Seongsu-dong

March 2022

“Noona!!!! Have you heard????” the guy just entered my house the second I clicked open. He put his jacket in the standing rack, like he always, and walked inside. I wondered what thing he just heard seeing the way he rushed into my house in this hour. It was 10 pm, for God’s sake.

I took two cups of yoghurt from the fridge and offered one to him, which he shook his head. “I am full,” he said. “Unless you had something spicy.”

I laughed. “Stop eating something spicy, we both are singers.”

He called out Zero and put him in his lap. He took a deep breath before saying again, “I have news, big news, grand news, and seeing your face, I know for sure, you have not heard. As this is a big news, I need something spicy, or something like wine, please? Noona?”

“Is it big news for you or for me?” I walked to the kitchen to take the glass and one bottle of wine. The glass was only one. I did not have a plan to drink. Yoghurt was enough for me. I placed the glass in front of him, sat down in the couch, and turned the TV off.

He opened the bottle, poured it into his glass, swirled it before finally took a sip.

I waited patiently next to him. Because I knew him. He sometimes overreacted over everything. Like literally everything. That’s why I was just there, sat down with my yoghurt, and waited for him to finally speak.

He took a deep breath. “Guess who will come to our show?”
 

“Nolto?” I asked back.

“What else other than Nolto???? Our company have not agreed to give us the show that has been proposed, for years,” he replied.

I shrugged. “Who? Someone I know?”

He placed the glass in the table and put Zero to the floor, and asking him to go. He looked like a parent who does not want his son listening to the conversation he’s having. I laughed at him. “Hear me out and do not be too surprised,” he said.

“YAAAA! Kim Ki Bum!!! Just spill it, already!” I shouted at him, now being so impatient with him.

He, again, took a deep breath.

“Kwon. Ji. Yong. AKA. G. Dra. Gon,” he said which making me stunned.

I crashed into the couch after put the empty yoghurt cup I just finished, upon the table.

“You have not heard?” he asked which I replied with shake of a head. “Noona, how?”

I was still in silence.

How? I did not know how. It was inevitable, I thought. Since that year when I turned my back from him, I knew the consequences. Even way before that, when we were sitting in his car, years ago, almost decade ago, I knew the consequences. We work for the same industry, there will be times we would share same stage, same studio, same show, I knew for sure, I cannot avoid something like this.

“What do you mean, how?” I finally spoke. “What do you think I can do other than being Kim Taeyeon, always? That Kim Taeyeon the public knows. SNSD’s Kim Taeyeon. Nothing’s new. I thought you would tell me something so important,” I said, being in that Kim Taeyeon mode. Fake it. Though deep down, my heart was sinking deep down. Why did I need to meet him again?

“This is not important to you?” Key looked disappointed at how I responded.

“Tell me, Key, what is so new with meeting another idols on TV Show?”
 

“He’s not just an idol you would meet backstage, Noona. We both know he’s not,”

I shrugged again. “I met him on stage during MAMA in 2015, I met him again during GDA 2016, and we just did what we should do. Me being SNSD’s Kim Taeyeon and him as Bigbang’s G-Dragon. What’s new? I know for sure, there would be times we would meet, the industry is small. I know and I already took that into consideration decade ago, before all of this mess happened. So it will be fine, really,” I continued again.

“Noona, there would be times that I think I need to take an extra lesson from you.”

“For?” I asked, confused.

“For being the perfect idol we could expect. You play the role, SNSD’s Kim Taeyeon, really well,” he answered, which made me kind of sad. “I know for sure, he still affects you. If not, you would not remember you met him, during GDA, that was six years ago, and MAMA seven years ago. You would forget about those if he has no effect on you.”

His words made me stood up to go to the kitchen. I poured the cold water and gulped it down, fast.

He spoke again, “and don’t you think this time is different? No Kiko, no Baekhyun..”

“There was no Kiko and Baekhyun too, years ago when I met him again,” I cut him off.

“I have not finished my sentence, yet,” he smirked. “And now, no heavy expectations on you, from the public. Don’t you think, this time, at this point of your career, it would be different. The way you see your career, the way he sees his career, the way the public sets expectation on you, and on him? The way the company takes care your private matters, and his company to his private matters? The involvement of our company, to our private lives. Don’t yo