MinKi

I sit on the toilet, just letting the tears stream out. I feel like I’m having an anxiety attack, but I keep my breathing steady. I wipe the pathetic tears away and sit there, replaying what has just happened a few minutes ago. It seems so surreal. The moment feels like a scene just out of some random high school teenage melodrama.

FLASHBACK

Duck-Won and I sat at our usual lunch table, deep in conversation on BaekHo’s return to school the next day. I got up to throw away my lunch but accidently bumped into JR and the remaining of my food splattered all over him.

“Sorry…. I’m so sorry” I said, taking a clean napkin and trying to clean off the stain. I was only making the stain bigger and making JR madder.

“Get your dirty hands off me!” He yelled. Everyone in hearing distance stopped what they were doing and focused on us.

“Sorry” I said, reaching down and grabbing my tray. As I was about to walk pass him, he pulled me back. I stood there in silence, waiting for whatever insults to be thrown at me.

“MinKi, you just don’t know your place, do you?” he demanded. More kids got out of their seats and came closer to listen on. I stood there in silence. *This is one of the days when I actually wish there were teachers around!*

“You’re always going around playing the sympathetic person, manipulating and stealing one of my best friends in the process” he spat out. I felt a tag on my sleeve and looked up. It was Duck-Won standing next to me. I looked up to find Minhyun standing behind JR.

“If you all should know, MinKi is a GUY. And a cross dresser trying to be a GIRL!!!!” He screamed. I stood there, shocked. When he first said that, I thought I didn’t hear him correctly, but he repeated himself.

“Woah MinKi! You surely are a freak” some girl standing nearby said. I was shocked by the announcement that I ran out of the lunchroom. I ran to the girls’ restroom and quickly rolled a wad of tissues to dry my cheeks and blow my nose. The tears just wouldn’t stop.

END OF FLASHBACK

I get on my feet and head towards the door. I step out of the bathroom and as soon as I do that, Duck-Won appears out of nowhere.

“Are you feeling okay?” he moves in front of me and embraces me. I put my head on his shoulder and sob.

“It’s going to be okay. Please stop crying, MinKi. JR doesn’t deserve your tears”

“Why am I cursed, Duck-Won?” I ask, not wanting him to answer.

“You’re not cursed MinKi. It’s just that there are ignorant people out there who refuse to accept and understand people in your situation” He answers.

“Well, my life ” I state as I push away from him. “Sorry for crying on your uniform” I look over his uniform and surprisely there are no wet spots on him.

“Who cares about my uniform? All I care about is you” Duck-Won says as he rubs my back in an attempt to comfort me.

“I’m going to go home”

“I’ll come with you”

“No I don’t want to ruin your day” I slowly walk backwards towards the lunchroom. I turn around and walk in with Duck-Won behind me. I hear the whispers and pointing. I hold back the tears as I near our table and slip on my backpack.

“MINKI! I hate you!!!” I hear Angie call out. I turn around to find her charging at me with a big bottle of water. She pours it on me and backs away, anger burning through her eyes. I look down at myself. The front of my uniform is totally wet. I look at Duck-Won and his face is wet. I’m guessing he was trying to protect me from getting hit with water.

“I HATE YOU! It’s all your fault that I’m now single” judging by the veins popping out from the sides of her neck, she’s not lying. She shoves me back but as she’s about to hit me, a couple of her friends come and pull her back. I stand there confused and feeling sick to the stomach. *Why am I being dragged in Angie and JR’s breakup?* *what have I done to deserve this curial treatment?*

“Let’s go” Duck-Won softly says, pulling me away. He pulls me close to his body as we walk towards the school entrance.

“I’ll tell the teacher that you went home sick” We stand at the entrance, looking out. I let out the tears I’ve been holding in.

“MinKi, please don’t. I want you to leave here with a smile not a frown” he says, wiping my tears away.

“Now smile”. I fake a smile, putting in a bit of laughter to top it off.

“Go. I’ll text you later” he says as I’m walking away. As soon as I’m out of his sight and out of school, I let the tears fall. I stand at the station with my head down. A grandmother offers me a tissue and I blow my nose with it. When the bus driver opens the door, he just nods and shows me a sorry look. I sit in the back with my head down the whole way. I go home and open the door. I don’t feel like talking and my head is pounding.

“Ren, aren’t you suppose to be in school?” I hear my mother ask. I take off my shoes, about to go to my room but I’m stopped by my mother.

“Sweetie, what happened to you?” she asks, coming towards me.

“I fell in water during lunch” I quickly lie. I feel so guilty for lying to my mom.

“No you didn’t, now tell me the truth” She demands, touching my face. I gently push her hand away.

“Mom, I’ll tell you later. I don’t feel good” I walk to the kitchen and take 2 pills of pain reliever. I go upstairs, take and cold shower and then crawl deep inside my blanket, trying to push out the world.

I’m getting sick of living.