relation with other man... is he really ok with me being gay if that is really true?..

is it really alright ??? .. what if later they found out that he is my little brother? he will face harsh treatment from others...

ah... he fall asleep already... we have quite a long journey ....may be i ll explain about it later...

the manager stop the car, they had arrived... this place is so peaceful.... from the mountain he saw trees and river below... there are no sign of development here..... the nature is unexploited..... he heard the bird sing from the trees near by..... he is thinking by himself - if i died, may be i want to be here too

they open their eyes... the car had stopped... we here again.... mom.. dad... we are here again...

"hyung.... "

"do you think they are alright up there?"

"i know they are..."

"do you think they are happy with us?"

"i know they are always proud of us..."

"they left quite early right...?"

"yea...i m sure they always here with us.. protecting us"

"hyung..."

"yea.."

"i know they are at ease eventhough they leave early"

"why?....."

"because they know that they have u here watching me for them"

"mmmm... but im not sure ive done enough for u...."

"dont worry...u have more than enough..." he said while patting my head.....(should be me patting him..... it was always like this..... since our parent depart... i think my little brother is a lot more stronger than me.... )

KHJ POV

we headed back to Seoul later...

"mmmm say.... hyung?"

"yea.... are everything ok? i mean with him..." he asked

"what do you mean?..."

"i know that u are like that a long time ago... gay i mean.."

suddenly everythings are silent...

"mmmm..." what did he means by that...he put his head on my shoulder...

"u always work... to find money for me... i never heard you talk about girls before... even guy.... , but there is someone that u always talk about.... your best friend back then.... the one that own the bar.... you treat him almost  as good as u treat me.... u two are unseperated back then... u even brought him over to see me and our parent here.. sometimes i felt really jealous seeing there is someone receiving the same attention from you... "

"mmm... that guy.... " he is talking about him.... the one that me... i never tell him about that...

"at that time i thought u didnt want me to worry.. thats why u never told me... about that kind of thing... do u scare that i will not accept u if u like that?"

"it is not like that.. hyun jin-ah... i..."

"its ok hyung... i will always love u whatever u are.... because i know that u also will do the same too... i just want u to ease the burden... "

"mmm...." i cannot say anything

"just share some of that heavy things on ur shoulder with me... i m old enough to carry it with u... " with that words.... he fall asleep at my shoulder... this little brother of mine...

i see my manager looking at me from the mirror... there are sadness and ease in his eyes... i dont know what is in mine.... so i just close my eyes

we arrive near his dorm at night... today is a very long day....

"say.. hyung..."

"yea.. if u really serious about him... just let us meet... i m eager to know what kind of man that had succeeded to open my hyung heart once again... "

"later... " i said i didnt want to explain that the rumours are false ... later may be

"promise me ... and... actually i shouldnt say this.. but... i think u should know."

"what..."

"that guy... ur ex, he came and see me here few months ago... he still a nice person like before...  "

i m speechless...

"bye hyung.. see u... text me when u reach home "

"bye.. take care.. "

what he said back then.... did i mislead my best friend years ago.... did i really treat him like my boyfriend... but i didnt mean to, but whatever the reason he shouldnt do what he did back then... he shouldnt me... and left, i felt like trash at that time.. luckily hyun jin didnt know about it... he came here, at his university? why.... did he want to show me that he still around... he know that i m afraid of him...