Parting

Like the Lotus

Joon Pyo decided to take Ji Hoo's advice and give Jan Di a call. It was evening for him and morning for her. He waited to hear her voice on the other end. She answered after several rings. "Yoboseyo?"

"Geum Jan Di," he responded brightly.

"Goo Joon Pyo, good evening." She sounded weary, but she smiled at hearing his voice.

"How have you been?"

"Good. How was your trip?"

"Oh, well it was OK." Joon Pyo rubbed his neck.

"Everything went well with the merger?" Jan Di decided to keep the conversation about the trip superficial.

"Mm," he replied.

"I'm glad."

Joon Pyo could feel the tension rising. He rubbed his temple with his free hand. "Jan Di?"

"Hm?"

"About the tabloid…"

"How did you know-oh, I guess you talked to Ji Hoo Sunbae…"

"Yes. He told me you saw it. I wanted to apologize for that."

"You don't need to."

"Let me explain…"

"It's OK, I trust you."

"Just hear me out."

She was silent.

"Alex…Ms. Lee had a little too much to drink at the business dinner. She slipped, and I was helping her when that picture was taken. I have no idea who took it or how they got the shot. I plan to find out, though."

"It's OK. Let's not make a big deal out of it." She said, her frustration rising. She simply wanted to forget about the shocking article. She grew silent.

"Mianhae." He replied.

"It's OK." She paused then sighed. So, the trip was eventful?"

He sighed. "Not really. Just business…I'm sorry I didn't get back to you right away. We had business meetings and then she dragged me around the city before our flight." Joon Pyo immediately regretted the last part of the statement.

Jan Di blinked. She dragged him around the city? He actually allowed her to talk him into doing something?

"Oh." She simply replied. "So, you two are getting along?" She fidgeted with her pillow.

Joon Pyo hesitated. "I suppose, as best as can be expected. She's still a complete chore."

Jan Di sighed. She couldn't tell if Joon Pyo was displaying his usual callousness or masking something more. He was not one to easily express his true feelings or admit when he liked someone. Jan Di refused to entertain the notion that he was falling for Alex, but maybe he liked her more than he let on… But no, she wouldn't think that way.

"I thought of you. I wished I could show you the sights there…" He continued, remorsefully.

She smiled. "I would have liked that. Maybe someday."

"Not maybe. I will show you someday." He exclaimed confidently.

She chuckled. "Ok, you will."


Later that day, Jan Di prepared to meet Seo Hyun for a shopping excursion. Seo Hyun had insisted on picking up Jan Di in her car. Seo Hyun hugged Jan Di upon arrival. They sat together in the back of her car and were driven to a large shopping mall. Seo Hyun always chose to go to the most extravagant of places.

Seo Hyun looked over at Jan Di and smiled. Jan Di smiled somewhat awkwardly. Ji Hoo had been more absent lately. She wondered if he'd been spending a lot of time with Seo Hyun. It only made sense considering she was only in town for a short while.

"So, how have you been doing, Jan Di?" Seo Hyun asked amicably.

"Busy, but good." Jan Di smiled. "And you, Unnie?"

"The same. It's a lot of work to create your own business, but I love it."

Jan Di thought of Joon Pyo. He must be under a lot of stress, too…

Jan Di and Seo Hyun talked casually for the remainder of the ride. Upon arrival, Seo Hyun's driver opened their door. Seo Hyun linked arms with Jan Di and pulled her toward the entrance. They walked arm and arm throughout the mall, as if they were best friends. Jan Di admired Seo Hyun a great deal, but things felt strange. She couldn't help but feel distracted and concerned about Ji Hoo. She worried about him getting hurt. She didn't feel it was her place to question Seo Hyun's intentions, though.

They continued to browse throughout the stores. Seo Hyun would point out outfits that would look good on Jan Di and hold them up to her. She'd occasionally try on an item and ask Jan Di's opinion, like true girlfriends. She'd buy an item here and there. Jan Di had bought nothing. She didn't really have the money for shopping right now. So, the only real purpose of the outing was hanging out with Seo Hyun.

"Jan Di, look at this." Seo Hyun called her over. She picked up a cute blue dress and held it up to her.

"You'd look so cute in this." She said. Jan Di looked down at it and smiled.

"I'll bet Ji Hoo would love it." Seo Hyun continued.

"Huh?" Jan Di looked up at Seo Hyun, her face a mixture of surprise and embarrassment.

"I think he'd like this blue on you."

Jan Di looked at her, confused. Seo Hyun smiled.

"Unnie, what…?" She wondered why Seo Hyun would suggest her wearing something that Ji Hoo would like.

Seo Hyun chuckled. "Nothing. I was just thinking that Ji Hoo would like it, so Joon Pyo would probably like it, too."

Jan Di nodded uncomfortably and looked down. Seo Hyun watched her closely.

"It's nice, Unnie." Jan Di began to deliberately look around elsewhere, picking up items haphazardly.

Seo Hyun grinned knowingly. The girls continued to look around the mall for awhile longer. Seo Hyun suggested a few more items and attempted to buy things for Jan Di. Jan Di would politely refuse each time.

They decided to have lunch. Seo Hyun took Jan Di to a fancy restaurant. Jan Di felt out of place. She glanced in her purse, hoping she'd have enough money. Seo Hyun noticed. "Don't worry, Jan Di. Lunch is on me."

Jan Di smiled awkwardly. "Thank you, Unnie." She always felt guilty when Seo Hyun paid for her. Seo Hyun gazed at Jan Di amused as she studied the menu for the least expensive item, mumbling occasionally to herself about the prices. After ordering, Jan Di turned to Seo Hyun.

"Unnie, thank you for today."

Seo Hyun nodded. "Thank you, Jan Di."

"For what?"

"For taking care of Ji Hoo as you promised."

Jan Di hemmed and hawed. "Oh well, I…don't really know that I did much…"

"You did more than you know."

"Actually, he's really the one who has taken care of me. He's always been there when I've needed him." Jan Di replied.

Seo Hyun smiled to herself. "He's really changed. You've changed him, Jan Di."

Jan Di blinked and pursed her lips.

"It's fascinating actually." Seo Hyun mused.

Jan Di stared, dumbfounded.

"At least since I first knew him. Don't you think he's changed, Jan Di?"

Jan Di's mind drifted to Ji Hoo. "I don't know if he's changed. For me, he's just always been Ji Hoo Sunbae," she responded wistfully.

Seo Hyun smiled. She took a sip of the water in front of her. "I feel like I don't even know him anymore… But I'm very curious." She said, almost dreamily.

Jan Di wondered where Seo Hyun was headed with this. She wasn't quite sure how to respond. "…Unnie, are you happy in Paris?"

Seo Hyun smiled. "I am."

Jan Di decided to ask the question that had been on her mind. "Will you…stay there?"

Seo Hyun thought for a moment. "I will. For now, at least." She replied, elusively.

Jan Di's throat suddenly felt dry. She took a gulp of her water.

"Do you get lonely…for Joon Pyo, Jan Di?"

Jan Di paused. "Sometimes. But I keep so busy, and I have…friends…and family to keep me company." Jan Di felt like she had a good support group, but she knew that lately her support revolved mainly around one person.

"What about you, Unnie?" Jan Di asked, hesitantly. She hoped she was not being too forward.

"I keep busy, too. I also have friends. And I keep in touch with my family. Sometimes I miss romance though. Do you know what I mean?"

Jan Di felt suddenly flushed and uncomfortable. She had never been able to talk about romance easily. She had so little experience with it anyway. Seo Hyun seemed so nostalgic right now. She hoped she wouldn't continue talking about romance or bring up Ji Hoo further.

Jan Di gave a short laugh and nodded. Seo Hyun studied her. "I dated a few men in Paris, but none that I really could see myself settling down with." She laughed. "Then again, it's hard to imagine me settling down, isn't it?"

Jan Di smiled uncomfortably, unsure of what Seo Hyun wanted to hear.

"I suppose I always had someone in the back of my mind as a prospect, who would always be there. It's a comforting thought, but we sometimes take it for granted."

Jan Di grew pensive. Was she talking about Ji Hoo? Was she trying to tell her something?

Seo Hyun watched her closely. "Have you ever experienced that, Jan Di?"

Jan Di considered this. Was Seo Hyun suggesting that she was also holding onto someone from the past?

"I, um…" Jan Di could only stammer. She desperately wished Seo Hyun would discontinue this line of questioning.

Seo Hyun could sense Jan Di's discomfort and decided to release her. "Anyway, I guess I'm just saying that you don't realize what you have until it's gone…Something to think about." Seo Hyun smiled and started on her lunch that had since been brought to the table. Jan Di watched Seo Hyun for a moment and then began to eat her lunch, as well.


Jan Di felt relieved to be back at home. Shopping had been tedious and Seo Hyun had been…talkative. Jan Di had gotten the feeling that Seo Hyun wanted to tell her something, but she didn't know what. She sighed and went about her evening. She decided that she would make some dinner soon. A text came in. She grabbed her phone from the table and looked at it. Ji Hoo Sunbae wanted to talk to her at the stairwell. What's this about?

Ji Hoo paced back and forth at the stairwell. He'd asked Jan Di to meet him there. There were things to be said, but he felt himself wavering. He wasn't sure if he could go through with it. His chest was aching and his head was spinning. His thoughts were rampaging within him. He leaned against the balcony, clenching his hands tightly and pushing against the stone wall. With how he was feeling, it was a wonder the wall didn't collapse.

Jan Di arrived. She could sense his nervousness immediately. "Sunbae." She simply said, waiting for his explanation of why he'd called her there. She watched him hesitate and look away.

"Are you…OK?" She asked, after a moment.

He gave a short exhale. Was he OK? He was anything but OK.

She looked at him, concerned. "Whatever it is, you can tell me." She said, preparing for whatever it may be. She slowly moved closer to him. He held up a hand as if to block her from coming closer. She stopped short a few feet away, shocked by the harsh gesture. He leaned against the wall and continued to avoid eye contact. She was becoming increasingly more concerned about him.

Ji Hoo leaned there silently for what seemed like a very long time. She watched him carefully in terrible anticipation. He finally sighed and opened his mouth to speak. She hadn't been prepared for the words that came out.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore…" He said, with a clenched jaw, barely allowing the words to pass his lips. He watched her blink and look down. Her eyes flitted back and forth as she processed his words.

She wanted to demand an explanation, but perhaps she already knew. Her conversation with Seo Hyun was making more sense now. Ji Hoo Sunbae must be planning to start up a relationship with Seo Hyun once more. And she would be…in the way? She looked away, doing her best to keep her composure.

He could see the shock and hurt written on her face. He wanted so much to comfort her, to protect her from himself. He once vowed to never be the one to hurt her but he could see that he'd done just that. He had failed as her firefighter, and he despised himself for it. He despised the weakness within him that had pushed him to do this to her. He felt he owed her an explanation, but none seemed adequate. He couldn't say, "I love you too much, and it's just too hard to be friends." It seemed so weak…

"I just…think it's for the best right now," was his fragile justification.

He could see tears forming at the corners of her eyes, and he could see her fighting them back. He watched her slowly nod, head down, and stiff as a board.

He desperately wished that she would question or challenge him on this. He urged her to say something with his eyes. If she did, he doubted he would be able to go through with it. He was barely remaining in-tact. His chest rose and fell heavily. He clenched his fists inside his pockets, waiting for her to say something.

She blinked back tears and looked at him. She nodded again. "Ok, Sunbae…if that's what you want." He wanted to shout that it wasn't what he wanted at all!

His heart was crumbling. He couldn't stand it for another second. He heedlessly closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. He buried her head into his chest and rested his chin against her.

She didn't understand what was happening. Moments ago he'd told her that he didn't want to see her, and now he was holding her tightly in his arms, tighter than he ever had. Did he think she was too weak to cope with it? Caring not, she gave in to his embrace.

He felt her stiffen when he captured her and seconds later soften against him. He fixed her to him, one hand holding her head and the other pressed against her back. She temporarily surrendered and sank deeper into him. She put her arms carefully around him. He knew it wouldn't be long before she broke his hold, but he would savor it as long as he could.

He considered whispering "Mianhae," but what was the point of feebly apologizing when she probably had no idea what was going on right now. His heart cried out to say "Saranghae," to tell her that he would never forget her, but it all seemed futile. No great parting line seemed satisfactory. Perhaps his actions could speak? He yearned to passionately kiss her lips….If this was truly the end, couldn't he at least take a parting kiss?

Instead, he continued to hold her. He ran his hands slowly down her back. He felt her shiver subtly. He touched his forehead to hers and pressed his lips against her forehead, softly at first and gradually harder. She closed her eyes, allowing the burning kiss to persist a bit longer. He ended the kiss as suddenly as it began and met her bewildered gaze.

"Goodbye." He said and quickly turned from her. He left her behind and exited the stairwell, clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles grew white.

Jan Di stared after him for a moment, perplexed. She made her way to the wall, quivering slightly. She leaned against the wall and slid down it to a seated position. She wrapped her arms around her knees, buried her head, and cried.

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JHsgf82
I loved writing "Like the Lotus," but in a way, I enjoyed its sequel (Like the Lotus: The Continuing Story) even more.

Comments

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grammey #1
Chapter 34: I have read this story several times and enjoyed it every time.
liSSie #2
Chapter 1: As promised, I'm reading now.
jesuisx #3
Chapter 41: Hands down, the best fanfic I've ever read :') you are beyond amazing and I appreciate how all your fanfics are so detailed, precious and beautiful. Thank you so much for keeping Ji Hoo and Jan Di's story alive.
seamusmommy #4
Chapter 41: *sighs* bucket of happy tears falling down my face. Yes, the whole name thing gets confusing to write about, especially when they are minor characters.
seamusmommy #5
Chapter 40: Aigoo, just when I think things will go smoothly. Aish, these 2 dorks and what took JunPyo so long? I found myself shouting back at Jihoo when he asked JunPyo if he should have beat up his Mom's henchmen. Lol. So now what twists will authornim throw at me, tying my stomach in knots?
seamusmommy #6
Chapter 39: I really do hope this isn't JunPyo's doing. He should know by now he won't be getting anywhere this way.
seamusmommy #7
Chapter 38: A very distracting and jealous Jihoo is hard to ignore. Kekeke
seamusmommy #8
Chapter 37: Aaaahhh....aptly named chapter...but really...a giddy JiHoo is just a little too much, don't you think? And yet, my smile is stretching as wide as the table. LOL. I love Harabeoji...yes, Harabeoji, you make sure that boy remains a gentlemen and doesn't lose his head. ;) Phew! I made it. Still cringing at the beginning of this chapter and then grinning like a dork by the end. Resting for a bit and then I'll continue.
seamusmommy #9
Chapter 36: Aish!! JanDi, Jihoo...you're tying my stomach in knots!! Jihoo, my friend...that WAS an ultimatum. And Alex, I already told JunPyo that a few chapters ago, LOL. I told authornim I was cringing. Poor JunPyo, he just hasn't had a chance in all this. Well, focus on capturing the bad guy, JunPyo. That will make you feel better - a little.
seamusmommy #10
Chapter 33: I love Woo Bin. Everyone should have a loving and noble mafia guy in their life.