Author Note: Babo (prounounced pabo) means stupid/idiot

Time seemed to stand still for the brief seconds their lips were touching, as if they were off in their own world. It wasn't long before Jan Di became very aware of what was happening. She was kissing Ji Hoo… Again… It didn't quite seem real. Jan Di's mind flashed to the dream. Was this another dream? It couldn't be real, could it?

Ji Hoo ended the kiss and withdrew from her. He ended it so quickly that she didn't have the chance to decide whether to break apart or continue. He studied her quietly in anticipation of her reaction. Her eyes widened with the realization of what they'd done, and she began to hyperventilate. Her heart was racing. It was becoming difficult to breathe, and she felt sick.

Ji Hoo looked at her, and a concerned look spread across his face. "Are you OK?" He reached out for her. She gasped and recoiled at his touch, as if bitten. Her eyes darted back and forth, and she shifted uneasily. Ji Hoo's lips partly slightly in resignation.

She stood up shakily, staring out, and breathing heavily. He rose next to her, prepared to catch her if she fell. She looked as though she may. She was finally able to mutter, "I have to go."

"Jan Di…" He said delicately. "I'm sorry." His voice was calm, but his eyes were pleading with her. Jan Di looked through him, as if he were a ghost. Without a word, she turned and began to quickly walk away. He caught up to her and kept pace, still afraid to touch her. "Jan Di, wait. I'll take you home, OK?"

"It's OK. I'd like to be alone if you don't mind…" She continued walking ahead. He looked on, vigilant, as she made her way toward the parking lot. Fearing she'd walk into traffic without looking in the state she was in, he followed at a distance until she got onto a bus. He sighed and covered his face with his hands.
Babo, Babo, Babo…

Jan Di made her way to the back of the bus and took a seat. Her mind was still reeling. She thought of the kiss. She couldn't fathom what she'd been thinking or how she could've allowed such a thing to happen again. This time neither of them could claim it was an accident. This time neither of them could claim innocence. She realized that she'd been avoiding, no, denying many things lately. Her confusing thoughts, her jealousy, her dream… She'd rationalized them and pushed them away, but she could no longer deny it. The fact was that she was feeling something much more than a friend should feel for another friend, much more than a person involved in a serious relationship should feel for someone else. She had a serious problem.

Ji Hoo returned to the bench outside of the hospital. He'd dismissed Sun-Young, somewhat rudely, to follow after Jan Di. It didn't matter, though. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. He thought of the kiss. Those few seconds had been amazing, but had it been worth it? Had those few seconds destroyed everything? He hadn't been thinking. He'd allowed his very carefully guarded emotions to take control, which did not happen often. He'd told Jan Di everything. He'd asked her how she felt, but she'd said nothing. Was she afraid to let him down, or was she afraid to confess something? She hadn't dodged the kiss or attempted to break away. But what did it mean to her?

What do I do now? He wondered. If only he knew where she stood he would know exactly what action to take. But somehow the true feelings of the girl that he knew better than anyone remained a mystery to him. Perhaps her own feelings were a mystery to her. Regardless, he had passed the point of no return. He knew all too well that he could not continue to wander in limbo. It was on Jan Di now.

He decided it best to give Jan Di some space to process, and then he would discuss it with her. Depending on Jan Di's words, he resigned himself to either returning to his cold dark world of despair or defying Joon Pyo and facing the brunt of his wrath once more. Neither option sounded appealing. He thought of Joon Pyo. It would only be a matter of time before he would need to be honest with him.
Joon Pyo, mian-hae…

He sighed and stood. He went to his car and headed home to collect Grandfather's things.

Jan Di was so lost in her thoughts that she missed the stop for her apartment. So, she decided to stop at the porridge shop early. Ga Eul should be there by now. She stumbled in, still dazed.

"Jan Di," Master called to her. It took a moment to register. She looked up and bowed to him silently.

"Jan Di!" Ga Eul exclaimed upon seeing her friend. "What are you doing here so early?"

"Ji Hoo Sunbae's Grandfather had emergency surgery last night."

Ga Eul and Master looked at her, concerned. "Oh my, is he OK?" Ga Eul asked.

"Yes, he's out of surgery and awake now. I was there until early this morning with Ji Hoo Sunbae."

"Thank goodness!" Ga Eul exclaimed. Master sighed in relief.

"But, is something else the matter, Jan Di?" Ga Eul studied her friend. Jan Di's eyes were downcast.

"Come on!" Ga Eul took Jan Di by the hand and dragged her out of the restaurant. Master looked on and released a heavy sigh. He always missed the best conversations!

Ga Eul put a friendly hand on Jan Di's arm and looked at her, waiting patiently.

"We kissed..." Jan Di finally said, staring at her feet.

"You…kissed?"

Jan Di nodded.

"You and…Ji Hoo Sunbae?"

Jan Di nodded. Ga Eul let out a small gasp.

"So, what does this mean?"

"I don't know," Jan Di mumbed. "It just happened. Woo Bin told me about Ji Hoo's Grandfather, so I went to the hospital. He seemed…glad to see me. I stayed there with him while Grandfather had surgery. It was as if we were never apart…. Grandfather awoke early this morning." Jan Di paused. "I guess Ji Hoo Sunbae went on a blind date last night before Grandfather collapsed. His date showed up at the hospital this morning."

Ga Eul gasped again.

"I left, and Ji Hoo Sunbae followed me. He told me that he still loves me."

Ga Eul gasped again. Jan Di rather wished her friend would stop reacting as if she was watching a drama on TV.

"Then what…?" Ga Eul asked, on the edge of her seat.

"Well, he asked how I felt about him, and I couldn't respond…I don't know what was wrong with me, but I just couldn't…move. And he kissed me…"

"Did you kiss him back?" Ga Eul asked matter-of-factly.

Jan Di thought for a moment. Did I kiss him back? She recalled the kiss. She could see it and feel it so clearly in her head, despite the briefness of the whole interaction. She remembered being very still, frozen even. When she felt the kiss, she'd been caught off guard and she'd remained frozen. The kiss was a cool wave softly caressing the shore. The kiss had seemed to further emphasize his words. It seemed to say thank you, I love you, and stay with me all in one… It had been a mixture of longing, gratitude, and sincere love. He'd done all the work, but she had accepted it. If he hadn't ended it, if she hadn't snapped back to reality, would she have participated? She wasn't sure.

"I suppose I let him. I didn't really kiss back, but I allowed it. It was over so quickly, like before, only it was intentional this time."

"Well, you didn't kiss him back, so…"

Jan Di cut her off. "I'm to blame, too!" She paused, realizing she'd spoken louder than she'd intended, but she was tired of everyone protecting her.

Ga Eul pursed her lips and squeezed Jan Di's arm lightly.

Jan Di paused. "I definitely felt something. I think I've developed stronger feelings for him…I don't know what to do."

Ga Eul exchanged a sympathetic glance with Jan Di.

"I guess I need to figure this out. And I think I should be honest with Joon Pyo about what happened."

Ga Eul nodded slowly. "What are you going to say to him?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I think you should really think about this carefully and figure out what you're going to say beforehand. And you should talk to Ji Hoo Sunbae first. He's involved, too."

Jan Di nodded. "You're right." She'd hoped to avoid Ji Hoo for a while. She'd always been a person to confront her problems head-on, but lately it seemed all she'd been doing was hiding.

"I hope that Joon Pyo can forgive me…"

Ga Eul crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "Well, he loves you a lot."

Jan Di nodded very slowly. She felt undeserving of that love. "Yes, but I can't see him possibly understanding this or being OK with it. I really don't know what he'll do." Jan Di felt the slightest hint of fear when she thought about his reaction. Would he lose his temper? Would he be unforgiving? Would he retaliate? Or would he simply be hurt? She didn't know what caused her the most anxiety, initially facing him and seeing the pain on his face, or living with the consequences that would follow. She rather hoped he would lash out at her, and then perhaps they could move past it. She desperately wished she could keep Ji Hoo out of it. She felt the strange desire to protect him now.

Jan Di had decided not to avoid. After all, she'd told Ji Hoo Sunbae in the past that it was cowardly. She wouldn't be a coward either. It was clear that Ji Hoo was distressed. He'd been trying to get in touch. He'd sent her some messages, apologizing profusely and attempting to take all the blame. She'd responded in brief, with a casual reassurance.

In the spirit of not avoiding, she was on her way to see Grandfather. It had been a couple of days, and he was still in the hospital. She felt guilty that she hadn't been to visit him. So, she decided to go. She walked into the hospital with his favorite porridge and some juice in hand.

Ji Hoo sat next to Grandfather's bed rubbing his temples. He checked his phone. Grandfather looked over curiously, amid a sea of flowers, balloons, and a giant teddy bear. Grandfather grumbled. "I can't even breathe from all these flowers. What do I need with all this junk?"

Ji Hoo sighed. "I guess Sun-Young was a little overzealous with all the gifts, Grandfather. I'm sorry, but she was trying to be nice." Ji Hoo moved aside the giant teddy bear that seemed to be staring at him.

Sun-Young had been into the hospital multiple times bringing gifts. She seemed to know Ji Hoo's schedule and would always conveniently show up after he arrived.

"Are you dating that girl?" Grandfather asked suddenly.

"No, Grandfather. We had one date." Ji Hoo rubbed his hands against his legs.

"Hmmm, well good. I don't approve."

Ji Hoo cocked his head toward Grandfather. Grandfather pursed his lips.

"She's too tall." Grandfather replied, matter-of-factly.

"Too tall?" Ji Hoo asked.

"Yes, and she brought the wrong flowers. Not to mention all this other junk I have no use for."

Ji Hoo smirked. "Anything else you don't like about her?"

Grandfather cautioned Ji Hoo with an eyebrow raise. "Hmmm, and I don't think she's the right girl for you!"

Ji Hoo scoffed. The right girl for me, that's a laugh… "And who do you think I should be with, Grandfather?" Ji Hoo turned toward Grandfather to face him straight on.

Grandfather simply gave him a knowing look.

"Well, I wouldn't get your hopes up, Grandfather. I don't think it's going to happen." Ji Hoo replied, crossing his arms and turning back to face the wall across the room.

Ji Hoo had told Grandfather about the kiss. He'd received the advice he'd expected, that he should discuss what it meant with Jan Di. Well, that would be fine if she wasn't avoiding me right now…

Moments later, Jan Di arrived at Grandfather's room. "Jan Di, child!" Grandfather called out upon seeing her. Ji Hoo's eyes widened slightly and he shifted in his chair upon seeing her.

"Hello, Grandfather! How are you?" She walked to his bedside. She glanced to Ji Hoo and gave him a reassuring smile. He shoved his hands into his pockets without saying a word.

"It's so good to see you, Child."

"I brought you porridge!" Jan Di prepared the porridge on his tray.

"Mmm, looks good."

Jan Di smiled. "It's good to see you, too, Grandfather. I'm sorry that it's been a couple of days." She looked downward.

"Oh, nonsense, you're a busy young woman! You can't spend all your time in a hospital room with an old man. I wish you'd convince this one." Grandfather pointed to Ji Hoo. Ji Hoo sighed.

"Still, I should have been here sooner. Forgive me." Jan Di bowed. Grandfather brushed her off and chuckled.

Jan Di fluffed Grandfather's pillows and brought him the juice. "Do you need anything else?"

"Ahh, of course not. This is perfect. No need for any more fussing." Grandfather began to devour the porridge.

Jan Di smiled and sat next to Ji Hoo. "How are you doing?" She asked warmly.

He smiled. "I'm doing fine. Thank you. How are you?"

"I'm good." She hesitated. "Can we talk…?"

Before Ji Hoo could answer Sun-Young swept in like a summer breeze. "Hello!" She bowed to the room, but her eyes settled on Ji Hoo and Jan Di.

The two rose and bowed to her. Grandfather nodded and raised an eyebrow. He was relieved that she didn't have more gifts.

"How have you been feeling, Grandfather?" Sun-Young made her way to Grandfather's bedside and stood beside Ji Hoo. Jan Di remained back.

"It's Mr. Yoon, actually." Grandfather mumbled coldly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Yoon. How do you like your presents?"

Grandfather looked around. "They're lovely." He mumbled with a not-so-well-veiled sneer.

Sun-Young looked at Ji Hoo and then Jan Di. "Ah, Jan Di, how are you doing today?"

Jan Di cracked a smile. "Good, thank you. And you, Sun-Young?"

"I'm doing very well!" She beamed. Grandfather shifted in the bed. "Oh, let me help you, Mr. Yoon!" Sun-Young fumbled for Grandfather's pillow.

"Ah, that's OK. Jan Di here knows how I like them." He motioned to Jan Di.

Jan Di quickly made her way to Grandfather's side to assist, as Sun-Young moved aside. Ji Hoo and Grandfather exchanged a glance. Ji Hoo frowned. Grandfather raised an eyebrow in response. Sun-Young looked over at a clearly uncomfortable Ji Hoo. She smiled, hoping to elicit a smile in return, to no avail.

Ji Hoo beckoned for the girls to sit. He made his way to the other side of the room and leaned against the wall. Grandfather continued to slurp down his porridge. "Ah, Mr. Yoon, I see that you're having porridge. That's great for recovery!" Sun-Young said.

Grandfather nodded. He looked over at Sun-Young and Jan Di. Sun-Young smiled and then looked over at Ji Hoo. Jan Di was looking down and rubbing her legs. Ji Hoo's eyes were also downcast, as he crossed his arms and plastered himself further against the wall.

"Mm, yes, Jan Di brought this for me. She's always taking care of me and my grandson here. Don't know what we'd do without her…"

Ji Hoo looked over at Grandfather quizzically. What is he up to? Grandfather met his gaze briefly then went back to eating.

"Oh, that's nice." Sun-Young said, looking to Ji Hoo for affirmation. Ji Hoo's face was stone. Sun-Young looked to Jan Di. Jan Di smiled awkwardly then looked away.

The four tolerated the stuffy atmosphere awhile longer until Sun-Young seemed to be at her limit for the day. "Well, I'd better be going…" She said hesitantly, as she very slowly rose and walked to the door.

Ji Hoo thanked her and bowed. She bowed and shot him one last glance before frowning and leaving the room.

"I should go, too, Grandfather." Jan Di said shortly after. She bowed to him. He returned with a friendly smile and a wave.

"I'll walk you out," Ji Hoo said. "I'll be back in a bit Grandfather."

They walked out together. "You wanted to talk to me?"

She nodded slowly, looking down.

"Need a ride home?"

She nodded. "Thanks."

They spent the drive in silence. Jan Di focused upon her hands and appeared deep in thought. Upon arrival, he opened the door for her, and they walked to her apartment.

"Mian-hae." She finally said at the door, her eyes downcast.

"For what?"

"For running away like that. And for not responding to you right away. I was just freaked out. I needed time to think."

"No, I'm sorry. I never should have done that. I wasn't thinking clearly, and…"

She cut him off. "It's OK. You don't have to take all the blame. I was to blame, too. I didn't stop you."

Jan Di looked down and took a deep breath. After a long pause she said, "I'm going to New York."

Ji Hoo felt his heart stop for a second. New York? When? For how long?

"Oh, when?" He asked somberly.

"In three days. I'm going to visit Joon Pyo for a week for the holiday." She paused. "And…I think I should tell him what happened…"

Ji Hoo exhaled and nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you about it because you're involved, too."

"What are you going to say to him?"

"I don't know yet. But I feel like I shouldn't keep it from him."

Ji Hoo nodded.

"I don't want to cause any problems between you two… I don't really know yet what I'm going to say, but I am going to take the blame."

"I can't let you do that."

"I need to do it. At least I'll have a long flight to come up with what I'm going to say."

Ji Hoo sighed heavily. He could see disaster written all over this, and he just couldn't accept that she was going to take the blame. And how was that possibly going to work when he was on the other end of the kiss? "I was the one who initiated the kiss, so I feel that I should be the one to tell Joon Pyo about it."

She blinked and looked down. "Please let me take care of this. I want to make things right."

Ji Hoo nodded. He wasn't convinced that this was a good idea, but it was clear that Jan Di had decided. He'd respect that and trust her. He looked at her. She met his gaze hesitantly. They stared for another moment, neither sure of what to say next. Ji Hoo swallowed hard. "I can…take you to the airport if you'd like."

"It's OK… You have so much going on right now. I feel badly leaving when Grandfather is still in the hospital. Please tell him that I'll be thinking of him and hoping for him to get well very soon." She paused. "I'm sorry that I won't see the two of you for the holiday… Oh, but wait…" Jan Di entered her apartment and returned with two gifts, one for Ji Hoo and one for Grandfather.

"I have something for you, too." Ji Hoo bid her to wait and went to his car. He pulled out the box and note from Seo Hyun that he'd been keeping there. "This is from Seo Hyun. I'm sorry it took me so long to give it to you."

Jan Di bowed and thanked him. "Take care, Sunbae, and Merry Christmas…" She placed a gentle kiss upon his cheek and entered her apartment. It felt like a goodbye kiss to Ji Hoo. He watched after her for a moment and then turned to leave.