“Sir, You’ve been drinking too much since a while ago. We suggest you refrain from ordering more drinks” one of the bar staff said blocking a customer.

“ I came here …to drink so ******mind** your own ******* busi..ness” the customer answered in a disoriented state but still tried to throw a punch to the staff who warned him.

“ That’s it, throw him out before he cause anymore trouble” one of the staff said signaling the guards standing by the door.

“ Don’t****…. *hic… ****** I’m can decide for myself******&*^*%^&*$^$%!” Sungyeol was incoherent as he tried to fought off the guards from touching him.

“ Wait! I’m so sorry. I know him, he’s my friend.’ Sungjong immediately got up on his feet and came to help,” I’m really sorry. I came to look for him. He’s been through a lot lately, I’ll take him home now. Hyung, you’re drunk. Let’s go home”

The younger boy helped Sungyeol got on his feet towards the door. Dongwoo who’s a bit shocked at first followed suit.

“The ***** you** who* are you **people!” Sungyeol was trying to ask. But by the time they got out of the pub up to the stairs into the street his breathing became shallow and he started to vomit turning pale.

An hour later Sungjong was talking to the doctor when Myungsoo came rushing into the room with a panic looked on his face. Earlier on their way to the hospital the younger boy sent an email to his roommate about the incident.

“What happened? Is he alright?!” Myungsoo said in gasps, he was clearly running before he got into the room. His expression was in a panic his eyes not taking off Sungyeol.

“anemia. Lack of sleep and exhaustion paired with his habit of getting drunk recently that his body gave in” the doctor explained, “ a couple of hours of rest and he should be fine. But just to be sure we’re letting him stay for the night to monitor his alcohol level.”

“ Damm*t Sungyeol, I leave you alone for a day and this happens!” Myungsoo gritted his teeth. His hand reached Sungyeol’s to hold while the older guy lay still on the bed with his eyes shut.

Sungjong remained silent, he can clearly see how upset Myungsoo is that even the doctor was reluctant to say anything.

“Don’t worry once we fully checked that there’s nothing wrong with Mr. Lee he can go home in the morning.” the doctor smiled, “ Well then, I’ll take my leave. A nurse will be here shortly to further asses Mr. Lee but if you need anything just press the button on the bedside table.”

 “Ah, Uhh… I’ll walk you out.” Sungjong offered to thank the doctor.

When the door shut behind him and the doctor left the younger boy was standing alone in the hospital lobby trying to decide whether he should go back inside the room or just go. In the end Sungjong end up sitting outside the hospital door staring aimlessly on the floor.

Inside the room, Myungsoo was sitting beside the patient, his hands not letting go of Sungyeol’s. Then his phone lit up and a message flashed on the screen.

I still have something to do, I’m leaving first.

9:13pm

Reading the message, Myungsoo’s body dashed outside the hospital room. The lobby was now empty except for a few nurses making their rounds.

Once Sungjong got home he did not bother turning on the lights and went straight to the second floor, climbed into the bed and fell asleep. He felt exhausted he can’t even think but now it was clear to him. The sign he had been waiting finally happened. The young art student close his eyes to sleep in doing so a trickle of tear escape his eyes.

The next morning Sungjong woke up in a dazed. The house was extremely quiet as he got out of his long bath. However when he got to the kitchen he was surprise to see the table set up for two of what seems to be a candlelight dinner.

A card was standing by the side of the table and he came to pick it up

For all the promises I didn’t keep.

A sign for peace and forgiveness ^o^

Myungsoo

“ I should clean up” the younger boy mumbled to himself as he threw the card into the trash bin and starts to put back the cutlery into the cupboards.  

Woohyun have been sitting for more than five minutes but his friend did not even stir to acknowledge his presence.

Lately Sungjong have been looking too preoccupied, the young boy have this distant lost look on his face every time he’s alone. When he’s surrounded by people the latter seems to be looking for someone else. Of course Woohyun had a hunch who the reason was.

Up until now there are till people trying to get to Sungjong after the news about him and Myungsoo but after the incident with Sungjae it seemed that the people had distanced themselves. It didn’t take long for him to find out that Myungsoo had been making sure that the younger boy would be protected. However there seem to be another problem that the two are facing. Sometimes when Woohyun would talked to his friend it’s like Sungjong was hiding something.

His smiles were lesser than they were before. Woohyun thought to himself.

“hyung, we’re setting up for the competition” Sungjong snapped Woohyun to reality, “ I’ve been calling you for sometimes now, what happened?”

“I could ask the same thing you know” the older boy said out from his deep thoughts, “ you look like a total wreck this time. What have you been up to? Where’s Myungsoo? Did you eat already?” Woohyun asked one after the other.

“ I’ll eat after” Sungjong gave a faint smile and headed for the exhibition hall.

“ Aiya kids these days” Woohyun shook his head.

Around lunch time Sungjong’s phone rang. It was Myungsoo…

“Hey, how are you? You didn’t even send me a message” the older boy said through the phone.

“ I could say the same to you” Sungjong replied.

“ I’m sorry, I was up all night. Did you go home last night?” Myungsoo’s voice was implying something.

“ I did, went straight to bed” Sungjong’s voice was monotone.

“oh, you did? Okay, uhmm how about breakfast did you eat…?”

“ Anyways, why did you call? How’s Sungyeol?” the younger boy interrupted. Now he felt guilty for throwing the card.

“ He still felt weak when he woke up so the doctors decided to release him this afternoon instead. He’s fine now.”

‘oh, good to hear then. “

There was an awkward silence between the two lines. It was Myungsoo who spoke first.

“Could you come here.” Myungsoo’s voice was almost pleading, “ please. I need you”

Woohyun was working on his exhibit when Sungjong walked pass by in a hurry.

“ Sungjong-ah, where are you going?”

“ I’ll leave for a bit hyung. I’ll be back later” Sungjong said waving goodbye.

“Oh, ah… okay. Be careful? .. Yah! Yah! Where are you going?” he called out but his classmate couldn’t hear him anymore.

When Sungjong arrived at the hospital Sungyeol was in a deep sleep while Myungsoo looked like mess. But he didn’t smile not made eye contact, instead he walked pass Myungsoo into a table and set his bag.

“ Did you eat already? I brought you food and your clothes so you can take a bath. I’ll look after Sungyeol for awhile then when you finish I’ll take my leave” Sungjong said in metered words.

Myungsoo was was surprised by his friend’s actions could only say okay. Soon he got out of the bath and Sungjong was setting the table.

“Hey, I didn’t called you for this”

“ What do you mean “this”?

“ you’re not my maid or anything. You don’t have to do this”

“ Then what am I?” Sungjong shot back, “ I mean… It’s okay. No need to worry. Uhmm… I’m done preparing the food. I should be leaving.”

When he was at the door Myungsoo stopped him.

“ What?” Sungjong answered.

“five minutes. Just five more minutes…”

Myungsoo led Sungjong on the couch. The younger boy was confused at first but after he sat and the older boy laid his head on the latter’s lap and fell asleep he didn’t say anything anymore.

Myungsoo’s POV

How many times have I rejected but why do I keep on doing it even though there’s a possibility that, that person would hate me.

For once I never thought that I should stop, all I want is for that person to know and acknowledge my feelings.

I don’t care who hated me.

But why do I keep hesitating lately.

Thinking, I don’t want that person to hate me, no matter what.

Uncomfortable, I don’t want to see him sad.

Restless, if he’s not here.

Anxious like there’s a pit of darkness that formed inside my stomach and it’s eating me inside out every time I broke a promise.

Uncertainty. I don’t to think the day he’ll decide to leave.

The feeling I have keep increasing every time he would ignore me. It’s like I want to grab him by the hand, never let him look at someone else other than me.

I’ve always been clear of what I feel. So sure of what I want…

, but do I really need it?

Something inside me keep saying something I can’t understand.

You will regret this. You need to stop. You’re hopeless.

What will I regret?

Why?

“What am I to you” is a question I’ve taken for granted until now. I’ve never thought about it. Never thought what we are.

Friends.

….Friends?”

Lover?… No..

What are we then? If I ask you what I am to you, what will you say?”

Sungjong, why do i feel so anxious when I'm with you. 

Why do I hate seeing you without your smile.

I hate feelings I don’t know.

don't leave.

i dob't know the reason why but i don't want you

i just want you to...

End of POV.

"Stay"

 Sungjong was looking outside the window, for a moment it would seem that he's crying but then he quickly wipe the evidence.

.......................................................................................IDviant.....................................................................................................

La douleur exquise...?