September 2016

 

No matter how many times I’d tried to take those images out of my head, it lingered. It had been days since the first time I caught those pictures, but still it stayed in my brain. Today was exhausting enough, fansign, recording, meeting at the company, but here I was again, back at home, and still my thoughts went back to those pictures again.

 

“She is my friend,”

“I did not ask,”

“I just think, I need to clarify it to you,”

“And why is that?”

“They are just pictorial,”

“What I mean, why you think you need to clarify,”

“I just think, I should,”

“Hm…”

“I do not like when you started to ‘Hm’”

“I do not like when you started to explain something I did not ask,”

“Just in case..”

“In case?”

“In case you wonder,”

“I’d never wondered about anything,”

 

Conversation back in March went again in my head when the video went out.

I washed my face once again.

 

The water clearly did not help, because it cannot erase those pictures moving in my head, they were moving by themselves, like pieces of puzzle. Suddenly the bigger picture appeared. At the end, it all made sense. All those questions. All those wonders I promised myself I won’t start wondering why and how.

 

The next second, there were a sound from the door.

I heard Ginger was barking.

 

Oh no.

 

“So sorry,”

 

Right, it’s too late

To reserve the scar

It’s too late

 

Scar after scar.

Apology after apology.

 

“I am so sorry,” the voice got even closer.

 

I feel miserable, feelings are running out

It just keeps spinning like a loose ring

It doesn’t matter, I suppose this is how love is

 

Another sorry. Another apology.

I did not know how to respond, I just continued washing my clean hands.

 

Feels like heaven, feels like hell

Even that, I don’t care

I will again

Go back to you

 

Another second, I could feel his arms hugging me from the back.

 

“I am so sorry,”

 

I really wanted to ask him, how many times again he would say that?

 

But myself betrayed me again.

I held his arms. And them.

I could feel he hugged me even tighter.

And I felt so damn glad.

How could I still feel the comfort from his hug, in times like this?

I should be mad at him right now.

I could be yelling.

 

“I am so sorry,”

 

All he needed was an apology for me to successfully betray myself.

I turned my body and hugged him back.

 

You call me crazy, so what

Cause I can’t control myself

In front of you

Everything becomes out of control

It feels like everything is going to explode

Cause I can’t control myself

 

***

 

 

 

AN: i am back again with GTae, saying sorry for TopFany lmao.

But since i finished the story line, and TopFany story way much triggering, hence i kinda need to abandon it. anyways, lets see can i commit to post every Sunday. 

See you tomorrow!

Hope the poster is okay tho.