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            It was lunch time.  Minyu, Eunsung, and I were waiting in line.  The musical practice started 2 weeks ago and they are tiring.  We were running through the entire musical this week since we only have 1 month and a half until opening night, which is unreasonably short.  The seniors were a bit slow this year with their preparations.

            Regardless, everyone else is full of energy…  And, I am tired as heck.  The only time I feel like I’m at home is for sleep.  Not even dinner anymore.  I hardly see my parents and Lu Han.  I don’t mind not being able to see Dad since we haven’t talked since the argument.  But, I do mind not talking to Mom.  We always have the best conversations, but I was way too busy to go see her during her office hours.

            I was getting mad thinking about how I had my acne had broken out these last few days.  With the stress from the musical and school work, I broke out pretty bad.  Not to mention the fact that I will be starting my period soon…  It wasn’t as bad, but I had been working hard to keep my skin clear and healthy for the past 2 years.

            “Mia.” said Eunsung.

            “Hm?” I asked, as Lu Han came to my side.

            “I’ve never noticed this before…  But, your knees are really close to the ground.” she commented, randomly.

            I flashed a confused look and Lu Han and Minyu started laughing.  “What the hell?” I asked, laughing.  I quickly glanced down at my legs.  “Why would you say that?”

            “It’s because it’s true.” said Minyu, Eunsung, and Lu Han in unison.

            I blinked.  Eunsung smiled.  “Don’t give me that look.  You’re cute like that!” said Minyu.

            This time, I flashed a disgusted look.  “I wish I was tall.” I said.

            “I wish I was short.” Eunsung and Minyu said.  They were both 173 cm tall and there I was standing at 154 cm.

            “Why?” I asked.

            “Why would you want to be tall?” asked Eunsung.

            “I know!  It’s so hard to find a guy!” added Minyu.

            I looked over at Lu Han and he smiled softly.  “I like tall girls.” he replied.

            “See?” I said, pointing to him.  “He likes tall girls and so do a lot of guys.  There’s a lot of leg action going on!”

            “It’s because Lu Han’s tall!” laughed Minyu.  “The average height is around 173 cm.  Guys like girls who are shorter than them…  Besides, short girls are cuter!”

            “Tall girls can be cute too.” I shrugged.

            “True.” nodded Lu Han.

            “Well why do you like tall girls?” asked Eunsung, curious.

            “It’s because it’s easier to kiss them.” quickly replied Lu Han.

            A blush crept over her face and I laughed.  “See!”I said, pointing my finger at her. 

            “Kissing a shorter girl is a bit complicated.” said Lu Han.  He quickly leaned down to my face, as if he was about to kiss me.

            I quickly pushed him away from me as he started laughing.  Minyu just shook her head.  “Lu Han, that didn’t look complicated at all!” she said.

            “Well, it is!” he said.  “I’ve dated a few short girls before and I don’t like it.”

            “It just has to be preference then.” shrugged Eunsung.

            “Exactly.” I said.  “But…  Still.”  I looked down at my legs.  Were my knees really that close to the ground?

            After lunch, I just wanted to go sleep.  But, I still need to do my math homework.  Lu Han and I were in the library.  I was doing math and he was finishing homework for another class.  I couldn’t keep my eyes open as I tried to finish the simple math problem.

            “Mia.” said Lu Han, sharply.

            I quickly jumped in my seat as I opened my eyes.  I didn’t even know that I fell asleep.  I looked over at him.  My eyesight was hazy.  “I’m tired.” I said, as my eyesight came back.

            “Yeah, I could tell.” said Lu Han, nodding his head.  “Maybe you should go home and take a nap.”

            “I can’t.” I replied with a groan.  “I have to finish our math homework.”

            Lu Han shrugged his shoulders.  “You can copy mine.” he said.

            “No, I won’t learn anything.” I said.  “Besides, it’s not like I can copy your test when we have them.  I’m going to fail that class if I do that.”

            Lu Han just smiled.  “OK.” he said.  “You don’t want to fail.”

            “I don’t.” I said.

            I suddenly thought about my schedule after math class.  I have practice until 9. I go home and then eat dinner.  By the time, I get done with food, it will be 10 since I take a long time relaxing.  Shower.  Then, homework and reading my class textbooks on music theories.  By that time, my mind completely zones out and I can’t get anything done.   That would be at 2 AM and I sleep then.

            I became stressed out, thinking about my life for the next month and a half.  I always get myself in trouble, I thought.  But since I won’t be a music major next year, I should really enjoy the time I have with music right now.

            “You look stressed out.” commented Lu Han.

            I looked at him.  “And you look like you’re depressed.” I said.  Which was true.  He has been very quiet these last few days.  He hasn’t been talking as much or has teased me as much and has been looking quite sad lately.

            “Is your dad OK?” I asked, suddenly.  Maybe his dad was sick?  “Is he OK?”

            “He’s fine.” replied Lu Han, solemnly.  I could tell from his eyes that he wasn’t present at the moment.  And, with that, he went back to his work.

            I just stared at him.  What’s wrong with Lu Han?, I thought.

            I haven’t told Eungsun and Minyu about my decision to change my major.  The last thing I want right now is a lecture from them. 

            Lu Han and I were heading over to math class when we met Dad on the way.  He was sitting on the bench under a huge oak tree.  The leaves were starting to turn beautiful shades of orange.  Fall was approaching.

            “Mia!” Dad called out.

            We didn’t even know that he was there because we were in a hurry to get to class.  We turned our heads to face him and he motioned for me to go over to him.  I quickly nodded my head at Lu Han to tell him to go first.  He left without hesitation.

            Tension has been lingering around our house ever since the argument even if I never see Dad these days.  Mom and Lu Han has been uncomfortable lately and I could tell.  They don’t need to say anything because I can see it on their faces.

            “Hi Dad.” I said, without hesitation.  It was so natural as it was supposed to be.

            “I know that you need to go to class.” he said, as he patted the seat next to him.  “I just need a few seconds with you.”

            I didn’t mind.  Math class has and will always be the last thing I care about.  I rather be with Dad anyways.

            Dad smiled as I sat next to him.  He took my hand.  “You’ve been really busy lately.” he said.

            I smiled and nodded my head.  “Yeah, I have.” I replied.

            “I really wanted to talk to you…  And, knowing how much you loathe math, I thought that it was best if I caught you before it.” Dad said.

            I laughed.  “You always know me the best, Dad.” I said.

            He in a sharp breathe when I said that and nodded my head.  His grip on my hand tightened.

            “You know that I love you, right?” asked Dad.  I nodded my head and he took in a deep breath.  “I love you, Mia.  I love so much that I don’t know how to protect you properly…  I worry about you.  We have always been really close, but we have been distant this past year because of what you want to do with your life…

            “As a father, I want to protect you and want you to have the best of the best.  If you wanted a financial business-related job, I can help you by pulling some strings because I know people.  But, with the entertainment business, I can’t.  I can’t help you because I know no one.  And, it pains me not to see you succeed.  

            “Mia, I love you and I want you to know that I support you in everything you do.  I said those things to you the other day because I want to protect you from the world…  And, that is only because I keep on forgetting that you are grown up.  You need to face the world to become a stronger person.” said Dad, looking at me.  He cupped my face with his big, warm hands and smiled.  “You are no longer the cute, baby girl you used to be.  You're all grown up now...”

            I started to cry.  “Daddy.” I said, as I gave him a hug.  “I love you too.  I’m sorry for not telling you about getting into the musical.”

            Dad pulled me closer to his chest.  “It’s OK, Mia.” he said.  “It was my fault for not being open to your career choice.”

             Dad, Mom, Lu Han, and I went out for the night.  They wanted me to spend some time with them since today’s rehearsal was cancelled.  It was nice to be with them since I wasn’t able to spend much time with them.

                After dinner and a movie, we came home.  Dad and Mom went upstairs to rest meanwhile Lu Han and I were eating ice cream in the kitchen.  I turned to face him.

                “So, what has been bothering you lately?” I asked.

                “Hm?” asked Lu Han, completely in his own world.

                “Exactly.” I remarked.  “What’s wrong, Lu Han?”

                “Nothing.” he replied, with a casual shrug.

                “Just because I haven’t been around that much, that doesn’t mean I can’t tell that you’ve been distant lately.” I commented.

                There was a silence as I waited for Lu Han to say something.

                “I’ve just been thinking a lot.” said Lu Han, almost in a whisper.

                “About?” I probed.  “You’ve been a bit different lately as well.”

                Lu Han flashed me a soft smile.  “Now, you’re just exaggerating.” he said.  He stood up from the seat across from me.  “I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep.”

                I nodded my head, not wanting to get to annoying or nosey.  Whatever it was that was on his mind, it was seriously bothering him.  If it’s something he doesn’t want to talk about with, then it’s fine.

                I woke up to someone poking me.  I opened my eyes to see someone looming over me with a heavy breathing, in the dark.  I was startled and then realized it was Lu Han.  I the lights and he was completely covered in sweat as if he ran few miles.

                “L-Lu Han!” I said, worried.  “What’s wrong?!”

                He swallowed hard and tried to take in a deep breathes.  He took the seat at the foot of my head and stared at the ground.  “Blood…” he said, softly.  “There was a lot of blood…”

                “Blood?” I asked, as I sat up and crawled to his side.  I looked around his body to see any sign of wounds.  “Did you hurt yourself?  Lu Han, did something happen?”

                Lu Han shook his head slowly and then I heard him sniff.  I quickly looked up at him to find him crying.  “Lu Han…  Why are you crying?   Was it a bad nightmare?”

                How he was acting completely scared me.  He had never done this before.  I really thought that he had a horrible dream.

                Lu Han quickly turned to me and hugged me.  He buried his face into my shoulder as he let out a sob.  I pushed his hair away from his face as I tried to calm him down. 

                “Hey, it’s only a dream.” I said.  “It’ll be OK.”

                I could feel Lu Han’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard.  “It wasn’t a dream…” he whispered.  “Those were my memories.”

                I pulled away from the hug, confused.  Lu Han couldn’t look at me in the eyes.  “I-It’s a long story.” he said.

                Lu Han had to explain his story for me to be much of a help.  I finally knew his reason for being in Korea and what he was running away from.  He told me about Hua, their unborn child, and the mess that he was in.

                A friend of his named Kris had sent him Hua’s personal diary.  Lu Han wanted to read it, but can’t bring himself to.  I felt that in away, he feels so guilty for the death of this young woman and that he doesn’t want to bring closure to the situation.  It seems like he wants to make himself suffer for putting her through the pregnancy and the miscarriage, which led her to her death.

                “I feel like Hua’s restless ghost is after me…  For not being there enough for her.” said Lu Han, as he stopped crying.  He turned to me and took my hand in his.  “Since you are my only good friend here, will you help me read through her diary?”

                I nodded my head.  “Of course.” I said.  Even though my Simplified Chinese writing skills were limited, I didn’t care.  I wanted to be there for Lu Han because he was there for me when I needed someone there.

Entry 62:

                Today I met a guy named Ching Lu Han from the BanBing Fashion Show.  He seems to be an interesting guy.  He’s not like any other guy I’ve ever met before.  Even though he’s smooth with his talking, he’s a classy person and is a gentleman.

                I wasn’t able to talk to him much during the fashion show, but I got a chance to at the after-party last night.  Although he has a baby face with boyish charms, he’s calm, quiet, and slightly shy. 

                He’s not too quiet to a point where I can’t go anywhere in a conversation with him, which is good.  He stands out in the crowd because of his good looks, but is modest about it.  I know that he’s rich, but he doesn’t flaunt it off.  He seems to be a person who genuinely cares those close to him.  For example, he was a model for this fashion show because his friend’s model got into an accident.  So, he was kind enough to offer himself as a replacement.

                I think I like Lu Han.  He’s a good guy in many ways.

-Hua

                After reading a few journal entries, Lu Han decided to skip some of them.  He really wanted to know how Hua was feeling a few months before her death.  He didn’t just wanted to skip to the end and read the last journal entry because he said that he might be confused, regarding her feelings.

Entry 97:

                Lu Han is an AMAZING lover.  Period.  Just because he has a baby face, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have skills in bed.  He’s a babe magnet and took advantage of it, which I don’t mind because I’m getting all the benefits.

                I’m so excited. 

                The only guy that has made me screamed like that was the guy I lost my ity to.

-Hua

                I looked away from the journal, glanced at Lu Han, and then back at the journal.  “I feel like I’m reading .” I said.

                That was just awkward, I thought.  The last thing I need to know right now is how much his ex-girlfriend enjoyed their ual experiences together…

                Lu Han cleared his throat.  “Uh…” he managed to say.  “Sorry about that.”

                “Uh…  Yeah.” I replied.  “It’s nice to know that you’re not a anymore and quite skilled in that field.”

                Lu Han just blinked.  Now is not for a time like this.  That seemed to be what he was trying to tell me as he just flipped the page.  I closed my eyes and prayed. 

                Hopefully there won’t be any more journal entries regarding with Lu Han, PLEASE!!, I thought.

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

            Yay!  Mia and her dad made up!!

            And, Lu Han is finally bringing closure to his past?  Well, it seems like he is.

LOVE,

loveFORyunho