Jeju, December 2017

I was laying lazily in the couch when a message arrived to my phone. I knew who texted me without even looking into it, and I knew what the message would be, without even reading the text. Bottle of scotch was in the table, but I was not in the mood to pour it down to my glass. The feeling I was feeling right now was so weird in so many levels, I could not even describe it in words.

From: J

I just landed.

See you soon.

I smiled.

Yes, you did not read it wrong. I did smile.

Because, truly, I was really looking forward to it.

Looking forward to her arrival.

Months before my military service started, I got even more and more melancholic. Like there was something I needed to do, but I did not know what. My friend who did it before me, told me, that yes, it would feel that way. When we count down to our military service, we will be more sensitive, about anything. We will feel fear, we will feel so anxious.

Some of them told me, for my position, seeing the popularity I was having, it would be very much understandable if I felt that way. The feeling of leaving this fame for a while to serve the country. Wondering whether or not the public would still remember me once I comeback several months later. Wondering whether the fans would still look forward for my music once I came back. Wondering whether or not the popularity and fame I was having now will remain the same or not.

But little did they know, I did not worry about those.

If I had to stop, at this point, and watch my popularity started to decline, I won’t care.

Being a big headed for once, my money was enough to feed me until the day I die. The amount of money I made, and still making through the copyright of the songs I made, was enough for me even if I had to stop working, at all.

But it was not the fame or the popularity.

But, I did not even know, what. What and why I was feeling this way.

From: J

I met manager oppa already.

We are on our way.

I miss you so much.

I smiled.

Yes, you did not read it wrong. I did smile.

Because, truly, I was feeling the same way.

I miss her so much too.

A half an hour later, i stood up from my couch, walking closer to the window that I had been watching the whole hours. It was facing the ocean. The reason I bought this villa years ago. So I could watch the ocean through my own window. Hoping it would heal, from anything I might need to let go from.

I could hear the sound of it, sound of the water when they hit the bunch of sand.

I could watch from here, how the water danced beautifully along with the night wind.

The night was dark but my eyes still could find a way to catch those beautiful waves.

My phone in my hand vibrated again.